Title: Herzdieb (Heart Thief)
Author: Keir
Rating: M for sexual situations and character death
The Gist of Things: Kyou refuses to go quietly to his fate in the cage and asks Haru to set him free.
A/N: I need to step away from the angsty music today, haha. -_-;; This is a songfic set to Eisbrecher's "Herzdieb" ("Heart Thief"). The original lyrics are in German but I've just inserted the English translation for them into the fic. Every time I listen to this song this story pops into my mind so I definitely felt the need to write it.
"italics" = song lyrics
"Time stands still; my yearning remains.
I am alone and waiting for you.
Come and heal me, because I don't know
If we will see each other again."
Kyou waited alone. His feet were bare. His toes curled against the grass, savouring the feeling. The breath leaving his body was calculated, regulated; in, wait five seconds, out, wait five seconds, repeat, repeat, repeat. He closed his eyes in the dark of the night with only the full moon shining down on him, ginger eyelashes trembling against his skin. He was waiting, waiting, waiting for that ache in his chest to stop. Soon, he told himself. So soon.
The anticipation moved along his skin like electricity. Every sound, every emotion, every sensation was to be treasured now. He longed to feel the gentle breeze dancing along every inch of skin, but like everything else, it would come soon enough. He wiggled his fingers, felt the skin rasping against skin. He let himself get lost in the feel of his shirt's fabric brushing against him. Soon his nipples were erect, so sensitive to that rubbing. He shivered. His breath hitched, interrupting his cycle. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tried to regain the rhythm. He began to repeat a mantra within his mind.
Please, please, please, please, please...
There was no other word he could think of for a long time. It seemed to echo and grow until he was no longer sure what he was begging for.
"Kyou."
The word seemed to center and ground him. It was his name, Kyou. He was Kyou. He was the Cat of the cursed Sohma family. He was skilled in the martial arts. He was not skilled at talking to people. He was strong. He was the outcast. He was always alone.
Except for...
His back arched and he gasped as if he were a drowning man breaching the surface. His eyes shot open. "Haru."
The ox-cursed stood a few feet away, the lines of his face soft as he stared back. They simply gazed at each other for a time. Crimson eyes challenged so familiarly, and eventually Hatsuharu nodded. He would not back down. The ox had made a promise.
Kyou tried to memorize everything, tried to fill the incessant ache in his chest with it. He filled his senses with Hatsuharu. His luminescent pale skin, the beautiful ruffle of his dual-coloured hair, every curve and line of his tall, lithe body, the smell of his designer cologne on the night breeze.
Their gazes met again. There was nothing but love between them. Kyou dared to dream that they would see each other again, but it was just a dream.
He began to strip down.
"Clandestinely calm and without a sound,
A drop of blood on sweat-soaked skin.
Come and heal me, come and free me,
Then I'll be out of this misery."
First he lifted his shirt over his head. The air on his skin was warm. His hands lay flat against his stomach, feeling his breath move in and out. They strayed downward after a moment to unfasten his pants, letting them fall to the ground. He wore nothing beneath them. He let his hands fall limply to his sides and met Hatsuharu's eyes once more. "I'm ready." His voice was strong.
The ox let out a breath. Kyou heard the smallest hitch in it, the barest sign of weakness, but Hatsuharu's face did not show it. He nodded. His shirt followed Kyou's to the ground. The younger boy's fingers lingered on his pants button, Hatsuharu's body balking against him. Grey and crimson stared at each other, mourning.
Then Kyou shook his head. They couldn't remain that way or everything would come undone. He beckoned Hatsuharu forward. The ox came slowly, one step at a time. When he stood before the cat, Kyou pulled him into a kiss. A tear slid down Hatsuharu's pale cheek as his lover dragged him to the ground.
