A/N REALLY FAST!:
I don't exactly know what month it is in Season One of Shameless so I'm just going to set it as the beginning of January for the first however many chapters/episodes! Hope you enjoy this chapter/episode and don't forget to Vote/Comment and I love you my Bookworms stay happy and again I love you bye! \

Willow's P.O.V:

"Come on Willow! Time to get up." My older sister, Fiona yelled at me through my door. I nodded even though she couldn't see me. I put my remaining books in my bag and walked out of my room locking it behind me. The one thing I loved about this house was that first I got my own room and second I could lock my door so my nosey siblings couldn't get in. And it's not like they would want to anyway, with all of those hateful things in there.

"Fuck you!" I heard Lip yell at whoever was in the bathroom.

"Morning Lip." I smiled at him. Lip was older than me by three years, not that much of a difference but apparently that gave him the liberty to use my shoulder as an arm rest whenever he pleases.

"Morning Willow." He smiled back as he walked over to me and ruffled my hair. I laughed and pushed his hand out of the way. "How'd ya sleep?" He asked while walking into his room that he shared with my other older brother, by one year, Ian, and my second youngest brother Carl.

"I slept well, what about you?" I asked following him to his room. Most of the time I didn't get any sleep because I had insomnia, I didn't tell any of my siblings because I didn't want them to worry and we didn't have any money to waste on something as simple as me.

"Yeah I got a decent amount of sleep. I know Carl sure did." Lip said looking at our brothers bed that was still occupied with his sleeping form. I sighed and walking over to my younger brother.

"Hey Carl." I said softly, he moaned but still didn't get up. "Come on breakfast will be one the table soon." I said. After a couple more seconds he fluttered his eyes open. He looked disoriented for a moment but then he smiled and I smiled back.

"Hey Willow?" I heard Carl call my name as I made my way down the hall passing Fiona's room, Franks unused room, and Debbie's and Liam's room.

"Yeah?" I turned to face Carl, who was now standing in his shared bedroom doorway.

"Can you wake me up in the morning form now on? Fiona's yelling sure does get tiresome." Carl scratched the back of his blonde haired head.

"I looked at him for a couple more seconds then smiled and said that I would try. Then I made my way downstairs to help Fiona with breakfast for all the kids. When I made it to the kitchen I set my bag down by the back door and started to make the lunches for everyone.

"Shit." I heard Fiona mumble to herself.

"What?" I asked not looking up from my work on the kids lunches.

"Electric bill is late." She said. By now everyone was downstairs at the table. Fiona out down a box and everyone started to pass it around saying "electric".

"Hey Willow you got any cash?" Carl asked. "You know for the electric."

"Um...I think so let me go check." I said as I packed the last lunch. I ran upstairs to my room, unlocked my door, and went in in search of cash for the electric. When I had finally found what I was looking for I smiled ran out of my room, not forgetting to lock the door first, and ran downstairs to share my success with the rest of my family but as I rounded the landing on the stairwell I tripped over my own feet and tumbled down the rest of the stairs.

"Willow!" I heard my family yell. I looked up and saw Ian rushing over to me and then helping me up.

"You didn't get hurt did you?" Fiona asked also making her way over to me. I shook my head no and grabbed what had fell out of my pockets. Once I had everything I stood up and saw that everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I asked with a small smile on my face. When that one word left my month everyone busted out laughing and I was one of them. Soon everyone was done laughing I wiped the tears from my eyes and put my wad of cash in the box.

"Damn!" Lip exclaimed looking at the large wad I had put in the box. Everyone came over to see what Lip was looking at. When they saw the wad I had put in their eyes widened and Fiona pick it up to see how much I had.

"Where'd you get eighty dollars, Willow?" Fiona asked me after she was done counting.

"You had eighty dollars and you didn't tell any of us?" Ian asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"Well I was saving it for an important time, like this." I said looking down at my feet in embarrassment. "If you guys need more cash for like field trips and things like that, just ask I have some more cash." I said still looking at my feet.

"How much more do you have?" I heard Lip ask.

"Um...I'm not exactly sure but I know that I have some more." I said looking up at Lip and the rest of my siblings.

"Never mind how much more cash you have." Fiona said walking over to me. "I want to know where and how you got that cash." She said putting her hands on my shoulders. "I just don't want you doing something bad to get that cash."

