Title: Under the Mistletoe
Author: Cath
Disclaimer: Surprisingly the characters still do not belong to me.
Summary: Zaf sets up a camera to watch the action under the mistletoe… RH with some others…
Notes: This is my Christmas fic offering. I apologise in advance for the silliness of it all… Was aiming for humorous… Prepare to suspend your disbelief.
---
In retrospect, perhaps placing a fibre optic camera above the mistletoe had not been such an inspired idea, Zaf thought.
True, he'd got some great footage from the night of the Christmas party (now confiscated by Harry) but now not only was he working both Christmas and New Years, but Harry seemed determined to involve him in any unpleasant task that could be found.
So far this week he had been the primary point of liaison between Section D and Juliet's office (practically performing miracles as Juliet's personal assistant), been lost for over two hours in the archives basement and had been given the dubious honour of dog-sitting when Harry went Christmas shopping and didn't return for over five hours (he still didn't believe that it was shopping that had taken him so long).
Additionally, the footage of him lurking near the mistletoe (admittedly under the influence of a small amount of alcohol) at the Christmas party when Jo had been in the vicinity had "accidentally" been shown twice in the briefing room this past week alone.
It had seemed like such a great idea at the time.
At least they still had the memories.
---
"Hey, Jo, come look at this," Zaf called to his colleague as she passed in front of his desk, holding a small load of files.
She walked behind him and looked over his shoulder. "What am I looking at?" she asked. "Hey, isn't that the corridor?"
"I managed to… obtain a fibre optic camera. I've installed it in the ceiling above the mistletoe. Along with a microphone," he explained with a grin.
Jo regarded him with a questioning look. "You're going to spy on people under the mistletoe? Don't you have anything better to do?"
Zaf attempted to look wounded. "I've got plenty of things to do, but sometimes we all need a little distraction and fun. Besides, look – Juliet's approaching at the same time as Harry…"
They both watched the screen intently to see what would happen.
Juliet stopped walking at the exact point that she was underneath the mistletoe.
"Harry, Graham Gould…" she started.
"We're working on it, Juliet," he replied shortly.
"Good, because I've got Downing Street calling me every hour demanding to know how we could lose him and can we possibly locate him before the media gets hold of the story."
"You'd better get back to your phone, I wouldn't want to miss the next call," he smiled insincerely.
Juliet gave him a look that tried to suggest that she was unconcerned by his comments. She looked up, a hint of a smile passing across her features. "For old time's sake, Harry?" she teased.
"I wouldn't expect you to pay any heed to superstitious traditional nonsense," he replied, one eyebrow raised slightly.
"I could make an exception," she offered, somewhat amused.
"I'm busy, Juliet. Trying to locate Graham Gould if you recall," he informed her as he strode away, leaving Juliet looking only mildly wounded.
"Very effective, Zaf," Jo mocked. "Clearly this mistletoe is going to work miracles," she commented as she walked off, rolling her eyes.
---
Despite her cynicism, Jo took a moment during her lunch to watch the screen when Zaf was away from his desk.
She'd finished her yogurt and still there had been no action. Then she noticed that Zaf was walking along the corridor in the opposite direction to Ros.
"Look at that – mistletoe," Zaf commented as he neared her.
Ros took one look at the mistletoe and looked back at Zaf. "Not on your life, Younis," she replied, and continued striding down the corridor.
Jo laughed.
"What's that?" Adam asked as he observed her reaction.
"Zaf getting shot down under the mistletoe," she grinned.
Adam walked up behind her and took a look at the screen. "Did you set this up?" he asked.
She raised an eyebrow at him in response.
"Zaf," they said simultaneously.
---
The next time Jo had the opportunity to watch was when Zaf was in a briefing with Harry.
"What are you watching?" Ruth asked as she came up behind Jo, causing Jo to jump.
"Nothing," she responded, but her denial was decreased in effect by her failing to close the window on the monitor.
"Is this the mistletoe in the corridor?" Ruth queried. "Zaf's been watching the whole time?"
"You've not been caught underneath it yet, have you?" Jo asked with a sly grin.
"No! And now I've been warned I'll make sure that I don't." Ruth turned to walk away.
"Hang on a minute… they're not…" Jo muttered.
Intrigued, Ruth turned back towards the screen. "Ros and Malcolm? She'll not…" On the screen Ros stopped just short of the mistletoe and began talking to Malcolm. "Does she know it's…?"
"Zaf pointed it out to her earlier."
As if on cue, Malcolm glanced up, and, embarrassed, quickly looked down again.
Ros took this opportunity to look up. She then looked over at Malcolm. Their conversation stopped.
"I can pretend I didn't see it if you would prefer," Malcolm offered quickly.
"And go against tradition?" Ros queried with a slight smile.
"Well then, I suppose, we can't go against tradition," Malcolm responded weakly. He leaned in towards Ros and awkwardly placed a kiss on her cheek.
"I think tradition states that it should be a kiss on the lips. But it'll do… for now," Ros commented slyly to the flustered Malcolm before she walked away.
"I have a feeling this could be addictive," Jo admitted.
---
Ruth's curiosity had gotten the better of her. With no one else currently in the area, she logged onto Zaf's computer and opened up the window to watch the latest footage.
