Happy RokuNami Day everyone!
x.o.o.x
Prom Song
He's so…beautiful. He doesn't even know how much he means to me.
I watch him as he laughs with all his jock friends. I can hear his loud snort from here, I can see the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. I swear, it's like looking at a god right in front of you. His blond hair- his brown roots are starting to show -is styled in a way that never ceases to confuse me; pulled this way, curled that way, spiked up, laid down. The best part about his hair is his bangs. They fall like that on accident, but he stopped trying to fix it once I said I liked it. And his eyes. They're too blue for this world.
He catches me staring and smiles. His friends are still laughing, so they don't see him when he mouths hello to me, nor when he purposefully bites his lip in the most seductive way ever. I can't help the heat that rushes to my face as I reply with a smile and hello of my own. I'm not as good as he is, so I could never pull off a lip bite. I leave all that to him.
He grins wider, as if he lives to see me blush, then turns his attention back to his friends as their laughter dies down. I turn back to my locker.
He's so out of my league.
x.o.o.x
Valentine's day. I don't expect it, but a red envelope falls out of my locker. I quickly pick it up and open it, excited at the thought of having a secret admirer. The front of the card is pink, red, and white, with the words Be Mine printed on the front. Generic card from a dollar store. Great. I open it up and see a single written word that makes my face heat up all over again.
"Hello," a velvet voice whispers over my shoulder.
My heart skips a beat as I look back at the blond football player. He's looking like he always does. "H-ello," I choke, turning around to face him correctly.
"Can I take you out tonight?" he asks bluntly, confidently. It's like he knows I'm going to say yes. Am I that easy to read? Or does he think I'm that easy? I want to prove him wrong if he does think that of me, but who am I to say no to a god?
"Okay," I smile. The card in my hand wrinkles from my tight grip on it.
We exchange numbers, and my mind races with the fact that the most desirable guy in the school is asking me out. Not that I think I'm ugly or undesirable, but…out of every girl in our grade, why me?
I ask him that. He just smiles and says, "When else am I gonna get the chance to have a queen to myself for an evening?"
He just called me…a queen. Here comes the heat again. "Oh wow…"
He chuckles and slowly backs away. "I'll text you."
My words get caught in my throat. I just smile and say uh-huh like an idiot.
I have a date. With him.
x.o.o.x
He holds my hand on the entire walk home. He doesn't release it until we get to my doorstep. "I enjoyed your company, your highness," he says, and bows dramatically.
I giggle like a complete retard and hide my blushing cheeks with my hands. "Where do you get off calling me a queen when you look like that?"
"Look like what?" he asks.
"Like…like I can't explain it."
He takes my chin in his hand and lifts my head, still smiling warmly at me. "I call you a queen because you're beautiful like one."
I sigh. "That's the word I'm looking for."
His eyes wrinkle with unshed laughter. "You think I'm beautiful?"
I nod shamefully. That's not something girls usually say to guys. They say things like totally hot or sexy or handsome. He doesnt look like any of that. Not to me. I think he's beautiful, and I hope he doesn't get offended by that.
"Well I've never had a girl call me beautiful before. T-Thank you."
Did he just stutter? That's so cute.
"Beautiful…" he whispers softly, as if he has to test the word out a couple times. And he does. This is one of the many reasons I like him. He's humble, polite, outgoing, and funny. But most of all, he's the most authentic person I know, even though I don't know him personally. I see him around and I watch him. He doesn't pretend to be interested in superficial things, and he doesn't care if he's teased for being president of the poetry club while also being a jock. He's perfectly himself.
"Thank you," he says again. "I'd like to take you out again, if that's okay with you."
I nod. I have no words.
"Great. I'll text you." I watch as he walks backwards, and doesn't turn around until he's reached the street. I almost fall inside of my house and lean against the door. He didn't even try to be all sleazy and kiss me.
This is why you're so beautiful to me.
x.o.o.x
I fall for him a little more every single day.
We're in second period and he's the one staring at me now. He's been staring for a while. And by a while, I mean his notebook is bone dry and he's failed his last few tests because of it. When he's not staring, he's passing me notes. He says passing notes is romantic and dangerous, which I sort of agree with. We say a lot of things in these notes and if we're caught, the teacher will definitely read it aloud.
Speaking of notes, I'm holding one under the desk in my hand. The teacher is looking now, so I can't read it. I hope he understands that that's why I'm not reading it and not because of what he said. Even though my heart is hammering in my chest. I can still see the words like they're right in front of me.
I have something important to ask you
When the teacher turns, I open it and shove it under my notebook to where I can see his writing.
Will you be my girlfriend?
I bite my lip hard as heat rushes to my face, trying not to scream I write a capitalized YES on the paper and fold it back the way it was. Just as I pass it, the paper is snatched out of my hand. "Passing notes?"
I immediately mouth an apology to him. He blushes and tells me it's okay. He never seems to mind when I make a mistake, no matter how stupid or careless it is.
