p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emDecember 31, 2006/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack was being pathetic, he knew he was being pathetic, but he couldn't help being so completely and utterly pathetic as he looked at the chocolate covered cherries with a look so depressed and miserable he was sure the sky was getting grayer the longer he looked at them. He muttered a curse under his breath shaking his head as he turned away from the sweets aisle. His hand ran to his hip the pain was still there, a dull throb right above his hipbone. He still couldn't believe all of this had happened. He knew his life was crazy but the events that had unfolded he would never imagined would be his. The nightmares of those men killing Maria coming after him; instead, were filled with Josie shooting him in the stomach. He shook his head. emFucking nightmare is what that was./em Certainly not what he was expecting when he was being dragged out of his house in Las Vegas./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Somehow though, this had all felt like a dream. He knew after his blow up with Megan that D and he would have to have a serious talk. A lump formed in his throat. emWhat if he doesn't come back? What if he leaves you?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He shook his head and steeled himself as he started walking briskly down the coffee aisle. emThat's not going to happen, D promised he'd find me. He promised that he would come back. That letter proves it./embr /emYeah. /ememBut it also showed that he was terrified of seeing you again if the job wasn't finished./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emI wish he would tell me what he's doing. He could be hurt right now, shot again, hiding in a fucking cave./embr /emDon't be ridiculous the only reason he got shot was because of you./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He walked down the aisle looking at the various coffee that were on the white shelves. He grabbed one without thinking eager to get back to his apartment where he could just put on his pajamas and forget about the chocolates, the world, the pain in his side, the pain in his chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /There was a reason he hadn't gotten more drugs from the hospital. Not saying that Jack was desperate but there was a large fear that he could become dependent on the pain killers because of their effects they had of making Jack forget the pain. Forget everything, yet make everything a million times worse./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He was walking up the next set of shelves when he stopped short seeing the ginger ale. That lump came back as he walked past it before he turned around grabbing them. emWhat the hell it's not like he's going to be around the corner and cock his damn eyebrow at you with his dumbass look on his face./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He strolled slowly to the cashier shoving some cash at him as he felt tears well up into his eyes. emDamn D why is this taking so long./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack had hurriedly returned to his apartment not even bothering to turn on the light before he had realized as he put the groceries away that he hadn't even got the fish that he had been planning on cooking for dinner. emGoddamn looks like pizza it is. So much for my health kick./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack felt even more pathetic now than before. He grabbed the phone ordering instead Chinese food because in his depressed idled mind that somehow equated to healthier than Pizza. No sooner that he got off the phone with his favorite joint Chifan Di Difang, upon looking it up in Chinese it meant place to eat. Half the reason why he kept going there. They knew him by name and even more depressing, his order. No sooner did his hang up his phone did it ring again. He quickly picked it up his heart beat skyrocketing. It was D it had to be./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Hey D-" He started as he opened his cellphone before he realized that he had made a fatal mistake of hopeful thinking. The screen said it was Gloria, no doubt trying to get him to the go to the bookstore New Year's Party that Jack had conveniently laid low on./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Oh, is that the name of the mystery person who conveniently got a hold of our newest bookseller." She cooed to the point that it was nauseating./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"No, it's the name of the take out place I just ordered." Jack said sounding a little defensive as he sat up from his spot on his couch./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Anyways," She said dismissively like she would find out who it was eventually. The thought formed a pit in his stomach. "I'm coming to pick you up to go to the party." She said firmly. Jack's back straightened. emOh God no!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"You don't really have to do that, I'm fine. I'm just going to watch the ball drop and probably head to bed. I have somethings that I need to do." Jack said quickly./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Oh no you don't, you got out of Christmas, and Halloween. Geoff is going to be so upset that he missed you." She said the pout was audible over the phone. He shook his head imagining her black lips forming the large pout./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"I'm fine really Gloria, I…I'll just bring the party down." He said. "Plus I just ordered food and I have some friends coming over," He lied "I can't just leave them high and dry."