A Hollow!! Eating Cake

By Sapphire of Autumn/ Tacky76

Disclaimer: I own Bleach. Yes, as in the anime and manga. Totally. -sarcasm-

Notes: This was a random idea that came to me through an email between Tacky and I, so I wrote a fanfic, which he dramatically improved, so he gets atleast half the credits. 'kay?

"And here's your slice of cake, Ichigo."

"I don't like cake."

"EAT!"

"Fine, whatever."

The black haired girl smiled. "Be right back. I'm going to get the piñata and bat for Yuzu's party."

"Mmmffh," he replied with a mouthful of the sugary treat, watching the girl go.

Then—

"Blghglhh…what…what's happenin—"

A beady yellow eye stared out from beneath the bonelike mask. "Must…have…more!!!"

Ichigo protested, "I... didn't... know you ...like cake!"

"Don't lie!" Ichigo's hollow grinned, "I like anything you like."

"Just... don't... tell anyone!"

Rukia picked up the pink baseball bat and pink piñata. Obviously, someone liked pink. Humming to herself, she carried them back to the kitchen. To see—

—a very creepy looking hollow devouring cake in the Kurosaki's kitchen.

For a minute, Rukia just stood there. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. A hollow—an evil spirit that feeds on the living and dead—was eating cake in the kitchen. Cake. As in the fluffy dessert, cake.

Rukia could get over the fact that there was a hollow in their kitchen, or the fact it was very creepy. But she could not get over the fact that it was eating cake covered in pink frosting and red hearts. However, she knew what to do. Right then, as she lifted up Yuzu's pink bat and brought it down, the hollow was the piñata.

"Mayuri-sama, we have an incoming specimen."

"From?"

"Kuchiki Rukia, sir."

"Hmmm? What is she sending?"

"A hollow that was discovered consuming cake in Kurosaki Ichigo's kitchen."

"Eating cake, you say? How interesting. "Is it gay?"

"Pardon?" Nemu asked.

"Homosexual?"

"I highly doubt that will make a difference, Mayuri-sama."

"It might." Mayuri stroked his chin, thinking.

"You've experimented to find the difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals before to no avail."

"But not a gay Hollow."

"True." Nemu weighed the statistical data, "But you've experimented on George Michael, Freddy Mercury and even that Michael Jackson fellow..."

"His skin did turn white!"

"Allergic reaction. We discovered it had nothing to do with his gayness, Mayuri-sama."

"Still, there was something weird about that man."

"Yes."

"And we've never had a gay Hollow before."

"True."

"This one will be fun to examine."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama."

"So Nemu," the twelfth division scientist turned to look at his daughter. "What will it be first-dissection or chemical reaction?"

"Whatever you wish."

Mayuri smirked evilly, his mind plotting an extra hundred or so experiments to factor against the supposed gayness of the Hollow. "Oh, by the way Nemu..."

"Yes? Mayuri-sama..."

"Please paint the lab pink for me."

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