Oh looky thar! A story! Lol

Okie dokie! SO! Here's the deal:

I wrote the first four chapters about a year ago. MY WRITING HAS GOTTEN A LOT BETTER SO BEAR WITH ME!

If I get a positive response, I'll update. If not…I dunno.

Rated T for maybe some mild cursing and an awkward shower scene in chapter 2, but don't worry, no nudity.

THIS IS NOT SLASH! THIS IS ZADF! F! NOT ROMANCE, FRIENDSHIP!

I WILL UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WRITE ZADR!

Slash….I have no problem with gays but Jhonen's stuff? No…just no….

Chapter 1

Dib's feet were sore as he pounded down the sidewalk. It was dark and as big a hurry as he was in, he couldn't remember why he hadn't taken the 5 minutes it would have taken to grab a flashlight or even his bike. He was irritated with himself for following his first impulse as he took a left into the cul-de-sac a mile from his house. He skidded to a halt in front of the narrow blue house with the long lawn and conspicuous sign on the fence that said EARTH in all capitals. He ran up the walk and began banging on the door impatiently; not giving it a second thought that it was 2:00 in the morning. When no response came from inside, Dib yelled out loud,

"ZIM! Hey! ZIM! GIR! SOMEONE OPEN THE DO-"

"SHUT-UP! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?" A grumpy neighbor shouted, interrupting him. Dib decided not to respond. He pressed his ear to the door, listening for any indication that his nemesis was alive, which he might not have been, considering what he had just seen. After about 5 minutes he heard a familiar cry.

"WOOOOOOOO! " Coming from behind the door. Dib rushed to the window, "Gir! HEY! GIR! OPEN THE DOOR!" He yelled rapping his fist on the glass. He could see the small blue robot stop screaming and running in the middle of the living room. "Piggy?" He asked the empty darkness. "Is that you?" "No! GIR! The window! Look up!" Gir turned his blue eyes towards Dib. "Hey! It's Dib! Hi, Dib!" "Hi, Gir, open the door." Dib spoke slowly, as if explaining something to a small child. Gir hesitated "Tacos?" He asked randomly after a minute or two. "Fine! Fine, Gir, there are tacos outside! OPEN THE DOOR!" A stupid grin spread across Gir's face that almost looked demonic in the shadows. Dib suppressed a shudder. "YAY!" The robot shrieked as he ran to the door. "TACOS!" He yelled as he ran down the street. Dib watched the neighbor shout at Gir out his window again. Gir stopped screaming but ran silently with his arms in the air and his toung hanging out of his mouth. Dib shrugged and slipped inside.

Dib looked around. An eerie picture hung on the wall of a balding creepy monkey. He shivered. He wandered into the kitchen. "Zim?" He asked quietly. He looked around. "Why is there a toilet in the kitchen?" He wondered aloud. He walked over. He pushed down on the lever. There was a whoosh and a horribly strong wind tunnel began pulling Dib down towards the empty bowl. The hole at the bottom widened as he was sucked downwards headfirst. He zipped through the clear green plastic tubes, passing other networks of similar alien transport devices. He landed headfirst on a hard, metal floor. "Ow." He muttered, straightening his glasses on his nose. He could hear a metallic clicking from across the room. Dib's forehead had been scraped and he wiped the blood from his eyes. Zim was leaning over a computer with his PAK legs extended and was typing away furiously on a touch screen.

