It was early morning on a day sometime in June. I got up at five in the morning, laced my shoes and shoved my jacket on and then headed out the door. I was so frigging excited! For what? The new burger restaurant, duh!
I'd been looking forward to eating here ever since I heard about it...Which was yesterday. As the leader it's my job to test the new stuff, make sure they aren't poisoned and shit, ya' know? I liked testing restaurant the best, not only do I get to be the hero and tell everyone: "It's okay! These burgers are APPROVED!" but I also get to be the first of my time to eat at would could be the next McDonald's! Hell yeah, another McDonald's knockoff, you don't know how bad I want that.
So I turned a corner and felt all my dreams crush like a can. There was a HUGE line in front of the restrauntt that was entitled: Ace's Burger Palace.
"Well shit," I thought aloud. "I can't wait in line this long! I'll starve!" I sighed and tried to think of an idea as I placed myself behind some fat chick and her whiny kid. I gazed around the mountain of fat rolls to get a better look at the line. I couldn't even see the front door of this place, just the huge ass logo sign. I groaned and shoved my hands in my pockets.
Stupid people, pissing all over my good mood. Who needs to eat at five in the morning anyway? I do, but that's because I'm the freaking leader. Why do fat chicks and whiny kids eat this early? Were they hobos?
No, they couldn't be. Hobos don't have money, I'd know. There's this one hobo- Jeff - who lives on the corner of my street, he's always out there holding that stupid cardboard sign.
"Spare change?" He'd ask everybody. The answer was always "No" or: "Get a job hippy!", I always tossed a quarter at him when every I would see him. He'd get pissed, I don't see why. I mean, yeah it hit his eye, but it's money he needs, right? People are too needy these days...
I mean, God, who sits around waiting to get into a new burger restaurant- OH SHIT. Fat chick and whiny kid are moving, hell yeah! Progression! We moved up in line by three steps. That just pissed me off more.
That's when it hit me- I'm the leader dammit! I should be in front!
"Excuse me~!" I said proudly as I stepped around fat chick and her kid. I was going to cut in line and get in front! What an epic idea, huh? It was an epic idea until some asshole tugged my jacket and drug me back.
"What do you think you're doing?" A big dude asked me. He looked kind of like a pimp, a big fat greasy pimp. I pushed my glasses up on my nose and gave a thumb point to myself.
"I'm the leader so I'm going to the front of the line!" I replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a burger to get too." I began to slip past the dude in front of the pimp but the pimp grabbed me again and tossed me back onto the concrete.
"Look here asshole," he said, pointing at me as I lay on the sidewalk. "We all want burgers, you're just gonna have to go to the back and wait your turn." I gazed at Willy the pimp for a minute, then sighed and shoved myself up.
"Yeah, but if I'm not in front of you to test the burger first how are you gonna know it's worth the money?" I asked in my smart ass tone. This pissed Willy off, he pulled his meaty fist back and then let it forward. He punched me in the nose. I heard this huge crunching noise and let out a small yell.
"What the hell was that for?" I asked as I held my sleeve to my crooked, bloody nose. The pimp chuckled.
"What do you think, pretty boy?" Now I'm pissed. I hauled off and sent a blow to his face, this sent him back a bit and also caused the people in line to back up and form a circle around us. When Willy gained his senses back, he wrinkled his nose and gave me this weird look as he shook his head.
"You shouldn't have done that, kid..." He grabbed my hair and pulled me into his fist a couple times, when he pulled me back I sent a kick between his legs. He pasued long enough for me to grab his arm and bend it backwards, that's when I sent all the force I had in my body onto his elbow, he yelped, pulled his arm away and punched me with the other one.
We kept at this fight for a while. I don't even know how long, we were both starting to look like bloody pulps. Still, everyone around us kept watching, laughing and cheering like it was a game. What the hell? They think I'm doing this for fun?
I was just about to give up and let Willy the pimp win, that was before I heard this weird whisper. I looked around to see where it was coming from, Willy got cocky and sent an upper cut my way while I was distracted. It snapped my attention back towards him, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and sent three blows to his head. Then came the whisper again.
