I Don't Own Life With Derek
Casey sat beautifully in her amazing white gown with a smile as bright as the sun, and her curled hair falling perfecting on the sides of her face. She nodded gracefully at her sister's wonderful speech about how she knew her and Max were made for each other, then took a small sip of the campaign.
"Thank you, Liz." She said to her, before laying a kiss on Lizzie's cheek.
As she looked up from the long table something, or somebody, caught her eye. She watched as her step brother drug himself into the big hall, filled with family and friends of Casey and Max.
He didn't look happy to be there. He wasn't too dressed up. Just a dinner jacket thrown over a black button-up shirt, and slacks. She was happy to see he finally cut his hair, and was now looking mature. Not like before when he came off as he was trying to look like a 15 year old boy while actually in his mid 20s.
"Excuse me, please." Casey whispered before standing up, and walking over to the doorway.
"You couldn't make it to the wedding, but you could make to the after party?" She asked stubbornly. She crossed her arms and pouted out her bottom lip at him.
He was amazed that somebody to incredibly beautiful could actually be complaining. "Weddings are boring. Especially yours." Derek said, walking past her, but she followed him, pointing her finger at the back of head.
"You wouldn't know. You didn't come. I pacifically said on the invitations to make sure you go to the wedding!" Casey yelled, holding her arms out. Derek whipped around with an angry expression. "What makes you think I would want to stand there and watch you commit the rest of your life with somebody else?" He asked, and the tone his voice was in wasn't angry, it was more sad than anything.
Casey arched her eyebrows and folded her arms up. "Derek we haven't been together in years. When are you going to drop it? Why cant you just be happy for me!?" Casey yelled with tears starting to come to her eyes.
"I cant be happy for you if I'm not happy in general." Derek whispered, plopping down in a chair at an empty table. Casey neatly sat next to him and adjusted the veil laying on the back on her head. "I've dreamed of this day my whole life. Please just make this worth the wait." She whispered.
Derek sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, then painted on an overly dramatic smile. "Fine." He said, holding his eyes closed, and wishing he was anywhere but here.
"Thank you." She whispered, placing a hand on his knee then walking back over to the long table, next to her new husband.
"You look happy." Edwin said sarcastically, plopping down next to his older brother. All Derek had to do was send him a look to tell him to quit it. "Dude, Casey's happy. Isn't that what you wanted all along?" Edwin asked, cutting to the chase.
"Shes nothappy." Derek said simply, staring at her.
"Look at her, of course she is." Edwin looked confused, but he thought maybe his brother was just bitter.
"See how that smile is different from her normal smile?" Derek asked, but he didn't wait for an answer. "It looks fake, but I don't know." Derek said, looking down to the floor, but his head shot back up as he heard his step mother's voice filling the room. As she stood there, speaking into the microphone, Derek couldn't help but want her to shut up, because he knew sooner or later, he was going to say something about him being there.
He watched and listened as she babbled on for a few minutes. "Now, I have a request," She started, and Derek watched as Casey's eyebrows arched.
"I've never seen Derek or Casey even hug." Both hearts started to beat faster, and it didn't help when Edwin hit Derek on the shoulder, and whispered. "I cant believe she never found out." With a chuckle.
"Please, for me, share one dance?" Nora had her hand over her heart, and both knew they couldnt say no to her. As the guests started to clap and cheer them on, Casey started to blush, causing Derek's first real smile of the night. She sighed and started to walk to the middle of the dance floor, telling Derek this was really going to happen.
He threw a quick glace at Max and saw the anger and jealously in his eyes, which made his smile even more. As the song started to play, Casey slipped her hand into Derek's, and gently lay her other hand on his shoulder.
As he wrapped his arm around the back of her waist, he had a quick memory of how things used to be. How a simple touch like this was a normal thing, and not this weird, and uncomfortable.
"Remind me to kill her later." Casey sang into Derek's ear through her painted-on smile. "I'll beat you to it." Derek said, through his own fake smile.
Neither have ever heard this song before, in fact it wasn't really that popular, but it sure did make both of them think.
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
"Even though you didn't come to the wedding, thank you for coming to the reception." Casey whispered for the bottom of her heart. Derek just nodded his head, and tightened his grip on her waist.
And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played in loops til it's madness in my head
"I miss this." Derek let slip from his lips. He wasn't planning on saying that, but it was hard to hold it in for so long. His heart beat got ten times faster as she didnt say anything.
"Me too." She finally let out
Is it too late to remind you how we were?
Not our last days of silent screaming blur
"There was a time when we were so happy. What happened to that?" Casey asked. She wanted to shut up before she said something she shouldn't, but she just couldn't stop these old feelings from falling back into her heart.
"I shouldnt have let you go." Derek whispered, closing his eyes tight.
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should've stopped you from walking out the door
Derek made a small chuckle, and looked into her deep blue eyes. "I still have your pillow at the apartment." He joked. "Oh my God, I was looking for that forever!" Casey said, and couldn't help but laugh."It smells like that perfume I used to hate." Derek said through a small smile. "I miss it more than anything, now."
"Sometimes I pretend it never happened." Casey whispered.
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
"Why didn't you stop me when I was leaving?" Casey asked, a bit hurt. "I didn't want to hold you back." Derek confessed. "You always did things that I wasn't into, you liked things I didn't, and had different friends. I just wanted you to do the thing that you wanted to do without me there to stop you." He whispered.
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
"I just want to see you happy, Even if its not with me." He whispered as he let the tear fall from his cheek.
More than anything I want to see you girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Even after the song ended, they kept dancing, and when Max tried to cut in, they both shook their heads and held each other tighter. When people would come up to Casey and try to say goodbye, goodnight, and good luck with her marriage, she would just block them out, and lay her head on Derek's shoulder. She didn't ever want to leave his arms.
But eventually she did, and went into Max's, just like when they broke up. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wasnt. Neither of them were clear, but Neither of them regret what they once had together.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
She danced with two people on her wedding day. The one she married, and the one she wished she had married