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"I have half the mind just to come and pick you up anyways." She said which made him smile a little even though his eyes were starting to sting with tears./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Thanks, but I'll be fine." He said once again before he said good bye and slumped onto the /emDamn it D, why couldn't you be here? Because he's out there for you. So stop being so damn selfish and suck it up. He would want you to be happy. Fuck happy! I want him./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /There was a knock on the door that startled him. A soft quiet knock as if not to disturb the other neighbors. He got up slowly. There had been no signs that he would be here that he could think of. Immediately his mind started racing, the dull throb in his hip burned a little more, a warning. He grabbed the gun that he had by the door. The glock that D had given him, he couldn't be to cautious right. He peaked through the peephole through the door, but it was to dark to see anything, and he couldn't turn on the light on his porch because that would alert anyone that someone was inside./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emWho would of thought that you would be able to think like this so easily. D taught you well. God if he caught you feeling all warm and fuzzy in a situation like he'd smack you. /em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He opened the door slowly only an inch, through the moonlight that started to appear out of the clouds, he could see a small package with his address on it and no returning one. He quickly searched for anybody. It could have been Churchill, or more plausible, Megan, but a small hope sprung up that he would see a tall lean figure wearing a black t-shirt and a black leather jacket who would be slinking out of the complex. He grabbed the package setting the gun down where he kept it closing and locked the door./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /The package was small, the size of his forearm. It was light though, he shook it a little. He set it on the coffee table in his living room. He grabbed a beer keenly aware of the ginger ale that he wasn't going to ever drink sitting next to it. He opened the beer swallowing half of it in a swallow. He needed something stronger./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emGod if only you could see how pathetic you're being. Fuck it I don't care! Let me be pathetic don't you think that I deserve it?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He opened the cabinet to the left of the refrigerator where he kept the whiskey that he liked. He didn't want to think about the fact that it was the same brand as before. With that he made his way to the living room couch sitting down on it with a /There was no way that he was going to be able to watch the new year's celebration. Not without thinking that there was someone special that he was missingem. Is D watching? Are you kidding me, He's probably not even thinking about the fact that it was New Year's./em He looked up at the ceiling closing his eyes./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""3…2…1…!" The crowd cheered to the abyssal black motel room a bathroom light left on from a shower that D felt hadn't worked at all. He raised his bottle of whiskey./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Happy New Year's Doc….I miss you." He whispered as he took another large swig feeling the familiar burn of the alcohol wishing that his drunken stupor would finally make him pass out. He looked up at the ceiling trying to imagine what exactly Jack would be doing right about now./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emProbably partyin' somewhere smilin', laughin', havin' a good time without your sorry ass./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He shook the thought out of his head taking another large swallow./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emCome on damnit! Get drunk already!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He didn't care if he sounded stupid or pathetic. He was, he knew that there was absolutely no reason for him to be this way. This had been his idea, he couldn't stop. He wouldn't, not until Jack could go back to doing what he was supposed to be doing, fixing people./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emYou wish that he could fix ya dontcha? You're too damn fucked up, there is no savin' your sorry ass. Doesn't matter once your done he can go back to being Doc Francisco, fixin' little girls faces. Wonder if he got my package, hope it came on time. Hope he likes it./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /D had no idea what you would get someone on New Year's did you even give gifts? Whatever it was, he saw it and thought of Jack. He was half way through the bottle of Jack Daniels. Damn I'm turning into an alcoholic./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emFuck it you deserve this, you're currently god only knows how far away from the one person you actually care about! Drink until you cain't fucking see straight./embr /And so, he did. Finally stripping down naked and flopping onto his bed hoping the next morning would come sooner./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hewwo? Mr. Davies!" Came the distinctive Chinese accent of the delivery boy who always brought him his food. The fact that he knew him by name now renew the strike of depression over his already extremely depressed chest. He opened the door smiling at him slowly, although the way the kid's eyes widened made him keenly aware that he probably looked horribly drunk. He handed the kid the money in exchange for the bag of food that he ordered muttering to keep the change./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He closed the door to his "temporary-housing chic" kitchen setting the bag down amongst the others filled with the non-perishable items from the earlier failed attempt at grocery shopping./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He eyed the package as he sat down on the floor so his knees were up to his chest as he slowly ate his Cho mein. Chifan Difang was probably the best Chinese food in he had in a long time, but right now it just tasted like dirt./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He had to know what was in the box. He just had to. emWhat if it's from D? Yeah, well what if it's from Megan? Or what if it was from the Dominguez brothers and it was D's hand or head or something? Ok you really need to cool it on them mafia movies. Dumbass/em. He shook his head as he chuckled a little at the thought, that was just how D would have said it to. He grabbed the box ripping it open. There wasn't any blood so that was a good sign, right?