DISCLAIMER: It's Paramount's galaxy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: C/?. Chakotay gains much needed insight from a mysterious woman during a vision quest after the events of the episode "Basics, Part II."
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INSIGHT
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Chakotay sighed heavily. Seeing Seska dead on the biobed had rattled him. No longer the Bajoran who had supposedly grown up in internment camps, joined his Maquis cell and seduced him. Her Cardassian features were now on full display, although he could still see the Seska he had known and cared for underneath. Sure, she was a Cardassian spy who had formed a secret alliance with the Kazon and betrayed them, nearly killing them all, and truth be told, he was almost thankful the long reminder of his past mistakes was now over. And yet… he knew it hadn't all been a lie. She had saved his life on several occasions. She had…
Chakotay shook his head and turned back towards the door to his quarters, punching in the locking code. He was in no mood to be disturbed. It was complicated, and he had to sort through his feelings on his own before having to sort through it with others. Not by his well-meaning friends, and certainly not by the Captain. He grunted in frustration. Kathryn was another puzzle and another sore spot. Seska had hurt him, more than he let on, and he had finally thought he was over it and opened up to Kathryn on that planet just a few short months ago. Laid bare his tentative feelings for her despite the command structure and their tendency to butt heads. Hell, they were marooned together on an uninhabited planet, presumably for the rest of their lives. She, however, hadn't really budged. Perhaps she had sensed the dynamic wasn't quite right between them, or at least that was what Chakotay was beginning to believe himself. Essentially not compatible for a romantic relationship, and so they would stick with what they had developed during the past two years in the Delta Quadrant.
He couldn't help thinking, however, if there was anyone out there for him?
Chakotay frowned. He needed to escape for a time. Clear his mind. Some rounds against the Nausicaan in his boxing routine on the holodeck with Boothby as counsel would be ideal, but he didn't want to inadvertently bump into anyone on the way there. Not tonight. Another type of diversion then. He stepped over and picked up his medicine bundle that was on the stand by his bed and then moved to the center of the room. He sat down on the floor and untied the leather strap that held the bundle together, carefully unfolding it to lay flat. Inside were three items. A blackbird's wing he had found as a child with his mother on Dorvan, a chah-mooz-ee river stone his father had given to him, and an akoonah. He first picked up the wing and closed his eyes as he held it, centering himself. His mother had never liked vision quests. She thought it opened one up to demonic influence and insisted Chakotay be careful and cognizant of the dangers the few times he did it as a child. He respected his mother's faith, so each time since, he remembered her warnings and strived to heed them. He then placed the wing carefully on the left side of the open animal skin. Next, he picked up the stone. All his father's teachings, resented in life as a young man, and only appreciated in recent years after his father's death. Is that all too common in today's age, or is it simply a constant for parents and children throughout time? He traced the pattern on it with his fingers before placing the stone down on the other side of the skin. He adjusted the akoonah slightly, and then put his hand atop the mechanism. "A-koo-chee-moya," he began and again closed his eyes. "I am far from the sacred places of my grandfathers. I am far from the bones of my people. I ask my spirit guide to help me on this day. To give me peace. To give me clarity."
He opened his eyes and found himself at the edge of a clearing in a thick forest. The sun was high overhead, framed in a near circular gap in the canopy. Not the sun of Earth, for it cast no discernable heat, but illuminated the forest about nonetheless. On either side were large logs, arranged as if to provide a place to sit for a small gathering, so Chakotay moved over and sat down facing the center of the clearing. As if on cue someone approached from the opposite side. A young woman who appeared to be in her own thoughts, but noticed him with a start as she neared the clearing. She hesitated for a moment, but then stepped forward to stand in front of the log opposite Chakotay. She remained on the edge of sun and shadow. "You're new here," she stated.
Chakotay nodded. "I just arrived," he offered.
"It can be disorienting at first." She looked to the side at something behind Chakotay. "Is that dog with you?" she asked. There was a touch of uncertainty in her voice.
Chakotay guessed at who she was speaking of, but glanced over his shoulder to look for himself. He was surprised his animal guide had let herself be seen with someone else present. His mother referred to the animal as his guardian angel, and he had learned to trust her over the years. Protect him against the wickedness and snares of the demons, as his mother would say, although it was just as relevant outside of a vision quest as within. The animal moved forward a bit and settled in near Chakotay's feet. She seemed relaxed and comfortable, which was always a good thing. Chakotay looked back at the woman. "Yes," he replied. "A friend, although technically a coyote and not a dog."
The woman nodded slowly and sat. "Usually it takes time for newcomers to be able to manipulate and add to the environment here," she commented. "I imagine she must have been very special to you."
"She is," Chakotay replied, changing the sentiment to the present tense and wondering what the woman meant.
"You are human," the woman continued. He liked how decisive she was in her speech. Her voice was strong yet pleasant.
"Yes I am."
"There are not many of us here."
This was a different and interesting vision. He looked about again. Oftentimes his visions took him to locations he had been, familiar and comfortable places, but he didn't recognize this forest. The lack of insect and animal sounds, the sunlight slightly off. There was something artificial about it. And there was the woman too. He would only occasionally meet people during a vision quest, but invariably they were people he once knew, those who had passed, but he didn't recognize this woman at all. She was young, perhaps thirty, with blonde hair that cascaded down to her shoulders. The light that did filter through the canopy cast shadows that made it difficult to see her clearly, and he realized with interest that he very much desired to. Why had his animal guide brought him here?
Suddenly a large bird swooped out of the forest and landed on the log on which the young woman sat. She shifted slightly at the bird's appearance, but didn't appear frightened. Interesting. A black bird, with wings larger than the blackbird's wing in his bundle, but perhaps it was a sign. "Another friend of yours?" the woman asked with an arched eyebrow.