"GIR! I TOLD YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH THE ELEVATOR SYSTEM!" Barked Zim. "Pick somewhere to be upstairs or in the l-"Zim turned around. "DIB-STINK WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASE? IS THIS SOME PLOT TO FOIL ME AND MY AWESOMNESS ONCE AGAIN?" Zim pointed an accusing claw at Dib. "What? No! I-""SILENCE!" Zim screeched. "I saw something I think you should…" Zim pinned Dib to the floor with two PAK legs. "Why have you come then? OUT WITH IT!" He command "I was going to say…" Dib began. "Why? WHY?" "Would you SHUT UP?" Dib yelled. "Now listen! I was up on my roof when I heard this strange frequency. I looked up and I saw this star cruiser!" Zim arched an invisible eyebrow. "But the wired thing was, it looked like Tak's cruiser!" "IMPOSSIBLE! Tak's cruiser landed in your lawn! YOU LIE!" Zim squeezed Dib tighter to the ground with the PAK legs. "I know! I know!" But I could see her in the driver's seat! She must have built another one!" Dib stared up at the Irken with defiance. Zim hesitated before returning to the computer on the wall. Dib got up and followed him over to the screen. "What are you doing?" Dib asked without taking his eyes off the screen. Zim flicked an antenna irritably. His PAK legs returned inside the metal bulge. "I'm tracing the radar. If she really is here then her ship would give off an energy signature that I can…" He was interrupted by another whoosh from the tube leading into the lab. Gir stood in the middle of the floor, munching on a taco. Dib wondered casually where he had actually found the taco. Gir smiled and taco meat dripped onto the floor. "Ew." Dib scowled. "As long as you're here, you may as well do something useful, human." Zim said squinting at the meat on the floor. "Clean up the… Grease pork." Zim turned back to the screen. Dib smirked. "It's called beef, Zim." He said sarcastically. Zim scowled. "Like it matters." He growled quickly.

Meanwhile, Gir had finished the taco and was now rolling on the floor. Dib glanced around. "What am I meant to clean it with?" He asked. "I don't know." Said Zim irritably. "Your hands maybe?" Dib wrinkled his nose at the pile of beef. He scraped it into his hand. "Disposal's over there." Zim flicked an antenna toward a metal box under the counter. Dib pried open the lid and dropped the beef in. It immediately ignited into pink fire when it hit the bottom. Dib jumped back. He peeked inside again. Nothing was left of the meat. Not even cinders or ashes or anything. He heard Zim let out a snort of laughter behind him. He turned around. The Irken was watching him with the amusement of watching an infant discover how to use a new toy. Dib scowled but could feel his face turn hot with embarrassment. Gir was staring at something on the wall across the room laughing insanely at whatever it was. The radar on the screen beeped. Zim snapped his attention to the screen. Dib hurried over. Gir continued to laugh at the wall. "QUIET GIR!" Zim snapped. Gir glanced at his master, but continued to giggle randomly. "There! The energy signature!" Zim pointed a gloved finger at the flashing dot. "Tak is here! The human-stink wasn't lying!" Zim muttered to himself. "Hey!" Dib shouted, offended. Zim ignored him. "But she's avoiding the base. She must have some sort of horrible scheme she's plotting." Zim's gaze darted around the lab. "As much as I hate to admit it, I may need to contact you later." Zim said as he hurried across the room again. He dug through a drawer and returned to where Dib was standing by the computer. "Take this." He growled as he grabbed Dib by the wrist, attaching something on. "Hey! What-" Dib began. "This is a UVCD." Explained Zim. "A Universal Video Communicator Device." Dib stared at it. It was a pink-ish purple with a gray strap that smelled like old leather. There was a red button on the side and a green button on the front. "Um…" Dib was speechless. Suddenly Zim was right in his face. "This is Irken technology. Albeit a more simple piece then most.""Um…how does it work?" Dib asked. Zim smirked. "Easily. It beeps when I try to contact you. Push the green button to pick up, to contact me, push the red button." "That's it?" Dib arched an eyebrow. "All that you need to know." Zim turned away, fastening his own UVCD around his wrist. "What if I want to contact someone else?" Dib asked. "It doesn't work like that." Zim walked back to Dib. "They are programmed to each other alone." He grabbed Dib's UVCD and pulled something down out of the locking mechanism. He did the same with his own. Dib looked at the inside of his wrist. The lock was clear plastic. There was a square hole in the center of the lock where Zim had removed something. "Now it can't be removed unless I put the key back in." Zim said. Zim stared him in the eyes. His clear maroon ovals were filled with trust and worry. They were missing the usual spark of arrogance. "Okay, I should go." Murmured dib when Zim turned back to the computer. "I don't know where she is, but she's not here now. Go home, human." He flicked an antenna dismissively. Dib smirked as he stepped back in the tube. "'Bye, Zim." He muttered awkwardly as the wind tunnel started again.

ALRIGHT! SO! I've already said I've gotten better at writing, but other then that, Are they out of Character? Is there some major flaw in the setting or story? What? TELL MEEE! Also, for obvious reasons, no A/N for the next three chapters cuz Im lazy!

Also also, where's my freakin' profile? I put it up, but it's not there! Noo!

Or is it my computer? If anyone else can see it, PLEASE let me know!