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He steeled his nerves before he pulled the packaging aside. In it was a single slip of paper on top another package. On it was typed block letters almost like from a typewriter./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emGot this for you, I think you know who it is from. He's doing fine, and I'll tell him the same about you. He says Happy New Year's I'll pass the message on./embr /em-X/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He swallowed the lump in his throat as he picked up the small package. This was from D, and he was alright. A part of him was mad that Megan hadn't stopped by to spend the night with him, just so he could have someone who understood him better be with him, but he knew she couldn't do that. He knew that she should be watching D instead anyways, it would certainly make him sleep better at /Jack couldn't breathe nor think as he opens the box. He wondered what could possibly be inside, what could D have got for him? He ripped the tape open pulling the lid off. Inside was a smaller piece of paper equally is neat but this time handwritten. It was from D./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emJack,/embr /emI'm sorry it's takin' so long. I miss you more than words can explain. But you know I've always been bad with words./embr /emI'm almost done but I still have some things that I gotta do. I hope you're doin' alright wherever the hell you are, Meg says that you made it through the holiday. I'm glad she's lookin' out for you./embr /emHappy New Year, let's hope this one goes better than last year yeah? I don't think anyone want to go through that again. I know sure as hell I don't want to. It feels so weird bein' without ya. I wish I could be there right now holding you. To tell you that everythin's okay, but I don't know that. Doesn't feel that long ago that I was writing the letter for you Christmas eve. There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret not staying. I wish that I had the strength that you do./embr /emFound this while I was passen through a town. I hope you like it, was a son of a bitch to pack. Had to make sure it wouldn't break on ya. I don't know if you remember this,but I thought it was funnier than hell. Hope you enjoy it doc. I know it doesn't make up for the fact that I'm not there./embr /emI miss you Jack so much. I meant what I said in the last letter. Every dark-haired cute man I see, I don't see their faces, I see yours. Startin' to drive me crazy. I just want to get this done and over with so I can see you so I can take you in my arms and never let go. Hopefully that's soon I just got one more to do. I know you have no idea what that means. But I'm sure you'll get it out of me anyways, that seems to be a super power of yours, an annoying one but still one. I'll see you around. I'll make sure to keep Megan updated./embr /emI miss you/embr /emI still got things to say, but that's still not going in a damn letter. Which I just realized is so fucking long. sorry. I'm staying alive just so I can tell you. Still kept your promise, no one's dead I make sure of it. I hope you're not mad that I'm not there it was hard not to come after you. Just a little while longer and I'll be there./embr /emD/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /Jack close the letter before he could ruin it with his tears. D was alright, D was safe that was all that mattered all that Jack cared about. He pulled back the tissue paper and the bubble wrap and nearly dropped what was in the box. He turned it over his hands and tried to suppress a tearful chuckle. It was a coffee cup but not just any coffee cup. On it from em2001: A Space Odyssey. "Open the door HAL"/em followed underneath item "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave"./em When he first met D he had compared him to the Cyclopean eye. When Jack still called him Hal, back before he knew his name, back before he knew who he was when he still Jack still consider D just a machine hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses. Jack couldn't believe that D would remembered something so trivial and so brief. It was an odd gift but D was an odd person and the thought that he saw it and thought of Jack and even packed it to give to him meant the world to Jack./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /He could almost imagine the cursing has he taped the bubble wrap and tissue paper to the coffee mug probably using too much tape. He wondered if maybe Megan helped him but the note said nothing of the sort. He folded it up gently creasing it. He would put the letter next to the other one, on his bedside table so he could read it whenever he felt too lonely, too pathetic. He set the coffee mug on the table next to the food now cold and untouched. He wasn't very hungry./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /Instead he fell on the ground looking up at the TV, next to it was a clock on the wall it read 11:45 p.m. . He grabbed the mug holding it softly, gently like he was afraid that he would crush it like an egg. With the other hand he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He felt stupid, the way he was thinking about the mug, emthis is something that D had held not too long ago. Judging by the letter Megan must have come straight afterwards. Or maybe D was just closed maybe D was just right around the corner and didn't know it, well maybe did know it but couldn't face the fact that he couldn't be with him until all of this was done./em Jack grabbed the bottle of whiskey and taking another swish them wiped his eyes. The minutes drag by painfully slow, every few minutes Jack take another swig when his throat got dry and as his eyes started to water he held the mug up close to his chest but still gently. It hadn't even occurred to him how much time has passed until he started to hear./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /" three… two… one… Happy New Year!" All of New York City cheered as the confetti feel onto the ground. He turned off the TV getting up staggering back to his bed, setting the mug on the bedside table before flopping on the bed. He curled into a ball looking up at the moon./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /"Happy New Year D, I love you…" he