VAN HELSING NEWS AT 11am
V.H.- Hello and welcome to Van Helsing news the morning addition. Today's top story can you be too sexy? We go to our field reporter Carl.
Carl- Thank you, I am here with Dracula, our field reporter, vampire and one sexy guy.
Dracula-Why thank you.
Carl- And the phantom of the opera, psychotic killer, genius, and yet another sexy guy……with the mask on.
(phan girls glare evilly)
Carl- Why are these men so sexy,
Poto- Genetics?
Carl-Shut up SeXy MoThEr BaNgInG tArD!……..sorry I'm good now.
(poto glares evilly and whips out Punjab)
Poto- Don't make me use this!
Carl- ……..anyway, Why are these guys so sexy?
Dracula- Because I'm the pimp master times 99!
(I'm too sexy for my shirt or what ever that song is called starts to play, Dracula dances like……..ya know what just use your imagination)
Carl- There ya have it folks details at eleven!
Poto- it is eleven.
Carl- Eleven at night smarty pants!
(Poto waves Punjab)
Poto- Don't make me use this.
Carl- Now back to you Van Helsing!
V.H.- Thank you Carl! Now for the weather with Hugh Jackman. Hugh….
Hugh- Today's weather is very Australian back to you!
V.H.-Thank you, Now for our 11pm schedule.
11:00pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his shirt?
11:01pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his pants?
11:02pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his hair?
11:03pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his shoes?
11:04pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his socks?
11:05pm-Why is Dracula to sexy for his underwear?
11:06pm-11:15pm- How Dracula got arrested for indecency.
11:16pm-The weather with Hugh Jackman.
11:17pm-11:27pm-The proper way to loop a Punjab with The Phantom of the Opera.
11:28pm-11:42pm-An interview with an idiot tonight's guest Raoul.
11:42pm-12pm- The annual coverage of the annual snog competition with contestants including: Anna and Van Helsing, Dracula and his three brides, carl and that random barmaid, Poto and Christine, Valcon and his pillow, MiMi and Roger, Ryan and Colin, Katie Batho and Billy Martin, Sean Athurs and Hugh Jackman, Joanne and Maurine, Raoul and his cardboard cut out of Spiderman, Beky and Bob the Brain freeze Hannah and Orlando, last but not least the Poto again with Jenna Insinga.
V.H.- Well thank you very much for watching and see you at Eleven Good bye.
Random news guy- but we still have 55 minutes!
V.H.- We do?………Well then we go to The Phantom of the Opera for the traffic and maybe some stripping.
Poto-What!
V.H.- Come On Man We Have 55 minutes to blow!
Poto- ……………
V.H.- Please!
Poto-……………………………...
V.H.- Come on man make your decision!
Poto-……………………………...
V.H. Not getting any younger.
Poto- ………………………………...fine.
(And the Phan Girls go wild)
(A/N- Well tell me what you think! Like it, hate it, love it?)