While living in the forest Marian finds a stack of letters Robin wrote to her when he was fighting in the holy land.

This is my first ever story so I haven't any experience please review or message me and tell me what you think and how I can improve. This is spell checked (thank god I can't spell to save my life) but there may still be some mistakes so I'm sorry. I also apologise profusely for the grammar which is just as bad as my spelling. On with the story hope you like it.

A gust of wind swept through the forest howling loud. Marian shivered, although she would never admit it she was finding that she missed the comforts of a life of nobility. Mostly the warmth of indoors. It annoyed her to think she was in any way weaker than the others and so she would sit in front of the fire long after the gang had gone to bed to hide her shivers as she tried to get to sleep.

She sighed it had been at least an hour and a half since the last of the gang had retired and Marian got up and stumbled through the darkened camp. "ahhhh" She hissed under her breath she had tripped on something and gone flying. Marian pulled herself up and crouched next to what see could now deem as a sack. In kicking it Marian had spread its con tense across the ground and now set about gathering it up. Not much here, two daggers a quill some spare clothes including Marian noted a crusaders grab. Even in the dim light the red cross was easy to distinguish. It had to be Robins; Much's bunk was across camp next to his kitchen.

Marian's eyes slide across the floor looking for any possessions left behind. She spotted a small square bundle a reached across to pick it up. The fire was dieing down and it took Marian several moments to realise it was a stack of letters. Marian frowned who would be sending Robin so many letters. Marian rubbed the parchment between her fingers it was worn and old. Robin had no close family or friends to write to him. Had robin had a sweetheart while he was away, whom he still kept letters from? Jealously surged through Marian, surly not. They had to be from and friend or brother at arms. Marian had to be sure; she new it was silly and rude to read Robins mail but she was not used to feeling jealous and it stung her. Tucking the bundle under her arm she pushed the ruck sack under Robins bunk and headed back to the fire. she added a fresh log and with some prodding and fire roared back to life. In the newly bright light Marian examined the letters once more and was puzzled to find no address or recipient on the envelope.

Marian pulled the top letter from the bundle and opened it, her eyes grew wide its was not a love note from some floozy to Robin, it wasn't a note from anyone to Robin. It was from Robin to...her.

Marian slowly began to read,

My Dearest Marian,

How I miss you, what I have seen I cannot even bring myself to say. I regret it, regret war, regret death, regret coming here but mostly regret leaving you,

Regret that I will never again see your lips smiling at me,

Regret that ill never again kiss them,

I regret that I can not touch your hair,

Regret that this land is not filled with the sound of your laughter, or even your scolds

I regret the things I have said, words that have hurt you

And worst regret the things I didn't not say

I regret that now I shall never get to say them.

But I do not and never have regretted loving you

Tears were sparking at the back of Marians eyes but she read on gently opening the next letter.

My Dearest Marian,

I wonder what you are doing

And who you are with

I wonder if you think of me

And if it is in longing or anger

I wonder how you have changed

And how you are the same

I wonder how I have changed without you

With only blood for company

I wonder what Locksley looks like now

Do you still go there, and lie by the pond

I wonder if you try to imagine me

Like I do you

I wonder if you could imagine war

I could not imagine the reality

I wonder why I am here

Why any of us are here

I wonder why I left

And why I have not retuned

I wonder if I ever will

I wonder if you will be there if I do

I doubt it?

Fat tears now rolled down Marians cheeks blended with those that had fallen when the ink was still wet.

But she read on, these letters were for her and in them Robin opened up to her like he never could in person.

My Dearest Marian,

In my dreams I can still call you that

In my dreams you still want me to

In my dreams we are together

In my dreams we are happy

In my dreams there is not war

In my dreams Locksley is the setting

In my dreams we are in love

In my dreams we are married

In my dreams we are happy

In my dreams we have children

In my dreams we have a daughter

In my dreams she is beautiful just like you

In my dreams I teach all our children to shot a bow

In my dreams they all do it brilliantly

In my dreams we are happy

In my dreams we are growing old together

In my dreams time does not weaken or bond

In my dreams you are still gorgeous

In my dreams we live forever together in heaven

In my dreams we are happy

In my nightmares I can not say I love you

In my nightmares someone else is saying it

In my nightmares you say it back

In my nightmares you are with another

In my nightmares you are happy with out me

In my nightmares I can not see were you are

In my nightmares I can see it is far from me

In my nightmares it is not me you love

In my nightmares it is not me you marry

In my nightmares you have children but I never do

In my nightmares you are happy without me

In my nightmares you grow old by a faceless stranger's side

In my nightmares we have no bond left

In my nightmares we meet in heaven but you live forever with another

In my nightmares you are happy without me

In my reality I do not know what you are doing

In my reality I do not know what you are feeling

In my reality I do not know who you have feelings for

In my reality I fear the truth of my nightmares

And in my reality I pray for my dreams.

Marian pulled open and next letter wiping the tears that threatened to ruin these precious insights into Robin.

My Dearest Marian,

I hate the distants

I love home

I hate the holy land

I love the king

But I hate his mission

I love England

I hate how hot this place is

I love green of Sherwood

I hate that all I see is brown stained red

I love victory

But hate that war has no winners

I love you

And hate me for leaving

Marian placed the letter on the pile by her side and picked up the final letter, it was without an envelope and Marian could see dark patches of crimson. Couscous she unfolded the paper and leaned forwarded into the fire light.

My Dearest Marian,

I fear for my life

I fear that it will end before I see you again

I fear that if I do live it won't be with you

I fear that rather it will be with the haunting images of war

I fear those images

I fear the blood soaked sand

I fear the smell of decaying flesh that when I close my eyes and open them once more the image does not fade

I fear I will never see you again

That's what I fear most

Because without you my love what is life

And if I have nothing in life why fear death

I had never thought of such things before I came here

My will to live always stronger than my fear of death

Now my fear of death is only equalled by my fear of life without you

I fear you don't know I love you

I fear you don't care

The last letter was messy and hurried getting steadily worst the last sentence half obscured by and bloody stain. Marian's heart ached as she thought of Robin injured, dieing and trying to tell her he loved her not knowing hundreds of miles away she was wondering if he did.

She sat for a while staring into the fire or re reading the letters is wondering about them. She folded them back into there envelope and tied them back up. Creeping over to place them back in the coffers of Robin's bag. Marian stood back up and watched him he was shivering, covered only with one blanket Marian frowned Robin had had more than that. Marian shuffled to her bunk and sure enough there were Robins missing blankets laid out and neatly tucked across her bed. Despite the obvious effort that went into there neatness Marian tugged all the blankets of her bed leaving it quite bare.

She laid them over Robin gently before folding them back and slipping underneath. Snuggling up to Robin's cold form. "hhmm Marian" Marian smiled

"I never stopped loving you Robin of Locksley" Marian whispered into his ear placing a kiss on his gradually warming cheek. She buried her face against his chest and fell into the first peaceful sleep she had had since arriving in to forest.

Thanks for reading this is my first story so please review and give me some feed back and pointers thankyou!