murmured before passing out./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack was being pathetic, he knew he was being pathetic, but he couldn't help being so completely and utterly pathetic as he looked at the chocolate covered cherries with a look so depressed and miserable he was sure the sky was getting grayer the longer he looked at them. He muttered a curse under his breath shaking his head as he turned away from the sweets aisle. His hand ran to his hip the pain was still there, a dull throb right above his hipbone. He still couldn't believe all of this had happened. He knew his life was crazy but the events that had unfolded he would never imagined would be his. The nightmares of those men killing Maria coming after him; instead, were filled with Josie shooting him in the stomach. He shook his head. emFucking nightmare is what that was./em Certainly not what he was expecting when he was being dragged out of his house in Las Vegas./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Somehow though, this had all felt like a dream. He knew after his blow up with Megan that D and he would have to have a serious talk. A lump formed in his throat. emWhat if he doesn't come back? What if he leaves you?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He shook his head and steeled himself as he started walking briskly down the coffee aisle. emThat's not going to happen, D promised he'd find me. He promised that he would come back. That letter proves it./embr /emYeah. /ememBut it also showed that he was terrified of seeing you again if the job wasn't finished./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emI wish he would tell me what he's doing. He could be hurt right now, shot again, hiding in a fucking cave./embr /emDon't be ridiculous the only reason he got shot was because of you./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He walked down the aisle looking at the various coffee that were on the white shelves. He grabbed one without thinking eager to get back to his apartment where he could just put on his pajamas and forget about the chocolates, the world, the pain in his side, the pain in his chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /There was a reason he hadn't gotten more drugs from the hospital. Not saying that Jack was desperate but there was a large fear that he could become dependent on the pain killers because of their effects they had of making Jack forget the pain. Forget everything, yet make everything a million times worse./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He was walking up the next set of shelves when he stopped short seeing the ginger ale. That lump came back as he walked past it before he turned around grabbing them. emWhat the hell it's not like he's going to be around the corner and cock his damn eyebrow at you with his dumbass look on his face./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He strolled slowly to the cashier shoving some cash at him as he felt tears well up into his eyes. emDamn D why is this taking so long./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack had hurriedly returned to his apartment not even bothering to turn on the light before he had realized as he put the groceries away that he hadn't even got the fish that he had been planning on cooking for dinner. emGoddamn looks like pizza it is. So much for my health kick./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /Jack felt even more pathetic now than before. He grabbed the phone ordering instead Chinese food because in his depressed idled mind that somehow equated to healthier than Pizza. No sooner that he got off the phone with his favorite joint Chifan Di Difang, upon looking it up in Chinese it meant place to eat. Half the reason why he kept going there. They knew him by name and even more depressing, his order. No sooner did his hang up his phone did it ring again. He quickly picked it up his heart beat skyrocketing. It was D it had to be./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Hey D-" He started as he opened his cellphone before he realized that he had made a fatal mistake of hopeful thinking. The screen said it was Gloria, no doubt trying to get him to the go to the bookstore New Year's Party that Jack had conveniently laid low on./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Oh, is that the name of the mystery person who conveniently got a hold of our newest bookseller." She cooed to the point that it was nauseating./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"No, it's the name of the take out place I just ordered." Jack said sounding a little defensive as he sat up from his spot on his couch./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Anyways," She said dismissively like she would find out who it was eventually. The thought formed a pit in his stomach. "I'm coming to pick you up to go to the party." She said firmly. Jack's back straightened. emOh God no!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"You don't really have to do that, I'm fine. I'm just going to watch the ball drop and probably head to bed. I have somethings that I need to do." Jack said quickly./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Oh no you don't, you got out of Christmas, and Halloween. Geoff is going to be so upset that he missed you." She said the pout was audible over the phone. He shook his head imagining her black lips forming the large pout./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"I'm fine really Gloria, I…I'll just bring the party down." He said. "Plus I just ordered food and I have some friends coming over," He lied "I can't just leave them high and dry."