Izaya Orihara did not want to fall in love.

Love was interesting to watch, one of his favorite things, but ugh - just the thought of fawning over someone, giving things up for someone, gazing lovingly into someone's eyes made him want to take a long shower. Especially the gazing lovingly into someone's eyes. Sappiness was sort of pathetic. Izaya Orihara was not pathetic. Izaya Orihara did not want to fall in love.

Anyway, he was pretty sure he never would fall in love. He wasn't the type. No, Izaya just didn't do things like that, and if he did, he wouldn't go around staring sappily at anyone. He'd get over it as soon as possible and move on. No years of pining after someone. No elaborate maneuvers just to get them to notice him. He refused to be typical. In general, he refused to fall in love.

Therefore, it was rather inevitable that he did.

And even worse, when he did, it was sickeningly, pathetically, boringly normal

(As normal as you can get, at least, when you're Izaya Orihara and you're falling for someone who throws large appliances at people when he gets angry. It was still disgustingly normal for Izaya's tastes.)

It was normal from the start, when he'd gotten curious about this interestingly violent Shizuo Heiwajima and hung around outside his classroom after school to see what the school freak looked like. The back of his head looked normal - bleach blonde, boringly rebellious - but when he'd turned around and glared at Izaya, Izaya's heart had jumped into his throat and danced around there for a while.

He thought, Oh, not really? Him?

It got more annoyingly normal when he realized Shizuo probably wasn't glaring at him, since that was how he looked at everyone, and his heart fell back into his stomach with a thud. A painful thud. He was not going to do it like this. He'd told himself he wouldn't.

But he couldn't help watching Shizuo anyway. He told himself it was in his nature, but that didn't help much.

It was even normal after that, because the next day Izaya had oh-so-casually (he hated himself for that) asked Shinra about this - what was his name again? Oh, right. Yeah, he seems...a little interesting. Could I meet him?

It was already pathetic. And they hadn't even spoken yet. He was probably going to stammer or something when they did.

He was already disgusted with himself by the time he headed outside with Shinra, hands stuck in his pockets before he had an idea they might shake otherwise. He refused to let himself think will he like me because Izaya Orihara did not care if anyone liked him. (Anyway, from what he'd heard, Shizuo didn't like anyone much, so he shouldn't get his hopes up.)

(He couldn't believe he'd just thought that.)

They arrived in time to see Shizuo destroying something, which wasn't really that rare to see. An interesting freak. An interesting freak who made Izaya's stomach do flip-flops. Pathetic. He perched himself on the railing and started to clap slowly. Cliche and probably annoying, but maybe that was good.

Shizuo stared at them. Glared at them.

"This is Izaya Orihara," said Shinra. "He's not a good guy...actually, he's sort of an asshole."

"That's awful, Shinra," Izaya said, pasting a smirk on his face and meaning every word of it. Not that he wanted Shizuo to like him. Anything but that.

"You piss me off," said Shizuo.

Izaya's heart dropped from his mouth to his toes. He pretended it didn't. Even that was an irkingly normal thing to do.

"Oh?" he said. No, this was good. If he knew Shizuo hated him, Izaya wouldn't bother to chase him, right? If they were enemies, Izaya wouldn't have to worry about his heart lurching around. But even so, his next words slipped out anyway. Maybe he just couldn't resist a game, even a game with himself. "Too bad. I thought we could have some fun."

Shizuo's eyes narrowed, just the way Izaya...wanted. Expected. "Shut up."

Fun? Fun. Maybe he was on the right track after all. It wasn't normal to start fights with people you wanted, and people who you start fights with rarely want you, and sometimes if you tell yourself something enough times, you actually believe it. That worked with other people, anyway.

Izaya touched the knife in his sleeve and batted his eyes at Shizuo. "Don't be like that, Shizuo-kun."

A punch. That was what he was going for. Nobody even dodged Shizuo's punches (because nobody ever expected them), so in that moment where Shizuo was standing around blinking, Izaya flicked open the knife and sliced him. Not a deep cut, just enough to make him feel it. I was here.

It stopped Shizuo for a moment. Not what Izaya had expected. Not normal. Shizuo was looking at him wide eyed, no glare, and that wasn't normal. He grabbed at his chest, face registering something not quite shock, not normal either.

Their eyes met, and Izaya's breath caught. Disgustingly normal.

Before he could stop himself (maybe he didn't want to stop himself), he breathed, "See? Isn't it fun?"

The words hung in the air as they looked at each other, set a precedent, the way they were going to do things from now on.

(It was only then that he realized that meant they could have done things another way, but that would be the normal way, and he didn't want that. Did he?)

(But this was more fun. Wasn't it?)

Then Shizuo roared again, and IZaya cackled and ran off, and the law was set in stone. This was the way they did things. Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima, Ikebukuro's most famous enemies. No love lost between those two. Stay out of their way or who knows what'll happen.

It wasn't normal, that was for sure.