"You better not be peeking," Samantha Traynor growled as she padded down the hall, trying to make as little noise as possible. The collection of stuff in her arms had already crinkled more than once on the walk up the stairs to Commander Shepard's apartment.

Shepard squawked indignantly, her hand still clasped over her eyes. "I'm not! I already banged my shins on the damn stairwell. What more do you want?"

"Oh, I want lots of things," Samantha hummed back as she led Annelise over to the master bedroom. "But right now I just want this to be an actual surprise for once."

Desperate to preserve said surprise, Sam had also forced the woman to tighten the cords of her hoodie as much as possible. The soft black fabric comically hugged the curves of Shepard's forehead and face.

There's a possibility Sam also might have taken several pictures of the hooded Shepard and posted them to social media. (Allers responded immediately with ["No one wants to see pics of your freaky foreplay, Traynor. ...video, though ^_~"]. Joker had seconded.)

Perverts.

"I promise I have no idea what's going on right now. Although... with 'Get upstairs now' and 'close your eyes,' I admit my expectations are getting pretty high at this point." A slanted grin appeared beneath Shepard's fingertips, her head turning toward the sound of Sam's voice.

...Annnnd I'm surrounded by perverts.

Takes one to know one, Traynor.

True.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yet." Sam led Shepard to the bed in the dark room, tugging at the woman's sleeve to indicate she should sit down.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Not yet," Sam hissed as she slowly offloaded her armload of wrapped packages in a neat pile next to the Commander, squinting in the low light.

"Now?"

"No." Using her Omni-tool, Samantha tapped at the interface to spark the small votive candle set on top of a flat package. Almost perfect.

A nasal, whiny lilt crept into Shepard's voice. "What about nowww?"

"Bloody hell, Shepard, I will throw this in the trash heap, so help me God."

Shepard's teeth gleamed in the low light, a victorious grin on her visible face. "Oh really? Throw what in the trash heap?"

"You. Because you're rubbish," Sam scolded softly as she maneuvered in front of Annelise, balancing the plate in front of her.

"That's Commander Rubbish, Lieutenant."

Sam sighed in exasperation. "Open your eyes, Commander of Rubbish."

There was a few seconds of rustling as Annelise pulled at the hood that was clinging to her face. A wealth of red hair spilled forth, and she combed her fingers through it to smooth down loose strands caught in her hoodie and mouth. The woman blinked in the low light, wide pupils hiding normally vibrant green irises.

"Happy birthday, Annelise!" Samantha announced proudly.

"Wha? ...Wait, what day is it?" Shepard started to fire up her Omni-tool, but instead shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it's the 12th. Tsk tsk, Traynor. My birthday was yesterday."

"Which you clearly noticed," Sam deadpanned as she leaned closer to the woman. "You put me in quite the dilemma, darling. You're the one who dragged us off the Citadel for the past week. So I could have either A) wished you a happy birthday yesterday knowing everything I got you was waiting back at home."

"Hmmm." Annelise wrinkled her nose as she considered it.

"Instead, I went with option B which was withhold all knowledge of said birthday until my evil scheme could come to fruition. ...do you forgive me?" Sam's voice cracked a little with uncertainty. Despite her confidence that Annelise would be okay about it, there was always that lurking fear that her girlfriend's feelings would be hurt by Samantha "forgetting" her birthday.

"I guess," Shepard muttered with grudging acceptance. The flickering candlelight nearly hid the amused twinkle in her eyes. "...how evil a scheme are we talking about?"

Whew.

"You'll see. Now, I know you don't care for sweets," Sam began. "So I knew better than to get you a cake. Forgive me for breaking tradition with a rather absurd 'cake.'"

"What a sales pitch," Annelise rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she accepted the flat package, careful to keep the precarious votive from sliding off. She examined the flat vacuum-sealed bag before her. "What is it? It's too dark to read."

Shit, I should have thought this through.

The price of mystique, Traynor. Roll with it.

"I know you adore savory things, Shepard. Before you is the finest collection of exotic jerky in the known galaxy. All DNA-amino compatible, though I only recognize about half the animals this smorgasbord comes from."

"And the other half?"

Samantha settled in next to Annelise on the bed, careful not to bump into Shepard's elbows. The candle still teetered at the movement. "You'll just have to find out. And I'll give you the option of hearing my incredible singing or you can just make a wish and blow out the candle."

Please option 2. Please option 2. Please option 2.

"Tempting, but I'll spare you the vocal strain."

Thank Christ.