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"I have half the mind just to come and pick you up anyways." She said which made him smile a little even though his eyes were starting to sting with tears./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Thanks, but I'll be fine." He said once again before he said good bye and slumped onto the /emDamn it D, why couldn't you be here? Because he's out there for you. So stop being so damn selfish and suck it up. He would want you to be happy. Fuck happy! I want him./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /There was a knock on the door that startled him. A soft quiet knock as if not to disturb the other neighbors. He got up slowly. There had been no signs that he would be here that he could think of. Immediately his mind started racing, the dull throb in his hip burned a little more, a warning. He grabbed the gun that he had by the door. The glock that D had given him, he couldn't be to cautious right. He peaked through the peephole through the door, but it was to dark to see anything, and he couldn't turn on the light on his porch because that would alert anyone that someone was inside./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emWho would of thought that you would be able to think like this so easily. D taught you well. God if he caught you feeling all warm and fuzzy in a situation like he'd smack you. /em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He opened the door slowly only an inch, through the moonlight that started to appear out of the clouds, he could see a small package with his address on it and no returning one. He quickly searched for anybody. It could have been Churchill, or more plausible, Megan, but a small hope sprung up that he would see a tall lean figure wearing a black t-shirt and a black leather jacket who would be slinking out of the complex. He grabbed the package setting the gun down where he kept it closing and locked the door./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /The package was small, the size of his forearm. It was light though, he shook it a little. He set it on the coffee table in his living room. He grabbed a beer keenly aware of the ginger ale that he wasn't going to ever drink sitting next to it. He opened the beer swallowing half of it in a swallow. He needed something stronger./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emGod if only you could see how pathetic you're being. Fuck it I don't care! Let me be pathetic don't you think that I deserve it?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He opened the cabinet to the left of the refrigerator where he kept the whiskey that he liked. He didn't want to think about the fact that it was the same brand as before. With that he made his way to the living room couch sitting down on it with a /There was no way that he was going to be able to watch the new year's celebration. Not without thinking that there was someone special that he was missingem. Is D watching? Are you kidding me, He's probably not even thinking about the fact that it was New Year's./em He looked up at the ceiling closing his eyes./p
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""3…2…1…!" The crowd cheered to the abyssal black motel room a bathroom light left on from a shower that D felt hadn't worked at all. He raised his bottle of whiskey./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /"Happy New Year's Doc….I miss you." He whispered as he took another large swig feeling the familiar burn of the alcohol wishing that his drunken stupor would finally make him pass out. He looked up at the ceiling trying to imagine what exactly Jack would be doing right about now./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emProbably partyin' somewhere smilin', laughin', havin' a good time without your sorry ass./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He shook the thought out of his head taking another large swallow./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emCome on damnit! Get drunk already!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He didn't care if he sounded stupid or pathetic. He was, he knew that there was absolutely no reason for him to be this way. This had been his idea, he couldn't stop. He wouldn't, not until Jack could go back to doing what he was supposed to be doing, fixing people./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emYou wish that he could fix ya dontcha? You're too damn fucked up, there is no savin' your sorry ass. Doesn't matter once your done he can go back to being Doc Francisco, fixin' little girls faces. Wonder if he got my package, hope it came on time. Hope he likes it./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /D had no idea what you would get someone on New Year's did you even give gifts? Whatever it was, he saw it and thought of Jack. He was half way through the bottle of Jack Daniels. Damn I'm turning into an alcoholic./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emFuck it you deserve this, you're currently god only knows how far away from the one person you actually care about! Drink until you cain't fucking see straight./embr /And so, he did. Finally stripping down naked and flopping onto his bed hoping the next morning would come sooner./p
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hewwo? Mr. Davies!" Came the distinctive Chinese accent of the delivery boy who always brought him his food. The fact that he knew him by name now renew the strike of depression over his already extremely depressed chest. He opened the door smiling at him slowly, although the way the kid's eyes widened made him keenly aware that he probably looked horribly drunk. He handed the kid the money in exchange for the bag of food that he ordered muttering to keep the change./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He closed the door to his "temporary-housing chic" kitchen setting the bag down amongst the others filled with the non-perishable items from the earlier failed attempt at grocery shopping./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He eyed the package as he sat down on the floor so his knees were up to his chest as he slowly ate his Cho mein. Chifan Difang was probably the best Chinese food in he had in a long time, but right now it just tasted like dirt./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He had to know what was in the box. He just had to. emWhat if it's from D? Yeah, well what if it's from Megan? Or what if it was from the Dominguez brothers and it was D's hand or head or something? Ok you really need to cool it on them mafia movies. Dumbass/em. He shook his head as he chuckled a little at the thought, that was just how D would have said it to. He grabbed the box ripping it open. There wasn't any blood so that was a good sign, right?