"You mean like selling her body?" Ian laughed. In response Fiona hit him in the arm, but he continued to laugh.

"Don't worry Fiona." I smiled at her hoping to ease at lease her worry for me. "I didn't do anything bad like sell my body, I promise." I gave her another smile and walked over to my bag. I just had to make sure that I had everything I needed for today. When I was done checking I looked at the time and saw that it was already 8:20. "Shit!" I yelled.

"What?" Lip asked

"Um...I have to go I'll see you at school and the rest of you after school." I said really fast as I shoved my way to the door.

"Wait!" Fiona called after me.

"What?" I asked with my hand on the door knob.

"You did pack a lunch for yourself right?" She asked me with her hands on her hips. The reason she was asking this was because I normally didn't pack myself a lunch because I believed that my siblings all deserved a bigger lunch, so I would rather not have a lunch to give my siblings a bigger one than have a lunch and make everyone's lunch even smaller than it already is.

"Yes Fiona I packed myself a lunch." I smiled at her as I put my hat that would protect my ears form the harshness of the cold. "I have to go now bye!" I called through the house. I heard a cores of "bye"'s and I left the house, but before I left the house I heard Fiona tell Lip,

"Lip make sure she actually has a lunch and eats it."

"Yeah sure." Lip responded. I sighed and continued down the street to the school yard.

"Now I just have to avoid Lip at lunch and make sure that he doesn't see me not eating." I thought as I rubbed my hands together blowing on them trying to get them warm. "I knew that I should have told everyone that I had the cash, if I had then Fiona might have been able to get that nice dress she was eyeing last week." I thought. When I came to the side of the school I turned down an ally that led to the back of the school. I had to meet my clients at the back of the school at 8:30 sharp or I wouldn't get paid.

When I finally got to the back of the school I went over to the bench and sat down as my clients weren't here quit yet, but I knew they would be here soon. After a while I herd the crunching of snow, so I looked up and saw my clients walking over to me.

"Hello." I said standing up facing my three clients.

"Hey so this is just like last time?" One of them asked.

"Yes Mickey, just like last time. I let you beat me up and I don't even try to fight back, so long as you don't hit my face because that would lead to and my siblings would ask about it. You can't hit my legs either because that could lead to limping and they would ask about that too. Everywhere else should be fine." I said taking a couple steps to them but then stopped.

"So what's in it for us?" Iggy asked.

"You get to let your anger and frustration out on me and I get paid for it." They nodded.

"What can we use?" Jaime asked.

"What can you use?" I said and he nodded confirming his question, "You can't use anything but your fists and feet." I said.

"Enough with the chit chat." Mikey said walking over and punching me square in the gut. I hunched over and gasped for air. Iggy and Jamie looked at each other and shrugged, then Iggy came behind me and held my arms so Jamie could get some good punches in on my stomach. While Iggy help my arms back and Jamie punched my guts out, Mickey kept throwing punches in the same spot on my left went on for at least twenty minutes if not longer the only things that changed was that Mickey was punching my right arm in the same place, and Iggy and Jamie had switched places so Iggy was punching my stomach and Jamie was holding my arms back. When they were done Jamie suddenly let go of my arms and I couldn't hold myself up so I fell down into the cold snow and let out gasps of air.

"Didn't I tell you guys this would be fun? She's like a human fucking punching bag!" Mickey exclaimed to his brothers. Mickey had been my client for only about a week but that was the first time with his brothers. I had been doing that business ever since the beginning of August. I would let different people beat me up and I wouldn't say or doing anything to fight back. That's how I helped Fiona support the family. Plus I deserved this kind of treatment from others.

"Here keep the change." Iggy said as he through down a ten. I picked it up as I got to my feet and stuffed it into my pockets.

"Will I be seeing you next week?" I grunted as I fixed up all of my clothes.

"Ya but I don't like doin' this in the morning, meet us here after school at 3:00 sharp on Monday or we ain't payn'." Mickey said as he turned and walked away with his brothers.

"Okay, I'll be here." I said as I also walked away from the middle of the little ally. When I had all of my stuff I picked up my bag and started to walk to the front of the school where I would wait for Lip. When I got to the front of the school I sat down on the steps and got out my book that I had been reading. I had read about two chapters before it was suddenly taken out of my hands. I looked up and saw Lip was there holding my book reading the cover.

