Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

Realize

It had been about three months since East started getting pains all over his body. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew then and there that he was starting to fade.

My brother was my first memory. The first thing I can recall as a young nation is him holding me in his arms as I faded in and out of conscious and tried not to panic at the blood welling from my chest. I could just barely hear him promising to let me live on in his kingdom as storm clouds sounded over a worn-out battlefield. I'd always wondered what he meant since that day; occasionally, I would ask if there was something I had previously forgotten, but East was always determined to change the subject.

Only a few weeks ago, as I stood dumbfounded in front of my clumsy friend, did I recall the events of my life before my brother. As I stood amongst the many curious and judgmental faces of that restaurant, I struggled to contain the last shred of calm I had in my mind before I was overwhelmed with all the emotions I had fought to keep in the back of my mind for so long.

I cracked, and all the memories came flooding in.

"I'm sorry...for everything. I'm leaving now, so you don't have to be afraid anymore."

"But, what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said." That painting. It's all I have of her now. I don't care how much storage space it takes up! "Send Mr. Austria and Ms. Hungary my regards. And, stay healthy, Italy."

This is it. This is what I deserve. This is my punishment for chasing her around all those years and forcing her to live in my house.

"Wait! Please, don't go! Holy Rome!"

I can't turn around. I'm sorry, but you deserve better than me. You'll get over it soon.

"Please, take this to remember me by! Think of it fondly, like you would of me!"

What? She's still willing to give me gifts? "Ah-Your deck brush?"

She's so adorable, holding that stick that's bigger than her. It's only natural that I accept her gift.

"Thank you, Italy." The wind weaves lightly through our hair as I hesitate. "I guess I should give you something in return. Tell me, what do people do at your house to someone they love?"

"You-You kiss them, I think."

"Ah, I see." Her lips are so soft. Her skin against mine feels better than the softest silk. Everything about her is so lovely.

"I've loved you since the 900s."

She pulls away slowly, surprised. "Really?"

"Really. I'm not kidding!"

"I'm so happy!"

"No matter how many years pass, you'll always be the person I love most in this world!"

Those were the last words I'd said to her. Whenever I wasn't in battle, my thoughts were centered around her. She was my first thought after I woke up and my last thought before I fell asleep. Almost every night, I would dream about her, only to wake up alone in a bedroom too large for a single person.

Every time I prepared for another fight, I recalled the last words I heard her say before I left Mr. Austria for good. "I'll wait. I'll always wait!" Sometimes, I worried if she would remain faithful for so long. I knew deep down that she did not deserve to wait in tears for a lover who had a slim chance of returning in one piece, if at all.

My army prospered at first. I was able to fight off the Eastern empire pretty well. Only when France attacked me out of the blue was my life put in jeopardy. Before I knew it, the tribes that my leaders had struggled for centuries to unify into a single Reich were dissolving all around me.

That was when my brother flew in. He was determined to conquer all the land he could, no matter whom it housed. I can still recall briefly seeing the look of horror on his face as I lay on the battlefield as a young teen, all but ready to accept my failure as the Holy Roman Empire if it weren't for my beloved.

"I'm so sorry, kid! I had no idea how old of a nation my army was after! I promise, I'll make it up to you. You can live in my country if you survive, and I'll be your big brother! I'll teach you to be awesome like me, just please don't die here!"

I was only able to open one eye to look at him as he held me there, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other gently holding my head. My thoughts were whirling. I couldn't decipher where I was, who I was, what had just transpired. Suddenly, I was experiencing all the events of my past. The thoughts I had processed throughout my young life were playing over in my head, and as I heard that sweet little voice in unison with East's plea for me to live, I could only utter a single word. "Italy..."

Now I knelt by my brother at his bedside, waiting for the inevitable to come. I hadn't seen Italy since that fateful night; Austria had luckily come to retrieve me before the local paramedics arrived, but East had remained silent on the issue up until today. I took a long sigh, knowing that I had to press him before he left me for good.

"East," I said sternly as he opened his eyes to gaze at me. "I have to know, before you leave."

"Oh, West," he chided. "My little brother has such a dark past."

"Brother, I need to know how nations work! None of this makes sense," I lowered my head, tears threatening to escape from my eyes. "Please, tell me why I kept his memories hidden within my mind for so long!"

I felt my brother rest a weak hand on my chest. "He...was...you, little brother."

I refused to hold back any emotion, taking my brother's hand and cradling it against my face as I sobbed. "Please, brother, tell me how, before you go."

I forced myself to open my eyes, and saw East give me one of his loving smiles. "Your history, West," he explained. "You have a unique history of separate tribes that couldn't stand to cooperate except against strong nations."