Kyou kissed the tear away as he grasped the ox's right hand. He brought it up, stared guilelessly into his lover's grey eyes, and pressed Hatsuharu's fingers tightly around the hilt of the knife, gaze never leaving the other boy's. He guided the tip to just below his breastbone, forced Hatsuharu's hand to press it just hard enough against the skin to cut. A few drops of blood welled up from the small wound. Kyou didn't flinch. "Right here. When it's time, right here." His eyes searched the ox's face for any sign of refusal.
Hatsuharu nodded. He would not fail.
"I will take your heart
Tonight.
It still beats inside you so calm and so smooth.
I bet it's so pure, but soon it will be mine;
Then it will beat deep inside of me.
I will take your heart!"
The ox's fingers traveled over his love's skin, rubbing just hard enough to feel the extensive muscles beneath. He knew it must be done; for Kyou's sake, it must be done, but...
His hand strayed to the broad, tan chest beneath him, fingers spreading out, so pale and long. The two of them were the moon and the sun. Kyou was his sun, radiant and bright, and he was the moon basking in his glow. He wondered, what would happen to the moon after the sun went out?
"Haru."
Kyou recalled the ox to himself. Hatsuharu could feel the cat's heart, a strong, lively heart, beating beneath his hand. He must take it to keep it safe.
Kyou was really so gentle beneath it all, so pure in his feelings. They had shared those quiet moments together, the cat resting his back against the ox's chest with Hatsuharu's arms wrapped around him; it was one of their favourite things to just sit and talk quietly. The orange-haired boy held deeper emotion within him than anyone else could ever imagine. These were the younger boy's thoughts as Kyou took it upon himself to push the ox's pants down over his hips.
No one would ever know the heart Hatsuharu had claimed for his own, not really. None of them would ever know.
"The pain burns deep within my chest.
I am lost; that, you already knew.
Come and heal me because I don't know
If we'll see each other again."
Kyou felt the pain tighten in his chest at that look. Hatsuharu's eyes were locked on his own, so full of sorrow. A pale hand was splayed across the cat's chest, but Kyou could not let himself be swayed by it. His own hands resumed the job the ox had started. The chains on the other boy's pants chimed as they were pushed over the ox's thighs.
Please, please, please, the cat repeated in his mind, though he didn't know what he was begging for. Maybe not to be so lost any more.
"Haru." Grey eyes, such beautiful, soulful eyes, looked straight at him, to the very heart of him. "Please," Kyou finally said aloud, and the only person he had allowed to see every facet of himself understood.
Hatsuharu stared down at him, eyes only for him, just for him, and he felt loved. Pale fingertips brushed across Kyou's cheek. The ox nodded in answer.
"Eternity—a blink of an eye.
Reach your hand out to me,
Bring me back to life.
Come and heal me, come and free me,
Then I'll be out of this misery."
Hatsuharu moved slowly, so gently, as he pulled his lover to him. It filled the cat's heart with happiness to be treated so tenderly. Sun-kissed legs were brought around moon-pale hips, bodies sliding into contact. Hatsuharu was afraid that if he moved too fast, the cat might disappear from between his fingers.
Kyou smiled, an unguarded, sweet smile that he gave to no one but Hatsuharu, and reached for the other boy's hand. Their fingers entangled and held fast. "Please," the cat repeated, and the ox would do anything to be worthy of that smile.
A gasp cut through the night air as the orange-haired boy was penetrated. Fingers tightened and tried to melt into each other. The cat's body arched and his lover's hair splayed across his skin as a pale forehead came to rest on his shoulder. If only Hatsuharu knew, Kyou thought, that he was the salve to the cat's wounds, that Kyou would be eternally grateful to him for setting him free... He didn't expect his lover to understand, not completely. It was enough that he was here and willing to go so far without protest.
When Hatsuharu was with him, it didn't hurt so much. He wasn't so alone.
They had talked about this before, with tears and pleas and frantic whispers, and finally the ox had conceded. Kyou knew how much it took for his lover to agree and he appreciated it.
