A/N: Alright, let's get the typical disclaimer out of the way...as usual, I own nothing. Though that doesn't stop me from hoping. I mean honestly, I wouldn't be picky, I'd take either of the three...hint, hint WWE ;)
Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading ;)
Seth learned the hard way.
A person can only fully comprehend the ramifications of the easily extolled cliché, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone," only after suffering a true loss. Worse though, than simply losing something you never knew you cared so much about, is knowing you have no one to blame but yourself...
The night he'd turned on Dean and Roman, the night he'd stabbed his brothers in the back, Seth had felt a power high like none he'd ever experienced before. He'd felt on top of the world, finally rid of two men he thought were only dragging him down. He felt a new sense of freedom, now that he didn't have to spend so much time predicting the antics of a lunatic. He no longer bore the burden that came with mitigating the damages that the wild blond couldn't seem to help but cause. He also didn't have to keep a certain dark-haired volcano, with a self proclaimed "hairpin trigger," constantly calm, cool, and collected either. Best of all, he no longer had to occupy the role of peacekeeper, a role which constantly drained more of his energy than any match ever could. He was once again on his own, and now, without constant distraction, he could finally focus on himself and his inevitable future success; everything now seemed to be aligning for his accent to the top of the WWE.
However, his accent was hitting a few snags, and Seth couldn't figure out why. He seemed to be having more problems than ever getting to events on time, for instance. Not to mention the continual probing by management into whether he was getting enough sleep or not; they couldn't have their newest star sleep deprived, they'd claimed when he shot the inquirers annoyed looks. Seth had never been so out-of-wack for so long; it had been a few weeks, and he seemed to be making no progress in getting himself back on track.
Little did he know that it had been Roman's near obsession with being on time that had guided Seth from one event to the next. Seth had no idea that Dean's annoying twitching and snoring, had actually served as a type lullaby every night. For all the things that Seth had done to keep Roman and Dean sane and in control, he had no idea of the little things his brothers had done to take care of him in return. He didn't even realize the safety and feeling of home that Dean and Roman brought to any hotel room. He had no idea how much he'd miss the entertainment of Dean's sleep-talking in the backseat while he drove. Nor the kindness of Roman in the passenger seat, humming quietly, so as not to disturb Dean, but so as not to leave Seth driving in silence either; both Dean and Roman knew how much Seth hated silence. They knew how Seth's mind was the loudest with self-doubt and criticism when silence befell it. But now, when he was in the car by himself, no matter how loud the volume went, he couldn't drown out the loneliness of the trip. In hotel rooms, he found that no matter how high he turned up the television, he couldn't get the voices to quiet down long enough to give him a moment's rest.
Everything was the absolute worst when he laid in his hotel bed at night, the room completely and utterly dark and quiet. It was then that Seth couldn't escape his ultimate temptation, when the urge called out loudest to him in the silence. It was at this time, every night, that Seth's true torture began.
"You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone", Seth reflected, his face illuminated in the dark hotel room, as he again, read Dean's final, cryptic text message from the night Seth had destroyed their brotherhood; he'd lost count of how many times he'd read that message, his stomach feeling sick each and every time. Inevitably after he'd read the text message, he'd scroll between Dean and Roman's numbers for what felt like hours before flinging the phone against the wall out of frustration; he'd never know the words to say to make everything right again...he didn't know how to get his brothers back when he truly needed them.
It'd taken time to realize, but now he knew, without a doubt, that the thing he'd lost with his brothers was his peace. Where at one time, his brothers had stood by his side, now only his own demons resided, and Seth knew he only had himself to blame, which only made matters that much worse.