Introductory Notes:

First of all, this story is making use of lots of copyrighted material from The Slayers, who sadly do not belong to me. Likewise I was inspired by lots of brilliant writers of the Gothic Fantasy genre. Expect ideas stolen from: Horace Walpole, Jane Austen, Ann Radcliffe, Matthew Lewis, Mary Shelley, Edgar Allan Poe, James Henry, H.P. Lovecraft, Bram Stoker, and anyone else who seems appropriate. Also credit is given where credit is due to the brilliance of Mel Brooks (Young Frankenstein) and The Simpsons.

You likely noticed that this story is classified as This is because it is impossible to select: horror, angst, romance, fantasy, action/adventure, drama, humor, *and* parody. Trust me, I tried. So, my friends, what you have here is the genuine work of called Slayers Gothic, featuring our beloved Slayers cast thrown into a work full of dead, undead, vile deeds, unholy deeds, darkness, terror, and cheap special effects. Business as usual? Just sort of.

As I said, there will be romance. I'm a traditionalist at heart, so we'll be seeing some Lina/Gourry, Filia/Xellos, and a *lot* of Zelgadis/Amelia. If these pairings turn your stomach, go find a nice Amelia/Lina/Xellos lemon or some such. I'm sure you'll be able to find one, since Fanfiction.net has something for almost all tastes.

Let's see, what do I still need to tell you? Oh, yes, this story is starting out at a nice, clean rating. It will go up. I don't know how high, but expect violence and adult subject matter, and maybe even explicit adult subject matter. In your reviews tell me how bad you think I should let this get. After all, this is a gothic story. Pick your poison. If you want a graphic BDSM Xellos/filia scene, I'll see what I can do. I won't promise to do it, but I'll try. Anything for reviews.

Of course, I'm not promising to finish this either. I accept bribes in the form of reviews, guestbook signing on my webpage, and Parn/Deedlit stories dedicated to me. I'm a dreadful mercenary, and I'm proud of it. Now that I've bored you for five paragraphs, on to the prologue!


Prologue:

This Evening's prologue shall be given by Gourry Gabriev.

Gourry stands in the center of the stage, looking nervous. He shuffles his cue cards and smiles ingenuously before beginning. Hello, everyone. This is a work of Gothic terror. For this reason it may not be suitable for younger readers in some of the later chapters. In fact this story is probably not appropriate for any of you at any time. It's bad, vile, evil, and against family values. I urge you to go watch something non-frightening, but if you want nightmares, go ahead. Who are we to stop you? He pauses, and flips to the next card. This is the sad tale of love and revenge and terror that plagued Amelia's marriage, and Zelgadis' quest for a cure. It began with a feeling of dark portent and dire presentiment. He stops. What's presentiment, anyway?

Abruptly a dictionary falls out of the sky and hits him on the head.

Ouch, that hurt, he complains, as he flips through the Idiots' Guide to Big Words: Slayer's Edition. 'Presentiment: the feeling you get when you don't know where Lina is but know she's about to wallop you again.' As he finishes reading, Lina proceeds to emerge from the audience and do just that.

Lina then smiles at the audience. Just read the story.


Note on Casting:

No one who had ever seen Lina Inverse in her infancy, would have supposed her born to be a heroine. Her situation in life, the character of her father and mother, her own person and disposition, were all equally against her. Her father was a merchant, without being neglected, or poor, and a very respectable man, though his name was Richard - and he had never been handsome. Her mother was a woman of useful plain sense, with a good temper, and, what is more remarkable, with a good constitution. She had another daughter before Lina was born; and instead of dying in bringing the latter into the world, as a body might expect, she still lived on to continue her personal studies and to enjoy excellent health herself. In addition, Lina, for many years of her life, was quite plain. She had a thin, awkward figure, a sallow skin without color, uncontrollable orange hair, and strong features; - and so much for her person; - and not less unpropitious for heroism seemed her mind. She was fond of all boys' plays, and greatly preferred sword-practice not merely to dolls, but to the more heroic enjoyments of infancy, nursing a dormouse, feeding a canary-bird, or watering a rose-bush. Indeed she had no taste for a garden; and if she gathered flowers at all, it was chiefly for the pleasure of mischief - at least so it was conjectured from her always taking those which she was forbidden to take. - Such were her propensities - her abilities were quite as extraordinary. She never could learn anything she considered boring, and on such occasions was often inattentive, and occasionally stupid. Her mother was three months in teaching her the healing spell; and after all, her sister Luna had learned it in five minutes. Not that Lina was stupid, - by no means; she learnt the dragon slave more quickly than any girl in Zepheillia. What a strange, uncontrollable character! - for with all these symptoms of profligacy at ten years old, she had not a bad heart, though a furious temper; was often stubborn, frequently quarrelsome, but very kind to those few smaller than she, though with many interruptions of tyranny; she was moreover noisy and wild, hated confinement and cleanliness, and loved nothing so well in the world as rolling down the green slope at the back of the house, and blowing up the neighbor's storage shed.

It is for these reasons that Lina Inverse is not the hero of our story, though she plays a great part in it. Instead a girl of refinement and innocence had to be chosen. Someone naive and possessed of the finest sensibility. Sadly, Silfiel was too busy cleaning up Sairaag to take a major part in this production, and hence Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune has been given the starring part in Slayers: Gothic. We have every confidence in her abilities.


