Disclaimer: Batman and related characters belong to DC Comics.

Warnings: Slash, mentions of sexual occurrences.

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Important: Flamers, fuck off. No one wants to hear your mouth.

Characters are OOC because its a FanFiction. Not by the original author/creators.

This is crack if you want a genre. Crack!

What Do YOU Think?

"Wild and crazy that's my bet." Croc gave a toothy grin.

"Please, he probably acts like the clown he looks like. Clumsy and calling show's over before it begins." Two-face scowled and flipped his little coin.

"Nuh uh! He's slow and sensual…" Harley sighed dreamily.

Ivy scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Harley, you can't really believe that can you? Just look at him!" She exclaimed, throwing out her arms and setting them firmly on her hips. "Besides, I think it's a safe guess he's rough as an Arkham wall and twice as hard." She flicked her red hair from her face.

Riddler chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "I'm willing to bet he'd have no idea what to do! Judging by his grotesque looks I'm pretty sure he's never been laid!" He burst out laughing at his own joke, a few others joining him.

"Oh come now! A lady charmer like Joker?" Penguin chuckled. "I bet he lures the gals to his bed like a hypnotizing cobra, they just can't stop starring at those scars!" More joined in and laughed without relent at the jokes being fired this way and that. It wasn't often they had this little time to themselves. They had all known and waited anxiously for the night were the psychotic clown would go out on the town and blow a few buildings sky high, an activity that was sure to keep him occupied until the blue dawn arrived.

"Oh don't be so mean Penguin! I'm sure he's got a lot more tail than you!" Harley exclaimed in an uncharacteristically haughty tone. Obviously she was upset by the taunts and heckles being tossed about, all about her precious 'Mr. J.' She crossed her arms and sat back down, pouting and a little bit hurt.

"Oh come on Harls, don't be upset." Ivy wrapped her arm around her gal pal in a comforting hug. "We don't really mean those things, we just never get a chance to heckle the Joker!"

Two-face scoffed. "I mean it. He's a clumsy, idiotic, lose-AGGGH!" He screamed, Ivy nailing him in the gut. She turned back to Harley with a smile. "We don't mean it, hun."

"That raises a thought Harley, you've seemed to spend the most time with our little ringleader, have you ever…?" Penguin asked suddenly, drifting off with the thought.

Harley frowned and looked ashamed. "No, no we haven't… I can never get him to! I dress in cloths that would make a 2 dollar hooker blush and he doesn't even look at me!"

Riddler chuckled and crossed his legs. "Well maybe our flamboyant little clown 'plays for the other team'."

Croc burst out laughing and fell backwards to the floor, making the wood creak and crack under his weight. "You gotta be kiddin'! You really think he could be 'like that'?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." Two-face muttered.

"Oh come on, Crane maybe but not Joker!" Ivy barely gasped out through her laughter.

"Crane what?"

Everyone froze, a cold chill running up their spines at the voice. They all turned their heads to the doorway and a few giggled nervously. Jonathan strode up the group, his hands in his pockets and his soft pale face bearing a slight frown under steely eyes.

"What are you going on about?" He asked evenly.

Riddler chuckled nervously and fiddled with his collar. "We were just uh…making a few jokers?- I mean jokes!" he tried to cover up his slip but only succeeded in gaining a few angry glares from the group.

Jonathan ignored the slip and tilted his head to the right ever so slightly. "About what?" He asked, deciding to play innocent.

"Oh you know, stuff…" Ivy drifted off.

"Jokers sex life." Two-face stated bluntly. The group groaned angrily.

Crane giggled softly and tilted his head fully, his chin length black hair falling onto his face and eyes wide giving him a slightly crazed look. Each of the group felt a bit of fear bite at their minds, all knowing how easily prone to violent psychotic episodes the man was.

"And what were your theories?" He asked, accidentally using too much force with the last word.

Nonetheless all except Two-face and Ivy showed their fear. Croc was the first to speak up. "He go crazy with lust!" he shouted.

"He's a rough bastard." Ivy spoke next.

"He'll romance ya!" You know who giggled.

"He wouldn't know what the fuck to do." I wonder who said that.

"He's never been laid!" Yelled Riddler in a bout of courage.

"Those scars…" Penguin shuddered.

A question suddenly popped into the little blond harlequins mind and she frowned innocently at the thought of it. "Hey Craney, what do you think Mistah J's like in bed?"

Jonathan laughed softly at the assumptions and tilted his head to the other side, the same crazed look in his ice blue eyes as he thought of little Harleys question. "Well…I would imagine he would be cruel and sadistic, tying his victim down and gagging him with a bloody rag. Maybe he'd cut him up a bit, a few slices here and there, shove the blade in his arm and twist it…" Jonathan chuckled. "He'd probably fuck 'em dry and right before he came, stick the blade in his mouth and carve him up on the inside…"

He stared at his wide eyed audience. "Then again, he could be quite gentle." Jonathan smirked and walked slowly and quietly to his room, leaving the group of stunned rouges to gather their thoughts.

Penguin blinked slowly. "You, you don't think he…?"

"No, no, no…he wouldn't, couldn't of…" The Riddler was speechless.

Harley frowned, her pale blue eyes still wide. "Cranes creepy…"

They all nodded in agreement.

Authors Notes

Again, this is Crack! Fuck off flamers!

Hope you like it, I'm extremely tied.

Please Review!

I love really apprecieate them.