Disappointingly, but predictably, the corridor was absent of people. She decided to give it five minutes before she would get back to work. Fortunately she only had to wait two minutes until her waiting paid off.
Jo and Harry were walking down the corridor, discussing a case, and were slowly approaching the mistletoe.
Ruth watched, half-intrigued, half-concerned, and observed their reactions.
They continued in conversation as they approached, but both Jo and Harry attempted to discreetly veer apart at the place where the mistletoe hung, whilst studiously ignoring it. They continued down the corridor without incident, returning to a more normal distance after passing the mistletoe.
Ruth smiled.
---
It was the night of the Christmas party, and, slightly the worse for wear, Zaf decided that now would be a good time to watch the mistletoe.
Less than a minute later he observed as Jo and Adam approached the mistletoe from different directions, meeting directly underneath as if choreographed.
Adam looked up, winked at Jo, and then proceeded to kiss Jo in, what seemed to Zaf, a prolonged manner.
After Adam had left, Jo looked up at the mistletoe and smiled.
Zaf watched on, incredulous.
---
Zaf, now even more slightly worse for wear, decided that he had done enough observing. Glass of beer in hand, he followed Jo as she walked towards the corridor.
He followed her as she walked down it, and, knowing that she would have to return at some point, stood in the corridor, pacing, near to where the mistletoe was hanging.
"What's going on here?" Harry demanded to know as his officers gathered around Zaf's computer.
Adam turned towards Harry and attempted to cover the screen with his body. Harry was not fooled in the least.
"Ruth?" he asked. She raised her eyebrows in a "why me?" gesture, and shrugged.
"You have several options here, and all end with you telling me what is going on," Harry informed her.
"Zaf put some mistletoe up in the corridor," she explained.
"Yes, I believe we've all observed that hideousness," he responded, and urged her to continue, and at some speed.
"Somehow a fibre optic camera and microphone were also installed so that the activities underneath the mistletoe could be observed," she finished.
For a brief moment, she thought she saw Harry struggle not to smile. This passed quickly.
"And where is Mr Younis?" he inquired.
Adam stood away from the monitor.
Zaf could clearly be seen to pace practically underneath the mistletoe. Harry didn't comment at this point, and once again Ruth was sure that he was struggling to remain impassive.
Then Jo appeared on the screen and Zaf took a few steps backwards before re-approaching the mistletoe.
Zaf then attempted to engage her in conversation. "So, Jo, how's it going?" he asked, feigning nonchalance.
"Fancy meeting you here, on this corridor, of all places," she commented.
"Why? Oh, you mean the mistletoe? I'd completely forgotten it was there," Zaf replied.
Adam laughed out loud, Ruth grinned, and even Harry was near smiling.
"You know, Zaf, you don't need mistletoe. All you have to do is ask," Jo responded, leaning in towards him enticingly.
He leaned further towards her, "Jo, would you like me to kiss you underneath the mistletoe?" he asked seductively.
She placed a hand on his shoulder, letting it trail down his arm. Then she moved away abruptly. "No."
She walked away, returning to the grid to observe a number of her colleagues barely able to keep their laughter under control.
---
With Zaf properly chastised and on his way home along with the rest of his colleagues, Harry made the decision to remove the mistletoe, camera and microphone once and for all.
His actions had, it seemed, been anticipated by Ruth, who was struggling with a stepladder underneath the mistletoe.
"Would you like a hand?" he asked as he neared her.
She looked over at him, smiled, slightly flustered. "I can't seem to get it to unfold," she replied.
He took a brief look at the contraption and quickly identified how to unfold it. Using brute force he managed to get it to stand. It was then that he looked up and noticed that they were both below the mistletoe.
She had, apparently, also noticed and started to talk rapidly, embarrassed. "Did you know that mistletoe is actually a parasitic plant – it puts roots into the bark of trees in order to extract nutrients from them? Traditionally in Scandinavia, if enemies met under the mistletoe they had to lay down their weapons and not fight until the next day. Kissing under the mistletoe has its origins in Norse and Celtic rit…"
Harry stopped her prolonged exposition on the myths and legends associated with mistletoe by moving in towards her. Frankly, having introduced the notion of kissing into her speech he was unable to think about anything else given their current position. She leaned back slightly against the stepladder for support, eyes wide, breathing shallow. Her train of thought came to an abrupt halt as she anticipated his next move.
She swallowed, parted her lips, and licked the bottom one. He moved in closer towards her, eyes captivated by her lips, reducing the distance between them until the gap was closed completely and he kissed her.
Softly at first, but increasing in pressure, they continued hungrily, before she opened her mouth wider, and his tongue duelled with hers.
Eventually, breathless, they pulled apart.
"You were saying?" he asked after a pause.
Ruth smiled and laughed softly. She looked up at the mistletoe. "We should probably take this down," she commented, unable to think of anything more intelligent or appropriate to say.
"That would probably be a good idea," he replied, unsteadily making his way up the ladder and removing the offending item and reaching for the camera. "Ruth, would you like to…"
In the empty grid, the screen went blank.
---
Yes, it had been such a good idea at the time, Zaf thought.
But as he sat alone watching a suspect on camera celebrating the New Year with his friends, Zaf couldn't help but think that next time he'd leave the good ideas to other people.
---
Fin.
A Very Merry Christmas to you all!