It is with a heavy heart that I, Basil of Baker Street, being of sound mind, do hereby announce my retirement. Having solved cases for well over three decades, I certainly believe I am entitled to spend the remainder of my life in repose.
Dawson was rather concerned when I failed to appear for breakfast this morning. I remained in my room, staring vacantly at the ceiling, for I was pondering rather profound matters.
Why am I alive? I have survived to the age of retirement, despite innumerable attempts on my life, and my childhood friend, who was as a brother me, perished years ago. During our youth, Padraic and I often discussed how we imagined our retirement.
"There will be a celebration in our honor!" he had announced. "Then we'll have to babysit each other's grandchildren! We'll have tea together and talk about the greatest moments of our careers and what a relief it is not to have to work anymore!"
Ratigan would never have the opportunity to celebrate his retirement, although the empire had certainly celebrated his demise. I, on the other hand, have been blessed with longevity, if the continuation of one's life after losing one's only friend can even be considered a blessing. Although I shall never be certain of the matter one way or the other, I am under the impression that when I finally breathe my last, Mousedom shall commemorate my loss as a great bereavement to society rather than a jubilant occasion.
I should love nothing better than to find the incompetent fool who originated the phrase about time healing all wounds, for this conclusion is rather erroneous. My most trusted associate, the only physician I've ever met who seems to have meant the Hippocratic Oath, has assured me that if left untended, some injuries are capable of killing the victim after the onset of infection; that being, there are some instances when time exacerbates rather than cures certain ailments. From my personal experience, I have deduced the same to be true for more than physical wounds.
It was approximately noon when Dawson rapped on my door. I paid him no mind, for I wished to be alone with my thoughts.
"Basil?"
Having no desire to engage in conversation, I held my peace.
"Basil, any mouse your age is certainly too old to behave as a child!"
"Do allow me some time to myself," I sighed.
"Several residents of Mousedom have gathered to wish you well! It would be selfish of you to refuse to see them!"
Against my will, I allowed him to lead me to Regent's Park, where a large crowd had gathered in my honor. Among them were former criminals I had assisted in reformation, that their prison sentence may be shortened or omitted entirely. There were also several mice whose lives I had saved. Many of them made brief speeches, reminding the community of all I had done. To my chagrin, I was requested to make an oration.
"You have all gathered here today," I began, "because I have failed you!"
Judging from their silence, no one had expected such discourse.
"Had I brought Ratigan to justice before he committed any crimes more heinous than petty theft," I continued, "many of you would never have become felons. Over half of you would never have been taken hostage! The vast majority of you would never have lost a friend or family member to a murderer! The Ingham family, Mousedom's wealthiest and most generous philanthropists, would still be making contributions to the impoverished! The bell-shaped monument in the cemetery would never have come into existence!"
My throat was beginning to tighten. Ignoring this discomfort, I attempted to finish my address.
"A good detective solves crime, but a great detective prevents it. You have all mentioned how I have saved or changed lives, but what is it to me? Behold the investigator whose life is the epitome of failure! I have made a difference in the lives of innumerable strangers, yet my incompetence in earlier cases has indirectly murdered my childhood friend! He was my only friend, and I could not have asked for a finer one!"
As my vision began to blur, I reached the conclusion of my speech.
"Had Ratigan been given the opportunity to reform his life, his ingenious mind could have contributed greatly to society! Who knows what inventions may have come into being or what discoveries in the field of science might have been made, if only I had succeeded in ending his criminal career before…?" Unable to complete my statement, I sighed. "You no doubt wonder why I am unable to take pleasure during this gathering, which has been held in my honor, and the answer is elementary. I have lived to the age of retirement, and my best friend has not."
This evening, I found myself plagued by insomnia. I thought perhaps a brief stroll would clear my mind, but I soon found myself in front of the clock tower. By inopportune accident, just as I reached the tower, tintinnabulation commenced to announce it was two hours before midnight, the same hour Ratigan had died so many years past. Never before had I considered myself maudlin, yet I sank to my knees.
"Forgive me," I pleaded. "Why did…?"
My throat ached so dreadfully that I was unable to say more. Several minutes later, I heard footsteps approaching.
"Basil, what in heaven's name…?!" Dawson knelt beside me. "Are those tears I see on your face?"
"Nothing more than slight precipitation," I answered.
"I had wondered about those clouds overhead," he agreed.
"Have I ever expressed gratitude?"
"For what?" he queried.
"Ruining my life!" I sighed. "I had resigned myself to a lifetime of trusting no one after Ratigan became a felon, yet there was something about you that convinced me to ask you to stay. You ruined my solitude! Then your medical knowledge forced me to survive until retirement. Not only have you ruined my life, but on numerous occasions, you have saved it!" I embraced him. "My most sincere thanks to you, old chap. Ratigan was once my closest friend. Now you are. You have been for years, although I never have been the most skillful of mice at expressing friendship. I give thanks that nothing unfortunate has befallen you, for I know not what I should have done had it not been for you."