Title: The Carnivore Gets to Taste an 'Eyeball'
Author: chromeluster27
Genre: Romance, Humor
Pairing: TYL!Hibari/TYL!Chrome -1896-
Prompt: 1896love (Hibari x Chrome Community) 100 Themes Challenge at LiveJournal – #72. Mischief Managed
Rating: PG-13/T
Warnings: Fluff, possible OOCness (but I swear in the sacred name of Hibird that I tried my very hardest to keep them in-character, please you'll be the judge), crazy jokes from Hibari and Dino, was not beta read so please expect for traces of grammar errors and/or typos (please pray that I'll finally have the urge to find one… Do you want to be my beta reader? LOL, I'm a stubborn person you know, you might not find me as a good client :D).
Summary: "I want you to go to an eyeball…", "Bronco, quit joking around with anatomical references, it's not funny." Never been in one Hibari Kyoya would sure have a memorable first taste of it together with a mystery girl. –TYL!1896-
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Katekyo Hitman Reborn!'. The awesome Amano Akira-sensei was very lucky she was. T.T I envy her, really… I'm sure you do too. ^_^
A/N: -OMFG, if you are my friends at LiveJournal, you must have been one of the witnesses of my insanity and badmouthing due to the freaking damn malfunction of in my account, for two hell weeks I can't log-in! But now it's alright I'M BAAAAAACCCCCK!-
Finally another 1896 story, cheers my fellow shippers! So this one is another happy and weird HibariChrome interaction, and I got inspired by the reviews I got from my first ever 1896 one-shot, "A Night Sojourn in Paris" (so if you reviewed that one, this one's for all of you! XD). However, I am planning to have this one as a two to three shot story (depending on my mood, hahaha…). I know you're now getting impatient of my useless talks (though honestly, I love writing my author's note than the story itself T.T) so before I turn this into a long journal entry…
Please enjoy my craziness, minna~!
{ Hitotoki no kaze ga, nagareteku hoshi ga… Hakondekureru no KIRAMEKI nagara… }
A cup of aromatic jasmine tea, three pieces of rice cakes with plum filling, a bowl of rice, a small wooden tray of sushi, a serving of beef teriyaki and a pair of chopsticks… a usual breakfast for a usual solitary morning of the Vongola Cloud Guardian, Hibari Kyoya…
Though most of the normal human beings would get fed up easily of eating the same food in every single day of his boring existence in this lifetime alone, in contrast, it will be completely average on you if you are that crazy-tonfa-wielding-former-prefect-of-Namimori-Middle-School-who-loathes-crowds-and-mingling-like-it-was-the-most-hideous-mortal-sin-ever, and guess what, our protagonist for today was coincidentally one of those (abnormal) persons ever born in this world.
Yes, he enjoyed every single detail of his accustomed morning. That soothing scent from the Japanese-made jasmine tea he was endeavoring at the moment, the sweet and sour taste of the plums playing on his meticulous tongue, that sticky yet hard texture of that Japanese cultivated rice in his cobalt porcelain bowl, the fresh flavor of sushi tickling every single one of his taste buds, and the savory sauce complimenting that well-cooked meat in his teriyaki plate. However, these palatable pieces of sumptuous Japanese cuisine were not the main reason why he takes pleasure in having this kind of breakfast. Rather, it was because this is only one of the rare moments he can feel sweet serenity in his household…
…
Car tires screeching, engine stopped.
…
Door slid open.
…
Fast and galloping footsteps approaching the dining room...
…
…and Hibari Kyoya is now aggravated to death due to a certain someone who barged in his traditional Japanese house and shattered the melody of chirping birds with his annoying loud mouth…
"Kyoya! Rise and shine! It's me your beloved ex-home tutor!"
Oh great, the unwanted visitor was the idiotic Bucking Horse, Dino Cavallone. He came just in the right timing for the guardian's scheduled morning warm-up.
"Do you seriously want to be bitten to death that badly to destroy the peace in my house?"
He raised his right arm to reveal that it was grasping a metal tonfa. It was gleaming as if telling Dino to call his life insurance agent now, and fast.
