"Rachel, why won't you open up to me?" I heard my girlfriend yell.
"Quinn, I'm open to you." I yelled back but she shook her head and laughed.
"It's him isn't it? You still have feelings for Finn." She said and I don't say anything so she continues, "What happened last year that hurt you so bad?" I still don't answer so she says, "Fine don't tell me but if you can't open up to me I'm gone." She walked out the door and I felt a sob escape my lips.
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
"Merry Christmas"
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again
I avoided Finn in the halls even though I wasn't sure he'd recognize me. It had been a year since we broke up and I had changed so much. I started dating Quinn a few months after and she completely made me throw away my old clothes and shop for one's she thought were cool. She even did my hair and taught me how to make it better. I know it was all out of kindness 'cause one time I said no to her ideas and she didn't fight me.
One day I thought back to why we broke up. Finn celebrated Christmas so to make him happy I sent him a letter saying, "Merry Christmas" and that I loved him but he never called or said anything to me about it and a couple days later I found him kissing a girl I didn't know. It's weird because he broke my heart and I was with Quinn, but if Finn had talked to me and we ended up kissing I would have probably taken him back. I wondered if I even care for Quinn or if I was just using her.
A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
I was at a school Christmas party and he was right across the room. I couldn't stand seeing him when he didn't see me. I shouldn't have been complaining it was my fault he can't see me, I mean I was hiding behind a bunch of people. He was standing against the wall talking to a couple of Cheerios acting if I wasn't even here. I wondered if he even cared that we broke up. I really thought he could have been the one and I guess I was just someone to help him with Quinn and the baby and nothing more. It hurt and I left and went to the only house I could think of, Quinn's.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
When I got to her house I called her cell so I wouldn't wake up her little girl.
"Hello?" she whispered after one ring.
"Hey, it's Rachel."
"Hi." She said curtly. "What do you want?"
"I was wondering if we could talk."
"I've got the baby so it's not really a good time."
"I'm outside your house will you please open the door?" I said stepping away to see if any lights were on. She was quiet for a few moments and I knew she was thinking.
Finally she sighed and said, "Ok, but we can only talk for five minutes."
"Ok." I said smiling. I walked back to the porch and the door opened to reveal Quinn in a pair of Christmas pajamas.
"You look cute." I said honestly, but she thought I was joking.
"Don't start. Just come in here and say what you need to say." She said stepping away from the door to let me in.
"Thank you." I said stepping in and heading to her living room. I took a deep breath in deciding on what I would say until finally saying what came from my heart. "Last year I sent a note to Finn telling him I loved him and he hasn't talked to me since. I've seen him with girls and he never notices me. I cared for him and he broke my heart. I didn't think I could ever care for someone again." I looked at her and she was listening intently even though I knew she didn't want to hear this. "But I just saw him at the Christmas party and I felt nothing. All I could think was how much I wanted you with me." She smiled and I felt my stomach flip flop.
"I know we've had our differences, but I like you a lot. I watch you with Bailey and my whole body goes warm and I can't stop smiling. I want to watch her grow up but more than anything I want to watch you be her mom. I don't just like you I love you, Quinn and please tell me you'll take me back." I looked at Quinn nervous and when her face didn't show any emotion I became more nervous. She stood up and walked up stairs leaving me standing in her living room with my heart hammering. I fought the tears that I knew were coming and started to head out the door. Just as I was about to walk out Quinn came down the stairs with Bailey in her arms.
"Where are you going?" she asked and I looked up at her confused.
"I was just leaving. I'm sorry I bothered you." I turned back to the door and stopped when I heard Bailey gurgle.
"Rachel, hold on." I turned around and saw Bailey reaching for me. "She doesn't want you to go and neither do I."
"Are you serious?" I said taking Bailey in my arms.
"Yeah, I love you too." She leaned forward with a smile on her lips and lightly placed a kiss on my lips. We broke apart when Bailey started to squirm in my arms.
"Mood killer." I heard Quinn say underneath her breath as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the living room again. I followed knowing that I could never want anything else and that this time I don't have to be afraid of having my heart broken.