This JAG story takes place after the episode The Killer (Season Eight Episode 10). In this AU, Harm has returned from Italy but Singer never up with him at Benzingers.
I do not know about the complications of a pregnant woman. Please PM me if you do know.
Somewhere in Northwest Washington DC
1600 local
"Bleagh! Bleagh!" I puked for the umpteenth time that day. Despite the several cans of air fresheners I had sprayed through the apartment, the smell of vomit was still distinct through the whole place. Thank goodness my roommate was overseas for work.
Tossing the filled plastic bag in the trash can, I stared at myself in the room mirror. Pregnancy is life's torture for all female human beings. My once well shaped figure appeared twisted. The bulge around my torso looked more like a growing mosquito bite. My breasts were now bulging past their normal size. That meant buying new bras but I never bother with that yet. What else? I was fat all in other areas all over. Super duper yucks.
Why did I commit myself to this? I mentioned out loud that I was going for an abortion! I said that to Commander Rabb when we left the Seahawk, I said that to those who bothered listen at JAG HQ, I said that to others? Who was it, yes, that bitchy Harriet Sims, the pro-life administrative head. "Having a child is a gift…I know what is like to lose a child." Bloody hell, she and that rolly polly idiotic Bud probably screwed all day and night! Of course she would say such fairy tale stuff like that! But I never listened to that whiny short hair blonde at all. Especially after her son called me a "wicked witch"? Why am I keeping this child? Why didn't I have an abortion immediately after I returned? There are local doctors who would do it safely and keeping it a secret. No anti-abortion groups in the DC and Virginia area, yet. Why am I keeping this thing that I never wanted!
Not that anyone would listen. Mom and Dad were divorced and never cared for me at all. My brother, I don't even want to call him my brother; more like a drunken retard. Other relatives did not know and won't be supportive at all anyway. Friends? What friends do I have? Everyone at JAG is a competitor or someone that was easy to knock down. Even Admiral Chegwidden, who had so kindly approved this leave for me wouldn't understand. Outside of JAG, there's no one at all. Rabb's brother Sergei? I don't even know how to contact him and have never dialled an overseas number by myself—enlisted assistants would do that for me. Who is there! I guess there just one person left...
The next day
1900 local
"Zzzz, Zzzz". I press the buzzer several times. My legs probably echo the sound of the buzzer that I pressed. They were shuffling both from the coldness of the evening and the trepidation of the moment. Would he see me? It was five seconds but seemed like fifty later when the latch opened and instead of the six foot four tall person I expected it was quite the opposite. It was a brunette girl an inch or so shorter than me, dressed in a purple sleeveless top.
"Oh!" I exclaimed then stood there momentarily. "I'm sorry, I was expecting Commander…"
"Rabb? He's away visiting his mother in California. Oh's my name is Elizabeth, I was his RIO…"
"Oh yes I remember the Commander defended you in a court martial…" And I wanted to help him with that case but he refused.
"Yes…well may I ask what you wish to see the Commander for?"
"Um...no, sorry. No trouble. Have a good day." I didn't want to disturb the close friend of Rabb's or let her know about my situation.
"Hey…um, Loren right?…wait up….Loren…" I chose the stairs instead of the lift.
"Wait up," I felt a hand on my shoulder.
Turning around, I started to protest when she said, "It's raining cats and dogs out there. Unless you have an umbrella…"
I don't but should I lie?
"What do you want?" Back to my usual haughty self.
"You could come in. Harm allowed me to use his coffee machine and there's tea..."
"Oh…." Suddenly I felt nauseous and my legs gave way. I fell but hands reached out and grab my bare arms. "Easy there," I head the brunette say. That was probably the last words I heard as I blanked out.
I was awaken by some pungent smell and had to shake my head several times, trying to shake away the smell. "Asian herbal salts," I her a voice say.
I then realised that I was lying flat down. My coat had been removed and my blouse was undone, well not all the way but just enough to expose my tight bra. My skirt felt loosened as well. The face of the short brunette came into full view.
"Hi, hope you're ok now." Her voice said.
I got up. "Yes, I think I can manage myself now." I start to move when I saw her hand touch my shoulder again.
"It's a thunderstorm out there, and you don't have an umbrella. Sorry, I looked through your bag."
"Who gave you the right? I'll be going now, thank you very much." How dare she…
"Loren," My first name again. "Stay."
"N…"
"You came here to see Harm right?"
"Ye..No.."
"Harm mentioned about you. Look, I know you're pregnant and it's not a planned…"
"Look, Elizabeth right? I made a mistake coming here. I thank you for reviving me but…"
"But you don't know what to do now right? You're torn between abortion and keeping the baby? You don't know what to do with the child?"
"I don't know what to do about anything now damnit! I've never known what to do since I was give this damnation of a…." I suddenly broke down crying, tears streaming down my face. Me, Loren Singer, crying in front of another person, a stranger?
"Loren," She gently sat me down although again I half did not want to. "We've all had our troubles and terrible times. I was a wild child growing up. My siblings were always were smarter than me in school and won more competitions than me. I was a loner in class and my neighbourhood."
"At least you had a family!" I retorted. "I never had one. My parents divorced when I barely learnt my ABCs. I didn't know who I was living with since both of them continued to fight over me. My brother was a reject and was in juvenile detention too many times to count. He's a drunkard and I still don't know where he is now. Somehow I managed to falsify my records to make me look good enough for college then law school. That reduced my bank account to zero. Then I heard about JAG and wanted to become…" I coughed and found my eyes teared up again, from the pain of recounting my life story.
"The first female head JAG?"
I stopped and stared at her. "Did Commander Rabb tell you?"