"Of Mice And Men? Really?" He asked as he gave my book back and sat down next to me. He lit up a cigarette, took a long drag, then handed it to me. "Hey what do you have to do in the mornings anyway?"

I blew the smoke from my lungs, coughed, then said, "I can't tell you, Lip."

"Why not, I just want to know what my little sister does in the mornings." He said ruffling my hair like he had done at the house. "Like does it involve in that cash you get? Is it just a normal job that pay's a lot? Or is it-" He didn't get to finish his sentence because I put my hand over his mouth to shut him up.

"Hey I have my secrets and you have your's." I said taking another long drag. "I also don't have to tell you everything."

"Okay well as long as your not getting hurt or selling your body, it's fine with me." Lip said as he took the cigarette from my hand and took a drag. "But I know one of these days you will come and tell me."

"Yeah sure." I said sarcastically, as I stood up and put my bag over my shoulder, "Can we go inside now it's really cold." I said as I started to walk up the stairs. I heard Lip put out the cigarette and walk up the stairs behind me.

When we were in the hallway we started to make our way to my first class of the day, Lip right behind me. We did this everyday, I would leave the house early to get beat up for money, I would meet Lip in the front of the school, we would smoke one, then he would walk me to my first class.

"So will I see you after school?" I asked as we walked.

"No I'm tutoring today. And Ian will be coming with me" Lip replied.

"Okay then I'll see you later at home." I waved as I opened the door to my first class. Lip waved back and started to walk back down the hallway and towards his class.

"Man do I feel sorry for Ian. I know that Ian will feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed, because I know that he is gay and I also know what happens when Lip tourtering sestions." I smirked at that thought as I made my way to my seat. Right as I sat down the bell rang indicating that the school day had started.

Time Skip To Later That Night

I was in my room that night reading Of Mice And Men when I heard a loud thump against my wall. On the other side of my wall was my brothers room and I didn't understand why there would be that loud of a thump on the wall because it was almost twelve in the morning. I got up out of my bed to investigate what was going on. When I got closer to the door I heard grunting and banging, so I rushed in only to see Ian and Lip fighting.

"Stuff that he might even like because I want him to like the same things I do!" Ian said while holding Lip against the wall. My guess is that Lip found out about Ian being gay and his affair with Kash.

"Stop it you two." I said trying to pull them apart.

"Did you know about this?" Lip grabbed my shoulders as he turned his attention to me.

"What?" I asked a little startled.

"Did you know about Ian being gay and fucking his boss?" He asked me shaking my shoulders this time and looking right into my eyes.

"I-I-I um..." I couldn't get the words I wanted so desperately to come out.

"Did you know!" Lip yelled at me. But before I could say anything Ian yelled at Lip,

"Stop yelling at Willow! You know she can't think straight when people are yelling at her!"

"So she did know?" Lip asked letting go of me and turning to Ian, taking all of his attention off me.

Ian didn't answer his question and just looked down giving Lip his answer. "I can't believe you would tell her first and not me. I mean aren't I more important?" That statement shocked me the most, what I couldn't believe what Lip just eyes started to water and I looked down because I don't like it when people see me cry. Not another word was said. Soon the water in my eyes broke free and ran down my face and without meaning to I sniffled, catching the attention of my brothers.

"Shit. Willow I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Lip started but I didn't let him finish.

"No no no. Your right Lip." I looked up at my two older brothers not bothering to wipe away the tears. I smiled at both of them and said, "You are completely right, you are more important than me and I don't know why he even told me." Then I just looked Lip in the eyes for a moment and I felt a fresh wave of tears coming so I said, "Hey um...it's late and I'm tired so I'm gonna go to bed." I walked out of the room and down the hallway to my room, when I was outside of my room and my hand was on the door knob I turned back to my brothers room and saw that they hadn't moved an inch. Before I went in my room I looked back and said, "Goodnight. Love you." With that I went in my room and closed the door.

