He Dreams He's Awake
Summery: Sleep leaves even the strongest minds vulnerable. Jam.
Jules frowned when her pillow flinched underneath her.
"Sam?" She questioned sleepily, her hand rubbed at her eyes as she blinked away the fog from her vision.
The whimper Jules received in reply was enough to snap the SRU officer into awareness. Sam's eyes were still closed – his pale face glistened with beads of sweat that reflected the moonlight floating in through the window. Even asleep his body showed clear signs of distress – tense muscles, tight expression, breath coming in harsh hiccups.
"Sam!" Jules repeated louder with the hope she could startle her boyfriend awake.
Blue eyes snapped open, but Jules could see that the nightmare hadn't faded from his mind. Sam's arm swung out in blind defense, catching Jules on the side of her head. Knocked to the side Jules looked up just as Sam flung himself off the bed and crashed onto the floor – sheets still tangled around his legs.
The still asleep sniper scrambled back until he pinned his body against the bedroom wall, knees hugged tightly to his chest. Sam's eyes were wide open but blind to the world around him as Jules moved closer.
"Sam, look at me." Jules kept her voice low and calm as she slipped into SRU negotiator mode – hands out in the open in the universal 'I'm not a threat to you' way as she crouched down to his level. "Hey, it's just me. You were having a nightmare."
"Jules?" Sam's breath hitched as he blinked his eyes slowly back at his girlfriend. "W-what are you doing here? You – you shouldn't be here, not here." He stammered as he ran a shaky hand over his face.
He still wasn't fully aware of the world around him, Jules realized. Her heart clenched within her chest as she stared back into his broken expression. "Sam," she whispered back to him, unsure of how to help him. "Where shouldn't I be?"
"Jules, there's so much blood." Sam looked down at his hands.
With a heartbroken gasp Jules reached out and took Sam's hand in hers. "There's no blood, Sammy. Please look at me – you're safe with me." Her voice pleaded.
Sam shook his head. "N-no. No where is safe. No where is home." His eyes fell shut as he pushed the heels of his hands over them.
Tears burned behind Jules eyes. "W-what? Sam, wake up for me."
"That's the thing, Jules. I am awake." Sam's eyes opened and locked with hers – the blue gaze was clear of any fog. "I can't do this – any of this. What was I thinking? What were we thinking?" He couldn't hold her eyes and hid behind his hands once more.
Confused Jules tried to process what Sam was telling her. "Sam, please talk to me. What are you saying? Do you not love me?"
"Of course I love you, how could you even ask me that?" Sam breathed out, offended. "I don't want to see you die, Jules." Sam whispered back to her. "I can't survive another tragedy like that in my life – I can't."
"The blood was mine?" Jules took in a sharp breath as she squeezed his hand. "From when I got shot?"
Sam nodded, eyes haunted from what he had seen.
The pair fell silent as they sat together on the floor. Time ticked by unchecked – uncaring.
"Sam, I can't promise you that I won't die." Jules finally spoke, finding her words carefully. "I can promise that I love you and living life without you wouldn't be living at all."
Silence engulfed them again as Jules' words hung in the air. Sam's eyes avoided hers.
"I've lost so much in my life." Sam told her gently. "My sister, my best friend, so many other people."
"Oh, Sam." Jules tipped her head to the side and cupped the back of his neck with her hand.
"I'm not as brave as I want to be." Sam admitted. "I can't give you up. I can't let you go."
"Then don't." Jules pleaded.
Sam leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers. "Please don't die, Jules." A sob broke from his chest as she kissed his lips. "Please don't ever die."
Hi guys, miss me? I've been working on 'relationship' fics…thought I'd give Jam a go…
"He Dreams He's Awake" Is a song by Stars…if you want to check it out.