Poor little sixteen-year-old Remus Lupin was going insane.
Or, at least, he thought he was. He supposed it could have been an uppity Slytherin that decided to curse one of the famous Marauders, ignoring all common sense and self-preservation. Or it could have been the fumes he had accidentally inhaled from Lestrange's latest Potions mishap. It could even be a prank from one of his clownish roommates, but he sincerely doubted that last one.
No matter how bad they were, they had never even considered making somebody fall in love with Sirius.
Yes, you heard correctly. For the past couple of months, Remus Lupin had been having nigh-uncontrollable...urges...concerning one Sirius Black. Sometimes it was innocent; wanting to curl into his side while they were sitting by the fire, wanting to run his fingers through his soft-looking hair, wanting to let his hand linger on his arm...
But then there were the more distressing urges; wanting to yank him away from the many fangirsl that flirted shamelessly with him and snarl, "Mine!", wanting to smash their mouths together and taste the dark-haired boy, wanting to bend him over any available flat surface and-
Remus smacked himself as his mind began to wander again, drawing curious and incredulous glances from his housemates. He cleared his throat and smiled weakly at them, going back to his essay and swallowing hard as he tried to concentrate. It was destined to be for naught, though, because not a minute after he finally got back into his writing, his four friends erupted through the portrait hole.
First there was James, boisterous as ever as he enthusiastically explained his latest prank idea to the other three. Then there was an exasperated yet visibly-amused Lily, trying in vain to keep James in line as she herself was slowly drawn over to the Prank Side. Then there was Peter, even more subdued and quiet than he usually was as he followed behind and made the occassional comment. And finally, after him was...
Remus felt his mouth go dry as Sirius stepped into the common room, somehow managing to look graceful in Remus' eyes even as he hurried to keep up with James' rapid stream of chatter. His dark hair framed his face perfectly, and his eyes danced with mischief as he planned and plotted with Prongs. They all automatcally gravitated over to him and claimed the rest of the table for their own, plopping down into the empty seats without missing a beat in their scheming.
"So while Minnie's bustling around, trying to clean off all the ickle firsties, a 'random miscast cleaning spell' will 'accidentally' hit her, and BOOM! Opera for all.", James concluded victoriously, looking around in satisfaction at the laughter in everyone's eyes. Of course, Lily, the voice of reason, spoke up after a moment of disapproving looks.
"That's all well and good...", Lily began angrily, but then an uncharacteristically wolfish grin that had Moony howling in approval appeared on her face, and she finished slyly, "...but wouldn't it be better with rap music?".
The table fell silent for all of five seconds.
"Thou art a goddess among us mere mortals!", James cried loudly, kicking his chair out from under himself in order to bow to Lily, "We are honored by thy presence!".
"Indeed!", Sirius cried, throwing his arms up haphazardly, "However did we manage without thine divine council?!".
"Blasphemous! We could not hope to mange without Her Grace's leadership. We merely stumbled around in the dark, bumping blindly into things and puttering out plebian plots.", Remus played along in amusement, casually leaning to the left to avoid Sirius' wildly flailing arms.
"Yes, t'was rather amusing. But now I am here, my lovelies, so bumble no longer!", Lily said softly, patting James' head as one might pat a pet. James hugged her shoulders and drew her close, making a noise of contented affection as he nuzzled into her neck, and Lily laughed daintily at his actions.
Remus chuckled lowly as he wiggled his fingers of his paper, muttering the ancient and rather complicated wandless incantation and feeling his magic acquiesce. Smiling slightly, he calmly scratched a sentence onto the bottom of his parchment before saying, "Hey Lils, think you could help me with something? I'm stuck on that new bit of theory for Charms.".
"Of course, my pet.", Lily said graciously, gently extracting herself from James' embrace and moving around the table to glance at the place Remus had left off.
'SIRIUS IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND MY MIND IS WANDERING PLACES IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T! HELP ME BEFORE I JUMP HIM AND MAKE AN IRREVERSABLE MESS OF THE COMMON ROOM!'
Lily blinked once, expression not changing, then smiled wider and said, "I think I have a book in my dorm that'll help. Come help me look.". She grabbed his arm and moved over to the staircase.
"I thought boys couldn't go up the stairs.", Remus said curiously, momentarily forgetting his plight as Sirius and James automatically shot up to follow.
"That's just what they tell people. What if a male Professor needed to help a student in trouble?", Lily asked sensibly as she guided Remus up the stairs. They held firm for the both of them, but James and Sirius were predictably sent sprawling.
They made it to Lily's dorm without further incident, the girl having Remus lay down on the bed while she sat in a chair to his right with a notepad and pencil. Quills were all well and good, yes, but not the neatest for quick writing.
"So...when did this all start, hm? When did these feelings first crop up?", Lily asked him pensively, pen poised to write down everything he said. Remus glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow.
"Piling the cliches on a little thick, aren't you Evans?", he asked playfully, but Lily only smacked his arm and made a 'get on with it' gesture. Remus sighed and looked back to the bed's canopy as he thought.
"I guess I only really realized it when I saw him on the train this year...", Remus began slowly, but his expression grew pensive as he finished, "...but I think it started earlier than that.".