"W-wait Kyoya! That's not how you should treat your guests! Geez, you're still a problem kid as ever…"
"I don't remember any appointment with you today, so you are a trespasser, and trespassers are…"
He stood up from his comfortable seat, revealing his left arm now that was also clutching a metal tonfa like the other. Dino sweat dropped, the blow without empathy is coming…
"…bitten to death without mercy…"
Thank heavens, Romario was just also in the right timing and entered the room a homicide will be taking place milliseconds later. The Cavallone boss shoved away his subordinate and reached for the metal briefcase he brought with him…
BAM!
Poor briefcase, it became a substitute for Dino's face to take in the sheer wrath of an irritated carnivore. Sure, if the blond Italian was hit with that raging chunk of metal, first aid would not be enough, and it will cause him millions for the repair of his (handsome) face…
Though surprisingly, the suitcase was not even damaged, nope, not a single scratch.
The raven-haired guardian retreated and fortunately decided to slump back to his seat for another calming sip of jasmine tea. The blonde's eyes widened in shock and amusement for this action of his former student, somehow Hibari Kyoya can now control his irritation upon him. (Hahaha, lucky dig!)
Dino's mental celebration was cut short by this monotonous query from Hibari.
"Something important must be inside that briefcase, isn't it? For it to be that hard to destroy…"
"Hahaha! You finally noticed. This is the reason why I visited you today. These are the documents and files you asked Tsuna last week. He told me that you have an appointment with him today but he said something came up and he needed to go somewhere instead later. So for Tsuna to worry no more, I volunteered to do a door-to-door delivery service for you!"
The Italian adorned in a yellow fur coat sat cheerfully at the chair opposite the man in yukata, while placing the briefcase on top of the table.
"Oi! Are you listening to me, Kyoya?"
But the only response the grinning blonde got from the person he was talking to: a silent sip from his cup of Jasmine tea.
"Hey! Kyoya! At least thank me for bringing this…"
Glare.
Flinch.
"Then if you're already done talking you can now leave that briefcase here and get your herbivorous presence out of my house. Now."
"No way, I would not give these to you that easily. I know you know how hard it must be to obtain these vital statistics and information about your next target, do you?"
"I know that perfectly."
The Cavallone boss flashed that mocking and highly suspicious grin to the man opposite him, while he clutched that briefcase back and continued,
*evil laugh* this is to make you pay for those broken bones and numerous bruises you caused me for the past years, Kyoya.
"Then follow my conditions… Aaaaahh! Give that back!"
Living up to the title "The Strongest Vongola Guardian", Hibari Kyoya snatched the briefcase from the tight embrace the annoying blonde gave it without difficulty. Dino was now trying to seize the vital case back. However he ended up grabbing thin air in a comical way, if you imagine what I mean.
He smirked to his wimpy ex-home tutor and mumbled a goodbye in a serious yet insulting manner,
"The door is wide open now. You may now leave the rest to me. Just inform the herbivore boss that I have already received the files."
But much to the former prefect's chagrin, the idiot Bronco was still wearing that playful sneer on his annoying face. He raised an eyebrow when the Italian burst into a crazy laugh. Hibari mentally rolled his eyes. This gatecrasher is really getting on his nerves.
Dino finally get a hold of himself again, and while wiping away those tears welling from his eye due to excessive laughing, he threw a mind rocking question to the guardian,
"It's locked shut, how would you open it?"
And in turn the Cloud threw back a mind rocking answer…
"What? The door is wide open for your departure, it doesn't have any padlocks."
"Geez, Kyoya! I'm not talking about the door."
He directed his gaze to the briefcase Hibari grabbed from his custody a few aching moments ago.
"Oh. Then I'll just crack it open."
"No, no, no. I'm afraid you cannot do that. It's reinforced steel you have there, there's no way you could destroy it with your tonfa. Wait, don't try to burn it with your Dying Will Flame, it is highly combustible with it, or seconds later your precious information you have there will turn to ash in a flash!"
Well judging from the strike his tonfa gave it earlier, Hibari was convinced that this cranky Bronco was telling the truth. The Cloud guardian mentally face palmed, Dino Cavallone was sure plotting up something fishy again. But he needed those documents urgently, for Hibari Kyoya has strict work ethics,
"I don't have time to play with your nonsense gags you herbivore Bronco. Just hurry up and tell me how to open this or I'll make you spit it out for good."
"Nah-ah-ah, Kyoya! I have secretly infused a bomb inside it, look! The activator is here with me! Hahaha! Try and hit me then everything will go BOOM!"
