A Halloween fic. Hey, I promised I'd try. A friendly warning, though: lots of sarcasm and annoying kids. Set somewhere between seasons 1&2 (like we have any others.)

Artemis is lying on the couch with a box of tissues in front of her, watching some crummy old black-and-white horror movie with zombies chasing people around. She sighs in annoyance and flicks through random channels, hitting the buttons rather furiously. She sneezes for the twelfth time that hour and her head feels like it's going to explode again. All she wants is a nice hot cup of tea or some pills or anything that will make her feel better. Paula isn't home, and frankly, Artemis has no idea where she went. Cursing under her breath, she reaches for another tissue and her phone starts vibrating somewhere underneath her, scaring her more than any of those horror movies. She quickly locates it and smiles when she sees the caller ID. Or rather, the photo of the caller. It's the picture of her and Dick back when he was a freshman and she thought he was creepy. Not that he isn't creepy now. Just a little bit.

She answers dryly. She knows he wants to drag her to a party, so her sickness is kind of a curse and a blessing at the same time. "What do you want, birdboy?"

"Just checking if you're ready for tonight's party," she feels a smirk in his voice.

"Not going. I'm sick."

"Please. You'd tell me anything just so you wouldn't go to the party."

"Dick, I'm not kidding. I'm seriously sick."

"Why? Because Wally's going to be there with Linda?" She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath – well, she tries to take a deep breath since her nose won't allow her otherwise. He chuckles at her sniffs on the other side of the phone. "Are you crying?"

"Have you ever seen me cry?" She says in a threatening voice.

"I was being sarcastic, Miss Nobody-knows-I-cry-when-I'm-alone-except-Dick-who-spies-on-me-every-night," he says quickly and her eyes widen.

"You what?"

"Nothing, I swear. I'm coming over, you better be ready."

"I already told you, I'm-"

And the conversation breaks off. Artemis lets out a yell of frustration and throws her phone on the table. It slides on the slippery wood and falls down on the floor, creating a thumping sound and its batteries pop out. She lies back into her previous position and tries to ignore everything – the noise of the TV, the fact that Dick is coming over, the fact she can't have a cup of tea because she can't bring herself to get up.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sound of knocking on the door. "It's me, 'Mis!"

What, did you travel by plane? She puts the blanket over her head. "I'm not going!"

"Fine, if you insist I'll let myself in."

Crap. She forgot he knows where they keep their spare keys. She never told him, he figured it out by himself and sometimes he'd just waltz into her room just to annoy her. The doors open with a familiar sound and she hears his footsteps – he stops right next to the couch.

"Come on, 'Mis. I bet your costume is better than mine," he says in a sweet tone.

Artemis pulls down the blanket to show her costume. Dick tries to hold back laughter when he sees her – her blond hair usually so beautiful is now messy, her nose is as red as a bell pepper and her eyes constantly tear up. She's looking rather pale, but her glare makes up for it all.

"So… you're going as Rudolph the reindeer?"

"Not. Funny," she replies throwing a blue pillow at him, then takes a better look at him. "And you are…"

"A troll," he grins. His costume is completely green – yucky green – and ripped at some places. He isn't wearing any make-up, though; she knows it's not his style. Instead, he's holding an ugly big head under his right arm.

"Lame. You're always a troll, except now you're ugly."

"Oh, so I'm usually pretty?"

"Don't you have a party to go to?" She puts the blanket over her once more.

"Nah."

Her head pops out again and she raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean nah?"

"I brought a scary movie," he grins and jumps on the couch and would have crushed her legs if she hadn't moved them in time. "In case you were telling the truth about being sick."

"Every channel is showing some sort of a scary movie," she grunts.

"Yeah, but are they showing Chucky the possessed doll who kills?"

"Seriously? You want to watch a doll on a killing spree?"

"No, zombies who go after helpless women are so much more fun."

"Fine. But make me a cup of tea first."

"Yes, master," he bows humbly and walks to the kitchen. She's hoping he missed the hint of gratitude in her eyes, but he always knew she had a spot soft for him, her little birdboy. He smirks to himself when he hears her sneeze and curse at the same time, and almost breaks a cup he's holding. He's already put the kettle on the stove, and while waiting for the water to start boiling he looks around. The first thing he notices is that she kept the wrinkled slip of paper - she said she was going to throw away - with their names on it and all the jokes they came up with that day. It brings an honest smile to his face.

"Hey, birdboy! The water's been boiling for a minute now!"

"Apologies, master," he yells back with a smile on his face. Well, this is how Alfred must feel…

Dick walks in the living room. Artemis is now sitting with her legs crossed under her, in her favorite black T-shirt with Spiderman and the pink pajamas bottom, her tiresome eyes look at him with annoyance. He smirks with the saucer in his hands, and on it steam rising from the cup and many cookies she adores but won't admit. Her face lights up a bit, and he places the saucer on the table then sits right next to her.

"The tea's hot," he warns her.

"Gee, Sherlock, way to go," she replies mockingly taking one of the chocolate chip cookies. "Megan?"

"Trick or treat," he grins. "What can I say, she was feeling generous."

They sit there in silence for a couple of minutes. Gray eyes are fixed back on the black-and-white movie, not really taking in the action. Dick wriggles next to her, clears his throats and finally glares at her until he sighs in annoyance. "Turn on the DVD if you must," she mutters and takes a sip of her tea.

