Oh my gosh, a new story from me!? That's a shock, isn't it? xD
Regardless, this here is basically a ramble of inner-Ishida and how he is feeling about Ichigo lately. Does that sound too gay for you? Sorry.
One thing that I can always remind myself of is that I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Arrogant, rude, loud, obnoxious, headstrong, unrefined, tempermental... All of them are words that can describe that foolish soul reaper. His violently orange hair, those piercing amber eyes, that ridiculously toned body. Everything about him just gets on my nerves. He knows nothing about nothing and expects to succeed anyway. No, he knows that he will.
Doesn't life require knowledge? Planning?
Yet it always seems to work out for him. Nothing around him seems to matter, though. If only he could see that those of us behind him are watching, always watching...
It pains me to see Inoue-san. She gazes upon his oblivious nature with such devotion, such... passion, that it can make me a bit queasy. The girl fell so far too fast. I can see it in her eyes, in her movements, in the simple way that she reacts to his presence and overbearing persona.
Not that I care. Not about him, anyway.
Even Sado-kun sometimes has a similar expression in his dark, mellow eyes. Why have you been trying to leave us all behind? I thought we were your friends, your support? It just doesn't make sense anymore. It's hard to see such a feeling penetrate one as tempered as he, and yet it has.
Does he even realize the control that he has? The hurt that he manages to give in his so-called protection?
I, too, suffer the effects when I sense him in battle. He is stronger than the others of the Soul Society, stronger that Sado-kun, Inoue-san, and stronger than me. I hate that about him, much like I hate everything else. Regardless of that, I find myself worrying. Come back safely; please stay alive...
For me? No, I don't think that I could care less. It's the others who need you. I don't even want you around. I don't even like you. In fact, I hate you.
However...
Is it possible to hate you so much that I began to understand you? We aren't so different, you and I. Our personalities are like a dissonant chord, constantly crashing against one another because they are so much alike and yet a little too different.
Those hurt the ears, but is it possible that the chord itself enjoys its own sound? Maybe that's impossible; sound waves have no life to them, only in music...
Kurosaki Ichigo...
You are my dissonant chord, the needle that pricks my finger, the darkest point of the shadow in my light... but all of those things are a part of life, are they not?
Maybe it just is that I need you, even if you clash.
If life needs to have problems, I suppose that I could be stuck with a worse one than an ignorant, overbearing soul reaper such as yourself.
So don't leave me behind anymore, Kurosaki Ichigo.
Wow, I'm lame. Full of one-shots. xD Read and review if you so desire! I hope you at least liked it a little bit. I did put some effort into this. Some. x)