I disown everything and the songs.
Me: Hello everyone! Now with my mixture of music on the line and me typing a bunch of others fanfictions I decided since its December, there will be Christmas Tunes!
Toushiro: Oh god... we already got tortured by C. Queen...
Me: So?
Ichigo: We can kill you.
Me: … Meanies. Anyway! Everyone call me Hitsuki-chan because I don't feel like typing my full name.
Nemu: What song are you thinking first?
Hitsuki-chan: I was thinking 12 days of Christmas but let me tell you all about someone's b-day thats coming up. Well two people's... Someone's already past.
Momo: Who's?
Hitsuki-chan: Isshin's was the 10th, Toushiro's is in 7 days aka the 20th and Ukitake's is after that aka the 21st.
Shunsei: How do you know this stuff?
Nemu: Because in her world, there's these things called 'otaku's' and they search up anything about their favorite anime's. Also, they have this thing called the 'internet' and they can type up anything about ther favorite anime's. We are part of a anime. We are called BLEACH for some unknown reason. Plus, Hitsuki-san can type faster with music than anyone.
Hitsuki-chan: Nicely described Nemu-chan!
Momo: So if we're part of a anime, anybody can see us?
Nemu: Yes and including a lot of people, they 'cosplay' as us. Simply put, everyone loves dressing up as Captain Hitsugaya more than anyone else. There's so many pictures, you can make a book.
Toushiro: Thats stupid.
Hitsuki-chan: Now I know who's going first. -hits a button and Momo and Toushiro appear on stage. Momo in a sexy red dress with fuzz on on the top and bottom. Toushiro is in white suit- Now they'll sing, Jingle Bell Rock!
[ Toushiro's in bold Momo's regular both underlined ]
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
Jingle Bells swing and Jingle Bells ring
Snowing, and blowing up bushels of fun
Now the Jingle hop has begun
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
Jingle Bells chime in Jingle Bell time
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle Bell time is a swell time
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a mingle to a jinglin' beat
That's the Jingle Bell rock
(Jing rock, jing rock, yeah, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock)
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
Jingle Bells chime in Jingle Bell time
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air
What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle Bell time is a swell time
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a mingle to a jinglin' beat
That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell rock
The jingle bell rock
That's the jingle bell rock (Yeah)
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
How's that for a Christmas song?
[pushed Button and their back in their seats]
Toushiro: That was humilating
Momo: I loved it!
Ukitake: I thought it was cute!
Hitsuki-chan: I thought it was adorable! They so belong together!
Ichigo: I say... this is stupid.
All Guys: Big Time!
Hitsuki-chan: I say Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia sing their version of Mr. Grinch...
Rukia: I agree!
Matsumoto: Whats the Grinch?
Nemu: A Children's Movie of 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. He's mean, cruel, and hates Christmas. Lets just say he's like Aizen but the Grinch turns out to be nice while Aizen will not.
Hitsuki-chan: Well said.
Yachiru: Oooo~
Hitsuki-chan: -pushes a button and Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia are on stage. Rukia in her execution costume, Renji and Ichigo in beat up and ripped soul reaper clothing.- Now their version of The Grinch!
[ Ichigo is bold Renji Italic Rukia is regular both is underlined ]
You're a evil one, Mr. Aizen Sosuke
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Sosuke,
Your heart's a dark hole,
Your brain is full of evil plans, you have the devil in your soul, Mr. Sosuke,
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot stick!
You're a foul one, Mr. Aizen,
You have meaness in your smile,
You have all the sweetness of a espada, Mr. Aizen,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the espada!
You're a rotter, Mr. Sosuke,
You're the king of sins,
Your heart's a dead frog splotched with stank, Mr. Sosuke,
You're a hairy espada with bugs crawling over you!
You nauseate me, Mr. Sosuke,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a crooked dirty king and you drive a crooked chair, Mr. Sosuke,
Your soul is a Mixed Up Mess And A Mixed Up
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!
You're a foul one, Mr. Sosuke,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Sosuke,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!
[ Button Is Pushed and they are returned to their seats ]
Hisuki-chan: Now that wasn't so bad was it?
Ichigo: No... not really.
Aizen: Your just mean.
Toushiro: No, we just don't like you.
Aizen: Because I sent your little girlfriend into a coma...
Eeryone: Oooooooo
Momo: Aizen! Shut the F*ck up!
Everyone: Burrrrrn!
Hitsuki-chan: I say this is getting out of hand...
Ukitake/Shunsei: We agree!
Unohana: How about another song? -smiles-
Momo: Which now? -looks at me-
Hitsuki-chan: I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Kiyone and Isane! Their version!
Everyone besides Nemu: Huh?
Nemu: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is supposed to be about a little boy seeing his mom kiss his dad in a Santa suit underneath the mistletoe. Though he tried everything to get rid of the Santa and also tell his dad but his dad didn't believe him. It was a show on the Disney Channel last year.
Hitsuki: Well said and now -pushed a button and Isane and Kiyone appear on stage. Ukitake and Unohana re in the back, Ukitake in a Santa suit. Isane and Kiyone were in pajama's for little kids.- Now for this song!
[ Isane's is bold Kiyone's is regular both is underlined ]
We saw Unohana kissing Ukitake
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
down the hall to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked
up in my bedroom fast asleep
Then
We saw Unohana tickle Ukitake
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh what a laugh it would have been
If Hitsugaya had only seen
Unohana kissing Ukitake last night
[Button and those four return to their seats]
Hitsuki-chan: Well that was just lovely!
Ukitake: No it wasn't!
Hitsuki-chan: I was being sarcastic!
Nemu: So what song next Hitsuki-san?
Momo: I say no more until Shiro-chan's birthday!
Toushiro: Its Captain Hitsugaya!
Ichigo: Do you ever get tired of saying that?
Toushiro: Do you get tired of hearing it?
Ichigo: Tou-
Renji: No.
Ichigo: But-
Renji: No.
Ichigo: -whispers- Touche
Hitsuki-chan: How about to end this, we have everyone sing Jingle Bells!
Everyone: No!
Nemu: Jingle Bells is a very nice but everyone says no...
Hitsuki-chan: Too bad! Or else I'll make everyone sing Renji the Red Headed Pineapple!
Soi Fon: No we'll sing! We'll sing!
Hitsuki-chan: Good! -presses a button and all captains, vice captains, and 3rd seats, and Hanataro, Rukia, and Ichigo are up there. Girls in same outftit as Momo with first song and Boys are in all red. Everyone has jingle bells-
[ Captains bold Vice Captains Italics Rveryone else regular Everyone underlined ]
Dashing through the snow
On a one-horse open sleigh
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way;
Bells on bob-tail ring
making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side;
The horse was lean and lank;
Misfortune seemed his lot;
He got into a drifted bank
And we
we got upsot
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way!
What fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
A day or two ago
the story I must tell
I went out on the snow
And on my back I fell;
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh
He laughed as there
I sprawling lie
But quickly drove away
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way!
What fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Now the ground is white
Go it while you're young
Take the girls tonight
And sing this sleighing song;
Just get a bob-tailed bay
two-forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! you'll take the lead
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bell!
Jingle all the way!
What fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
[ Button Press and Everyone is Back in their seats ]
Hanataro: That was so weird.
Kiyone: Agreed but Fun!
Momo: That wasn't even humilating.
Isane: Have to agree on that.
Hitsuki-chan: Now now. Please don't fight if you hate me for that song.
Captains: Oh we don't hate you, we despice you!
Hitsuki: -nervous laugh- Well now, this ends the first act as they would say. People review and bye bye!
[ Curtain Falls Down! ]