Title: Conflicted heart
Pairing: Natasha/Loki, Natoki or whatever you want to call it
Disclamier: not mine so whatever
A/N: You could call this a sequel or a companion to my last story "Unexpected Visitor" because someone asked me to write another fic, so here it is! I warn you this is NOT so good...
thanks for reading!
Fran
Conflicted Heart
She looked at the ceiling above her and sighed. This was the third night she was unable to sleep, even though she was exhausted and her body demanded some rest, she just couldn't. She saw his face each time she closed her eyes, it wasn't like a dream, it was real, he was there smiling back at her. She hated how much one tiny situation could control her so much like now.
'Because it wasn't just a tiny small insignificant situation at all,' she heard the voice in her head 'face it Natasha, he got into you.'
She sighed in frustration, kicking the sheets aside. Yes, he was getting into her. Yes, he was everywhere she went. Yes, sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night and wished his lips were on hers again.
"I thought you were asleep" a voice wondered, she didn't bother looking up for she already knew who the man was.
"And here I thought you were back on Asgard," she told him, her eyes still fixed on the ceiling. The bed beside her sank as he lay next to her, assuming the same position she was in.
"I was," he spoke; she could feel his eyes on her for a brief second. "I thought I could pay you a visit."
"If you think you can do what you did last time you were here, then you're wrong"
"Liar. If he kisses you again you won't stop him,' the voice in her head spoke again. She wishes she could ignore it but that was the rational part of her brain speaking, it was always right and she hated it.
"So you don't want me to kiss you again?" he asked her, turning on his side, lifting his head just enough to look at her face. She knew he was teasing her, she was sure he knew just how he had made her feel.
"No…"
"Fine" he whispered, getting up from his spot on the bed and walking towards the window, just like the last time he had been there. She watched him as he looked outside, it wasn't really dark yet, the sun had set a few hours ago but the city was still very much alive.
"You have no idea why you're here again, don't you?"
He turned to face her briefly and then his eyes settled outside once more.
"I have plans…" Loki spoke softly. She watched him intensely. "But they are currently interrupted."
"You want to take over the world again?" she teased "Make them kneel? Last time didn't work so well"
"I'm working on that."
"What do you mean your plans were interrupted?" she was interested to know in his next move. If he was about to do just what she thought, take over the world again and once again destroy all Manhattan, she should at least have a warning.
"Interrupted...by someone"
She frowned, getting up from her bed and making her way towards him, eager to know what he wanted to share with her. He turned around to face her and she swallowed hard. The way he was looking at her gave her the answer she was looking for.
"Me?" she whispered a pang of guilt hit her heart as he had suddenly looked sad before her, he hadn't anticipated her reaction. "Loki…"
"Do not fret. As I said, I'm working on it" He was trying to sound convincing, but it wasn't working on her, instead he sounded somewhat sad. "I will try to figure out the way to get you out."
"I…you…was this about the kiss?" she asked.
"No" he answered flatly, but hurried to speak again "but like as I said, I'm working on it."
"Then why?" she asked him once again, coming closer to where was standing, searching for his eyes. She was so desperate to understand what was wrong with both of them, because now it wasn't just her confused, he was as well. "Since when?"
He sighed heavily, conflicted and uncomfortable by this whole situation he got himself into. There was no one else to blame but him, he knew that for sure.
"I had been watching you. All of you" He explained, each word shocked her. "Because I was sure if anyone were about to stop me that would have been all of you but then I saw you. Walking down the streets with Barton, smiling and something snapped inside of me I guess. Something I cannot quite comprehend."
She was lost at words. It had shocked her all the times he had haunted her dreams, creating fantasies inside her head, dreams of things he would to her, how his hand would caress her body. But when she opened her eyes, those dreams were gone because they were just that, dreams. Now he was here, standing before her, telling her she was the one haunting his head too.
"I don't know what to say…"
"You wanted to know. I spoke with the truth." he told her "If I could find a way to do that, to take you out I would, but my mind is conflicted…and so is my heart"
They were supposed to be enemies, she was supposed to hate him with passion, she should take this opportunity to kick his ass or lock him in the glass prison, or at least she should call for back up, but she hadn't and quite frankly she wasn't sure she wanted to either.
There were so many things she shouldn't have done, like hit him hard on the face when he had kissed her two nights ago instead of telling him to leave so he could be safe. She could have blamed him for playing tricks on her, for brainwashed her but after hearing what he had said she wasn't sure who had tricked who.
"I…I think I should go" he whispered slowly moving away from his place in front of the window but she had grabbed his arm before he could make it any far.
This was very unlike her. She wasn't the one to plead, she wasn't the one to beg for a man to love her or give her any attention. She was the woman who didn't panic or fret it a man didn't want her, she just let him go and wait for someone better. Yet she find herself craving for his attention, her lips about to beg him to stay because her heart was conflicted too, because she was feeling the same he was and she was tired of hiding and pretending and dreaming her feeling would go away afraid of being judged because she fell in love with the criminal.
Enough was enough.
"Don't leave…" she whispered, her hand moving to hold his cold hand. He stopped, his body turning towards her, his hand touching her warm cheek.
"I don't know what you are doing to me," he whispered once he was closer. "I should not be feeling anything but hate towards you, yet my heart does not let me so."
"I should hate you too," she speaks softly, enjoying the sweet caress of his hand on her cheek.
"Then do it" he pleaded "hate me so we can make this easier"
"I can't, Loki. I can't hate you"
"Why not?"
She hesitated for a second, her own heart shocked as the realization of her true feelings for him hit her.
"Because I love you."
His lips came upon hers in a chaste kiss, unlike the one they had shared previously, this one was teasing and he pulled away briefly, searching for her eyes in any indication of disapproval. He found none. So he captured her lips again and this time she wrapped her arms around her neck, forcing his body to move impossibly closer
He pulled away slowly, his arms lingered on her hips and a smile appeared on his face.
"I love you too," he spoke and she returned his words with a smile of her own. "And now, my darling, I must go."
"Don't." she begged
"You told me once if your friends ever find me here they would hurt me. Surely you do not want that to happen now, do you?"
"Of course not."
He moved away leisurely, breaking the contact with her body and she already missed it terribly.
"I will come back for you, my darling" he spoke his last words "I promise you"
"I'll be waiting."
He disappeared before she could say something else with the promise of his return. She was willing to wait days, weeks even just to feel his lips and his touch once again praying that someday they wouldn't have to hide anymore and he didn't have to run away and fear for his life.
She would be waiting.
The end.
ta daaaaaaaaa! love it, hate it? let me know pretty please.