He fell silent, but Lily only waited. After a pause, he explained, "I'd think about him more than I used to. Not in...that way, at least not yet, but just in general. How well he did with a particularly difficult bit of spellwork for a prank, how his hair would just seem to flow when he was flying...". He stopped and scowled here, adding bitterly, "And his many girlfriends.".
"How did the girlfriends fare in your eyes?", Lily asked him, the seemingly-harmless question really just a rephrasing of 'how did they make you feel?'.
"Not well.", he said with a glare at nothing, "I'd think of how they only liked him because of his looks, because of his family name, or because of his bad-boy image. About how none of them really liked or treated him as a real girlfriend should and would.".
Here he stopped and added, in a low voice he probably thought Lily couldn't hear, "As I would...".
Waiting for him to gather himself together, Lily shuffled her pad's pages around a bit before clearing her throat and posing the next question. "So when, exactly, did you start having these feelings?", she queried tactfully.
Once again he stared at the canopy in thought, then finally voiced tentatively, "End of...fourth year, I guess?".
Lily's pad burst into flames as she paled dramatically.
"Oh dear.", she whispered, ignoring the burning paper in her hand in favor of zipping over to he trunk and flinging it open. She rooted around in it for a minute, flinging things over her shoulder in her panic with Remus watching her warily, before giving a triumphant shriek and hefting a book over her head like a baby lion.
Flipping the cover open, she began flicking through the pages and ignoring Remus' questions of 'what are you doing' until she found the right page. Clearing her throat, she glared Remus into silence before quoting gravely.
"Upon the werewolf's entrance into puberty, the wolf inside will also gain the feelings from the already-confusing time, beginning to lust after any and all other lupines nearby. In the event that no lupines are present, the wolf will settle for canines.", Lily read seriously, glancing up at Remus to take in his ashen face. Grimacing on his behalf, she continued, "The wolf's influence will spur romantic feelings in its host towards the targeted mate, be they male or female, in order to make the lust more bearable.".
She stopped speaking and closed the book, looking up to Remus warily as he sat quite still. Finally, he asked, "So...the wolf is the cause of my feelings for Sirius?", and Lily considered this.
"Er...well, technically the wolf is a part of you, but in essence? Yes.", she confirmed, and Remus nodded in thought before sighing heavily. Lily blinked in surprise, musing, "Wow. You're taking this a lot better than I thought you-".
The window shattered as a chair was thrown through it, thudding onto the ground far below.
"Yes, because that solved everything.", Lily said sarcastically, Summoning the chair back into the tower and repairing both it and the window with a flick of her wand. Remus merely flopped back on the bed facefirst, groaning.
"It was very therapeutic.", his muffled voice said, and Lily rolled her eyes as her friend wallowed in self-pity. Remus was silent for a few seconds, and then his voice came again with a hopeless, "What am I supposed to do, Lils?".
"Finally realize that Sirius is gay?", she suggested, jumping in shock as Remus' head snapped up into a ninety degree angle with his body that she wasn't entirely sure was anatomically possible. Then, in a move that she was entirely sure wasn't anatomically possible, he turned his head to stare directly at her.
"He what the what now?", Remus asked lowly.
"Uh...", Lily faltered, then jumped as Remus twitched and told him hurriedly, "Sirius is obviously gay. He never stays with any girl for long because they're just missing that special something he's looking for, he's as flamboyant as Professor Dumbledore, though in a different way obviously, and I have never seen any male behave the way he does."
Blushing a bit, she added on, "I also may have walked in on him moaning your name. Quite loudly, actually.".
Remus blinked, ever-so-slowly, and then put his head to rights in one smooth move. He pushed himself up and off the bed, walking quite calmly to the door, and Lily hesitated for only a second before following.
The bookish boy made it down the stairs easily, his thoughts focused on only one thing, and Lily skidded in soon after him to see him striding towards Sirius purposefully. She contemplated stopping him, but then she remembered what had happened in the dorms and shuddered.
Then she imagined exactly what was going to happen next, with Sirius and Remus alone in a room, and shuddered for an entirely different reason.
Paying no heed to the conversation Sirius was currently involved in, Remus strode up with a lust-darkened fire in his eyes and hauled Sirius out of his chair by the arm. Ignoring the protests of James and Peter, Remus began dragging Sirius towards the boys dormitories. Contrary to his friends' anger, Sirius was curiously intrigued.
"Where're we goin' Moony?", he asked, a little sparkle igniting in his eyes as he began imagining all the reason Remus would have to talk to him alone, but then of course-
"To shag, obviously. Long and hard.", Remus said with conviction, and Sirius' eyes widened comically as the Common Room went silent.
One of the fourth year girls fainted.
"You...you're not serious, are you?", he asked as the silence stretched on, hardly daring to believe it, and Remus shot his friend a grin over his shoulder.
"No, that's you.", he snickered, continuing on his way without missing a beat, and Sirius blinked before grinning back goofily.
"So I am.", he said, giving a short bark of laughter before quicking his pace to match Remus'. They reached the steps and vanished from sight, leaving a stunned Common Room behind.
Nobody spoke for the longest time, Lily electing to simply keep quiet about her part in all this, before James gave a shrug and said, "Well, as long as they don't involve me.".
"We're using your bed!", Remus' voice called down, and James gave a cry of outrage before flying across the room and up the stairs after them.
Needless to say, Sirius and Remus adored Locking Charms.