I Feel Oblivion 1

Mameha Katsuna, the name burned through the back of her head and producing tears in her eyes. Her name that will be forever placed on this stone, but not in her heart. To her, she will always be remembered as...

"Nanna..."

The wind gently blew the hair from her face in almost a comfort, as if Nanna herself was there watching her from a spiritual plane. Unable to accept looking at the name any longer she found solace in the flowers nestled in the purple vase on the ground in front of it. White Orchids, her favorite. Although impossible to keep alive in a place like this, it was only appropriate for her final resting place to have one thing that represents her in memory. She clenched her fist in anger as streams of water fell into the thirsty sand covered ground.

'Why did you have to leave too?' she cried aloud in her mind. 'You left me here alone. What am I going to do now that you're gone?'

In silence, she tried to calm herself by holding a tissue to her face. In times as hard as this, it was difficult to control her breathing. She remembered her precious Nanna. It was a day like any other with her smiling when Yue walked into the kitchen of their two bedroom apartment. It was just like every morning with Jasmine tea and sugar cookies on the table as she always had made. Those mornings were the routine that above all else gave her the feeling of being truly at home. Through all her life Nanna was like a mother to her guiding her into the young woman she is today, and now after a few years of struggling with the illness that has taken hold of her aging body, she passed peacefully in her sleep. With the tissue, she wiped her excess tears, she uttered a short prayer.

"I will see you again, Nanna. Be at peace."

Yue turned away from Mameha's grave towards the stone to her left. Reo Akimitsu, it read. The name that brought instant feelings of anger, sadness, and guilt at the same time. Not all happiness in the world could make her feel any remorse for that name.

"Reo..." she whispered looking down at the freshly placed flower among the bouquet of dried brown crinkly ones. "I'm sorry.."

The bright sun that she was usually used too, burned brighter that day along with the black dress she wore. The heat was getting tremendous, to which she decided against her distraught emotional state to return home. Yue wrapped the shawl across her shoulders and proceeded towards the gates of the village. She kept her head down dragging her feet against the dusty ground as she walked. It wasn't as hard to leave the graveyard; for her, the hardest part was facing the fact that the house will be empty when she got there.

'First Reo... then Nanna...' she thought heavy-heartedly.

A waterfall of memories poured into her mind with crystal clear images of them. Nanna in the teashop getting on Reo for putting too much sugar in the pot and Reo rubbing the back of his neck, apologizing and then looking at Yue with those same gorgeous hazel eyes. Those eyes that she knew immediately meant he loved her. Both of them were the greatest treasures she could ever hope to have in this pitiful life she lived. Even when they fought, even with her powers, they both still chose to love her unconditionally. It was the norm of Reo to become easily distracted when Yue entered the kitchen to begin her shift. Mameha, however, did not tolerate any mishaps for her expanding business, but still, for Yue's sake, allowed Reo's employment.

It had been three years for Reo, but only a week for Nanna's absence to take toll on her. Instantly, that warm image of Reo began to splatter with red blood. Yue's stomach churned and her heart began to ache. As much as she tried to push it out of her mind, Reo's hazel eyes turning a dark lifeless grey never left. There was nothing she could do. The darkness would always find its way back into her fragile brain and it would stay there for a while. Back when Nanna was around, she would notice and embrace her until her emotions ran dry but, alas, she departed this world too. Yue was on her own to face her demons alone.

Step by step she walked across the dusty plain. She attempted to move away from her wallowing pity to focus on something in reality, something physical. She breathed in and out...in and out... focusing on that was the only way she could ever achieve meditation.

'The pain will subside and soon you will feel nothing at all...' she thought to herself.

THUD! Or so she thought nothing...

Grasping her face she looked up to whom she had bumped into when her icy blue eyes met cool teal ones wrapped in dark, nearly black rings. His face though attractive showed a slight annoyance. Taking notice of the uniform, her eyes widened as she immediately bowed to him.

"My apologies, sir..."

His expression softened as he nodded.

"Excuse me."

Without waiting for his acknowledgement, she moved around pacing her way back this time. Her eyes were red and bleeding with tears. That look was very familiar to him as if it were showing a mirror. His eyes followed her as she walked away wondering why this woman would be so upset at a time like this, then he took notice of her black dress. Black was not worn much in Suna, only for time of funerals. In a flash, he remembered the pain in the eyes of those families, the families that wore black in loss of those who he killed long ago.

