Hey hey hey! This is the sequel to my "hit" story, The Quite Peckish Games! I'm sure EVERYBODY has been looking forward to this! Please read the original first, for two reasons.
One. Because it's the damn original, and even I have story lines!
Two. I over-use the HELL out of every running gag in the original!
So, read, review, and some third option! (I'd say 'enjoy', but I know you won't!)
The Quite Peckish Games: OH MY GOD, I'M CATCHING FIRE!
PART 1: A Hell of a Lot of Exposition!
I'm drinking tea, in the forest, for some reason. No, I have no idea why. If a pack of wild dogs were to appear at this moment, the odds would ever be in my favour. Not because of skill or anything. Because if this damn thing was popular enough to warrant a sequel, I'm sure as hell not dying now!
Time to change the subject. By Noon, everyone will be at my new house in the Winner's Neighborhood. Or as the Capitol Reporters call it for Sector 12, "The Drunk Guy's Place".
The Reporters will be there. The Camera Crews will be there, mostly because someone needs to film the movie before it stops being ridiculously popular. The Fan Girls will be there, writing fan fiction about me having sex with approximatelly everyone. Even Miffy, my old Escort, who barely got any lines, will be there. I wonder if she will be wearing the ridiculous green wig, or if she'll stop being Heath Ledger.
Hahahaha, yeah right! Then we'd have to let go of the AMAZING comedic fodder of saying 'Ledger-ette' a million times!
There will be other's waiting, too. A legion of Ledgers to cater (I learned a new word!) to my every whim. A prep team to make me all sexy-like for public appearances. My stylist and friend (for some reason never explained...), Burnna, who designed my fabulous outfit for the last Quite Peckish Games, and set me on fire for some reason, will be there. He's part of my prep team, but I categorize him seperately, because he's JUST THAT AWESOME.
If it were up to me, I'd forget the Games completely. Never narrate about them again. You'd just have to go and read the story again. It's not like there is going to be another Games of which I'm a part of, am I right? I mean, that would just be a ridiculously ridiculous way to re-hash the plot of the first book!
The Kick-Ass Tour is just another way of reminding me of that totally unforgettable life changing thing that could never be forgotten ever. They strategically placed it midway between the Games, (though I'm still going to talk about it like it happened a week ago.) it's the Capitol's way of keeping the horror of the Games fresh, and make it fun at the same time.
Not only are we forced to be reminded of that thing that happens every year, but we have to celebrate it! It's all like a kick-ass New Years Party of INEVITABLE DEATH! And this year, I'm the star of the show. THE AMAZING STAR OF THE SHOW!
I will have to travel from Sector to Sector, to stand before cheering crowds, who loathe me because... I was randomly chosen for something and won against all odds? I don't know.
I haven't been hunting, though I've been here for three hours. God, I need more hobbies.
After I leave the forest, I go to my old house. I'd tell you about my experience there, but it's amazingly long, and probably filler that even this awful story won't resort to.
When that is done, I go to Storm's House. I see his mother, Brown. Nobody asks her about her name, but Storm said, and I quote, "Not all the colours make great names."
I like Brown. She's not one of the characters that I hate without justification, like most "bad guys" in this series.
Her husband died in the same explosion my father did. Yeah, the Author couldn't figure out a more original one, SO SHE STOLE MINE. She's so awesome, she makes me look un-sympathetic in comparison!
... Don't worry, though! She's not going to be a major character, or anything!
"Hello, Brown." I greeted.
"Hello, Idiot Girl!" She replied. I'm glad I didn't here her clearly, but whatever. It surely can't be an insult!
"You know, maybe I should teach Roary how to hunt shoot some time." I said. She has four kids: ten-year old Vic, eleven-year old Roary, Posytale, the baby who's age is ambiguous, because writer's do math like I do, and Storm, the eighteen-year old love interest! Yeah, she's bad at naming kids. Those ones aren't even clever jokes, like the rest of our names!
... Said Kamuss!
"Oh, hunny, you're not someone who... Teaches..." Brown replied in a gentle voice. She's right! I shouldn't teach, I should do NOTHING! That's what I'm good at! At least that's what Heybetch told me. "Here is some tea!"
Brown gave me some tea. You know, that thing that I am never shown drinking before or after this book, but I drink all the time now! That's what we like to call proper writing, fan girls!
"Now that I'm introduced into the story," She said, "Now get the hell out of my house!"
"Alright, but why?" I asked.
"Don't you have some plot things to do?" She asked me. HOLY LEDGER, she's right! I do! The NEXT book is when I don't do anything!
How did you like it? I'm struggling to make Kamuss an idiot. It's getting hard to think of new jokes for. But I promise, she won't grow anymore as a person!
This story takes place in an in-determined amount of time after the original. Mostly because, as a Writer, I don't know math. If anyone has any ideas for characters, jokes, or situations, I'd be happy to steal them from you!
Please, review! I literally need reviews to live. And I'll give you a hug.
*NOTE: David Noklevername will not give you a hug. Mostly due to most of you living in a different country than him.*