A/N - This fic is dedicated to Michelle, because she is Faramir's biggest fan! Besides, she said she'd love me forever if I wrote a Faramir ficcy! *hugs*
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All I ever wanted was for him to love me. To love me the same way he did my brother. I wished him dead sometimes, my brother, then maybe my father would love me more. I never expected it to happen. Not to him. Not to them. They are both dead now. I killed them.
I should have been the one to go to Imladris that day. The journey should have been mine. But Boromir had wanted to go. My father had begged for him to stay behind, but he had remained defiant. I should have stopped him, told him that his duty was with his city, not on a mysterious quest. But I wanted him to go. I told him to go if he desired to do so. His disobedience would mean he was no longer the perfect one. I was so selfish.
My father had wept, degrading me even more so than usual, cursing my very life and existence. How dare I live when my brother had gone to unknown peril?
His death was almost inevitable. He was proud. He would not run. It should have been me. I should have perished that day at Parth Galen.
Not Boromir.
He was the beloved one. His death has not changed that, only now the love mingles with grief, and he remains with us in memory alone. The beloved one. Yet I feel only guilt.
He did not have to die.
And my father? My father. I cannot remember ever feeling truly loved by my father. I wasn't the son he wanted me to be. I had no mind for unnecessary battle, for glory, for death. I was not Boromir. But he could not accept that, and treated me as though I was no son of his.
It is sad that my father created a template for his sons that I could never fit. I could never please him.
And, in the end, I killed him. His despair at my illness, at losing the only link to Boromir he had left. It drove him mad.
All I ever wanted was for him to love me. I did not intend for his love to kill him.
Yet now it is over. They are both gone. Alive in memory and grief only. I cannot let go. The brand was too hot.
I sit with my beautiful wife, cherishing her presence. She is healing now, having suffered great hurts both in body and spirit.
One day I shall heal too.
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A/N - What can I say? Set after the War of the Rings, as you probably figured!
Please review!