Just as he's about to do so, someone knocks on the door and Artemis jumps a little, spilling some tea over her T-shirt. They exchange a confused look. "Trick or treat!" Dick smirks at her and she rolls her eyes. "Where's the candy?"

"What candy?" She raises an eyebrow and continues to drink her tea calmly, not even paying attention to the stain.

"You seriously weren't expecting kids knocking asking for a treat?"

"Well trick them or something! I'm not in the Halloween spirit."

"I can see. Well then, the cookies will have to go," he says approaching the table.

"No!" She yells putting down the tea and grabbing the bowl of cookies. "These are mine!" Her eyes flash with anger.

"Artemis. They're kids."

"Well, so are we."

"Right. Give me the cookies, 'Mis."

"Hello! Is there anyone home? The light is on!"

"Grayson, if you take these I'm going to-"

"What? Give me flu?" He takes the bowl from her after a brief fight and puts the head on. "Besides, how many of them can there be? She crosses her arms, pouts like a child and doesn't even look at him. He opens the door to find six little kids dressed as Batman, Superman, Green Arrow, Flash, Wonder Woman and… Joker. "Aren't heroes so last year?" He asks jokingly handing them cookies.

"Vampires are so last year," says Wonder Woman and measures him from head to toes. "And trolls are so last decade."

"You should have gone as a superhero," Superman shakes his head in disapproval.

"Who would you be?" Asks Flash shyly.

"Hmm, haven't thought about it. Maybe Robin, the Boy Wonder?"

"Pfft. Robin is a sidekick. You have to choose a real hero," says the Joker.

"You're a villain."

"W-well… Villains go after heroes, not sidekicks!"

"I hear Robin's actually quite good at his job."

"Yeah right," replies, ironically, the Batman.

"Dick, what is taking you so long?"

"Oooh, is that your girlfriend calling you?" Wonder Woman strikes again.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"You're not even scary," she says sticking her tongue out.

"You want to see something scary?"

Dick turns around only to see Artemis behind him, her hair all over her face, her nose as red as ever, with a knife in her hand and a white sheet over her pajamas. He can't help but laugh at her while the kids scream and run away, calling for their mothers.

"Some heroes they are," she grunts and fixes her hair.

"Why'd you get up? You're sick!"

"You were fighting with 8-year-olds. Someone had to do something," she smirks and walks back to the couch. "Now, are we going to watch that movie or what?"

He closes the door and takes off the head, astonishment visible in his blue eyes and she eyes him curiously.

"I am not opening the doors to trick-or-treaters. Ever again." Dick takes off the troll suit and is now in a blue shirt and jeans that fit him oh so well.

He puts in the DVD and sits next to her and, much to his surprise, the tough archer he knows snuggles in his arms, resting her head on his left shoulder. He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.

"That wasn't scary at all," Dick yawns and stretches out his legs. Artemis is, however, clutching on his shirt, her eyes widened and focused on the credits as they go by. "Oh, you have got to be kidding! You thought that was scary? I've faced scarier things!"

"Shut up, Grayson," she mutters letting go of him.

"If I had a nickel for every time you shrieked," he says amused.

"I swear, if you ever tell anyone – anyone - about this, I am going to haunt you, and then after I die, my ghost is going to come and haunt you and you will forever be… haunted."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, 'Mis," he grins.

She throws a glance at him and stares. He raises an eyebrow, she's still staring. Dick doesn't really have a choice so he gives her a smirk before leaning in and presses his lips against hers, feeling the taste of chocolate on them. She pulls away after a couple of seconds and stares at him again.

"At least now you have a reason to stare," he mumbles.

"Why did you do that?"

"Let's be honest here. You wanted me to do that."

"I so did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not! And you'll get sick as well!"

"Totally worth it."

"Dick!"

The credits have stopped rolling on the screen and now it's completely black, but for some reason they both stare at it. He starts cracking his knuckles to which she throws a glare, but doesn't say anything.

"You have to admit, you enjoyed it," he says out of nowhere.

The corners of her mouth go up a little. "Maybe a little."

"Ha. A little."

"Oh shut up!"

"I brought another movie," he says pulling it somewhere out of his costume.

"If it involves dolls, I'll break your bones."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the poet we all love so much!" The raven-head says clapping his hands as sarcastically as possible. She bows at his applause.

"But seriously," he adds. "It's not scary. It's Scary Movie 3."

"What an oxymoron. Wait, let me rephrase that. What a moron." A smirk spreads on her face as he frowns at her.

He puts the movie down on the table and sits back on the couch, leaning into her face. She wrinkles her nose in disgust and the smirk reappears on his face, melting the frown away. They stare at each other just like that – it's a battle of blue and gray. She finally gives in and changes her position – puts her legs under her so she's kneeling - and kisses him passionately, curling her fingers into his hair. He wraps his arms around her and mutters with satisfaction: "I thought you enjoyed this a little."

"I lied," she replies as he kisses her red nose.

"I know, Rudolph."

"Get over yourself, Sherlock."

"Costumes for next year?" Dick asks as she snuggles back into his arms.

"Mhm," she answers with a purr.

We don't even celebrate Halloween and I hear physics calling me...

And yes, it's a lame trick but I had nothing better. Deal with it.

Hope you liked it!