Rainwater Flowers
Inspired by Coldplay's song Fix You (if you listen to it, you'll get a good understanding of the fic) and written for Doro (because she said she liked angsty rain and angst is my speciality) and for that other person who I'm talking to in the middle of the night This is kind of a songfic, but I uh, will take it down if it's not allowed (pretty sure it's not)
He couldn't believe what he just did. What the fuck was he playing at? A shot of pain rushed though his leg as he kicked the coffee table over. The mugs that felt victim smashed onto the wooden floor and leaked coffee and tea all over the place.
He didn't care. He won't think he ever will do.
It was just him and the emotionless rain, and teardrops staining his shirt. He doesn't remember the last time he cried like this.
It didn't feel right. He felt twisted inside, a broken puzzle, pieces scattered carelessly. There was a cruel pain that sunk his heart, and it felt like a million poisonous butterflies.
He carelessly switched on his CD with his favourite English songs on. Perhaps some music –
He regretted it now.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come steaming down your face
When you leave something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
It pretty much summed up his situation. Basically, he not longer cared. The guy he loved so much, loved so dearly –
It felt like another painful jab to his heart, simply thinking about it.
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
He fell asleep with those words ringing in his heart, and the tears threatening to drown his soul.
"Yagyuu? What's wrong?"
The sight of his bleached white hair and sneaky smirk made him want to cry all over again. He obviously saw what was upsetting him.
"Yagyuu-kun, what's wrong? Am I so sexy that I'm driving you to tears? It's alright; my fangirls do it plenty for me, but it kinda makes me feel bad if you do it, y'know? You've never done something to caring before –"
He was wearing their old tennis kit from junior and high school. If this was a dream, simply seeing him again was enough. He knew once he was living in the present he was never ever going to see him again. This was a dream, so it didn't matter what he was going to say.
"Niou-kun, say if I fuck up, would you forgive me eventually?"
Niou looked strangely at Yagyuu, totally not expecting the question or the usage of swear words. Yagyuu never swore unless he was serious about something.
Yagyuu tensed up, wondering how he was going to answer. Niou was the most unpredictable person he knew, and probably the best at what he did. Being totally unpredictable and being the cause of many headaches. He loved that life though.
It started raining all of a sudden. The sky has such good timing. They were walking under a cherry blossom tree, Niou not really minding the rain leaking in. Yagyuu winced a couple of times however, not being able to tell when rain would next ruin his hair.
There was suddenly some music coming out from what seemed like nowhere. It was a soft piano, and it set the scene perfectly.
Oh! Yagyuu remembered now. Niou planned all of this to say –
"Yagyuu, go out with me." Niou then jumped on him and kissed him flat out, not caring about the answer. Yagyuu returned the kiss gently, not wanting to make much of a scene in public. He played with his beautiful hair, and from that memory, he remembered that his hair smelt of sweet strawberries, Yagyuu's favourite scent.
This man was something to be feared.
Perhaps when he woke up this dream would end. The fright of not knowing what memory might come next terrified him like how people thought their brains would turn into mush when the train was first invented.
It was just as he feared.
It was that memory.
He became desperate to wake up. The dream turned into a nightmare. No, please, no please don't – don't go –
He was now afraid, more than ever, of those sad, sorry eyes. Why did he have to fuck up like that?
It was just once, he remembered thinking. The woman doesn't know what she's got herself into. She said it. She was the one who seduced him.
And now he was the one who lost everything. He could tell Niou loved him, but everything, everything was already sitting on a thin rope.
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
He could not see Niou hang his head down.
And I will try to fix you