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He steeled his nerves before he pulled the packaging aside. In it was a single slip of paper on top another package. On it was typed block letters almost like from a typewriter./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emGot this for you, I think you know who it is from. He's doing fine, and I'll tell him the same about you. He says Happy New Year's I'll pass the message on./embr /em-X/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /He swallowed the lump in his throat as he picked up the small package. This was from D, and he was alright. A part of him was mad that Megan hadn't stopped by to spend the night with him, just so he could have someone who understood him better be with him, but he knew she couldn't do that. He knew that she should be watching D instead anyways, it would certainly make him sleep better at /Jack couldn't breathe nor think as he opens the box. He wondered what could possibly be inside, what could D have got for him? He ripped the tape open pulling the lid off. Inside was a smaller piece of paper equally is neat but this time handwritten. It was from D./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"br /emJack,/embr /emI'm sorry it's takin' so long. I miss you more than words can explain. But you know I've always been bad with words./embr /emI'm almost done but I still have some things that I gotta do. I hope you're doin' alright wherever the hell you are, Meg says that you made it through the holiday. I'm glad she's lookin' out for you./embr /emHappy New Year, let's hope this one goes better than last year yeah? I don't think anyone want to go through that again. I know sure as hell I don't want to. It feels so weird bein' without ya. I wish I could be there right now holding you. To tell you that everythin's okay, but I don't know that. Doesn't feel that long ago that I was writing the letter for you Christmas eve. There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret not staying. I wish that I had the strength that you do./embr /emFound this while I was passen through a town. I hope you like it, was a son of a bitch to pack. Had to make sure it wouldn't break on ya. I don't know if you remember this,but I thought it was funnier than hell. Hope you enjoy it doc. I know it doesn't make up for the fact that I'm not there./embr /emI miss you Jack so much. I meant what I said in the last letter. Every dark-haired cute man I see, I don't see their faces, I see yours. Startin' to drive me crazy. I just want to get this done and over with so I can see you so I can take you in my arms and never let go. Hopefully that's soon I just got one more to do. I know you have no idea what that means. But I'm sure you'll get it out of me anyways, that seems to be a super power of yours, an annoying one but still one. I'll see you around. I'll make sure to keep Megan updated./embr /emI miss you/embr /emI still got things to say, but that's still not going in a damn letter. Which I just realized is so fucking long. sorry. I'm staying alive just so I can tell you. Still kept your promise, no one's dead I make sure of it. I hope you're not mad that I'm not there it was hard not to come after you. Just a little while longer and I'll be there./embr /emD/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /Jack close the letter before he could ruin it with his tears. D was alright, D was safe that was all that mattered all that Jack cared about. He pulled back the tissue paper and the bubble wrap and nearly dropped what was in the box. He turned it over his hands and tried to suppress a tearful chuckle. It was a coffee cup but not just any coffee cup. On it from em2001: A Space Odyssey. "Open the door HAL"/em followed underneath item "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave"./em When he first met D he had compared him to the Cyclopean eye. When Jack still called him Hal, back before he knew his name, back before he knew who he was when he still Jack still consider D just a machine hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses. Jack couldn't believe that D would remembered something so trivial and so brief. It was an odd gift but D was an odd person and the thought that he saw it and thought of Jack and even packed it to give to him meant the world to Jack./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /He could almost imagine the cursing has he taped the bubble wrap and tissue paper to the coffee mug probably using too much tape. He wondered if maybe Megan helped him but the note said nothing of the sort. He folded it up gently creasing it. He would put the letter next to the other one, on his bedside table so he could read it whenever he felt too lonely, too pathetic. He set the coffee mug on the table next to the food now cold and untouched. He wasn't very hungry./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /Instead he fell on the ground looking up at the TV, next to it was a clock on the wall it read 11:45 p.m. . He grabbed the mug holding it softly, gently like he was afraid that he would crush it like an egg. With the other hand he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He felt stupid, the way he was thinking about the mug, emthis is something that D had held not too long ago. Judging by the letter Megan must have come straight afterwards. Or maybe D was just closed maybe D was just right around the corner and didn't know it, well maybe did know it but couldn't face the fact that he couldn't be with him until all of this was done./em Jack grabbed the bottle of whiskey and taking another swish them wiped his eyes. The minutes drag by painfully slow, every few minutes Jack take another swig when his throat got dry and as his eyes started to water he held the mug up close to his chest but still gently. It hadn't even occurred to him how much time has passed until he started to hear./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /" three… two… one… Happy New Year!" All of New York City cheered as the confetti feel onto the ground. He turned off the TV getting up staggering back to his bed, setting the mug on the bedside table before flopping on the bed. He curled into a ball looking up at the moon./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"br /"Happy New Year D, I love you…" he murmured before passing out./p