I walked over to my bed and sat down slowly. I looked down at my lap and put my head in my hands. Tears started to fall down my face slowly but then the tears became more and more frequent until I was sobbing into my hands. I was trying to be as quiet as possible because I didn't want to wake anyone up. When I had calmed down a little bit I went over to my closet and got out a box that I thought I wouldn't have to get out. I walked back over to my bed and carefully opened the little black box. Inside laid my once best friends. My collections os pencil sharpener blades. I slowly rolled up my sleeve and picked up one of the many blades I had in my little black box. I put the small but powerful blade against the skin of my left wrist and pulled it slowly across. At first nothing happened but then little beads of blood started to appear on my skin, then more blood flowed out of my body and onto my pant legs. While I was slicing my skin I was also crying because I knew that what Lip had said was true. I knew that Ian should have told him before me and that he is so much more important to Ian than I will ever be. I knew all of this.

After about twenty minutes I looked down at my wrist and saw almost twenty more cuts to add to the collection. By then I had stopped crying as much. I stared at my wrist for a long time before I got up from my bed and went back to my closet. I had a hiding place for my little black box and for some medical supplies. I carefully put the box in the hiding place and got out the gauze and rubbing alcohol. I went over to my trash can and poured the rubbing alcohol on my wrist. At first it stung a little but then I didn't feel anything, like usual. This wasn't my first time self harming and I knew it wasn't going to be my last. I put the bottle of rubbing alcohol down on my nightstand and started to wrap the gauze around my wrist. When I was done I ripped the gauze and made sure that it would stay in place then I pulled my sleeve back down.

I looked at my wrist for a couple more moments and felt a stinging in my eyes but I shook my head and walked back over to the hiding place in my closet. I put the gauze and rubbing alcohol in the hiding hole with my little black box, then I went back over to my bead and laid down. I knew I wouldn't sleep but there was nothing else to do, so for hours on end I just laid in bed and started at my ceiling.

Time Skip To Early The Next Morning

When I heard someone out in the hall I got up form my bed and opened my door. I saw that the one in the hallway was none other than my only little sister, Debbie. She was walking from the bathroom to her room.

"Hey Debbie?" I called after her. Debbie whipped around and I could see her give a sigh of relief when she saw that it was me. "What are you doing awake?" I glanced at my clock in my room, "It's not even six yet and we don't have any school."

As she walked over to me she started saying, "I know we don't have school but Liam woke me up at five and he just now went back to sleep. I just got up to use the bathroom then I was going to go back to bed." By then she was right in front of me. Debbie looked up at me and gave me a confused face. "Have you been crying?" She asked.

"What? No. I just didn't get a lot of sleep, thats all." I said as I smiled down at her. I knew that everyone would be up in about three to four hours and I didn't think I was quite ready to see Lip or Ian so a thought dawned on me.

"Hey Debbie?" I asked, she 'humed' in repose. "When everyone wakes up and if anyone asks where I am, can you please tell them that I'm in the van outside?"

"Why are you going into the van, won't you like freeze to death?" Debbie asked.

"Well I just don't think I will want to be around people when everyone wakes up." I said. Debbie shrugged and walked back to her room.

When I heard her door click shut I walked back into my room. I collected my big warm comforter, my pillow, and a couple books to read while I "camp out" in the van. The last thing I grabbed on my way out my door was my room key. When I got out into the hallway I closed my door and locked it, then as quietly as possible I made my way down the stairs. I put all of my things on the kitchen floor while I put on my jackets so I wouldn't freeze to death while I was in the van. Once I had everything on I gathered everything and opened the door. I rushed outside and closed the door quickly so I didn't let any of the cold air get into the house. It was still pitch black outside but I did manage to not fall down the stairs and get into the van safely. When I was in the van I spread my comforter on the mattress I had put in there the summer before. I put down my pillow and laid down. I was surprised because I actually felt tired, for once. I hadn't felt that tired in little over a three weeks. I was out like a light when my head landed on my pillow and I hoped that no one would come to wake me up, at least for a couple hours.

I woke up when I heard the van door slam shut. I looked at the drivers side of the van and saw the top of Ian's unmistakeable flaming red hair. I wondered when he had gotten in the van. I also wondered why I hadn't woken up. I looked over to the passenger side of the van and saw Lip, he must had been the one that slammed the van door shut.

"Dude, don't be so loud Willow's asleep in the back and I can't remember the last time she said or looked like she had a good night's sleep." Ian said. I hadn't moved from my position I was sleeping in so I just closed my eyes again.

"Oh, I didn't know she was in here." The unmistakeable voice of Lip Gallager said. I felt wried because it was like I could feel their eyes on me the whole time.

