Bad Ideas Gone Wrong Productions Presents
Womanly
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Geoduck
Though hope sprang eternal in her maternal breast, Nodoka Saotome still found it frustrating that once again, the quest to see her husband—and especially, son—would be fruitless.
"Oh my!" Kasumi was distressed. "It was just this morning that..."
"...They left on a journey to practice and refine their martial arts in the remote wilderness?" Nodoka asked with resignation.
"Yes, I think Mr. Saotome said some words to that effect."
Nodoka sighed. "I thought they might be. Oh, Kasumi-chan, this is almost vexing. I sometimes get the feeling as though my husband and son are engaging in an elaborate deception to ensure, for some unfathomable reason," she unconsciously hefted her wrapped katana, "that we never meet."
Kasumi thought for a moment on what the best response to this might be, and how she might most easily change the subject.
"Where... the hell... am I now?"
"Ah, that will do nicely," Kasumi thought aloud.
"Hmm? What do you mean, Kasumi-chan?"
"I just meant to say, 'Oh my, it sounds like Ryoga-kun is here.' Just a second, and I'll go get him." She wiped her hands on her apron and left the kitchen for a moment, soon returning with the typically weather-beaten wandering martial artist.
"So, uh, Akane-san isn't at home?" he tentatively asked Kasumi.
"No, she's still at school, I'm afraid."
Curious about the newcomer, Nodoka spoke: "Kasumi-chan, is this a friend of yours?"
"Oh dear, yes he is. Ryoga-kun is a frequent visitor here. He always brings back souvenirs from his travels.
Just now noticing the unfamiliar person in the kitchen, Ryoga bowed to her. "Ryoga Hibiki. Pleased to meet you."
Nodoka returned the gesture. "Nodoka Saotome. Tell me, Hibiki-san, do you know my son Ranma?"
That simple question left Ryoga at a loss. Sure, he though Ranma was a major-league jerk, but saying that to his mom just would not be cool. "Uh... yeah, I know him."
Kasumi offered more details: "Ryoga-kun is Ranma-kun's best friend and worst enemy."
While Ryoga was not entirely happy with this description, he was damned if he could find anything inaccurate about it.
"Ah, so you're Ranma's rival, then." She regarded him with a cool expression, then smiled. "Yes, I think you'll do."
Ryoga, who had the feeling he had just passed a test he wasn't sure he wanted to take, put his hand behind his neck. "Uh, thank you?" Then remembering one of the principal reasons for his being there, he turned to Kasumi. "Ah, Kasumi-san, if I could impose..."
"Certainly, you can use the bath."
Bowing slightly, and with a tub of bath supplies on the crook of his arm that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, Ryoga left the room.
"Kasumi-chan, this Hibiki boy... would you say that he is... manly?"
"Oh my.. well, from what I have seen, I believe he is very strong. And he alwys seems like a very polite boy."
Nodoka sat for a few moments in silence, tapping her chin in thought.
"Oh, Auntie, let me refill your cup." Kasumi picked up Nodoka's teacup and carefully poured from the pot sitting on the kitchen counter. As she turned to return the cup, she saw she was now alone in the kitchen. "Auntie? Are you still here?" And inevitably, "Oh my!"
Ryoga carefully but quickly soaped up, cleaning off the dust of the road. Truthfully, in many ways, he enjoyed visiting the Tendo bath even more than he enjoyed visiting Akane. A private bath was much more pleasant than a public bathhouse full of complaining old men and noisy little kids running around.
He filled a plastic washbucket with hot water and poured it on himself to rinse the soap and grime off.
As much as he loved Akane, every encounter with her ended in frustration. Either it was P-chan, or Ranma would show up, or else... or else...
His arms felt limply to his sides. "Or my own dumb self can't say the words I want to," he said aloud.
At least, after a bath, he always ended up feeling good.
Trying to clear his mind of such thoughts, he stood up to get in the tub.
He stopped suddenly. 'Did I just hear something?' He stood stock-still, listening and sensing his environment thoroughly. He thought he could very faintly detect the old freak, but then dismissed the thought. Happosai exuded so much chi that this couldn't be him, the signature was too weak. Maybe he was picking up residual chi from when the old pervert was there last. "He'd better not have been spying on Akane-san," he muttered, "or I'll have to punish him." ('Try to punish him,' his more honest subconscious reminded him.) With that, he immersed himself in the tub up to his chin.
Nodoka's pulse was racing. She thought he was going to find her out. 'This Hibiki must have exceptionally refined senses if he could tell I was near. He is more skilled than I though. If he is my son's rival, how skilled must Ranma be?"
As she crept out of her spying place, she loosed the bandana that she had tied under her nose, in the manner that Master Happosai had taught her.
Perhaps it had been too long since she had practiced the arts, but sadly, there were no young men of Hibiki's age—and certainly, physique—in her neighborhood. Certainly no one worth peeping on.
Kasumi wandered back to the kitchen from the living room "I wonder where Aunti went... oh, you're back!"
Nodoka sipped her tea. "Did you want me for something, Kasumi-chan?"
"Oh, not in particular. I just thought you might have had to leave suddenly."
"I apologize for that. I just needed to get a little breath of fresh air for a moment."
There was something that struck Kasumi as fishy about that explanation, but considering everything that went on in the Tendo house, it didn't even being to register on the oddness radar.
"But I believe I will have to agree with you, Kasumi-chan. Hibiki-san is extremely manly."