Hey guys this is my first Hunger Games fanfic….I tried my best and I think I managed to catch how Peeta's feeling at the end of the Hunger Games. So anyways enjoy and if you guys are into The Darkest Powers or the Thunderbirds check out my other stuff.

I love her but she hates me, her name is Katniss Everdeen and she's my first love.

Do first loves ever last?

I keep asking myself I love the feeling she gives me. Every time we hug I never want to let her go, every time she looks at me I try to imagine she's looking at me like I'm everything she could ever need.

See we were 'together' in the 74th Hunger Games I thought she liked me, she acted like it at least but what do I know? Apparently nothing since it was all an act to her I'm just the Baker's son.

She could never love somebody like me; she's too confident and strong. Me, well I'm too emotionally unstable and clingy for her taste.

When will she see I could be everything she needs? Gale is ok for her but he's too angry he'd only stoke her inner flame and then we'd have a mini uprising on our hands.

Why can't she see I'd be so much better?

I miss her like crazy and pretending for crowds doesn't do it for me. I crave our moments in the arena when we were in the cave. I must've watched that video a million times…..

I ordered the video from Effie a while back she'd gladly sent it saying she loved "keeping the love alive" I'd only said "ya" enthusiastically for her benefit when really I'm dying inside.

She's in my dreams, dreams with her are the only thing that break apart the nightmares. But she's also the thing making the nightmares twice as bad.

I'll wake up scared and I can't call her or see if she's ok so I end up convincing myself she's dead and having a panic attack and never falling back to sleep.

I'm scared I'll lose her; afraid she'll never speak to me again.

I ended things soI shouldn't be angry I shouldn't miss her. I only said those things because I was angry at her and Haymitch I never wanted to stop talking to her completely.

I miss her so badly but she has Gale and it's obvious she loves him even though he's just her "cousin"

I just feel like she's the only girl for me even if I'm not the only guy for her.

I think of my dad he liked Katniss' mom but married my mother. I would ask how that happened but I'd only make him angry it seems.

I feel empty without her like my life has no meaning I want to be near her all the time. I want to be back in that sleeping bag holding her while she slept looking at her calm face without the smirk.

She's beautiful especially when she smiles I just hope she realizes that.

I think of all the times we saw each other and started faking it. Sometimes she'd ask if I'm ok I'd just say "I'm fine." And I was.

Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

Fine, yes that was a perfect word. I told her the meaning once I guess she didn't remember because she never questioned it again.

So now as I sit in my room I look across over to her house and I can only imagine what she's doing, I wish I knew…..

Ok there you go it's kinda short and sweet. I was writing this when I was kind of depressed and I can kinda relate to Peeta….anyways I'll stop complaining so anyone reading this if I totally bummed you out I'm sorry that wasn't the intention in the beginning. Anyways take care viewers