And he waved that remote control with a big red button back and forth in front of the frowning guardian's face. Before he suffers again from the swift thief abilities of the cloud guardian, the Bucking Horse immediately tucked the device again in his sleeves.
"Oh, Kyoya. I know what you're thinking. You are planning on contacting Tsuna right now to ask another copy of the document, do you? Well, I'm afraid that that scheme would not work, because Tsuna is going in some new island bought by the Vongola, he will be staying there for a month. Unfortunately for you, roaming cell phone connections don't reach there…"
The salient Hibari Kyoya let out a sigh of resignation, and realized…
"Fine. I'll do your condition."
…that that idiot Bronco intentionally did this and he was really preparing something herbivorous up his sleeve…
"Good boy, Kyoya! Now, the condition…"
…though it was still unknown to him…
"Hurry and spit it out before I change my mind and bite you to death."
…he knew it was something he had never done before…
"I want you to go to an eyeball…"
…and alas! He was right after all, though it was a thousand times more dreadful than he has expected.
"Bronco, quit joking around with anatomical references, it's not funny. How are you supposed to go to an eyeball?"
Dino almost fell back from his seat. How far is Kyoya outdated about these things for crying out loud!
"It's not a literal eyeball! Geez, you're lucky you'll be experiencing one courtesy of me!"
"Then go directly to the point. I'm getting impatient. I need those documents now."
"Hahaha! Listen carefully Kyoya, I'm doing this for the sake of your uncertain future. I don't want to see my former *cough*cute*cough* student spending the rest of his life single and unloved."
Dino is now resting his chin to his right hand while giving the epitome-of-everything-violent his first lecture about the wishful thing called love.
Though he's not sure if the battle monster was even paying attention to his babbling…
"Okay, so an eyeball is a way for two single people to meet and talk about their common interests, those things they do in life and the like, to cut it short it's a 'getting to know each other' activity. Most frequently, it aims to find you a partner, that is, a girlfriend."
Hibari: not reacting. Dino: overreacting.
"It's somehow, uhmm… like a date."
"…"
"Hey! Are you listening? Okay, either way you are obliged to turn up later at exactly 6 o'clock in the evening, at the Mezzino a la Pasta restaurant, you know that right? It's a mafia-owned restaurant! Table 96, it's reserved. Okay? A little hint, get the heart of that girl and off you go! Hahaha! Enjoy!"
Hibari flipped the briefcase back and forth. And yes, the idiot Bronco definitely loved playing with figurative speech, because the slot for the key was indeed 'heart-shaped'.
"Going to so much trouble for having a customized briefcase like this and setting up that awful eyeball thing just to prank with me, really that Bronco secretly wants me dead."
And so Dino Cavallone left the house while whistling merrily. Finally, sweet revenge to Kyoya! Muahahaha!
{ Kasuka ni kikoeru ano yasashii koe… Machi no hi mo hohoenderu… :)}
Mezzino a la Pasta Restaurant, 5:45 PM, reserved table #96.
Hibari Kyoya, dressed in his usual formal suit, with a face expression between bored and annoyed, wasted no time and immediately rested himself at the reserved table the Bronco told him to. Of course, he arrived 15 minutes earlier than the designated meeting time because discipline always comes first to him.
"This way, sir."
The waitress guided him to his seat. Hibari nonchalantly followed the lady, now with that blank expression painted on his face. He observed the flocking herbivores at each table. So, are all of them also doing this outrageous activity called eyeball?
"What do you want to order while waiting for your date, sir?"
Date… damn that Bronco. I'll seriously bite him to death after this… whatever.
"Water."
Minutes later, the waitress came back with a pitcher of ice-cold water. She poured some of it on the silent guardian's wine glass.
"Do you have anything else to request for, sir?"
He shot a piercing look to the lady. It was a give away that the poor waitress felt shivers down her spine due to absolute horror.
"Shut your mouth and leave me alone."
True enough, the terrified woman sprinted back to the kitchen and was gone in only a matter of seconds. Honestly, Hibari should try applying as a marathon coach at the Japan's national Olympic team for this feat…
"Pathetic herbivore…"
With eyelids shut close and arms crossed over his chest, the carnivore waited for the mystery girl she was supposed to meet today, that supposedly holds the key to see his important documents. Just who the hell this woman might be?