Chapter One: A Wedding? To Unite Two Kingdoms!

The engagement of Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune to Prince Konoradu of Atlas, the first of the Twelve Princes of Atlas, was announced on October 4 to the excited population of of Saillune. The princess herself appeared rather melancholy on this occasion, but it was generally agreed by all to be a brilliant match. The announcement that Amelia and her father Prince Philionel would be journeying to Atlas for the marriage ceremony the following morning only caused the excitement to grow.

Staring at the crowd, a single, quiet, hooded figure found this arrangement less than pleasing. He glowered out at the carriage in which the princess and her father sat about to set out for Atlas City. His face was set in an expression of grim repression. Oh, wait, that's Zelgadis' face always looks.

Still, Atlas City, he thought. There was a famous library there. He'd checked it before, but one never knew. There was a chance that he'd overlooked something. He began walking. It wasn't like he was going there because Amelia was. Not at all. He certainly wasn't going to prevent the wedding. The thought couldn't be farther from his mind, he assured himself, as he gazed at the carriage with pensive tenderness.

He stopped and shook himself. Pensive tenderness? That couldn't be right. He was more of the no, I am not worthy of you, so I must watch you from afar in silent misery type. Wasn't he?


Amelia sighed with melancholy as she stared out the carriage window at the landscape rolling by. The mountains rose up and loomed darkly, causing the fair princess to shiver. They as yet were only in the foothills, but already the rocky outcroppings seemed huge monstrosities that boded ill for her upcoming marriage. A dull grey sky looked down on it all, threatening rain. She trembled.

Oh, Daddy, she said. Is it just that I must marry a man I have never even met?

Prince Philionel boomed in response. Well, Amelia, you are a princess, and this marriage will do so much good for both kingdoms. As royalty of Saillune we have many privileges and we must earn these by doing things that sometimes aren't pleasant and sacrifice our happiness for the good of the kingdom!

Immediately Amelia's eyes began to sparkle again. Of course, it is only just to sacrifice myself to bring about a permanent peace between Saillune and Atlas!

That's my girl!

Amelia pushed all thoughts of her doubts away. And all thoughts of Zelgadis.


But Lina-

But Lina' what? The redhead asked in a threatening voice.

Her companion hesitated. But I thought the man said Atlas City was that way!

No, you idiot, he said that way! She pointed.

Gourry said certainly. I know it was that way because he was pointing in the same direction as the sun, and the sun is over there.

Lina twitched. Yes, but Gourry . . . THAT WAS THIS MORNING YOU JELLYFISH-FOR-BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!



They began trudging on in the direction Lina had indicated.

So, why are we going to Atlas City, Lina?

Lina explained for the fifth time since breakfast. Because Amelia is getting married in Atlas City, and even if she did forget to send an invitation, she can't get married without her best friend there to be her bridesmaid.

Immediately the scene shifted to show Lina's personal day-dream. There was Amelia, dressed in white and walking down an aisle, clutching a bouquet of pink flowers. She was, however, overshadowed by the girl holding up her train. This girl was dressed in a long red dress, trimmed with lace. Her hair and eyes were also red, and she was small and adorable--with a small but perfectly formed figure. She seemed to glow with beauty. Then Amelia turned around and threw her bouquet to all the waiting girls and ladies, but it was, of course, the lovely and vivacious Lina who captured the prize. Immediately a prince--who looked an awful lot like Gourry--appeared to kiss her. Abruptly Lina was also in a wedding gown, and the prince spun her around to the face Filia who was holding a book and prepared to carry out the marriage ceremony.

Lina sighed with happiness.

Um, Lina? Lina! Gourry waved a hand in front of her face.

Jerked out of her daydream, Lina glared at the blonde warrior. So we're going to Atlas. Come on, Gourry, we've got to get to Atlas so I can catch Amelia's bouquet and marry a prince!

It occurred to Gourry that this statement seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember where from. He shrugged and allowed Lina to continue dragging him at a run towards Atlas City. He shook his head. Lina was so . . . Lina.


Filia exclaimed, staring at her copy of Hoard and Home that she holding in one hand while her other held a baby bottle in boiling water to heat it. She was currently enthralled by the article proclaiming the Atlas City Annual Pottery and Antique Symposium. In her excitement she accidentally lowered her hand into the boiling water.

Upstairs in the nursery Valgaav heard her scream and mimicked it.

Floating outside the window, someone else chuckled, and stared at the open magazine Filia had dropped on the floor when she went to soothe the infante dragone. Hmm. Atlas City. Interesting . . . .


The dimly lit inn was filled with what could kindly be called shady characters. Most of them had all the clothing taste of, well, no clothing taste. Leather seemed popular, especially black leather, though red and grey could seen in a few places. Skulls comprised the majority of the jewelry, sometimes accompanied by large and bluntly tacky rubies. Those who weren't completely encased in armor or unwrapped in shrouding robes and cloaks were as unencased and unshrouded as was possible without breaking public decency regulations.

In such a place the White Serpent was completely at home. She fit in, like her sister at a magical-girl convention. She sipped from her glass and stared down at her paper The Saillune Enquirer. Apparently the afore-mentioned sister was getting married in Atlas City. The White Serpent sighed. It would be difficult to get to Atlas City, but her for sister she would do it.