Lincoln Center New York City
ICCAs
Beca's Freshman Year
Beca had never been good at expressing her feelings, a fact that Jessie was well aware of at this point. Beca knew that he had spent the year pining after her, he put up with all her complaining and still insisted on giving her a moviecation despite her aversion to movies. Although Beca had resisted his endless enthusiasm and irritating jokes, by the end of the year she was happy to think of Jesse as one of her best friends. Jesse was the perfect guy: super nice, loyal, handsome, and he liked her… a lot. And despite pretending that she didn't need anyone in her life, Beca was lonely. She wanted someone that she could spend all her time with and learn to trust completely. So Jesse was the obvious choice, and Beca figured she might as well give Jesse a shot, she thought that at least if it didn't work out they could go back to being best friends.
So rather than telling Jesse about the development in her feelings, or at least what she thought were romantic feelings at the time, Beca expressed them the only way she knew how – through music. The homage to The Breakfast Club was for Jesse, Beca made sure he knew that she had actually watched the movie by doing this, and how significant that was for both of them. As soon as he recognised the lyrics Jessie made eye contact with Beca and put his fist in the air. She put her fist in the air in response. From that point onwards Beca knew the inevitable outcome of the Bella's final performance at the ICCAs. She bounded off the stage and made a beeline for Jesse.
"Told you, endings are the best part"
"You're such a weirdo"
She threw her arms carelessly around his neck and kissed him. Jessie's hands found her waist as she smiled into the kiss. In that moment Beca felt happy that she got her movie ending, but was also aware that something wasn't sitting right. Perhaps it was because she had been waiting for months for the kiss to happen that it would never be able to live up to her, admittedly rather high, expectations. Or maybe it was just because it was their first time kissing and they needed time to find each other's rhythm. Whatever the reason, Beca knew that although she was incredibly fond of Jesse, there was no spark between them. This should have been a clear sign that the pair were better as best friends than anything more, but Beca had very little experience in terms of boyfriends so figured her attraction to Jesse would grow with time and that a spark would come with it. It didn't even occur to her that he was not the person she should have been kissing. So Beca smiled at Jesse as he babbled about how great it was that they were finally "a thing"; she felt remarkably impassive about being Jesse's new girlfriend, but he was so certain that they were meant to be together that she simply hoped he was right and did her best to look at happy as he did in that moment. While Beca was overwhelmed by this rare expression of emotion, she completely missed Chloe's rapid exit off stage to the nearest door leading out of the building.
Chloe could feel her excitement build throughout the Bella's performance; as soon as they came off stage she was going to do it. Chloe was finally going to tell Beca that she was in love with her, and had been since that fateful day in the shower. Well, she was going to kiss her and hope that Beca felt the same way, and then maybe tell her about the extent of her feelings. Chloe knew that Beca let her get away with things she would never dream of letting the other Bellas do and how much that showed about their closeness. The two had been practically joined at the hip all year, and Fat Amy had even started calling them "Bhloe" rather than their own names. While Beca had rolled her eyes, Chloe loved it; she was thrilled that someone else had recognised the obvious chemistry between herself and Beca. So Chloe was excited, the bubbly red haired beauty was completely focused on how relieved she would feel once she had admitted to Beca that she was the reason that she had stayed single since the shower incident. As despite her popularity around campus, no one had caught Chloe's attention and been enough for her to say yes to. Because Chloe wanted Beca; she loved Beca with every fiber of her being.
When the Bellas finished their performance the sense of anticipation building in Chloe's gut was almost overwhelming. But before she had even had time to say a single word to Beca the tiny freshman was gone. Chloe was unable to look away as she saw the girl she loved kiss a boy who had relentlessly pursued her all year. Chloe felt her heart shatter irreparably and tears cloud her vision as she saw the look of sheer determination and possibly even a hint of desire in Beca's eyes. Chloe didn't think, she simply ran, out the nearest exit and felt herself crumple onto the pavement. For what felt like an eternity she sobbed, her entire body shaking with emotion. When Aubrey found her and scooped her up into a tight embrace Chloe had never been more grateful for the girl's friendship. She clung to Aubrey, and felt herself slowly begin to go from overwhelming pain to being completely numb. Chloe was in such agony that she could no longer feel anything at all. A blank look took over her features; her usually bright eyes dulled slightly, lacking their usual vibrancy.
Rather than celebrating the victory with the Bella's Chloe faked a migraine and went to her room. She spent the night adjusting her plans for the coming September to spare herself from further heartbreak. Chloe arranged to postpone her place on the Masters in Education course until a year later than originally planned, thus ensuring that the next time she would have to see Beca would be when she returned at the start of the girl's junior year. She then booked a flight to Zambia and found a place on a volunteering program at a school there. While Beca was at Jesse's dorm, doing things Chloe would rather not think about, Chloe sought out all the remaining Bella's and received an incredibly emotional send off from them all. Aubrey proceeded to drive her to the airport, both girls openly weeping as they knew Chloe would not be returning to the US for over a year. Chloe was distraught to be leaving Aubrey, as she was Chloe's entire support system and the best friend she had ever had, despite her neurotic tendencies. Throughout the flight Chloe found herself thinking of Beca, and felt a pang of regret at leaving her without so much as a goodbye. But Chloe knew that abandoning her was far less painful than having to watch her be happy with Jesse. So Chloe wept until there were no more tears left, and tried to think of the year ahead and how it would distract her from her broken heart.