The Taste of Regret
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha
The tears streamed down her face beckoning him to wipe them away. No, he stood rigid and unable to comfort her. What the hell was she saying? 'We're not ever going to meet again.' His mind was reeling at 100 miles per second. Why was she weeping? He hadn't done anything. SHE was the one leaving HIM! His shock soon subsided, yet he did not find pain as he had expected, he found only anger…anger and fear. He shook with frustration as he peered coldly down at her face. His mind was screaming 'Why? Why?' but when he opened his mouth to say that, no sound at all escaped. His sharp nails pierced his palms as he clenched his fists but he couldn't feel the sensation of pain, only of the blood trickling down his fingers. 'So it's true,' He thought fiercely, 'Her telling me she loved me was a lie. It was all out of pity because I confessed my feelings. She could never care for a filthy half-breed. She's just like…the rest.' The last thought pushed him over the edge. He fumed with fury as he stared at the tear stained miko. Now he didn't look at her in confusion or fear, only anger and hate.
"Fine, Bitch!" He yelled. Kagome looked up startled. She had seen InuYasha angry before but this was different. He had a mad glow in his eyes that she'd only seen when he transformed into a full demon. For a split second she feared that he had transformed, but no, he was still that same hanyou. "I never gave a shit about you anyway! I only told you I loved you because you were so damn annoying about Kikyou! And this is how you repay my pity? You damn ungrateful wench! Go already; I'm sick of looking at your disgusting judgmental face!" InuYashas fury had taken the best of him. He never faltered and with each word he saw the effect it took upon her.
Her face was an ashy gray and her eyes were wide with horror. Her breaths were short and staggering. InuYasha almost made himself believe he did not love her…ALMOST. One lowly tear drop fell down her cheek as she examined his face for any evidence that he did not mean what he said. Her eyes lowered when she found it all to be true. She collapsed to her knees sobbing in the utmost despair.
"I HATE you InuYasha!" She managed to chock out in between sobs. InuYashas heart stopped for a moment. 'What have I done?' he asked himself as he stared at her. Never before had Kagome ever said anything so harsh and actually meant it. She had said those 4 words before, but only out of anger. In despair she only looked for comfort and love…never hate. She whispered in her hands as she sobbed, things no one should have heard…things to terrible for InuYasha to ever imagine HIS Kagome saying.
"I don't deserve love. I'm nothing. I should die and give his love his soul back. Fool shouldn't live. Oh Gods let me die…I just want to die." And upon hearing those quiet words of anguish, InuYasha fled. The colors of the forest meshed together causing the distinct figures to diminish into only a mere multi-colored background. Her words replayed in his mind. He didn't even let her explain why she was leaving. Now there sat his happy, perky, pure-hearted Kagome wishing to die….saying SHE didn't deserve love. What a foolish thought! If anyone on this earth, future or past, young or old, deserved love it was her.
InuYasha found a field of wild flowers He sat down and looked at his surrounding environment. The mid-day sun shined brightly, basking everything its light touched in its radiance, kind of like she did. Her smile made everything beautiful. She made everything radiant. InuYasha let out a groan and threw his head in his hands. He smelt blood and lifted his head, peering questioningly at the awful marks in his palms.
"Did I really do that? Did I really cut myself that deep? Keh, I didn't even feel it." He said to himself. Suddenly that annoying little conscience caught up with him. 'You really cut her that deep too. The only difference is she felt it.' InuYasha was still confused why all this hurt her so bad. He was always a jerk to her. They had confessed their love for each other a couple weeks ago and life was perfect. They didn't fight, he cut down on the name calling…a little (can't change the impossible) and she only sat him when he beat up Shippo. She was now his to hold and kiss. He could even just stare at her and not have to avert his eyes quickly when she glanced at him. Most importantly, they were both happy. She should have known he loved her. His words shouldn't have affected her this much. He was upset; he didn't even know what he was saying. Surely she could understand that. 'Speaking of which, what did I say?'
~~~~~~~~ Flashback~~~~~~~~
"I never gave a shit about you anyway! I only told you I loved you because you were so damn annoying about Kikyou! And this is how you repay my pity? You damn ungrateful wench! Go already; I'm sick of looking at your disgusting judgmental face!"
~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~
"Oh shit!" InuYasha cursed. "All of her insecurities! Everything she was afraid of: Being only a shard detector, being less then Kikyou, actually having my love. I am such an asshole!" His head was spinning. 'She loves me. I've always known she loves me. How could I do this? What will she do? What can *I* do?' All these thoughts consumed him and without him realizing it he was running back through the woods, to the Bone Eaters Well. "Kagome I swear, if you forgive me, I will never hurt you again!" He sighed as he ran. But words cut deeper then claws…and love that is shredded can be impossible to piece back together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End Chapter one~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey guys! I know it's REALLY short! But there are lots of chapters. And I also know it's kind of…ummm not happy right now, but it gets better! Don't hate me please! Also I know the grammar and a lot of the actual writing was bad, but my editor is on vacation. Forgive that! The rest will be better! Thanks for reading!!