How could he love one person so much? It hurt even to think about it. And yet it hadn't been enough, and now it would never be enough. Out of all the mistakes Kyou regretted in his life, he regretted not realizing the mutual love between himself and Hatsuharu soon enough.
Four months was not enough. Kyou didn't even know if a lifetime would have been enough. Selfishly, he wanted an eternity.
Kyou turned his head, pressing his cheek against soft black and white hair. His mind reeled with the many scents that marked the ox in his entirety. Fingers tightened in urgency.
"Please," the cat murmured into the hair he had spent hours brushing his fingers through, a guilty pleasure. "Make love to me."
"I will take your heart
Tonight.
It still beats inside you so calm and so smooth.
I bet it's so pure, but soon it will be mine;
Then it will beat deep in side of me,
So deep in me!"
Hatsuharu exhaled hot breath over his lover's skin, his stomach in knots. Despite what he must do, the painful truth of it that his mind could not fully face yet, his body was responding eagerly. It almost felt like he was betraying himself. How could he be so filled with lust when something horrible lay ahead of them?
Because Kyou was so beautiful he couldn't help himself. When the cat murmured such a sweet request, he was temporarily overwhelmed. His other arm wrapped around his lover's back, holding him tight to the ox's body. His lips ravenously moved over tan skin, across shoulder and collarbone and up the cat's neck. Kyou moaned and gasped under the amorous onslaught. Hatsuharu felt guilty for delaying, but it was only for a little while, just a little while longer...
He hoped Kyou knew how much he loved him. No one understood him like Kyou; he could tell the cat his dreams and hopes, his hurts and fears, and Kyou would always listen. In turn, the ox was allowed to see the sides of Kyou that the other boy would never let anyone else know existed.
"Haru." The cat's voice chided him. Even now, Kyou knew his mind all too well. He placed one last wet kiss on the neck below him before rising up.
"I sink deeper, ever deeper,
Until I lose myself in you.
I will take your heart;
I will take what belongs to me
Tonight.
I bet it's so pure, but soon it will be mine;
Then it'll beat deep inside of me.
Their eyes locked just as their fingers had; Hatsuharu tried to communicate his love through his eyes and Kyou smiled in recognition. The ox's hips began to move.
"Ah, Haru..." the cat moaned as his lover moved within him. Hatsuharu drank in the sight of hooded crimson eyes staring up at him in pleasure, of tan chest lifting and falling faster as Kyou's breathing picked up. Beneath that skin beat the heart that belonged only to Hatsuharu and Hatsuharu alone. The thought made him harder and the cat quirked a smile that the ox knew was meant to tease him.
Hatsuharu's eyes transferred to staring at the cat's free hand, which hovered over tan collarbone and then traveled lower. Kyou smiled, knowing he had his lover's full attention. His fingers brushed over his own nipple and then down over his belly, then lower still until his hand wrapped around his own erection. Kyou quirked a brow as he began stroking. "Shouldn't you be doing something?" he asked in that throaty purr that always happened when they were intimate.
The ox's penis twitched and he groaned as the cat's tight walls rubbed against his length. His free hand braced on one tan shoulder and his hips began working in earnest. Kyou started making those deep, rumbling moans that put Hatsuharu in danger of losing control. The ox tried not to let himself get carried away on those little masculine noises; he wanted to remember every minute, every second of this.
Rumbling an answering moan of his own, he shifted his hips, tilting them so he could sink even deeper. The cat's mouth fell open and his head tilted back as he groaned. Just as quickly, Kyou lifted his head, mock growling at the ox as he ground himself down against the length trapped inside him.
Hatsuharu growled in answer and drove forward, pressing Kyou into the uneven ground. The cat's legs wrapped around him; his pink tongue was exposed as he panted. The ox had wanted to go slow, but his primal instincts were taking over. The slick, wet sounds of Kyou's hand pleasuring himself were driving him mad with lust. Fingers tightening hard enough to bruise, he reared up higher on his knees, forcing his lover's body to curl upward.