'She must have lost someone close.' he thought and with that he turned to continue his path.

She knew she didn't look presentable to show her face in public, but to have shown her face to the Kazekage made her feel foolish. At this point all she wanted was to go home and grieve.

The streets were filled with livelihood. Vendors making their various incomes, people dining and socializing, and children playing kickball by the playground. It was as if there were no problems left in the world. Life just continued as it were a week ago. To this girl though, there was a sense of doubt. Whose to say those vendors haven't had anything stolen from them? What about those people socializing and not realizing the darkest secrets of the person they talk to? Or which of those children were going to get their knee scraped? All of this life happening before her eyes only turned her sour. Without Reo and Nanna... there was nothing good left for her here...

Yue was soon greeted by the entrance of a small building. The moment she had been dreading since she first left the funeral. She opened her small purse to feel around for her keys. Once she found them, she turned it into the lock until it clicked and with a heavy push she opened the door. It was much harder to open today. Closing it behind her she felt for a light and switched it on to find clean wooden tables with chairs on top set in rows of four across the way and a dark kitchen in the back. The place was indeed empty. She locked the door behind her and slowly made her way towards the back to another door, this one unlocked. It led to the second story which was her apartment.

There was a dullness in the room without her Nanna's vibrant personality to liven it. To Yue now it was just a living room with one couch and a coffee table in the center. The small kitchen was settled in the right and the bedrooms were to the left to which she walked to. Placing her hand on the knob of her room she looked across the way to Mameha's shut door. Her eyes became blurry with water and in a blink it flowed down her cheek. The realization hit her hard knowing that now she would not have the strength to go in that room for a long time. Some day she will have to go in, but not now. She slammed the door, fell on her bed clasping her pillow and began to drown in her tears. The grieving had begun since she found out of Nanna's death, but this was the first time she really let it out.

After many hours of crying, she tired herself out and began to drift into a deep sleep. Her vision was black for a moment until a bright white flash had transported her into a small room much different than her apartment. Yue could see a small girl with long black hair in a braid wearing a pink shirt and black shorts sitting in the corner of the room holding her right knee. She was crying. Yue slowly walked towards her but was stopped by a tall young woman wearing a blue silk kimono and her hair up in a bun. She knelt by the child and with a soothing voice she said " You may cry from the pain, but the pain will stop eventually."

The little girl looked up to the woman."You are strong, little Yue, you just don't see it." And the woman kissed her injured knee.

Yue's eyes widened as she recognized the lady in blue as a younger Mameha and the little girl as her. The memory of when she was young. Young Nanna took little Yue in her arms and as she walked away the memory faded into nothing.

Suddenly, the light appeared with an almost blue aura. It then took her to a moonlit garden covered with lush flowers and a gorgeous sparkling pond in the center. The setting gave her a sense of calmness. Whatever memory this was, it was quite a beautiful beginning. Immediately, she heard the sound of gravel crunching in the ground as if someone was running. She turned to the direction of the sound and came to witness another version of herself, this time she was around thirteen years of age, in a purple flowered kimono running across the garden. She looked frantic and kept looking over her shoulder until she tripped over her own shoes and fell hard on the ground. Older Yue just watched as two large men came out of the shadows of the night armed and going straight for her younger self. Little Yue crawled on the ground as fast as she could but the men were just a foot away from her, both with masks covering their face. Not like the anbu black ops masks, but something much more nightmarish.

One man drew out his long sword aimed ready to hit the little girl, but before he could pierce her skin another sword blocked it away. It was Nanna! She threw the attacker off with heavy force and immediately looked back to little Yue.

"Run!" she commanded.

The other attacker jumped with his blade inching close to Mameha's neck. Little Yue threw out her right hand screaming "No!" and as she screamed a white light of chakra swirled out of her right hand and blew a powerful force of icy wind that pushed both men many yards across the garden.

Yue was stunned at how much force was behind that one strike from her younger self. Nanna took hold of the opportunity, grabbed little Yue and continued to run until they were completely out of sight. The two men recovered from the blow and went back to chasing them both. Yue looked back up into the moon and with that she closed her eyes. Opening them, she was welcomed back to her bedroom.

'That dream... happened so long ago..'