"Uhm… ah…"
This waitress… as irritating as the idiot Bronco who started it all…
"Haven't I told you to leave me alone already? A glass of water is enough."
The annoyed guardian opened his eyes to scare the hell out of the waitress once more, but instead he wanted to punch his face for his action because the woman in front of him was not a waitress.
Rather, the girl wore a purple cocktail dress, with a lilac heart-shaped pendant hanging on her neck complimenting her blue locks flowing gloriously down her shoulders. That ebon eye patch with the skull symbol completed her identity as…
"C-Chrome Dokuro."
"A-Ah, Hi-Hibari-san! I'm so sorry!"
She bowed politely as a sign of apology.
He pushed his face onto his left hand as a sign of disbelief.
"Are you the…" He asked the girl, now with his gray eyes fixed at the face of his "date of the evening". (Though the thought of it was horrible…)
"Uhm… Dino-san told me to go here today… and that I need to meet the person occupying table number 96…"
The skylark mentally cursed the stupid Cavallone. So, he wants him to have this… this… woman to be his girlfriend?
"Tch. He's definitely planning a hell of a future for me…" He was now thinking of some plausible ways of avenging himself to his ex-home tutor after this…
"Hibari-san? What are you talking about?"
"Hn. Take your seat now."
And so the startled female guardian approached the huge oak-made chair opposite the other guardian. But, it was so heavy that she cannot even drag it an inch. When the impatient raven head noticed the woman's problem, he exhaled exasperatedly and pulled the seat for her.
"T-Thanks, Hibari-san…"
However, her gratitude did not reach the skylark. He casually got back to his seat to take another sip of water.
If not for the classic music playing at the background, it will definitely be an awkward silence enveloping the two.
Hibari was trying to figure out the reason that convinced the damn Bronco to pair him up with this… woman. He pretended to direct his gray eyes at his wine glass quarter-full of water that he raised slightly, just enough for him to observe the female guardian discreetly…
Well, she looked okay tonight with that attire, especially of her finally deciding to discard that weird and loathsome pineapple hairstyle. She's fair skinned, well, he hated to admit it but she was the fairest out of all the woman he have ever met. That eye, it did not contain any murderous look on it so it was nothing special. Her attire, well, it suited her. Period.
But aside from her physical appearance, the skylark was like struck by a big stone on the head when he realized this fact: both of them were the only ones remaining single out of the guardians. The herbivore boss got the Sasagawa girl, the dynamite freak got the noisy girl from god-knows-where, the other Sasagawa is already married to his sister's best friend, the idiot cow is harboring a crush for the Chinese girl. Oh, the baseball bastard was courting a lady from another allied family while that despicable pineapple Rokudo Mukuro was gone without a trace with a famous writer…
He grinned for his brilliant thinking, very good Hibari Kyoya. So now you have decoded again the flow of an herbivore's (that is, the mastermind Bronco this time.) weird thinking.
…
After a few vulnerable moments of ignoring, a waiter approached their table to take their orders. Luckily, Chrome was there to present a calm face on the waiter. She cheerfully ordered for a plate of carbonara, while Hibari, well, almost killed the waiter (with his stabbing-like-dagger gaze…) but the female guardian just halted the murder in no time and ordered a steak for him.
Surprisingly, their orders came with two envelopes sealed with a heart-shaped stamp. The waiter (though he is awfully horrified by Hibari's glares) tried to explain the mechanics of this eyeball.
"Uhm… Senorita… and Senor please don't kill me… I-I will just explain to you the mechanics of this matchmaking game. This is a promo of our restaurant for Mafiosi who wants to take their day out and find someone suitable as their partners… Uhmm.."
"Don't waste my time. Explain it faster."
And a metal tonfa was ready to send the poor waiter to heaven in a matter of seconds appeared…
"…Okay, Senor! Please, I have a family! Aa-aah, those envelopes contain some questions so that the two of you gets to know each other. You need to answer those questions. The matchmaking game will only last an hour."
"Uhmm… Mister Waiter, what if…" Chrome unfortunately did not finish her question due to the waiter who tries to explain things better and most importantly, faster.
