This Doesn't Have to Be Love
Written by Snapegirlkmf & CJ Moliere
Prequel to
Unexpected Surprise
1
~ A Deal For The Dark One ~
Rumplestiltskin, or as others knew him as, the Dark One was horrified when his coach came to a stop in front of the gates of his castle and he could see blue smoke billowing out the open windows of his laboratory. He jumped out and teleported into his lab, coughing as the smoke entered his lungs.
"What the…?" He waved his hand and the smoke vanished leaving his fourteen year old son Baelfire standing before him, his head bowed in shame and the lab a shambles behind him. "Bae! How many times have I told you NOT to be touching anything in here? What in the flaming hells were you doing?"
"Ummm…."
"I'm waiting…" The sorcerer tapped his foot impatiently.
"I was ahh…. "
"You what? Wanted to blow up the castle? Wanted to turn my hair white? Drive me insane? Go on tell me!"
"I was…ummm…makingsomethingforagirl…" he blurted.
"Would you mind repeating that a bit slower?" his father demanded.
"I was trying to make something for a girl," Bae replied.
Rumple sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew this day would come sooner or later but he would have preferred it to be later. His little boy was becoming a man and taking an interest in the opposite sex. It was time for The Talk, the same talk he should've had with his own father but Malcolm cared for nothing but having a good time and Rumple was certain he fathered bastards in every village in the seven kingdoms, ruining many a good girl with his snakelike charm. Fortunately the spinner he apprenticed with sat him down and explained the facts to him from a male's perspective while the spinsters discussed other issues such as love and marriage. Having heard both perspectives on the issue, Rumple grew to manhood treating his wife as an equal, not as a brood mare. It hadn't quite worked out like he wanted it to but he did have a wonderful son to show for it.
He looked around the messy lab, shaking his head. "This disaster we will discuss later but for now, there are other matters we need to talk about. Come downstairs."
Bae followed, apprehensive. He knew he deserved to be in trouble for destroying his papa's lab, but he hated making Rumple angry at him . . . or worse disappointed in him. And a part of him feared the other's temper, because as the Dark One, Rumple had devastating abilities at his command now . . .and he could do much worse than send him to bed without supper or spank him.
Rumple gestured to the long table where he placed the two chairs so that they would be sitting directly across from each other.
Bae sat down, wondering when the yelling and screaming was going to start. He opened his mouth to apologize.
"You can do your pleading later, Bae. It won't get you out of your punishment."
"But, Papa, I really didn't . . ." he began and then shut his mouth at a sharp Look from his parent. He knew then he was doomed.
"Later," Rumple insisted patiently. "Now...this girl you were messing up my lab to impress…who is she and what exactly were you planning on making for her?"
Bae wanted the floor to swallow him. He couldn't believe his father was asking him THAT question! "Uh . . . she . . . her name's Andrielle . . .she just moved into the village below the castle . . . she's . . . was . . . a duke's daughter . . . but now she's in hiding cause King George's after her parents .. . we met one day when I went to sell some thread. She liked the blue one . . .and she mentioned she used to have . . err . . . some perfume . . . that smelled like melons and honeysuckle . . .so I thought I could make her some . . ."
"I see...and you forgot my strict instructions that you are not to be in my lab while I'm gone. Had you actually ASKED me, I would've made the perfume for you."
Bae bit his lip. "I . . .I didn't want you to know!" he blurted. "And I wanted to do it myself . . ." He didn't dare bring up the real reason why he couldn't seem to read things right, because the words looked all muddled-upside down and backwards. He didn't want his papa thinking he was stupid . . .even though he knew he was.
"Son, I know you wanted to give her something you made yourself but fooling around with something you don't understand is not the best way to do it. Had I not come home when I did, I don't even want to think about how much worse it could've been. You are all I have in this world, Bae and if I'd lost you...Dark One or not...I'd be nothing more than dust..."
Hearing those words made Bae feel terribly guilty. He'd expected a lecture on leaving things alone, not worry over harming himself. "Papa, I'm sorry . . ."
