Disclaimer: I own Nothing!
Alright, well this is my first story: "Red Vs. Blue: The Not-so-Blood Gulch Chronicles" A Fanfic that sets the cast of Red vs. Blue into a wide array of other games in all game genres. Hopefully you'll find it enjoyable and true to the characters, but if not, please, respond and let me know what you thought could be improved. And now, I give you...
Red vs. Blue: The Not-so-Blood Gulch Chronicles
Episode 1: "Where in Sam Hill..."
Blood Gulch, Red Base
"Now you're sure strapping the ship's engine to the warthog was a good idea?" Grif asked, slightly nervously as he climbed into the side seat.
"Of course I'm sure Grif! Now get into the Warthog before I make you a turkey dinner!" Sarge retorted
"But Sir, why would you make Grif a turkey dinner?" Simmons asked, somewhat confused
"Because, Simmons, He'd be the turkey." Sarge explained.
Meanwhile, Blue Base
"This is a bad idea…" Church commented, not actually caring, as usual.
"But a telethingy would work much better if we could move it!" Caboose retorted, once again trying to yank the teleporter out of it's door holding.
"Move aside Caboose, you're doing it the slow way" Tucker said, readying his weapon
"Where did you get that?!" Church boggled, staring at Tucker's Rocket Launcher
"I found it…" Tucker Explained
"Very specific, moron. Where did y—Jesus!" Church and Caboose dove for cover as Tucker fired.
While the rockets did dislodge the teleporter, they also sent it flying out over the canyon.
"Oh, great job, idiot! Now where did it go?" Church yelled, caring a surprising amount for someone who vowed never to use the teleporter.
"Oooh! Ooh! Maybe we could just go through the telethingy here… And come out wherever it landed!" Caboose suggested, optimistic as ever.
"There's just one problem with that Caboose…" Church tried to explain, again "And that is, that we don't have a teleporter here anymore."
"Oh." Was Caboose's simple reply, as he tried to think up a new plan.
Middle of the Canyon
"Alright Simmons! Turn up the power!" Sarge yelled over the roar of the ship's engine, propelling the Warthog across Blood Gulch
"Yes sir!" Simmons replied, pushing a few buttons on the jerry-rigged control panel, upping the power. Nobody noticed a teleporter's machinery get sucked into the engine as he did.
Approx. 30 seconds later, Blue Base
Church sorely regretted listening to Tucker.
Tucker sorely regretted wasting his rockets on the teleporter.
Caboose tried to remember why he was out of the base
The M808 Main Battle Tank 'Sheila' was currently offline, and, as such, was unaware of anything going on.
"Blues in sight! Increase to Ramming Speed!" Sarge commanded as the 'Hog barreled towards the stationary Blues.
"How do I do that sir?" Simmons asked, unsure of how fast ramming speed actually was.
"Use Lopez's switch! It's wired into that control... panel... thing over there. You have to hit the red switch, then the green lever, th—"
At that moment the Warthog made contact with the Blues, and, about a millisecond later, the tank. At that precise moment, the teleporter fired up and was kicked into overdrive by the extra power provided by the engines of the ship.
Unknown time, Unknown date
"Where in Sam Hill are we?" Sarge wondered aloud, looking around at the barren landscape
"I don't know sir… Though it seems the Warthog was significantly changed by whatever happened" Simmons commented, nodding towards the now substantially different looking jeep-esque vehicle.
"I have a better question," Grif stated flatly "What the fuck is That?" He asked, pointing to the giant blue thing floating in the sky over what appeared to be a base in the distance.
Back in Blood Gulch
Donut and Tex were in yet another heated argument (While grif's sister watched) over who knows what, and were about to grab their plasma grenades when a gigantic green flash came from Blue base.
"What the hell?" They wondered, almost in unison, before they were enveloped by a wave of green energy, and found themselves about two hundred feet above what appeared to be a jeep-esque thing, along with three people in weird uniforms, and a tank.