"Yep. Debbie said that Willow was crying last night." Ian said.

"Damn it! I didn't mean to make her cry. I really didn't. I just wasn't thinking." Lip exclaimed.

"I know that, but it's not me you should be telling me this you should tell that to Willow when she wakes up."

"I will, but for now how can that be good for you? Or-or how can that be good for you?" Lip asked, it sounded like he was flipping pages of something.

"Ya-ya-ya you know whats not funny?" Ian asked.

"Huh?"

"You." Ian said, "Ever." They didn't talk for a while but it sounded and smelt like they were smoking a cigaret. Then Lip asked,

"Anybody before Kash?"

"One." Ian replied. I had already known that there was someone before Kash but I didn't like him that much.

"Yeah? Who?" Lip asked sounding intrigued.

"I'm not telling you alright." Ian said sounding a little bit annoyed.

Lip sighed then said, "Okay name a single time I've let you down."

There was a short pause, then I heard Ian sigh, "This kid at school."

"Yeah?"

"Alright I guess it doesn't really matter because he's long gone now anyways, but uh...Rodger Spikey." Ian sighed again.

"Rodger Spikey?" There was a short pause but then I heard Lip laugh and say, "Donkey Dick Spikey? The original beef mister? Did you start that rumor?"

"Not a rumor." Ian laughed.

"Oh that's a bit gay." Lip said sounding very serious for a moment, "What you just did there with your eyebrows, you wanna watch that."

"Alright fuck off." I heard Ian laugh.

"But serious like," Lip started, then his voice almost went into a whisper, "like up the ass? Do you get used to that?" He paused then went on, "Can someone get used to that? I mean the whole point of the digestive system is one way traffic." He took a drag then said, "It just is." There was another short pause, then all of the sudden Ian started laughing.

"What?" Lip asked trying to get in on whatever Ian was laughing at.

"Just is. Like we're only given out lungs a frickin' smoke. Right?" And with that Lip started to laugh along with Ian. I just couldn't hold it in any longer and I started to laugh along with my older brothers. It sounded like I had scared them because I heard them jump.

"How long have you been awake?" Lip asked me.

"Since you got in the car." I said climbing into the front seat with and on Ian's lap. "Here." I said reaching for the cancer stick. No one spoke as I took my long drag and blew it out handing it back to Lip.

"So..um...How'd ya sleep." Ian asked.

"Really well actually." I nodded my head. After a few more seconds of awkward silence Ian "coughed". I looked down into my lap and started to play with my hands. Then I was picked up and moved from Ian lap into Lips lap.

"Hey." He said looking down at me, but I didn't look up from my hands.

"Hello." I said.

"Would you look at me?" Lip asked, "Please."

"Well since you asked so nicely." I smiled as I looked up at him. Lip smiled as well but then it turned into a frown.

"I'm sorry, Willow. I didn't mean any of it." He started. "I didn't mean to yell at you or make you cry. I was an asshole wasn't I?"

"Yep you were." Ian said not looking up form his magazine he was flipping through.

"Shut it homo, I'm talking to Willow not you." Lip said in a playful manner. Lip turned back to me and asked, "What do I have to do in order for you to forgive me?"

"Lip," I started but stopped for a second because I didn't know what to say. After a few moments I said, "Lip you don't have to do anything, as long as you and Ian are okay with each other than I'm okay too." I looked over at Ian the back to Lip and smiled.

Lip then hugged me and mumbled, "What did I ever do to deserve you?" I hugged Lip tighter and mumbled back,

"Well someone needed to be here to help fix all your fuck ups." Lip laughed and we let go of each other.

"Ya know, you Miss Willow are the best little sister anyone could ever hope for." Ian said. Lip and I looked at Ian for a long second before his eyes widened and he quickly said, "Don't ever tell Debbie I said that." I laughed at him and soon both my older brothers joined in on the laughing.

Lip lit up another death stick, after he took a drag he handed it to me in which I also took a drag the handed it to Ian. So we all sat in the front of the van with Ian in the drivers seat, Lip in the passenger seat, and me on Lip's lap. We sat talking about everything and nothing at the same time while doing our lungs a favor. It was the best time I had had in a while with my older brothers, but I knew this kind of happiness wouldn't last long at all. I could feel something was going to hit the Gallagher family hard but I didn't know what it was.