"I want your word that next time you will ask me first." He held out a hand. "Do we have a deal?"
Bae shook it. "Deal."
"Remember Bae, no breaking our deal...or you will be scrubbing this castle from top to bottom. Understand?"
"Yes, Papa. And I'm lucky I'm not twelve or I'd be getting my butt smacked too," he admitted ruefully.
"That you would...five swats and one for remembrance. And you know how I DO NOT like to do that."
"I know . . .you always say it hurts you more than it does me. But you aren't the one who can't sit down for awhile!" his son made a face.
"Bae, do you think I didn't have my backside tanned when I was a lad? I did...and it was not with my father's hand. And it never hurt him a bit. He enjoyed punishing me even when I didn't deserve it."
Bae stiffened. "What a prick! I'm glad I never knew him!"
Rumple gave him another Look. "Do you want to taste soap? Mind the mouth."
Bae covered his mouth. "No! Sorry, I forgot!" The soap his father washed his mouth out with was utterly disgusting!
"That's better. Now about this Andrielle. You've been spending a lot of time with her while I'm away?"
"Uh . . . yeah . . . but I'm not . . . doing anything with her, Papa. Not THAT. We just . . . walk through the market sometimes . . . and I buy her pastries and . . .we eat lunch together. She's lonely . . . she misses her parents and her home and . . .we're friends . . ." He sighed longingly. "She likes to climb trees and she can run as fast as any boy and she's got eyes like a cat's, and she's pretty . . ."
"Do you know what THAT is Bae?" He dreaded the answer.
Boys were growing up much faster than when he was a lad and learning the facts far too early for his taste.
"Uh . . . it's when you kiss a girl . . .and . . .then . . .you touch her . . . err . . . breasts . . ." His face was red now. "And Alan the cooper's son said then you go into the hayloft and have a good roll in the hay . . .and it's fun . . ."
"No...no...no...NO! You DO NOT do any of those things with a girl until you are properly wed...except for kissing. That you can do."
"But then why do all the boys say they can't wait to do it with their girlfriends . . .?"
"Gods and hells! They probably have bastards in every household!" Rumple moaned.
Bae's mouth dropped open. "They . . . have kids? But . . . I don't wanna have kids yet! I'm only fourteen!"
"That is what happens when you let your physical urges override your common sense!"
"They never told me that. They said . . .I'd be a man when I finally stuck it in some girl . . ." he admitted awkwardly.
Rumple groaned. "That's because IT is what they're thinking with and not the brains they were born with."
"Then . . . the girls don't like it? Because Bart the miller's 'prentice said his girl wants to do it all night . . ." Bae blurted, then he wanted to crawl under the table.
"I'm not saying they don't. I'm saying they shouldn't be doing those things until they're married. Every action has a consequence, Bae and having a child out of wedlock carries a stigma you cannot escape. I should know," he said bitterly.
"Why?" asked his son curiously.
"Because my parents never wed. Rutted like animals as these kids do now and here I am."
Bae almost passed out. "You mean . . .?"
"I'm a bastard, Bae. I've been called that my whole life, along with many other names."
"How come your papa didn't marry your mama? Didn't he love her?"
"Love?" Rumple laughed harshly. "My father knew nothing about that. All he wanted was a quick roll in the hay as you put it and ruined my mama's chances of ever finding a good husband. Had she not died giving birth to me I have no doubt she would've been as miserable as he was."
"He sounds like a real horse's rear end!" Bae said hotly.
"He was," Rumple admitted. "Your mama...we were happy for a bit...but she never agreed with my decision to come home to you instead of fighting in the Ogre Wars."
"I don't remember a lot . . .'cept she was always yelling at you, and once she threw a plate at your head. And she was always tellin' me to go off and play and she left me alone all the time to see her friends at the bar." Bae's face suddenly grew hard. "Papa, she was . . .meeting guys there, wasn't she? How come, when she had a nice guy like you at home? That damn ho!"
"Not everyone saw me as a nice guy, Bae. I left the battle. My reason was irrelevant."
