Color Coded:
We (the family and friends of Hunter Hearst Helmsley) have grown concerned with the situation he gets himself into. They have become extremely hard to type out on a text message when needed in a state of emergency, so we have come up with a simple color coding system to help us asses the problem more affectively.
CODE RED: Hunter has upset Stephanie during "that time of the month".
CODE GREEN: Hunter and Shawn (D-Generation X) have access to marijuana.
CODE BLUE: Hunter is doing inappropriate things to Legend Ric Flair.
CODE WHITE: Hunter is doing inappropriate things in the Women's Locker Room.
CODE BLACK: Hunter is getting touched inappropriately.
CODE PURPLE: Hunter is getting touched inappropriately by a man in a giant Barney suit.
CODE BROWN: Hunter has shit his pants.
CODE YELLOW: Hunter has pissed himself.
CODE ORANGE: Hunter is having "fun" with fruit.
CODE PINK: Hunter has gone shopping with Jeff Hardy.
Whenever faced with one of the aforementioned situations, send out a mass text/IM to everyone who should be concerned for immediate assistance.