The teacher, surprisingly, folds the note back up after reading it and places it on his desk, then goes back to teaching. He looks shocked for a second, then rips the note open. His eyes lock with the paper, then he slowly folds it again. There's a huge smile on his face as he stares at his empty notebook.
I don't get any more notes for the rest of the period. And he doesn't stop smiling. But I do hear him say she said yes! to one of his friends.
x.o.o.x
"Stop it…" I smile and look away from him.
"I'm serious. I've never been this happy before in my life. Dating you is a dream," he sighs happily. "Sometimes a wet one."
"Roxas," I warn.
"What!? We've gone swimming four times this week alone!"
I shake my head and laugh at him. "You're insane." It's silent between us for a while. "Do you really think about that?" I forget to add as much as I do.
"'Bout what, baby?"
Don't you blush. You should be used to him calling you that by now. You aren't this easy, toughen up chick! "You know…that."
He looks up at the sky and leans back on his hands. I love the way the sun reflects off of his eyes like stained glass, making them appear a shade lighter than they really are. Those eyes. They get me every time.
"Yeah," he chuckles awkwardly. "Yeah I do."
"…Me too."
He turns his head to look at me. It's different than how he usually looks at me. I don't know if I should be flattered or scared. He hums, but doesn't say a word as he looks back at the sky.
I see the way he's biting his lip. It'll bleed if he doesn't let it go.
"Do you think we should? I don't want to rush, but I don't want to make you wait too long, either."
A brief silence passes before he speaks. "I want you to tell me when you're ready."
"And what if…what if I'm ready now?"
I can feel his pulse jump to an abnormal speed through his hand. I can see his gulp, and hear the way his breathing hitches slightly. "Will you forgive me if I'm not as- um- experienced as most?"
Oh my God. He's a virgin? I never would have expected it, what with him being popular and surrounded by girls all the time. God, Roxas, you are beautiful.
"You mean you haven't before?" I ask.
He smiles and shakes his head. "I was waiting for this feeling. It's not exactly love, but I know I want your everything. I want to be your everything."
You already are. You just don't know it.
I smile to myself. "I'll forgive you. But only if you forgive me."
Our first time being together in that way happens right here in this park. In his car, of course. Being in his car definitely doesn't make it less romantic than it would have been in a bed. And it's exciting differentiating from the norm. I didn't want it to be just a thing, but our thing.
So…we made love in the back of his car. And I don't regret it.
x.o.o.x
Roxas is still glowing the way he was that day. He's still light on his feet, smiling, happy. Just like I am.
"Hello," he sings into my ear, wrapping his arms around me from behind. Usually, he'll go talk to his friends before coming to see me. I never mind at all. But a weak smile takes over my face as he buries his face into my scarf. The nearly faded mark beneath it seems to burn every time he's close to me.
"Hello," I reply, lacing my fingers through his.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
I had been gone from school all last week because there was a death in the family. He understood and gave me some space, but told me he would be there for me.
"Thank you, baby." Did that really just come out of my mouth? "I just really want to take my mind off of it, though. I'm sick of being sad."
"Are you up for hanging out today? I got a new game while you were gone and it's two player," he sings again.
I smile and touch my cheek to his. "Sure. And thank you for being the best boyfriend ever."
"Thank you for being the best girlfriend ever." He gets cut off from saying more when one of his friends calls him from down the hall. He quickly, gently pulls me by the chin and kisses me in front of everyone. We've never been this publicly affectionate before. "I'll text you."
Roxas gets a few wolf whistles and catcalls from his friends and I get some sly grins from my own. God, I can't stop smiling.
x.o.o.x
Hello, my queen
Hello, my Roxas
I talked to my parents and they said you could spend the night tonight. Isn't that cool?
The coolest! I'll ask my parents right now
Talked to them already! They ok'd itttt!
I'll start packing
I'll start preparing comfort food
Comfort food? Oh, so you can eat it when I beat you again?
Like that's happening again! Best two out of three and if you lose you gotta wear my jersey tomorrow
If YOU lose, you gotta wear one of my extra girly scarves tomorrow
Deal
Deal
Fine
Fine
Meh!
Meh!
I turn my phone off and blush as one of Roxas' friends look back at me from their lunch table. "Good job, Nami!" they jeer as Roxas hides his face in the pink, floral scarf around his neck. His eyes float to me, and he lifts his head up long enough to mouth hello to me.
I mouth it back with a flip of my hair, enjoying the scent of his cologne on his jersey. It doesn't hide the mark on my neck, though. Lucky Roxas, he's the one who has to wear the scarf.
I didn't want him to suffer alone, though. I guess that's why exposing his mark doesn't really bother me.
x.o.o.x
"You're cheating!" he hisses as he nudges my shoulder with his.
"This is a normal game mechanic! I can use it however I want. Plus, we said no rules!"
"No rules, eh?" He quickly glances between me and the screen, then lets go of the controller to squeeze my boob. I nearly drop the controller as his car destroys mine and picks up the last needed power up. "That's how you cheat," he smirks.