"I'm glad, Papa! Glad you did . . . else I'd had nobody but Mama . . . and she only cared about getting it on with some jerk who'd just come off the boat!" his son cried. "Least you cared about me."
"And I've never regretted it. I would do it again if I had to."
For there was nothing that mattered to him more than his son. He'd sacrificed everything for Bae, including his own soul.
"When am I going to meet this Andrielle or does she fear me like everyone else in this village?"
Bae shook his head. "I told her she could come up and see you this weekend. If her brother says so. He's her guardian since her mama and papa aren't here. His name's Marcus, and he's like twenty-six or something. He works for the archivists, he's a scribe and a mapmaker, since he knows how to read and write and survey. Andi says they have some money put away, but they gotta work like ordinary people so's nobody knows who they are." His son explained.
"She says she only told me cause I looked like I knew how to keep a secret and nobody'd dare hurt the son of the Dark One," Bae related. "She's real worried about her folks, says they couldn't leave, they had to stay and make sure their people got out, and they sent her and Mark here for safety . . but it's been months and she hasn't heard from them."
Rumple concentrated, letting his sight guide him to the answer he sought. He saw the ruins of a castle not far away from their own village and a couple locked in the remains of a main dining hall, the floor stained with spilled blood.
"She won't, Bae," he confessed sadly.
"Why? What did you See?" he cried, alarmed. He'd learned to recognize a Seeing trance when he saw it.
"They were attacked not long after the children were sent away. I'm sorry, Bae..."
"Oh, gods! Papa, how am I gonna tell her?"
"We will go this afternoon. I don't relish the thought of telling them...their parents' deaths were not pleasant."
The childrens' mother suffered the worst. She'd been raped repeatedly by King George's troops before they killed her.
Bae nodded sadly. "Maybe . . . it's a good thing I couldn't make that perfume. She won't want it now once she hears this."
"No. She will need time to grieve."
"This sucks, Papa! Why'd George kill them? Andi says her papa was his councilor . . .and all he ever did was say the king oughta change his policy on some issues."
"No king likes to have his authority or his competence questioned though most of them should." Rumple muttered.
"Stupid b-" Bae began, then recalled who was there listening and bit off what he was going to say.
And Rumple vowed he was going to teach those raping bastards, now that he knew who they were a lesson they would NEVER forget free of charge.
"Now...this is one lesson I want you to NEVER forget Baelfire. No matter how angry you are at woman…you NEVER raise a hand to her nor do you take her by force. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir," Bae said. "I'd never do that anyhow, Papa. Any man who hits a girl's a coward."
"Precisely."
"B'sides, I still remember how you tanned my butt that time I pushed Morraine in the mud and pulled her hair." he recalled. He'd been five and gotten into a quarrel with his next door neighbor's little girl.
"And I recall telling you this then, didn't I?"
"Yeah. You said it twice . . .during and after you spanked me." Bae grimaced. It had been one of the few times his gentle spinner father had raised a hand to him . . .or lost his temper.
As soon as he heard about the incident Rumple was furious with his son. He'd turned the boy over his knee and given him five hard swats, one for each year of his life and two for remembrance.
He could still hear himself ranting while he did it."You never...ever assault a girl, Baelfire! What came over you...I taught you better, dammit!"
"…Not being able to sit for a while wised you up." Rumple said to his now teenaged son.
"Umm . . . yeah it did," his son said ruefully. He'd never hurt a girl again ever, no matter how mad she made him.
"You keep that in mind and to not have relations with a girl until you're wed and I won't be afraid you'll be a father before your time and make me a grandfather before mine."
"I won't, Papa. I promise," Bae said sincerely. Then he added cheekily, "Cause I wouldn't want you to drop dead."
"Ha ha...smartass." He sighed. "And now we have to discuss punishment for the little mess you made. I think cleaning the entire second floor should do it...and no cutting corners."
"Aww, Papa . . .c'mon . . .it wasn't like I MEANT to blow stuff up . . ."
"Still...you need to learn not to mess with things you don't understand. Shall we make it two floors?"
"No, sir!"
"Good." He summoned their cloaks.
