Righto. Well, I haven't updated anything in quite a while -- school is getting to be too much for me -- but I have off today because everyone else is taking the PSAT (I love being a senior) and, after listening to the Rascal Flatts CD for about the 4th consecutive time, I realized that a couple of the songs on it, fixed to fit the newsies era and the plot, would make a great fanfic. I can't guarantee that this is a great fanfic, but, hey, I tried, right? So, there will probably be about 4 chapters, each featuring a different Rascal Flatts song, and, um, yeah. That's all. And I promise I'll finish Bells and Wishes soon. Really.
I stare at her, grinning like an idiot. "You mean it?" I ask, more to hear her repeat it than for any real need of reassurance.
She blushes and ducks her head to hide the smile that matches mine. Then she looks me right in the eye and says, "Yes, I mean it, yes, I want to be your girl. Yes."
I can't help it, I throw my head back ad laugh from pure joy. I feel like I did last weekend, when I had a little too much to drink at a party in Brooklyn. Like I could do anything, I was king of the world, nothing was going to stop me. I look back down at Sarah, who is smiling up at me, eyes shining, and I realize that I am drunk. Off of her smile, her eyes, the adoring way that she is gazing at me, and the happiness shining in her face.
"I love you, Jack," she whispers as I lean in to kiss her.
OOOOO
As I walk home that night – no, I don't walk. I run, I jump, I leap about; I can't keep still. I am elated, so happy to know that, after all of my worrying about the worst case scenario and all of my daydreams about Sarah and I, my dreams finally won out. I remember how hard it was to tell her; at first because I hadn't wanted to admit to anyone -- not even to myself -- that I had fallen this hard for someone, but once I had, it became a matter of the risk involved. What if she rejected me? I wouldn't even be able to pretend then, couldn't even lose myself in dreams of the two of us together. Despite what everyone thinks of my charm -- and I do have it, I'm not saying I don't -- I'm not as confident as I seem. Sure, I'm great at getting out of trouble, at flirting with girls I've just met, but when it matters, all my words desert me. I've never been able to tell anyone anything like I've just told Sarah, never had anything to tell, but now...now...
I want to tell the world. I look over at a park bench, envisioning myself standing on top of it and screaming out to the multitudes that I love her, and she loves me. I laugh and shake my head – I think I'm still a little bit drunk from the moonshine in her eyes – deciding that yelling from a park bench to anyone who will listen isn't enough. I want to climb the Statue of Liberty, hang a sign from the Empire State Building – even take out an ad – no, the front page – in the newspaper. "True Love," the headline would read. Maybe with a second line underneath it: "Sarah and Jack a Model for all Other Couples," followed by a story all about how wonderful Sarah is, how any guy would be lucky to have her, how she loved me. Me! A poor newsie with nothing going for him, with nothing to offer. She chose me. I say it out loud, unable to believe it otherwise: "Sarah Jacobs loves me."
Hearing it spoken only thrills me more, and I burst into the Lodging House still grinning. "Heya, Jack," Race greets me, before glancing up. When he does, I try to school my face into a less giddy expression – Race doesn't win at poker by luck alone, the boy reads people's faces like the headlines of the New York Journal – but I just can't force my smile away. Sure enough, he picks up on it immediately. "You get lucky or somethin'?"
"Well," I say slowly, pretending to deliberate, "I guess dat all depends on what you mean."
Everyone looks up at this comment, but I just grin (OK, so I was already grinning; I grin wider) and walk into the washroom. When I come back out, the boys are still looking at me expectantly, but before I can even open my mouth, Mush calls innocently from across the room, "Hey, Jack, how's Sarah?" Then he and Blink burst into smothered laughter.
I roll my eyes as the bunkroom erupts into hoots, laughter, and teasing, but I can't help the blush that creeps up my cheeks. "Yeah, how is Dave's sister?" Specs shouts over all the noise.
"Don'tcha mean 'my goil'?" I ask as casually as I can, which, admittedly, isn't very casually at all, and the noise level in the bunkroom only increases until Kloppman walks in and starts herding us into bed, muttering about "the neighbors complaining and the police are gonna come in soon, not dat dey don't enough already wit da trouble dese boys get into..."
I climb obligingly into bed, watching everyone else either do the same, give Kloppman a hard time, or, in Specs case, search frantically and blindly for his glasses, not noticing that Dutchy is now wearing two pairs, but all that I can think about is Sarah: how she looked when I asked her to be my girl, the joy in her voice when she agreed, the sweet shyness with which she had agreed to meet me the next day.
There is no way I can sit still; I jump out of bed, grabbing my shoes, and head onto the roof. I look around in the darkness. A drunk is stumbling home, presumably from a bar – he must have started early – and I idly wonder if he'll make it or just spend the night in an alley. A prostitute walks down the street, looking for business. A middle-aged woman with a kerchief wrapped around her head leans out to call in two kids who have just arrived home from work. I look at them, taking it all in, as my happiness builds inside of me. I can't hold it in any longer, so I yell it out, sharing my joy with all of them: "She loves me!"
OOOOO
Love You Out Loud
I have always been a little shy
I've always been the quiet type till now
And I never let my feelings show
I never let anybody know just how
Much I was so deep in love
But now that you're in my arms
Chorus
I'm gonna stand on a rooftop, climb up a mountaintop
Baby, scream and shout
I wanna sing it on the radio, show it on a video
Baby, leave no doubt
I want the whole world to know just what I'm all about
I love to love you out loud
You keep bringing out the free in me
What you do to my heart just makes me melt
And I don't think I can resist
But I've never been one to kiss and tell
A love this true can't be subdued
So I'm gonna let out a yell
Repeat Chorus
Baby, I want the whole world to see
Just how good your love looks on me
Repeat Chorus
Baby, I love to love you out loud
Yeah, I love to love you out loud