Neon Genesis Disgaea: Hell on Earth.
Chapter 1: A little off course
The Netherworld…
A lawless world, filled with vicious monsters, ruled over by great and terrible demons…The Overlords.
Within the dread castle of Overlord Laharl…
"What's taking so long? Get that Gate open!" Roared a blue haired youth, clad in red shorts and a large red scarf.
"L-lord Laharl, these things take time, you know." Squeaked a sable haired man garbed in priestly robes.
"I don't want your excuses! Get it open now!"
"Laharl, please! You're scaring him! Apologize!" admonished a young blonde girl in a white dress.
"…Just get it open, would you..." Laharl mumbled, stalking off.
" I..I-I'm s-sorry for th-the inc-convience, M-miss…"
"It's alright. Laharl isn't very patient, so he's not easy to deal with right now. But he won't do anything bad to you, don't worry." Flonne's tone soothed the inexperienced Gatekeeper.
"Al-alright, Miss Flonne. I shall endeavour to get the gate open as quickly as possible….Where d-did lord Laharl want to go again?"
"Ummmm…I think it was called…Ummm…." Flonne's tone rapidly grew unsure.
"M-Miss Flonne?"
"No, I know what it was!...It started with a Tok, and there was a number in it….Uhhhmmmm…"
"-FLONNE! WHERE ARE YOU?" Yelled Laharl.
"Oh, I better go see what Laharl wants. Good luck, Mr Gatekeeper!" Flonne said, before running off.
"Th-thank you for the help, miss Flonne. It-shouldn't take-" The Gatekeeper began.
"-IS THAT DAMN GATE OPEN YET!" Thundered Laharl.
Lord Laharl is just as loud as they said!… But assured me he wouldn't do anything too terrib-
"IF THAT GATE ISN'T OPEN IN THE NEXT MINUTE, I'M CUTTING YOUR SALARY!"
Oh. Damn.
"Alright…It starts with a 'tok' and there's a number in it…" What's this? Tokyo-3? But…this is a human city! What would Lord Laharl want here?
"L-lord Laharl?"
"WHAT?"
"I-I'm wondering why you would go here, sir. I-"
"NEVERMIND WHY, DAMMIT! JUST OPEN THE GATE!"
"Y-Yes sir!"
Okay. I can do this, I studied my whole life for this. Just focus on the energy and-
The grand double doors slam open, revealing a furious Laharl, flanked by his vassals.
"STOP STALLING, DAMN YOU!"
"GAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
A burst of mystical energy flares up, blinding everyone in the room. When it clears, there stands an open gate, waiting and ready.
"Took you long enough, Gatekeeper."
"I'm s-sorry, L-Lord Laharl. I was having…difficulties."
Laharl walked right up to the Gatekeeper, grinning the whole way.
"Well then… next time, don't have them." Laharl turned and strode towards the gate, leaving the Gatekeeper cowering on the cold floor.
"Hey, Flonne." A red haired girl in short shorts
"Yes, Etna?"
"Did you get that DVD you ordered? Tokyo Ninja 3 or whatever it was?"
"I think it came in the mail today. Jennifer and I are going to watch it later. Do you want to join us?
"Eh, It's not like I'm doing anything important today."
"The Forces of Evil shall feel our Defender Spirit!"
"And now our pet human's here. Great."
"Would you all quit your babbling? We have an important mission to accomplish. Now let's go!"
"G-good luck, Lord Laharl."
Laharl and co vanished through the gate, leaving the gatekeeper alone.
... I don't think I've ever heard of a city called Tokyo-3. So why would Lord Laharl go to a human city? His foot brushed against something. A package? I wonder who it's for. Let's see…
"Tokyo Ninja 3? For…?"
Wait a minute….Ms Flonne said there was a Tok and a number in the….
"…I'm doomed."
The Dead Sea Scrolls held much knowledge. How to construct the Eva's, the functions of the Lance of Longinus, even a timeline of the angels and their powers.
Nowhere did the scrolls mention a green penguin able to go toe-to-toe with an Angel and win.
"Fuyutsuki."
"Yes, Ikari?"
"The Scenario requires…Adjustment."