"Alfred!" It yelled at me. I looked around again- I'm going insane from blood loss, right? I shook my head and continued to beat the shit out of Willy. He somehow managed to turn the tables though, next thing I knew he had me in a choke hold. At least the move was living up to it's name, I could feel the air trying to push its way into my lungs.
It just couldn't get there no mater how hard it tried, I saw a couple people start to panic and pull out their phones while others began running off or turning their children away.
"Let him go!" I heard the whisper yell, as if it were closer than before. Before I could notice where it was coming from I felt the grip loosen on my neck and my vision faded out to black...
When I awoke, I looked around and saw that I was in my room. All my wounds had been tended too and I didn't have all the blood on me anymore. Who helped me? That's when someone came in and sat beside my bed.
"Hi, Alfred..." He said with a small smile. I looked at him a minute- he looked just like me...Who was- Matthew? Was that really Mattie? I hadn't seen Matt in a really long time, I thought he forgot about me or something.
Silly thought, I know, he forgets the hero? That's like going off and saying you forgot Peter Parker was Spiderman.
"Hey, Mattie." I replied and realized my voice sounded like shit. Was I that weak? Matthew's smile grew a little bigger.
"You remember me?" He asked. Was he intentionally trying to look like a dumb ass?
"Yeah, you're my brother you idiot." I replied a little harsher than intended. "Why would you think I forgot you?" He looked down a little.
"You just...Never visit me is all," He said. "I figured you'd met so many new people while being the hero and all that you'd decided I wasn't good enough for you..." I put my hand to his face, he looked up at me with such sad eyes, I gave a sad smile, then pulled back and bitch slapped him.
"Don't be stupid Mattie," I told him. "Visiting works both ways though you know...You always could have came here. I don't leave often because I'm busy being the hero and all..." He shrugged his shoulders.
"I know," He said. "I'm sorry I didn't visit before today. I'm glad I did though, that guy might have killed you before the police showed up!" I gave him a look and felt my eyes widen.
"You were the one who helped me?" I asked. Matthew nodded.
"I was on my way here..." He said. "Then I saw that huge crowd..And heard you yelling.." I gave a smile.
"Wow, Mattie.." I said. "How'd you pull it off though? That guy was huge..." Matthew nodded.
"I found a two by four laying around..So I hit him in the back with it," He spoke so calmly about this. "Then the restaurant manager came out and took the guy inside and told him he had to stay there until the police showed up. They took a picture of you as proof of what he'd done and everything and told me to take you home, so I did." I looked at him uneasily.
"But not all of that was the guys fault...The police will want a statement from me, won't they?" I asked. Matthew shook his head.
"The manager was just going to replay the security camera's tape for them, they made me give them your address and phone number just in case though." He replied. "Oh, um...The manager says you're banned from that restaurant along with the other guy too." I groaned.
"All that for nothing then?" I asked. Matthew let out one of his baby doll laughs and set the bag down beside me.
"I got it covered..." He replied smiling slightly. I peeked my head into the bag and pulled out a burger and some fries with the stupid logo on it. I smiled and looked at him.
"Dude, you're awesome!" I said. "How much were they anyway?" I asked as I scarfed the food down. Mattie just shook his head.
"I got them for free..." He said. "The manager wanted to thank me for handling the situation a little..." This was where he laughed and looked at me. "He called me a hero...But I know it wasn't true." I stopped and looked at him.
"Not true? Mattie...What you did today was amazing," I told him. "If you hadn't shown up that guy would have killed me, like you said. You're a better hero than I am Mattie...For today anyway." I smiled. "I'll pay you back..Then I'll be the hero again." He gave me a look.
"What happens when you're the hero again then? Do I go back to being nobody?" He asked. I shook my head and tossed a french fry at him.
"No stupid! You'll be my sidekick!" I said excitedly. "Everyone knows that people who help out the hero when they need it are sidekicks..." That made him happy, I could just see his whole face light up.
"Okay..." He nodded. "Sidekick it is then." I smiled and finished my food.
"Well?" Matthew asked. "How was it?" I looked at him for a minute, then faced the floor and puked. Matthew jumped up. "Oh man!" He cried.
It wasn't my fault...That burger was fucking gross.