Annelise brought the plate closer to her face. She glanced over at Samantha, and her smile was radiant. "Thank you, Sam. It's perfect." Her eyes didn't leave Sam's as she pursed her lips. The candle winked out a moment later.

As Sam groped for her wrist to turn on her Omni-tool, she felt Shepard's hand touch her arm. "Sam?"

"Still here. Just a sec."

Samantha thought she heard a small whisper of "Wish came true" before the woman asked, "...Can I turn the lights on now?"

"Nope. Still part of the surprise." The interface glowed to life and Sam fiddled with the dimness settings on a blank screen so she could stay in control of her mood lighting. She gasped when she saw Annelise looking around the room, and hurriedly pointed next to Shepard's lap. "Presents! Open your presents!"

There was a rustle of plastic as Annelise peeled the pack of jerky. A heavy scent of salted meat filled the air as she selected a chunk from a random pocket. Twisting her head to rip off a sufficient bite of the hard meat, she chewed slowly.

"How is it?"

"Really good," came the muffled reply. "Maybe venison? I'm still getting used to food that doesn't come in bar or liquid form."

Sam felt a mixture of sadness and relief as her eyes subconsciously grazed over Shepard's exposed collarbone. Heavy scar tissue could be seen peeking under her hoodie collar. All things considered, Shepard's recovery from the Battle of the Citadel was nothing short of miraculous.

"On that note, open this one first." Samantha pulled out a small cylinder from the three gifts and offered it to Annelise.

The Commander eagerly accepted the gift, the last half of a jerky piece sticking out of Annelise's mouth like a cigar. She picked at the corners of the wrapping paper, careful to rip it off slowly.

"You don't need to be polite, darling. My mum obviously wrapped these. Otherwise it would have just been wrapped in trash and tape."

Annelise smiled, still meticulously unwrapping. "Oh I know. I recognize Priya's handiwork from a mile away." The smile turned wistful. "I just... haven't gotten many gifts in my life. So suck it up, buttercup."

That hit Samantha right in the feels and shut her up instantly. She was studying Shepard's face for that wonderful moment of Dawning Realization.

It came a few seconds later, and it was just as lovely as Sam hoped.

"Is this... did you get me lemon curd?" Annelise rolled the cylinder in her fingers, bringing it close to inspect the label. She pointed at a large black tag slapped over the back. "I can barely read this part. What does it say?"

Leaning close to Shepard's ear, she whispered huskily, "It says 'Property of Annelise Shepard.'"

"That's the real gift," Annelise exhale-laughed. "Especially if you can actually resist the temptation." She screwed off the top and dipped her finger around the edge for a small swatch of sweet gel. That delicious smell triggered something feral in Samantha's subconscious, and she forced herself to look away before she ended up ripping the jar from her girlfriend's hands. Thankfully, Shepard screwed the top shut.

"I know. I'm a hero. This one next." Sam pointed at a flatter cylindrical package.

"Don't I get a say in what I open? Since it's my birthday?"

"Oh I suppose," Sam scoffed and leaned back on the bed, balancing on her elbows.

The woman mock-glared at Sam, but still picked up the gift she'd suggested. This paper peeled off much easier, revealing an oblong disc with a few recessed buttons. Fiddling with the buttons, Annelise finally triggered the holo device.

A tiny holo Commander Annelise Shepard "stood" on the base, her pose heroic.

"Is this-?"

"You're looking at one of the last copies of the Shepard VI, still in working condition."

"How did you get this?" Annelise grinned back at the tiny version of herself as she cycled through the interface. The VI's outfit cycled between N7 armor, dress uniform and casual uniform, before a nude option appeared.

Samantha burst out laughing. "Coincidentally enough, it was advertised at an online sex shop. Don't ask how much I paid that swindler for it. Let's just say I might need to win a few more Kepesh-Yakshi tourneys."

The woman's face grew thoughtful. A guilty line creased her forehead. "You didn't have to do all this, Sam. I would have been happy for a night alone together."

Sam leaned over and airily kissed Annelise's cheek. "I wanted to, darling."

The line disappeared as Shepard poked at the interface for a few more minutes, trying out the VI's catchphrases and poses. She seemed genuinely delighted by the silly thing.

"Last one?" Sam asked with a nudge of her elbow at the largest gift.

Setting both the jar and holo disc on the other side of her lap, Shepard hefted the final package. It crinkled loudly, and a dull rustling could be heard inside. This one she ripped open with fervor. "I think I know what this is... YES."

Three large boxes were taped together. On the outside, embossed words glinted back in the holo light of Sam's Omni-tool: The Andromeda Initiative Collection.