Noticing her windows were black, she addressed her alarm clock to see that it was now 8:07 pm. Had she really slept all day? What was the point of getting up now? Yue planned to close the tea shop down until at least Monday. That was three days from now. She pressed her face into her hands.

'How am I going to run the shop all by myself?'

The tea shop, Kori, was Nanna's dream since Yue could remember. Nanna was her guardian all her life and when they escaped the Mist village, they lived their lives running from the attackers. Yue never completely knew why they had to keep running and remain hidden from them but she did as Nanna told. Yue didn't remember her parents, or her previous home since that dream she had. Mameha found refuge for them in the Village Hidden in the Sand, knowing that no water-elemental could ever practice their powers here, therefore, it wouldn't be the ideal place for the men to find them. They were safe. Mameha made them residents of Suna and instructed Yue to never show her powers to anyone and they would remain safe. Yue did as told.

Time passed by over her teenage years performing small jobs here and there across the village to help Mameha open her own tea shop. From then on they lived their lives of peace despite Nanna continuously watching guard over her precious Yue. The young girl didn't understand this choice of life, and went to attempt to ask Mameha why this happened? And why she had to hide from them when they could just fight or call for help? But Nanna just insisted to tell her when she got older. She never did. That's the biggest void in her life at this point. No answers and no means of finding out. The tea shop is all she has left of Nanna and she will be damned if it were to go under. It was hard enough with two people and now just one remained. What was she going to do?

Yue took in a breath and sighed.

'The best thing I can do at this point is to prepare the shop for Monday and perhaps seek another employee before I have to get a roommate. That's going to be tough to move on so suddenly.'

With that thought, she rolled out of bed to the bathroom and took a shower. The hot water and scented soaps washed all the bad thoughts away and cleared her mind. Once she was out, she wrapped a towel around her waist to dry and checked herself in the mirror. Those cold blue eyes staring at her were still puffy and red from before. Her skin was much paler from crying. If she cried anymore she would probably get sick, like she needs that right now. The long black hair she dried off with the towel and let it part on the right side of her face.

"You are stronger than this." she told herself just before going back in her room to put on a change of clothes. A simple navy blue t-shirt and a pair of black shorts.

She went downstairs into the shop. The dining area lights were still on. Damn! She forgot to shut them off. As much as it still hurt to see that Nanna wasn't there like she usually is, Yue tried to put the depression aside and focus on work. The sooner the shop was in order the sooner she could get it running again. She began to take the chairs down off the tables when she heard a knock at the door.

'Who would be here at this time of night?' she thought, skeptical just thinking about opening the door. 'The store has been closed all week, why would a customer think about showing up now and this late?'

She remembered her promise to Nanna about her powers, but she wasn't here to protect her anymore. The War has just ended not too long ago and crime wasn't as bad as it used to be, but nevertheless, she remembered those two guys, the Korishi clan, who were out to get her. With one hand behind her back, she formed a small ice kunai, and opened the door with the other. She was ready to strike, but stopped. She met the dark brown eyes of a young girl with black hair draped around her face and a long flowing blue kimono dress. She was easily recognizable despite the year-apart features.

"Yumi?"

"Yue!" She smiled jumping to give her a hug which made Yue to drop her ice kunai to the floor. It shattered with a loud crack, but she didn't seem to notice.

Surprised at her presence, she asked "What are you doing here?"

Yumi took a step back and explained that she received her letter about Mameha not doing so well and came to see how they were. "So where is she?"

Yue's eyes sunk low to the ground and her vision became blurry again, but she unhealthily held it in. Yumi took notice and realized she had her answer.

"Oh...I'm sorry, Yue." She placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"It's ok. You didn't know." Yue gestured her to come inside, she closed the door and locked it. Yumi took a seat at one of the set up tables as Yue went into the kitchen and began to boil some water in the kettle for tea."Green tea, Earl Grey, or...?"

"Chamomile if you have it?" She requested.

Yue did as she pleased, brought out two cups and a ration of leftover cookies to her. Yumi took the kettle to pour into the cups and let the tea leaves steep until the water turned into a yellow color.

