For Dave_ck, who simply requested a fic to break his heart.
Takes place between Chapters 20 and 21 of Days of Summer.
It takes everything he has inside of him not to pick up the phone and call her. The edge in her voice when he asked her about it, it echoes in his head, rings like an alarm that won't quit.
He tries to stay busy all day because he trusts her, he does, and she deserves more than a worried, desperate phone call from him because he can't seem to quiet his mind.
"You okay, Dad? You've been quiet all morning," Alexis observes as she clicks her seatbelt into place.
He rests his hands against the steering wall, sighs a little as he forces a small smile for her.
"Just a little worried about Kate, pumpkin." He ruffles her hair with his hand, brushes his fingers across her cheeks before sliding his hand back to its spot.
Alexis tilts her head. "Is she okay?"
He hesitates, isn't sure he should be the one to explain it to her. But it took Kate days to tell him and even then it was only because she was forced to explain after her father's incident. He can't imagine that she'll be ready to go into the details again so soon.
"Today's a bit of a rough day for Kate. It's her mother's birthday." He pauses for a second, long enough to catch the puzzled expression on Alexis' face. "Kate's mother passed away, sweetie. A few years ago."
Alexis's face falls a little. "Oh."
"She's going to be okay. She's just a little sad."
"Maybe I should stay home today, Dad. Does Kate need us?" Alexis asks quietly, eyes bright and worried.
Oh.
"She's spending the day with her dad. Maybe we can see her tomorrow, okay?"
She nods reluctantly. "Okay."
"Kate's a strong girl, Alexis. She'll be all right."
Yeah, he wishes he could make himself believe that.
He leans over and brushes a kiss across her forehead before shifting the car into gear and slipping out of the driveway.
When he arrives back home, he pulls out his laptop, tries to write a chapter of his new novel. He can't get comfortable, so he moves to the swing on the deck. But then he remembers last night, the way she was nestled into his body, anxiety rolling off her in waves at the mention of her mother's birthday.
Something wasn't right; she was off—not herself at all. And maybe last night he was willing to let it go, but now it gnaws at him, digs at his insides. His eyes stare into the blank screen in front of him, his heart beating in time with the blinking cursor.
Maybe just one text. That's all he needs. Just one message for his own peace of mind. He won't even ask her to respond, just needs her to know that he's there if she needs him.
He pulls his phone from his pocket before he can talk himself out of it.
Thinking of you today. Call me if you need anything.
He sighs, dropping the phone into his lap after the message sends. He shuts the lid of his laptop; there's no way he's getting any writing done. He shuffles into the house, depositing the computer onto the kitchen table. He pours himself a glass of sweet ice tea and collapses on the living room couch.
Mindless television appears to be the only thing he can handle right now. He flicks on a soap opera, immerses himself in the world of mob hits, hospitals, illegitimate babies, and murder scandals. Confusion overwhelms him and it's almost enough to keep his mind off Kate.
Almost enough.
He drifts off sometime around the second hour and wakes up to the sound of his phone buzzing. He rushes to answer it, fumbling with the tv remote to mute the program.
"Hello?" he asks breathlessly.
"Rick, it's Jim."
Castle lets out a breath, scrubs a hand over his face. It isn't Kate, but it's close.
"Everything okay?" he asks, swinging his legs over the edge of the couch. He pads to the kitchen, wincing as the low sun hits his face through the window.
He hears Jim sigh on the other end. "As good as they can be, I guess." He pauses. "I'm just calling to see what your plans are for the rest of the evening."
Rick frowns. "I, uh, don't know? I just dropped Alexis off at friend's house for the night. I'm just hanging around here." He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he rests his head against the glass of the sliding door. "Trying not to worry about Kate."
"She's not with you, is she?" His tone is calm and smooth, but Castle hears the worry laced underneath.
His heart freezes in his chest. He presses his palm against the door, closes his eyes. "She told me she was spending the day with you," he rasps. "She lied to me." The realization chokes his words in his throat.
"She lied to both of us, Rick. My daughter's very stubborn when she puts her mind to something."
"Should I be worried?"
"I need you to check on her."
Jim doesn't hesitate, doesn't bother to mince words or attempt to assuage Castle's anxiety.
Which is perhaps most worrisome of all.
Castle slips his feet into his shoes and grabs his discarded keys from the counter. "I'm heading over now." He ends the call, his heart sinking deeper into his chest as he flies to the car.
He pounds on the door, the noise reverberating through his head, swimming his senses. A second feels like an eternity and he just can't wait any longer. He twists the doorknob and shoves the door open, doesn't even cringe as he bangs against the wall under his force.
He falls to his knees, tears clouding his vision as he finds her slumped against the wall, motionless. He shoves the empty bottle of bourbon away from her body, grasps her face in his hands.
"Kate." His voice is unrecognizable, dark and rough in his throat. He shakes her a little, threading his hands through her dark brown hair that's plastered to her forehead.
Dear God.
He finds her wrist, presses shaky fingers to her pulse point. Blood stains the tips of her fingers, but it seems to end there.
"Kate, please," he pleads desperately, his hands clutching her, sliding across her body, fisting in her clothes as his mind works in overdrive, unsure of what to do.
Hospital. He's got to get her help if he can't wake her up.
He hastily brushes the tears from his eyes and wraps his hands around her waist, lifting her into his arms. He holds her close to him, cloaking her in his warmth.
"Cas…"
His eyes snap to her face, sure that he's imagined her voice. But then she mumbles it again, slow and slurred. "Cas…"
He lets out a sob of relief, buries his face in the crook of her neck as he carries her out of the house.
"I've got you, Kate," he whispers. "I've got you."
Finis.
Thoughts?
Also-if anyone's interested, I did a podcast with FanficwriterGHC (interviewed by klindsay). You can find it here: stormingthecastle(dot)podomatic(dot)com/entry/2012-05-16T23_18_50-07_00
Olivia