"But brother, your circumstances are the same!"

"I was only able to retain my memories because I changed my name while I was still very young," he continued to smile. "Your people were far more stubborn, little brother. After that day on the battlefield, you became anew so suddenly that your mind threw aside all your old memories."

I squeezed my brother's hand as he uttered his last words. "Most other nations take time to get their memories back when their names change. But your case was so severe that it took a humiliating date with your Italy to bring them all back. I always knew-" I held him up and patted his back as he struggled against his sudden fit of coughing. It was nearly time.

"You always knew what, brother?" I gently asked, retaking hold of his hand.

He lie back down, smiling weakly. "I always knew...that you would...remember...how you became...as awesome...as me..." With that, he closed his eyes as I returned his smile. I gently laid his hand over his chest and planted a small kiss on his forehead.

As I exited my brother's bedroom, all my guests laid their sorrowful eyes on me. France and Spain were present, Austria and Hungary stood together with pained expressions, and even the United States stood against the wall with his head lowered. East had trained him as a young nation before declaring independence from England, and the two had been fond of each other until the first world war.

I scanned my fellow nations once, before choking out a single sentence and making my silent exit.

"The Kingdom of Prussia...is dead."

So it all made sense now. Almost every single nation on earth was a separate entity from its younger self. My brother was the Teutonic Knights, France was the state of Gaul, England was a small ruffian destined to be assimilated by France and his brothers, Russia was a former settlement raised alongside Ukraine, South Italy was the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies, and I was a collection of reluctant tribal states known as the Holy Roman Empire.

I still remember that one time I was exploring one of the many lesser known locations that are only accessible to nations, bewilderingly lifting up a familiar-looking child. "Who are you?" I had asked it.

"I'm me!" was all it had replied. That was the young nation-state I had sought after for the majority of my life as my past self. He and I, we were each other. Italy was the Kingdom of Northern Italy and Germany was the Holy Roman Empire.

I sat at my desk, closing my eyes before letting out a slow breath. His gender hadn't even come into consideration. All my morale could decipher was that I loved him, no matter what he wore or how high and almost painfully sweet his little voice sounded.

"Italy?" I called as I stepped onto the grass, in that same area where our Pact of Steel had been made and we became best friends.

He was turned away from me, watching the sun set. As I drew closer, I noticed that tears were running steadily down his face and staining his soft cheeks. He turned, surprised, and much to my dismay, drew back. "G-Germany? I-I'm so sorry! If I hadn't gotten nervous and cried at the restaurant, you wouldn't have lost your head and your brother would still be alive!"

He was sobbing. As he ran into me for a hug, I held him by the shoulders and gently pulled him back to face me.

"You have nothing to be guilty for, Italy," I wiped away the remaining tears from his eyes. "My brother would have left regardless of what you did. And I lost my mind...because of what I did. You only ever did everything right."

"Veh? What do you mean, Germany?" He still shook as I held him, and I turned my head to the setting sun. It was almost nightfall.

"Do you remember...what I said to your kingdom before I became who I am now?"

"I...Germany, what are you talking about?" He whined, desperately trying to understand. This was all too much for him.

"I said," I began as I turned back to him, "That I would love you more than anyone else in the world."

At that, I leaned in and gently kissed him. "Thank you for waiting all those years." I stared intently into his eyes, brushing his cheek. "I promise I'll make you happy, if you're willing to take me back as the Republic of Germany."

His eyes widened upon realization. "You...?"

I knelt down on the grass, taking his hand. "My beloved Kingdom of Italy, who is now the northern half of the Republic of Italy, will you marry me, the former Holy Roman Empire?"

My beloved's tears started up again, and I pulled him into a tight hug as he cried into my shoulder. "Yes!" he finally gasped between heavy sobs. "I missed you so much, Holy Rome!"

I gently held his head against my shoulder and buried my nose into his sweet-smelling hair, welcoming the nightfall around our loving embrace. As the wind blew around us, I could feel my brother's hand on my back and him whispering his first ethereal message into my ear.

"I'm happy for you, little brother! Just remember that I'll always be watching up in Heaven with God, Germania and your bride's grandpa! By the way, that guy told me to tell you to be gentle! And God says I can come down for a beer every so often! Bye for now!"

I then formed the happiest smile in my life as I realized that things would only get better from this point. East would now be waiting for me whenever I needed him, I knew of my past, and I had my dearest friend and lover in my arms, no longer scared and confused about either of us.

"I've missed you all my life, Italy."

AN: The aftermath of "Buon San Valentino" according to my head canon, along with one of my theories about the nations.

Thank you for reading!