Ritsuko Akagi, the blonde head of project E, sighed. Everyone else had already gone home, but she was still in her sterile office, poring over the readings from the angel battle.
I should review the footage again. Maybe I've missed something.
Her monitor crackled to life, calling up the day's Angel battle.
…No, the cyborg penguin was still punching a hole through the angel, while the Eva lay against the mountainside like a pile of junk.
Ritsuko sighed, quickly switching to other videos of their 'guests'.
There was the blue-haired brat, attempting to cow Gendo, and failing miserably.
There was the blonde girl, attempting to cheer up the Third Child, and failing miserably.
And there was the red haired girl, attempting to rile up the First Child, and failing miserably.
While they all had red eyes, no AT fields were detected when they attacked the Fourth Angel, so they probably weren't Nephilim.
Ritsuko cursed, shutting off the computer. There wasn't anything that she could think of that could explain these...things. Besides, she could think about it tomorrow, after a nice dinner, a hot bath, and some real sleep. Ritsuko broke into a laugh, remembering the blue haired boy's utter shock when Misato snuck up on him. Wonder if I could get her and that Jennifer girl to double team that cocky little boy.
Though, as Ritsuko walked to her car, there was just one thing bothering her...
What did that Etna girl mean by 'hacking your title'?
(The next day)
Laharl wandered through the metal halls of Nerv. He had successfully escaped from the purple haired woman, who had to be a Succubus in disguise…Unfortunately; this had come at a cost.
He was utterly lost.
"Why can't this damn place have maps? They fight giant monsters! There's no need to confound a human opponent!" A technician walked up to Laharl, intent on helping him, or at least calming him, until Laharl punched the wall, leaving a beach ball-sized crater in the solid steel. The technician immediately ran back to his station. Someone else could deal with the petulant death-machine. Section Two continued to shadow him…from the safety of the cameras.
This place is a damned maze! Who would build something like this? Half of these corridors are dead ends! I should just blow a hole in the roof and leave that way…Hang on, that might drop the whole thing on me, and it's not worth trying to dig myself out. Besides, Flonne would probably yell at me.
So lost in thought was Laharl, he didn't notice the power failure…until he walked right into a wall.
"Oh great, now where…am…I?" The room was incredibly dark. He couldn't even see his hands…and someone else was here.
"Is there someone in here? Show yourself immediately!"
Nothing.
"You know, hiding won't save you. Lets see where you-"
A pair of eyes blazed to life, staring at him.
"GAH! W-what the hell are you?"
The eyes offered no response, merely continuing to stare at him.
"…No re-response, huh!...Well, lets see just what you are, then!"
A ball of light flared into existence, illuminating the entire room in bright light.
When Laharl opened his eyes, he saw exactly what had been staring at him.
He wished he hadn't.
OMAKE!
Mad Scientists are the best scientists
This was it. He was going to die. Shinji Ikari knew that he would die here. Against a gigantic monster, that was currently whipping him with plasma. And if he died, that meant everyone else would too.
He couldn't let that happen.
And so, summoning every bit of energy he had, he gripped the controls as tightly as he could, and a single word rang out…
"EXPERIMENT!"
"Mao, don't you think you went a little overboard?"
"Quiet, Beryl! My methods are flawless!"
"So you know why we're in the middle of nowhere?"
"What are you talking about, Beryl? We …the…Where are we?"
"Beats me. Maybe you could've asked that monster. Oh wait, you blew it up."
"Sh-Shut up! This is merely a minor setbac-…Is that…what I think it is?"
"What are you talking about, Mao?"
"IT IS! A GIANT ROBOT!"
"Oh boy, here he goes."
"Cybernetic Implants! Modular Armour! Maybe it transforms, or has hidden weapons!"
"Mao, stop it. You're drooling."
"SILENCE! I've made my decision! I'm taking it back with me!"
"Mao, wait! It won't fit through the gate!"
"I'LL MAKE IT FIT!"
"What…What the hell just happened!" Said an extremely confused Misato Katsuragi.
"That…That white haired Bastard just stole Unit 01! HOW?" Roared an equally confused Ritsuko.
Ignoring the clamouring bridge below, Fuyutsuki turned to the Commander.
"Now what, Ikari?" he inquired plainly.
Gendo merely put his head in his hands, and cried.