While he was putting his on a dove flew through the window with a note tied to its foot.
"Damnation!" he swore and waved his hand, the dove turning back into his human servant Alexander.
"Who is this one from?" he demanded.
"Lord Maurice of Avonlea, my lord," the shapeshifter answered.
"Now what's HE want?" muttered the sorcerer and unfolded the note. He scowled as he read it. "Damned ogres!"
"They're desperate, my lord. The ogres are within a hundred miles of their village."He reached into his pocket and took out a purse of gold coins. "They've offered this."
Rumple snorted. "I make gold, Alex. I don't need theirs. I'll make some other deal with them when I get there."
"Papa...do you have to go...now?"
Rumple looked pained. He put a hand on Bae's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Bae. But the news about Andrielle's parents will keep another day. This won't. You know what the ogre advance guard does to helpless people. They'll be torn limb from limb and eaten if I don't go help them."
Despite being the Dark One, Rumple did not enjoy carnage for carnage's sake . . . or the deaths of innocent people . .. especially children.
"Okay...but don't be gone so long like you were the last time..."
"We had fun didn't we, Baelfire?" Alex questioned.
"Guess so," the boy mumbled. "But you don't stay long either…you have your family to go to..."
"All right, lad. I'll be home as quick as I can. In the meantime . . .you clean that floor and that mess in my lab . . .and gods forbid you touch anything else while I'm gone . . . I'll make you scrub the floor until your fingers are worn down to the bone, y' hear?"
"Yes sir!" Bae saluted.
Rumple shook his head. "Bae, you're lucky I love you." Then he reached out and hugged his son. "Behave!" He gave the sassy boy a smart whack on the behind as he drew away.
Page~*~*~*~Break
Lady Belle paced the floor of the war room nervously, clutching a book to her chest. Just before midnight she'd gone out to the garden and whispered the words that would summon the Dark One to them.
Instead of the famed wizard, a dove appeared on the bench beside her. Disappointed she went back into the castle to rejoin her father, Gaston and Lancelot, the dove flying behind her. Suddenly it turned into a human.
"You called upon the Dark One, mademoiselle?"
"That's not the Dark One!" Gaston grumbled.
"I am not but I am his servant. What is it you require?"
"Here is my request...and my offer." Sir Maurice informed him, handing him a parchment and a purse of gold."
"I will deliver your message." the man said, turned back into a bird and flew off.
"If only he'd come..."Gaston was saying.
"But he didn't, did he?"
"He could be on his way right now, Papa. You've heard the stories...he's a bit of a showman."
She meant it as an insult.
Suddenly they heard a giggle behind them.
Belle turned around. "As I said...a showman...more like a show off."
Maurice and Gaston stared at her, their mouths agape. "Belle, my gods..."
"Oh, I've heard worse, dearie," Rumple snickered. "Now what was it you wanted? Oh yes-something like-Help! Help! We're dying! Can you save us?" he mocked shrilly. "Answer-yes, I can . . .for a price."
He was sprawled casually in Maurice's chair, his boots on the arm rest.
"We sent you a purse of gold." Maurice reminded him.
"And that is my father's chair!" Belle snapped. She swatted at his legs to knock them off the arms of the chair while her father and fiancé feared she'd be blasted where she stood.
The auburn haired blue eyed beauty wasn't in the least bit intimidated by the former wool spinner whose claim to power came from a dagger.
But Rumple merely smirked at her, liking the novelty of someone who didn't cringe on the floor for once in his presence. The girl had spunk . . .and though she didn't know it, he'd never hurt her. The imp rolled his eyes. "Gods and hells, man! I MAKE gold." He waved the purse away. "No . . .my price . . ." his eyes narrowed as he suddenly came up with a brilliant idea. " . . .is HER!" He pointed to Belle.
"No!" Maurice protested.
Gaston reached for Belle, she shoved him away.
"As what, Dark One? Your concubine?" Belle demanded.
"The lady is engaged...to me!" Gaston declared possessively.