"I wasn't cheating, you just suck," I mutter. I'm a little sour about the loss because he actually cheated. I was playing the best I knew how. This game is new to me, but he has hours to practice it when I'm not here.
He stands and stretches. "Don't be a sore loser, baby."
"I can be as sore as I want."
He chuckles and walks off to the kitchen. "You hungry?"
I huff and follow him. "A little, but I don't know if I want your food. You probably cheated someone out of it. And hurt their boobs too…"
His eyes widen a bit. "Did I squeeze you too hard?"
"A little."
"I'm so sorry, I was just messing around. I didn't mean to actually hurt you."
I wave it off with a smile. "It's fine. I'm actually used to you manhandling me boobs," I joke.
His eyes darken just a bit as he walks closer to me. "Come again?"
Now I have him. "I said I like when you manhandle me."
Before I know it, my back is pressed against the kitchen wall and he is blocking every way out. "When you talk like that, I…I can't even."
There's an electric charge in the air all around us as he stares me down. I stare back confidently. I'm no longer embarrassed or shy about being with him this way. It isn't always lovemaking. Sometimes it's a spur of the moment thing, lust and adrenaline driven, pure physical want.
"You want me?" I ask without blushing or stuttering.
"You have no idea."
"Then let's go."
x.o.o.x
We don't always have plans. We don't always talk when we hang out either. Sometimes we just hang out and enjoy each other's company. We'll watch TV, kiss occasionally, have sex sometimes. And I love it all. So you can imagine my fear when I have to bring this up to him.
"I'm bored, Roxas."
He looks over and raises an eyebrow. He looks adorable in his exhaustion, sweat clinging to his skin and that telling glimmer in his eye whenever we finish with one another. But beneath that glimmer, I see the obvious hurt. "Am I doing something wrong?" he breathes out.
I try to smile, but at the same time I try hard not to. "No, baby, the sex is amazing. I mean all of this. Twilight Town. It's so small and boring."
"It's not really boring. There's plenty to do here."
"You know as well as I do that there isn't. It'll always be home, but I want more. I'd like to leave this town someday."
The hurt only seems to grow. "And leave me behind?"
"No, silly. I want to take you with me."
Roxas stares at me, lips parted slightly. He inhales after a moment. "Naminé…I don't want to leave Twilight Town. I love it here."
I frown, but only slightly. We're still in school, but graduation is coming up soon. I'd like to travel and I want to travel with him. Leaving him here will literally kill me. He has so much talent, sports wise and poetry wise. He could go somewhere, be something. Most importantly, we could always be together.
"I can't let you waste away here."
"And I can't let you leave me."
Roxas…
Roxas.
Please, please don't stay here.
You're too beautiful.
x.o.o.x
"Roxas, you should really come with me."
"Naminé, you should really stay with me."
x.o.o.x
"Roxas, please."
"Naminé, please."
x.o.o.x
"Don't go."
"Don't stay…"
x.o.o.x
"Namine, I really care about you."
"And I care about you-"
"Then stay! Please!"
This is the first time I'd ever seen tears in his eyes. Roxas has never cried in front of me before. It breaks my heart, and it makes me consider staying. I mean really consider.
I don't know what to do. I really care about him. So much that I want better for him. I can't let him stay here.
Roxas, you beautiful god, I can't let you waste away here. Ill hate myself forever.
x.o.o.x
"I'm leaving," I blurt out, holding his hands tightly. There are tears in both of our eyes, but I still have hope in my heart. Please say yes, Roxas, please.
"I figured. But if that's what you want, I won't stop you."
I swallow hard, not wanting to let go, but not wanting to miss my flight. "I have room for one more. Are you…coming with me?"
He sniffs, and the hope in my heart dies as he looks away. "I'll text you."
There's my answer. I…I love him so much. So if staying here in this dump makes him happy…
"I'll visit. I swear."
He pulls me in for a hug, and it's the tightest hug he's ever given me. Before I pull away from him, I kiss him. I want him to know how much I care, how much this hurts, and how much I'll miss him.
"I'll text you," he repeats softly into my hair.
x.o.o.x
That was the last time I'd ever heard from Roxas. He didn't text and I didn't visit.
I miss him though. Enough to want to drop everything and go back…but he's probably moved on. It's been so long.
x.o.o.x
I am stuck on Prom Song Gone Wrong by Lana Del Rey. It's beautiful and sad and perfect for RokuNami day. I know this is late, but it's here and it's finished.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Leave a review if you want!
x.o.o.x
I'm standing in an art gallery now. My art gallery. It's beautiful and so is all the art I have made and collected over the years. I'm happy that I could do it all on my own, that I could say it's mine. I did this.
Sighing happily, I walk past the viewers and towards the entrance. Even happy people have a limit. I'm tired and I need to go rest.
As I open the door, I notice someone leaned up against my car. I drop my keys as those familiar brown roots catch my attention. What holds it, however, are those perfect eyes that seemed to get even more perfect with age. He's taller now, a little bulkier, but that smile is still the same.
"Hello," he smiles warmly, opening his arms as if he just knows I'm going to run into them.
Because I am.