Fund Raiser
By: Elouise Jocilinda Pollyanna Theodora Clementine Victory (A.K.A. El) and Jamie Evans
El: Hi-hi! I realized this would be funny, so I decided to write about it.
Jamie: Yeah! Anyway, this is about the group and a troop of desperate Girl Scouts. Anyway, enjoy!
El: Like chocolate!
~*~
Jack sighed and turned on the T.V. Suddenly, the doorbell went off. Jack groaned. This was his day off and he was hoping to take a nap. He got up and walked over to the door, opened it and gasped in horror. There, in front of him, was a troop of Girl Scouts, and the two most annoying girls on the planet. One had calico hair and wore the green skirt and yellow vest with a sash containing army metals on it, with a silver mouse on top, another was a long-haired red-head wearing the same, except with less metals. The other two were a blonde with braids and slightly overweight, and the last was a skinny girl with wavy black hair.
"Hello, mister," the redheaded girl said. "Would you—"
"Wait, Jamie," the calico haired one with the mouse on her head said. "This is…Jack! Hi! Remember us, AppleJack?"
"No!" He said, "What are you doing here?!"
"Well," El said, frowning. "Since the next prank we're going to play will be great, we have to work before we do it. But, I enjoy this because," she smiled and posed a lot, "I get to wear this cute uniform and skirt! Hehehe! Charming, right? Anyway, I'm El, she Jamie, that's Clappy, and these two are Melissa and Heather."
"Anyway," Heather said, annoyed, "Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
"NOOOOOO!" Jack said, running paranoid down the street.
The four girls stood there for a moment. Then, the black-haired Melissa said, "I wanna win that trip to Hawaii!"
"Well then," El said, smirking and getting some pitchforks and torches, "LET'S GET HIM!!!"
"YEAH!" the troop said in unison and went off in a cool car to catch Jack (And, no, we still don't have a drivers license, but WHO CARES?! Screw traffic laws!)
Jack ran down the street, screaming, and bumped into Rua and Ruka. They groaned and fell on their butts. Then, they recognized Jack Atlas.
"Ow…Hi Jack!" Rua said, hopping up and down. "What are you—?"
The girls and their cool car stopped next to them. Jack watched in horror as a machine gun came out of the ceiling, with blonde Heather controlling it. She put on her goggles and the girls rolled down their windows, with popcorn in their hands, and watched, counting down.
"3…2…1…"
"No…" Jack said, hoarsely, as he picked up Rua and held him in front of him as a shield.
"COOKIES!"
Heather laughed like a wild woman, and her eyes went spirally as she fired the machine gun at Jack and Rua, which fired cookies at them. And, apparently, cookies can hurt. Badly. Rua yelled and struggled, and, eventually, passed out from the cookies and Jack used Ruka instead as Yusei walked down the sidewalk. He saw the scene and screamed. El turned to him and smiled evilly.
"GET HIM!" El said, and Melissa and she came out with boxes of cookies.
"HELP ME!" Yusei yelled as he ran down the sidewalk, with the crazy girls behind him. People stared at him as he ran with the girls hot on his trail, laughing and yelling at him to buy the cookies.
"BUY OUR COOKIES!" They screamed. El threw a cookie at him and yelled, "Mint Slip attack!"
The cookie landed in front of him and Yusei slipped on it, falling to the ground with a thud. Melissa and El smiled and started beating him up. When they were done, Yusei had been hogtied with hardened cookie dough, beaten black and blue, and had cookies shoved into his mouth. He struggled around and yelled out muffled cries and the people passed on by, scared, confused, and weirded out.
El smiled like an angel and said, in a sweet voice, "That will be $178.93, please."
"Mmmnph!" Yusei mumbled with his mouth filled with cookies.
"Yes sir, if you're busy, I'll take the money out of your wallet for you. Melissa, search him."
Melissa laughed evilly and took away his wallet from his pants pocket. El smiled. Melissa looked inside, counted the money and smiled.
"Hee hee!" she giggled, "There's a picture of Aki and him in it! Cute couple!"
El looked over Melissa's shoulder to see and smiled wider. Then, she turned to Yusei and said, "Thank you, kind sir!"
They skipped off merrily to the cool car, where Jack, Rua, and Ruka were now unconscious and tied up. Heather was firing at passing bystanders while Jamie counted the money. Jamie saw El and said, "Aki's around the corner in the supermarket. When shall we infiltrate the premesis?"
El tapped Clappy's head and said, "Now. I'll take A squad through the front. You take B squad through the back. Copy?"
She nodded and they loaded their cookie weapons. El and Melissa went to the front, while Heather and Jamie went through the back. They broke in and ran to where Aki was in the dairy aisle. We fired ruthlessly, hitting her with cookie dough, thin mints, tag alongs, do-si-dos, samoas, and more. Aki, at first, was surprised, then angry, and, finally, she was begging for mercy. They stopped when she was on the floor, crying. Then, we bound her with cookie dough and stole her purse, running for the door. When outside, we cheered and jumped all around. Finally, they all lined up in front of El in an army line up and saluted her.
Jamie stated, in an official voice, "The mission was a success, commanding officer El. The money has been taken and the people have been annoyed."
"Great work, Sergeant Jamie. Wonderful work, troops! Let's get you all to Hawaii and let's get on with the typing of the next story!"
"Right!" They said in unison. They did a cool dance to ATC's 'Around the World' and their disappeared in a poof of sakura blossoms, thanks to Melissa.
~*~
El: That was fun! Now that we've raised enough money, let's go rent out you-know-who for our next torture act!
Jamie: Yup yup!
Fin.