His mind released his body from its restraint and it needed no urging. His hips surged forward frantically, burying himself so deeply. Kyou cried out in pain and pleasure at the abuse, his muscles burning as he was taken. Hatsuharu was plunging in and out carelessly, his need so great. Kyou was gasping and groaning and trying to thrash beneath him. The slap of flesh against flesh was so loud in the night air, a bombardment of indecent sound. Hatsuharu bent over even further, his length hammering harder and harder in to the willing flesh below him.
The ox drank it in: the cries of his lover, the other boy's impossibly constricting heat, his beautiful face so relaxed and lost in their shared passion. Hatsuharu grunted as he felt his orgasm building. He stared so helplessly down at his mate. "I love you!"
Kyou's body jerked beneath the ox and his hand began to lose its rhythm. "Haru, I'm cumming!" Crimson eyes pleaded so sweetly. "Hurry!"
"I will take your heart tonight.
It still beats inside you so calm and so smooth.
I bet it's so pure, but soon it will be mine;
Then it'll beat deep inside of me."
Hatsuharu's teeth were bared as he let loose a feral cry. His toes dug hard into the dirt as he rammed forward into the moaning cat, thrusting savagely in those last few moments. Another cry bubbled up from within him as he began to ejaculate deep inside his lover and the orange-haired boy answered in kind. The ox felt his muscles seizing up, eyes rolling toward the back of his head with the power of his orgasm. His erection swelled as his body forcefully planted its seed deep inside his lover.
"Haru!" The cat keened as he reached his own peak, hips squirming. He looked so beautifully pained as he came and the ox's mind screamed no, no, no because he knew what would happen next. Sun-kissed skin was dappled with a sheen of sweat, orange hair splayed across the ground, and then white cum was spurting from the cat's penis. The ox felt tears gathering in his eyes; he wanted to deny it all, to talk some sense into the other boy, but he had made a promise.
Eyes like garnets flew open as the cat spent his passion across himself. "Now, Haru! Please!" He was begging, pleading, commanding.
Hatsuharu could do nothing but obey. Pale fingers picked up the waiting blade. His hand shook, eyes filled with fear as he stared into Kyou's eyes.
The knife plunged down into flesh.
Kyou gasped and arched like he had just minutes before, but now he writhed in agony. The ox's eyes widened in terror as the cat convulsed below him. His mind raced; he had to get Kyou to Hatori and then the dragon would fix this awful mistake and everything would be all right. He just wanted everything to be all right.
Tan fingers suddenly wrapped around the ox's, pressing pale fingers into the hilt with an iron grip. Kyou was shuddering, gasping in tiny breaths, but his eyes were determined. "Again," he commanded, guiding the tip back to his skin. Blood was bubbling up from the obscene wound just below his ribs. The ox squeezed his eyes shut. Calloused fingers stroked his hand. "I'm dying, Haru. Don't let me suffer," Kyou said softly.
Hatsuharu opened his eyes, tears falling freely now. Kyou's hand clenched on his again and the ox nodded wordlessly. Crimson eyes pierced straight into his soul. "This is yours, Haru." The cat's fingers brushed over the space above his heart before moving clear. "It will always be yours alone."
Twin agonized cries pierced the night as the blade plunged again. Kyou's eyes went wide, his breathing beginning to slow. This time the knife had found its mark and buried in his heart.
Hatsuharu desperately pulled his lover into his arms, kissed the lips that were going slack so fast. "I love you," he repeated over and over, his hot tears falling onto tan skin.
"I love you, too, Haru. Forever." The briefest whisper and then Kyou was gone.
"I will take your heart!"
With a broken sob, Hatsuharu hugged the limp body to himself, careless of the blood smearing across his pale skin. He had done as his kitten had made him promise. Kyou was free now; when they came for him in the morning, he would not be there. This Cat would never be caged.
Hatsuharu held Kyou's heart inside himself forever now. He wept.