An important note: A Song of Ice and Fire and the HBO television series Game of Thrones are not mine and I have no affiliation of any form to either beyond reading or watching them; I praise and admire those that do own them and know that I am nowhere near capable of something of that caliber. But here is my humble character study showing my admiration.

Cersei is a character that has always fascinated me. I have never seen her as a villain, but always a mother willing to do anything for her children, even if she really shouldn't. So while this chapter doesn't show much mother-child interaction and is fairly short, it definitely explains part of her motivation in the next half.

Cersei Lannister never knew what possessed her to take Robert Baratheon to her bed when they first met. Perhaps it was how glorious he looked after the battle, or perhaps it was the wine they had both drunk. Either way, from the next morning to the day she died, Cersei would never understand her reasoning. The man was betrothed to another, had started a war that threatened to end an entire linage and way of life and thinking - for what were the Kings of Westeros without the Targaryens.

When she finally returned to Casterly Rock after the long and arduous journey that began in Kings Landing with Brandon Stark's arrival and the demands for his sister's release; she was shocked to learn that her foolishness with the Baratheon lord had born a consequence. Or rather, would result in a birth.

She did everything in her power to hide the fact from the servants and her uncle Kevan. She was grateful for her father not having remained once they arrived. Instead Tywin Lannister had travelled on to meet with the other Westerland lords, to speak with and determine the best course of action. The Targaryens had history and standing behind them, tradition, but they no longer had their dragons. While they had all seen firsthand that Robert Baratheon had strength. They had been set upon and he had helped, personally, to save them. That was how she came to be in her current predicament.

Eventually she was no longer able to hide it. That damned fool of a brother, Tyrion, was the first to learn. He'd found her retching into a potted plant just outside the kitchens - she'd been craving honeyed chicken again. He'd taken one look at her, guessed, and began to laugh. He actually began rolling on the floor in his laughter. She'd never felt a fury like she did in that moment. She'd picked the plant up - it really wasn't that heavy - and dumped its contents on him.

Oddly Tyrion kept her secret a little longer. She never understood why, perhaps to torture her, but he did. The servants learned next. She'd been visiting the kitchens for food almost constantly and she could no longer hide that she couldn't fit her dresses. Dismissing her ladies maid had only worked in the early stages, but not any longer. The growth of new life in her womb was too obvious now.

Cersei relished her pregnancy. Marvelled in her expanding belly, and every sensation that came with it. Even the aches, the inability to sleep, and the retching. She'd never thought she would enjoy having children, having to lose control of her body, but she loved it. Loved having to care for this little thing within her, this life that depended on her.

Then her uncle learned of her pregnancy and wrote her father. She received a letter almost instantly. He was furious and was on his way back.

He arrived a week before the birth. He allowed her no peace. There was not to be a bastard in the House of Lannister. Ever. He was very clear on that, and certainly not a bastard born of his daughter. But nothing more could be done, at least Cersei thought so.

The birth was painful, perhaps the only part of having children she disliked. Making the child was fun, carrying the child within her was almost a religious experience for her, but the birth was hell. In the eleven hours she was in labour, Cersei came to the conclusion, that the ultimate torture was childbirth. She vowed during the eighth hour to never have children again. By the tenth she was begging for death.

But then it was over. The maester placed her perfect little boy in her arms, and Cersei cried tears of pure joy. She'd thought carrying the child inside her was amazing, but holding him in her arms was life affirming.

He was silent, which worried her, but he was lively. Little pink arms flailing and grabbing hold of her hair, legs kicking out as they had whilst he was inside her. Blue eyes bright and wide, taking her in, and the little tuft of already think black hair was slicked close to his head. He was her baby, her angel, and Cersei vowed to let nothing ever happen to him.

Her father was an angry storm, she joked to her son after he'd finally let the new mother have peace with her son, that it was as if he were the storm lord, but Tywin was a Lannister. Here us Roar, were their words, and Tywin roared in pure fury at her daughter for her folly, but he never said a bad thing to or about his grandson, despite his anger. No, he called Cersei arrogant, stupid, vain, and any other myriad of things, but never once did he have a bad word directly for the child. About the circumstance, yes, but about the strong, healthy boy himself, no.

Her uncle Gerrion was the first to offer her kind words about everything. Telling her to not let her father run her and the child's life. Cersei had always adored her father's youngest sibling, and so she named her perfect little baby for him. Gendry.

But then Storm's End was liberated, Rhaegar killed, and the her golden twin slew the Mad King. The new lord of Winterfell was on his way to collect his sister and return her safe to the new king, when her father finally deemed her worthy to speak to again. She'd not wanted to speak with him though, not after what had happened to Elia's innocent little children. They were guilty of nothing, except perhaps blood, but blood could not be helped. They were innocent, and as a mother Cersei raged and mourned for them, refusing to let anything similar happen to her baby. Elia's children could have been controlled, used to help Robert in time quench any further rebellion and questions over rightful kingship. Wed his first daughter to Aegon, and his son to Rhaenys. Kept the children in his family, made the two into one.

But her father came, bade her hide her folly. That was the king's son after all. Bastard or not, it was dangerous to have him there. Robert's enemies would try to kill the boy, his allies could try the same. Cersei railed against him. Screamed at her father, even struck him, her nails acting as claws tearing his cheek open as she did. She would never lose her precious baby. Gendry was her life now. If she could not have her silver haired prince, then she was have her raven haired son.

Eventually her father and uncle Kevan wore her down. Perhaps it was also the letter from her golden twin, her other half, who despite not knowing about her son, begged her to listen and relent to their father's request.

Finally she did, though. She handed her baby over to her father, who swore on his very wealth and power that he would personally place Gendry in his uncle Stannis's arms.

Then Lyanna was dead and her father arranged to her to wed Robert. She'd been heart broken by her baby's lose and quietly, as they made their way to Kings Landing for the wedding, asked her father if she could have him back.

Tywin turned cold eyes on her, "You'll give him other heirs. You've proven yourself capable, and the boy is nothing more than a bastard who is best forgotten and never spoken of."

Cersei hung her head and agreed. She never spoke of Gendry again, only cried silently for him that night at an inn before she went to sleep. She also promised herself to never think of him again, it would be easier on her broken heart that way.

Part two will hopefully come shortly. I can promise it is longer, it just needs some polishing and it promises drama. Drama and emotion, actually.