"…oh, what if you finish just before the time ends or you did not finish asking the questions to your date? It's all right, what's important in this date is that heart-shaped pendant we gave you! If the girl decides to give it to Senor… ah Senor please distance that weapon to me please!... Ah, where was I? Yes! If you give that to your date, Senorita then accepts the man as your boyfriend!"
The skylark, who was now taking a gulp of water to cool himself down, almost choked as heard of the heart-shaped pendant Chrome was wearing. Was she really wearing one? He observed the neck of the female illusionist, and there it was! The key to his important documents!
"Did that annoying Bronco gave you that pendant?" He asked terrifyingly to the Mist.
"Ah… This, yes I got it from Dino-san yesterday. Honestly, I don't know it was for this. He just told me to wear this today and…"
But the Cloud, who wanted to snatch that pendant right now, did not allowed her to finish her words and muttered this straightforward declaration,
"Let's start this. I want your heart."
{ Hitotoki no kaze mo, yami ni saku hana mo… Hikari kakushiteru TOKIMEKI nagara… }
That waiter definitely misunderstood things. His fear for the infamous Mafioso, Hibari Kyoya was immediately replaced by admiration. He did not really know that this notorious guardian of the Vongola can utter such romantic words towards an extremely beautiful woman (who deserved it, at his opinion).
"Let's start this. I want your heart."
As the phrase plays over and over again his mind, the waiter also giggled and giggled as if he was watching a fluffy scene from a romance movie.
If he only knew what is that heart the Cloud was talking about…
"Hey! Don't you know? Senor Hibari Kyoya of the Vongola Family was not that scary, in fact he's a Casanova! You know what…"
…and now due to a communication misunderstanding he was now spreading wrong humors about the Cloud Guardian in his kitchen colleagues…
"No way! You're lying, he just scared the hell out me a while a go!"
"Woman, you're just in the wrong timing, and what's more…"
…
…
…
"Oh my goodness, is that true?"
"Kyaaaa!"
"How sweet…"
…but sadly, the waiter was already adding some of his fantasies in his narrations.
And that might cause him to have some infinite fantasies later on… IN HEAVEN.
Meanwhile…
Chrome was also awestricken at that phrase…
"Let's start this. I want your heart."
She cannot believe this. Did Hibari-san just say that he wants her heart? Seriously?
A sip from her red wine, she now entered a long train of thoughts…
After all these years, well, she thought of the memories she had together with Hibari. They were closer than before, bearing in mind their on how the guardian nonchalantly ignored her for the past years. Hmm, sure there were around six missions that they were sent together by Boss. One of it was in Paris, where she started calling him by his last name. Hibari-san was also her exchange gift partner twice in their annual Christmas Party. Uhmm… what else? Ah, scratch that, only one thing's for sure, the Cloud Guardian was sure hard to predict.
The eye patched woman was so concentrated into her logic forming that she almost didn't noticed the former prefect was now gradually…
"A-Ah, Hibari-san! W-what are you…"
He smirked amusedly, and responded to the girl's innocent question…
"Don't move."
…leaning forward…
"Uhmm…"
…fast heartbeats rocked Chrome's world like it will jump out of her rib cage…
Lubb. Dubb. Lubb. Dubb.
…and she did not expect that Hibari Kyoya is this aggressive and serious…
"Don't you dare to move an inch, or I'll bite you to death." His warm yet fresh breath touched her delicate skin that made her cheeks burn.
Lubb. Dubb. Lubb. Dubb.
…in winning her heart…
…
"Hibari-san?"
…
{ Kasuka ni kikoeta ano natsukashii koe… Mado wo ake miagetemiru mou ichido… :) }
A/N: Thanks for reading the first part till the end! Cliffhanger much? XD Honestly, I don't know when I would be able to update this one because of: 1) University Life, 2) College Life and lastly 3) School Life… these freaking activities would finally torment me :P Hahaha… I know, I know that's lame but if you leave me enough pineapples (Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms…) in my pineapple drop box to inspire me to write the sequel fast, well, what do you know I might finish this faster...
Another thing, I would also like you to give me some ideas for the questionnaire that they would be answering in this story (because honestly speaking, I have never been in an eyeball in my worthless life…). Will you lend me a hand? You can leave those crazy ideas in my pineapple drop box as well :D (And mind you, the CRAZIER, the BETTER XD).
So please, please, pleeeeeaase treat me my pineapple now! :D *wink*