I own nothing of the plot or characters from Samurai Deeper Kyo. I do, however, own a reproduction of Yukimura's Hawaiian shirt of kimonos.

Euphemisms

Glaring at the ground, Kirigakure Saizoh considered the length of his shadow. It had been less than a foot long when his commander had gone off to help a distraught young woman locate her lost pig. Now stretching across the roadway, the shadow silently marked Saizoh's growing impatience.

"It couldn't possibly be taking this long," he muttered. "Yukimura-sama, what on earth are you doing?" A rustle in the bushes brought him back, only to reveal itself to be a startled bird taking flight. Saizoh rubbed his nose in frustration and returned to his abandoned task of peering at the horizon. He was beginning to think that he'd been purposely left behind when he caught sight of a small patch of yellow hovering in the stand of trees across the road and down a bit from where he stood. He strained his eyes to see more, trying to identify if the patch was a floral-patterned sleeve or merely a trick of the light. Saizoh had just decided that it was indeed a sleeve when it disappeared.

"I don't believe this--" The ninja shut his eyes against his self-induced headache.

"Saizoh, are you napping standing up?"

Eyes snapped open to see that he'd been right, the patch of yellow had been a floral-patterned sleeve, attached to a floral-patterned kimono mercifully toned down by the darker vest and haori over it. The wearer smiled and Saizoh felt unreasonably forgiving considering his previous annoyance.

"Yukimura-sama, did you find the pig?"

Yukimura blinked. "Pig?" he asked in complete seriousness. "What pig?"

"The girl said she was looking for her pig and you offered to help her. Did you find it?"

"Oh, that pig," the swordsman said, smile returning. "Yes, of course we did. And then we lost it again."

Saizoh was quite sure he didn't want to know how that had happened.

"So did you re-find it?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Nanao-chan left before I did, so she may have re-found it on her own."

"Nanao-chan?" Saizoh repeated warily.

Yukimura's smile broadened. "The girl. Her name is Nanao, she's eighteen years old, and she has the most delightful--"

"I don't want to know."

"Hair, Saizoh. She has the most delightful hair." Yukimura sighed dramatically and reproachfully. "And you may take that as you will, since I know you think the worst of me."

Saizoh blushed. "Not of you yourself, Yukimura-sama. Just-- your interactions with women-- It's to be expected--"

"-- Although her hair was nice, her breasts were very soft and round. The perfect shape, really. I wonder if Kosuke's breasts are that soft--"

"Y-Yukimura-sama!" Saizoh spluttered. "How very inappropriate!"

The swordsman chuckled. "I'm only kidding, Saizoh. Nanao-chan is nothing like Kosuke. That's why I like her."

"Which one?"

"Both of them! Nanao-chan because she has lovely huggable breasts, and Kosuke because she's just as beautiful as I am."

This was not the slightest bit reassuring to poor Saizoh.

"But you wouldn't-- do anything-- not with Kosuke--" he continued to splutter awkwardly. "Would you?"

"Of course not. She's one of the Juuyuushi, so for me to be involved with her physically would be playing favourites. Not that I don't love you all, but I certainly wouldn't feel right about bedding Sasuke, for instance. I'm his guardian, among other issues."

And what about me? Saizoh wanted to ask, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"No, better for me to stick with the Nanao-chans," Yukimura continued. "Besides, she certainly seemed to appreciate the help. Perhaps I should go looking for livestock more often."