"What do you want-a medal or a monument?" Rumple quipped, not liking the knight's tone. He spoke of the girl like she was his horse. "No, dearie. I'm not looking for love." He waved a hand dismissively. "It's so overrated. What I need . . . is a caretaker for my son and my rather large estate, as I am often away."
"You have a son?" Belle asked.
"That's beside the point. You're NOT going. He's lying. He wants you to be his whore."
"I will not lift my skirts for ANY man...married or not unless it is MY choice!" Belle raged at her fiancé.
"Belle..." Maurice moaned. Her boldness was going to be the death of them all.
Rumple clapped his hands. "Well said, dearie! And I don't ravish women, married or otherwise. On THAT you can bet your life!"
His eyes narrowed. "And anyone who says otherwise . . .shall quickly be crawling his way along the ground on his belly." He shook a finger at Gaston. "It's not nice to spread rumors!"
Belle chuckled, enjoying seeing her fianceé being brought down a notch or two.
"Now . . . that's my offer. Do we have a deal?"
"Belle, you cannot go with this...beast. Get out!" Maurice yelled, pointing at the door.
Rumple put a hand to his heart dramatically. "A beast? ME?"
"Yes...we've all heard the stories and they're not all stories. I won't have my daughter being corrupted by the likes of you!"
"Papa...maybe we should discuss this..."
"It's not open for discussion. We'll find another way. Now you get out…leave!"
Rumple rose. "As you wish. But don't come crying to me to save you when the ogres are biting your heads off to make a sandwich."
"No, wait!" Belle cried
He turned. "You have something to say? Better hurry, dearie. The ogres are coming! The ogres are coming!" he singsonged.
"I will go with you," she declared bravely.
"Belle!"
"No one decides my fate but me. I will go."
"It's forever, dearie." Rumple said quietly, testing her resolve.
"I will be the caretaker for your castle and mind your son and I will not share your bed? Do I have your word on it, Dark One?" she challenged.
"You will be exactly what I said," he answered. "And your virtue is safe from me. I don't do trophy wives."
"Do I have your word on it?" she repeated it.
"Yes. Satisfied?" he asked tartly.
"Then you have mine. I will go with you...forever."
"Deal struck!" he waved a hand. "Your ogre problem is gone."
"Belle, please...think about this..." Maurice pleaded.
"Father, Gaston...it's been decided."
Rumple eyed Maurice with something like pity and murmured, "You may write to her every month. My servant will deliver your letters."
"Our betrothal is off. No way I'll take his leavings!" Gaston sneered.
"I didn't want to marry you anyway you reject from a horse's ass!" Belle shouted.
"I don't blame you," Rumple chuckled. "If it were me, I'd hang myself first! All brawn, no brains, and a pickle between his legs! Uggghh!" he made a face.
"May I...visit her from time to time?" Maurice asked sadly.
"You may . . .we'll discuss that later," Rumple agreed. "Once she's settled."
"At least mine works you impotent lizard!" Gaston spat.
Belle frowned at her former fiance. "You may want to bite your tongue, Gaston, unless you want to lose it."
Suddenly a large knife appeared in the Dark One's hand. And Gaston was suddenly hoisted off his feet and dangling in the air helplessly. His eyes narrowed to slits, Rumple approached. "Until I cut it off, dearie!" he snarled, pressing the knife to his groin. "Now . . . mind your tongue . . . or else you'll be singing soprano in the choir!"
Belle placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's not worth it..."
"Go on...you two deserve each other! Filthy whore willing to spread your legs for a monster!"
"If you talk about my girl that way one more time you won't have to worry about the Dark One. I'll skin your ass myself!" Maurice drew his sword.
"You're right. Blood all over the floor . . . it's a bitch to get out of the carpet." Rumple sighed. He looked at Maurice. "You wanna play stick the sword in this horse's ass? Be my guest!" He drew back and the knife vanished. "Ten points if you hit a vital organ."
"Papa...Rumplestiltskin!" Belle cried.
"What?" they asked.
She glared at them. "Just...throw him out, please?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to change him into something? A rose perhaps? He'll smell nice and sweet . . . and shut up into the bargain," Rumple chuckled wickedly.