A childlike wonder traced across Shepard's face as she examined the gift. Rendered box art of ships called the Nexus, the Hyperion ark and the Tempest boasted hundreds of individual pieces for each model.

"I've never heard of these," Annelise admitted, though she didn't look disappointed.

Sam shrugged. "Apparently it was a limited run? I had to look it up. I guess these all launched like two years ago and only the people invited knew about it. Found these at the back of a toy store on clearance."

"Guess it didn't catch on. It looks cool, though. Get ready for many lonely nights while I put these together. You didn't think this through."

"Eh, the smile on your face was worth the hit to our relationship," Sam purred.

Shepard beamed back at Samantha as she set the present in her lap. "This is wonderful, Sam. Thank you."

Sitting up, Sam tapped Annelise's nose. "There's still one more thing."

Looking around the bed, Shepard opened her hands. "I don't see anything else. Unless..." A hand found its way on Sam's thigh and started sliding upward. Samantha playfully batted it away as she got up.

"Well, two more things if you consider that a present." Sam assembled herself in the center of the room and tapped away at her Omni-tool before hitting the final keystroke.

Suddenly, there was a small flash of light as a datapad on the wall lit up. It was followed by another and another. Dozens of datapads, holo screens and audio chits were tastefully mounted all along the wall in Shepard's (our) bedroom around eye level.

Images and videos started playing, bathing the room in a warm, strobing glow. Their audio was muted, allowing Sam's deep, nervous breath to be heard. Annelise tilted her head curiously.

"I know the last year has been absolute madness," Sam started slowly. She had been practicing this little speech, but her heart still fluttered.

Bloody public speaking.

This is Shepard, Traynor. Shepard.

I know. That's why I want it to be perfect.

"You fought and sacrificed so much. For me. For everyone."

Annelise nodded, her hand rubbing her left arm. Despite Shepard being fully dressed, her left arm was noticeably thinner than the right.

Sam continued, "It never seemed like anyone was grateful for what you did for them. Always asking for more. Better. Faster. And you did it all and then some."

Reaching out, Sam gestured for Annelise to stand up. Shepard set the model ship collection aside and clasped at Sam's waiting hands. "I know I'm grateful beyond words for you. Both Commander and Annelise: the woman who saved us all, and the woman I love."

Shepard's smile grew, but she didn't interrupt. She glanced around at the videos and images.

"So I, and everyone else whose lives you touched. We all want to say: thank you, Commander Shepard."

It was slow to load at first, but Sam had programmed it for dramatic flavour (with Allers' help). Faces appeared as one. Text appeared. Audio message prompts lit up.

Every person who had ever been helped by Commander Annelise Shepard, from Elysium to the Reaper War. Hundreds, thousands of people from all different races.

Urdnot Wrex's clan on Tuchanka. Colonists on Feros. The asari of the Destiny Ascension. Ex-Cerberus scientists. Salarian STG from Virmire. The quarians on Rannoch. Palaven. Thessia. Earth.

Helena Blake. Conrad Verner. David Archer. Shiala. Kahlee Sanders.

Anyone and everyone.

Short videos. Long videos. Audio files. Some had sent pictures of their children. Some of their rebuilt colony. Some just offered to buy Shepard a drink, or a place at their dinner table if she was ever in the neighborhood.

Annelise walked over to take a closer look, her eyes carefully skimming over everything. Sam stood back, watching as Annelise circled the room. Occasionally, she'd stop to play a video, or an audio log. Shepard stopped at a particular audio log Sam had pulled from archives, an old message Anderson had sent to the council thanking Shepard for her service.

The woman finally turned back to look at Sam, her cheeks wet with tears.

"You did all this?"

"I wish I could take credit, but I had a lot of help. Especially considering the state EDI was in." Sam started tapping at her fingers. "Everyone chipped in. Allers compiled all the video and helped me sync them together. Steve and his new beau mounted all the datapads to the wall last week. Ashley and Vega gathered up Alliance contacts, Liara did her Shadow Broker thing, Tali got the flotilla onboard, Garrus the turians, Wrex the krogan. Anything else, Miranda somehow found..."

Before Sam could finish, she was tightly enveloped in Annelise's arms. Shepard buried her face in Samantha's neck and she just held Sam for a long moment. A symphony of THANK YOU COMMANDER SHEPARDs punctuated the air with high and low voices.

"Do you like it?"

"I... love it."

"Well then on behalf of the galaxy, I'd just like to say: thanks, princess."