"I kinda of guessed once I heard about you."
Wow, word gets around. I changed tack. "Don't you want to excel in the Navy? You're a RIO right? Don't you want to be the first female CO or CAG?"
"I do want to progress upwards but sometimes Loren, it's our ambitions that sinks us."
"I've heard that talk before!" I snapped back again at her then suddenly felt a headache. Bloody Hell!
"Ow..." I rubbed my forehead.
"Hold on," I heard her say then saw her extract some kind of ointment and rub it on that same spot. To my surprise, it eased the pain. Shaking my head, I asked again, "Why do you bother to care for me? You don't even know me well, you don't even work with me." I got up but the headache was still there.
"Sometimes, there's always someone to look out for you. You're right; I don't know you. Still, I want you to know that I feel your anguish."
I glanced away and stared at the rest of the neatly laid out apartment of Rabb's, wondering how he managed to turn a loft into such a nice layout. "Have you ever been pregnant? Without anyone to care for you?" I raised my voice in the last few words.
"I've not but I know what it means to feel helpless and I know about unmarried pregnant girls."
"Then…." I felt a little breathless and panted. As if on cue, she reached behind my back and unclipped my bra. If it was a guy who was doing that, I would have immediately slapped the person's face.
"Many of the female pilots and RIOs had more than just one stands while on liberty at ports. Several ended their naval careers while some managed to move on."
"I've heard all the debates about abortion and keeping the unborn…"
"Loren, I guessed you have. You just need someone to run to."
"You…do…You're kind," I said. What?! I've never used that word before in my life! What the…but this girl was different from the others I've met.
"I've some left over vegetable soup from lunch, would you like bowl?"
"I…" but she moved off towards the kitchen area. I got up, steadying myself and followed her. There's something about this officer that I like but I just couldn't place it.
I saw her lighting the stove and busying herself with a cutlery so I stole a look around the apartment, Rabb's apartment I reminded myself. It didn't need much of a lawyer's investigative powers to know why this girl was at his apartment. They're in love. Especially from what I heard she did to him while he was in stage four hypothermia. I just wish I had someone like that to watch my six. Moving slowly around, I noticed Elizabeth's dress blues hung up on the wall. Her "fruit salad" caught my eye: Air Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Commendation, Meritorious Unit Commendation, National Defense Service Medal with 1 bronze service star, Afghanistan Campaign Medal, Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal NATO medal ISAF (represented by 2 bronze service stars on NATO medal for the former Yugoslavia), Kosovo Campaign Medal with 2 bronze campaign stars, Navy and Marine Corps Overseas Service Ribbon and Navy Sea Service Deployment Ribbon. Not forgetting the NFO insignia. All I have were only two of them: the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal and the National Defense Medal. No stars or service stars. I was suppose to receive the Sea Service Medal and even the War on Terrorism Service Medal, but not so, especially because of that Captain Johnson. What struck me the most were the two and a half bars donned on both shoulders. Darn it: She outranks me!
"You made Lieutenant Commander?!" My tone indicated both jealousy and a congratulatory pitch. "That's so great, ma'am!"
"No need to use military courtesy around here, Loren; we're both out of uniform. It's nothing much; just another rank."
"But look at how you've progressed and those awards..." My jealous tone was partly still there.
"They are just ornaments. Come on, the soup's ready or you'll feel weak again."
"Elizabeth..." I began, as she positioned the spoons and bowls as if this was high dining.
"Beth, or Skates as I'm more popularly known."
"Beth, if you're going to care so much about me and this child..."
"Why don't you tell me about your hobbies or interests?" She changed the subject matter.
What the?! Well, at least no more abound the thing inside me.
"I just always wanted to be the best?"
"Do you watch football, paint, ride horses?" she tore some bread and passed it to me. The vegetable soup was quite saltish for my taste but that was probably due to the side effects of my pregnancy.
"Listen to some music."
"Which genre, artiste?"
"Any," I said, slurping the soup, un-lady like. Not that I was a well brought up lady-like at all. Even ROTC didn't really change me.
"I love the rock band Toto, have you heard of them?"
"No." I lied as I've done so many times before.
"Ok, do you watch movies? Action, drama, non-fiction?"
"Any." At least the whole wheat bread tasted good. Better than the thin sliced white that I normally bought from the stores.
"There's a nice collection of my own favourites that I brought over; Harm's own doesn't really match my taste."
"I thought you and the Commander..."
"We're very good friends but he's not sure about being close like magnets. And we have different interests."
I wanted to laugh for no reason but ended up coughing part of the stewed vegetables.
"Yeah," Maybe I'm not the odd one out in socialising after all, all though I did literally screwed myself. I saw Beth smile and for once in my life, I sincerely smiled back. The soup finished, I insisted to her on washing up which actually was easier given the high tech gadgets available. Perhaps Commander Rabb wasn't just only a top notch lawyer and aviator after all.
"Why don't I let you pick a movie? I'll make some tea that will bring wondrous cures." I wanted to object as I did so many times but just walked over to her DVD collection. Most of them were in French, Italian and even Polish, but the covers stated English subtitles were available. There was once that I caught on TV before, but only half of it so I inserted the disk but stood by the player and screen.
"Loren," I felt a hand on my shoulder. With the part of me that wanted to stand not fighting, I was guided back to the sofa. I started to cross my legs but heard her advice not to do so. Barely giving a nod in return, I accepted the piping hot drink with two hands, less I suddenly drop the mug. Funnily enough, the aroma from the hot liquid in front of me seemed to be enticing. One part of me reminded me that I hated Asian herbal drinks, another part of me told me the taste was just alright.