"The shop has been closed all week, so I'm sorry if the cookies are stale." Yue stated to which Yumi picked up a cookie and felt it in her hand. Sure enough, it was stiff, so stiff that she decided to test it by banging it on the table. It still didn't break. The girls both chuckled and pushed the plate of cookies away. It was nice to have her laugh despite all that has happened this week, but like all good times, there has to be some bad and Yumi had questions that she curiously wanted answers from, mostly because she wanted to help. Taking the cup in her hand, she held it out for Yue.

"Do you mind? I prefer my tea cold." With that said, Yue obliged and placed her hand above the cup. A slight blue light appeared just around the rim and with a clink a couple of ice chips fell inside.

"Thanks." She said. "So the illness took hold of her didn't it?"

Yue nodded.

"Did she at least pass in her sleep?"

"Yes, she went peacefully." She began "You didn't have to come all this way, Yumi."

"We are best friends, Yue, since we were young. Mameha and mom have been friends even longer. I needed to be sure that you were okay here."

The kindness in her words were soothing, but she knew dragging her into the problems at hand would only increase the risks. Plus she never liked feeling in debt to people.

"I'm fine." She lied. Yumi knew better.

"Really? Whose running the shop now?"

"Me."

"You can't do this by yourself. This place is too big for just one person and you say the shop has been closed all week? How will you make your bill payments?"

Yue was quiet for a minute. As much as she hated to admit it, Yumi was right. Closing the shop for a week has definitely put its toll on the bills, along with Nanna's hospital bills, and the funeral costs. And living in this village in the middle of the desert is expensive as it is when it comes to living solely on imports. The only means of food and water they have come from other nations in trade for salt, metals, and military services. People can't just grow what they want, and wander aimlessly around the desert in hopes of finding an oasis. To the best of her knowledge, she didn't know what she could do.

"I'll figure something out."

"You have no idea, do you?" Her silence spoke volumes. "Then let me help you. Have you considered hiring someone new?"

"Yumi, Nanna just died. The funeral was today. I haven't thought of the bills, the shop, or anything!" She snapped at her.

Almost instantly, she felt guilty for screaming at her, knowing she didn't deserve any of it. Yumi's face saddened but she understood the pain she was going through.

"I'm sorry that she is gone." She held her hand to show that she meant it in comfort. "You need to start thinking of yourself now. If you need, I will stay and help you until you get back to your routine or until you hire someone else."

"You know how I get when it comes to trusting others. They could see my abilities and if they do then..." She explained thinking back once again into the past.

"Then they could end up like Reo?" It's like she could read her mind. She sipped her tea again and squeezed her hand. "What happened to Reo was his choice..."

"And it will happen to the next one I invite in my life."

Yumi was getting upset. She had no knowledge of the Korishi clan or why they were out to get her friend, but she knew this time was different. The Great Ninja War was over and peace was among the nations. It isn't fair for her to live her life alone in fear of them. She knew Yue needed to find a strong person to protect her, someone who lived here, someone she could trust who possibly experienced a similar situation. Then an idea popped in her head.

"Have you considered going to the Kazekage?"

Yue's ears perked up, her face in utter perplexity at what she had just suggested.

"Why would I do that?"

"He's commander of the Shinobi elite forces which can provide you protection. He has experienced almost the same problem, if not worse than yours. I'm sure if you explain what's going on, he can help. He might could send you an unpaid intern until you get back on your feet." She explained.

"Nanna risked everything for us to start a new life of peace here as regular shinobi. Then I met Reo and we became friends. I promised Nanna not to show my powers, but I let her down and it got out of control. Now, because of me, they are dead. Who knows what will happen if I do it again?"

Yumi was getting frustrated at the stubbornness of her friend. There was a reason Mameha chose the Sand Village. Given the military background, the climate and living conditions, and the Kazekage's son taking his title as the protector of the nation - this was the perfect place for Yue to start over. Yumi as a familiar water elemental didn't have the same life. Tatsu, her mother, allowed her to control her power with training and to use it to protect and serve Konoha. Yumi didn't even know the reason why the Korishi clan was after her. If it wasn't for her mothe'rs promise to Mameha, she might have been told. She knew Yue deserved a better life than just a simple regular shinobi.

"You can't live keep living like this, Yue. Us Elementals have lived our lives different from everyone else. Very few of us possess these powers, it's not something we should hide."

"I'm going to keep this shop going exactly how it has been for the last few years, even if it means hiding forever and living alone. I owe Nanna that much after everything she did for me."

"But Yue..."

"My decision stays."