"No. I don't. He'll be miserable enough now that he won't have my family's fortune to support him."
"Very well." Then he turned to Gaston who was still dangling in midair. "GET OUT-foul varlet!" he bellowed.
A giant-sized boot appeared and kicked Gaston in the backside, sending him flying out of the room.
Rumple dusted his hands off. "Kicked HIS ass!"
Maurice howled with laughter as did Lancelot."That is the biggest boot up the ass I've ever seen!" Maurice said, brushing tears from his eyes.
"You're nothing like I thought you were...and I'm glad..." Belle said softly.
The Dark One harrumphed. "Good, because now you have to live with me."
"But you really can be as dark as they said with that sense of humor of yours..."
"Darker, dearie. Much darker," he grinned.
She hugged her father goodbye. "I'll see you soon...and write to me often!"
"I will," he vowed.
"Get your things, mademoiselle. I promised Baelfire I'd be back soon . . . he's probably running poor Alex ragged . . .and hopefully he's done his chores or else someone's going to have no dessert tonight." Rumple sighed.
"Chores? Is he being punished? Baelfire...oh I know him...that's the boy who has trouble reading!"
"Uh . . . yes . . . he does have some difficulties . . .but he's a bright boy," Rumple replied somewhat defensively. "Yes, he's in trouble for nearly blowing himself and my lab sky high, the scamp!"
"Oh, I didn't mean that he isn't a bright boy. I've seen him in the village...I read to children there and I noticed him struggling. I offered to help him but he refuses."
"Perhaps you'll have a better opportunity now," Rumple mused. "He thinks I don't know about it, but I do. I've offered to tutor him myself but he won't let me, the stubborn imp!"
They heard a crash in the doorway.
"Wh...What is HE doing here?" a young woman cried.
"Marie...Belle has agreed to be the caretaker for the Dark One's estate...and his son," Maurice explained.
The other woman grinned.
"Is that all? I would take care of him too."
The young woman sauntered up to him, studying his profile.
"Anyone ever tell you how good you look in leather?"
"Marie!" Belle blushed.
Rumple chuckled. "Not lately, dearie!" He winked at her.
"Good because I'd be willing..."
"Marie, stop behaving like a strumpet in a tavern and fetch Belle's things!" Maurice snapped.
The lady in waiting reached back and pinched Rumple's backside.
"My gods..." Maurice groaned. "As saucy as your mother..."
The Dark One raised an eyebrow. "And extra spicy too. I'm flattered . . . most women run screaming by now."
"I'm not most women...you ever change your mind...you know where to find me..."
"Marie!"
"I'm going!" she cried, throwing up her hands. "I'm already ruined so it doesn't make a damned bit of difference who I tumble with!"
"And when I find out who that was he'll be dead!" Maurice growled.
"You just booted him out the door."
Belle gasped.
"T...That...bastard!"
"I can bring him back," Rumple offered. "You can use him as target practice. You can hang him on the wall there . . ." he pointed to a large blank space.
"Takes too much energy that I'd rather spend dancing or with my little Gisella."
"Say goodbye to her for me please, Marie." Belle asked.
"I will. Just try to come to the village for storytime if you can. She doesn't want anyone else to tell them to her."
The other woman left the room and returned minutes later with a small bag. She threw her arms around Belle.
"If you ever get that man to take you to bed...I want details..." she whispered.
Belle blushed, "Marie! That's not what..."
She could barely look her new master in the face when they were leaving.
"Here." Rumple gestured and a lovely doll appeared in his hands, complete with a beautiful blue dress and brown hair. "It's a trouble doll. Tell your little girl to tell it all her troubles and it'll make her feel better." He knew all too well how cruel other children could be.
"She'll love it...thank you." Marie said softly. "And remember what I said Belle...details!"
She wanted to sink into the floor wondering what the Dark One thought of her now.
Rumple took her arm. "Come, my lady. The Dark Castle awaits."
She wondered what his son would think of her.
Then he gestured with a flourish and purple smoke billowed up and transported them away.