"I don't think so," Chakotay replied. The bird eyed Chakotay carefully. "A raven," he added.
"Perhaps a friend of your coyote then," the woman suggested, now smiling. At that, the raven cawed and hopped along the log, almost as if he were talking, but then settled back down.
Chakotay smiled too. That must be it. Perhaps this raven was the woman's animal guide? Was it possible she was on a vision quest herself? Perhaps a conversation with this woman would provide the insight he needed.
"I've come to believe that diversity is the most important thing," the woman suddenly said. "In here, there are many voices, but not like in the other place."
His guess was apparently correct, and she had initiated the discussion. "I am currently part of a very diverse group," Chakotay replied. "We are from many different worlds and backgrounds."
"Was a part of anyway," the woman replied cryptically and then shook her head. "But not that kind of diversity," she corrected. "Outward appearances are superficial and irrelevant. Rather, a diversity of thought. It is a terrible thing when all are drones and speak with one mind and there is no diversity of thought."
Chakotay considered this. It was true that totalitarian systems of the past on Earth would first squash diversity of thought. Fascism, communism, authoritarian socialism. The underlying impetus was different, but the means were the same. Control the population by taking over education and media to promulgate their ideology and vilify opposing views. Both become a propaganda tool, and eventually, debate was no longer necessary if ad hominin attacks and misinformation were successful in forming and swaying the resulting mob. "I understand," Chakotay said. "But of course there are alternatives."
"Not for us," the woman replied with a frown. "At least in the real world, where it matters."
Chakotay was about to respond, but then something occurred to him. His relationship with Kathryn. The fact that they continued to be at odds with each other on various matters, saw things differently, was an asset. A diversity of thought in their command enabled them to work well together as a team, and even develop a strong friendship despite their differences. A romantic relationship was unnecessary, perhaps even undesirable if it reduced that diversity. It was perhaps best that there would be certain boundaries they would never cross.
The woman remained quiet and Chakotay wondered if she was cognizant of his sudden insight. Perhaps she was a projection of his own inner thoughts. Ideas he needed to hear presented by an ideal he yearned for. "What are you thinking?" Chakotay prompted, wondering what other insights she might illicit.
The woman shrugged. "I wonder," she said softly. "If we do some day escape, into that universe of alternatives you suggest, would we be accepted? Or would our past haunt us?" She lowered her head and closed her eyes. "The horrors we have witnessed. The atrocities we have…" Her voice trailed off.
What exactly was she referring to? If it were Chakotay speaking, it would make some sense. If and when Voyager returned from the Delta Quadrant, how would the Maquis onboard be welcomed by Star Fleet? But perhaps that was the point. Hers must be a similar situation, or simply a reflection of his own. And then he remembered something his mother had taught him. "Reconciliation is always possible," he replied.
The woman looked up.
"Reconciliation and forgiveness," Chakotay continued. It was foundational to his mother's faith.
The woman sighed. "I hope that is true."
Chakotay had a sudden desire to convince this woman that of course it was true. To comfort her distress. To get to know her more deeply. There seemed to be a more equal dynamic between the two of them that was missing in his previous relationships. An easy back and forth. She couldn't simply be a reflection of his own thoughts. In just their brief interchange, he sensed something more. A tangible link. His animal guide stirred and looked up at him. Chakotay smiled and then gestured to the forest. "Would you like to go for a walk?"
The woman smiled back, but then shook her head. "I'm afraid there's little time."
It was true. Vision quests using the akoonah typically lasted only a few minutes. "I want to get to know you. Talk to you more. Please, tell me about yourself."
The woman seemed melancholy. "There's not much to tell," she answered. "Most of my memories are from here." The two of them locked eyes, and Chakotay doubted the veracity of her statement. Her clear blue eyes held secrets and wonders of a lifetime. "Your life will be different now," she suddenly said, breaking the spell. She looked about the clearing much as Chakotay had done earlier. "My time here is now short. I can sense it. I don't believe we will meet again anytime soon, since I'm not normally in the forest during this interval."
"I hope we do meet again," Chakotay replied.
With that, the raven cawed loudly and hopped into the air, flying off into the trees. Chakotay watched it go and then noticed his animal guide had slipped silently away as well. When he returned his attention to the clearing, the woman was also gone and the entire scene darkened. His vision quest was ending. He opened his eyes and he was back in his quarters, the akoonah powered down and was silent.
Chakotay sat still for a while longer. Both thankful and sad. It had been all too short. He concentrated on his last thoughts. Forgiveness. It not only pertained to seeking the forgiveness of others, but in forgiving yourself. Not only reconciling your actions and indiscretions with the Great Spirit, but achieving an internal reconciliation and peace. It would take time, but Chakotay now knew it was achievable. The clarity he gained from the vision quest, from the young woman, was a start.
He gathered the items back up in his medicine bundle and retied the strap. He wondered idly when and if he would meet someone like the ideal presented to him in his vision. His ideal companion. If only….
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THE END
Author's note: I imagine if you've read any of my other Voyager stories, it's obvious who the mysterious woman is. This is my second "behind the scenes" story for an episode you wouldn't think could have a C/7 vignette... but you were wrong! I can't believe I never saw the connection before of the blackbird wing in Chakotay's medicine bundle and "The Raven".
So, according to an analysis of the 253 stories listed in scifiromance's wonderful C/7 community "The Commander and the Borg" the frequency of C/7 stories is dropping off from its ~2013 peak.
2001 – 4 (Star Trek Voyager last season ends 23 May 2001, first fanfic 5 May 2001) (2 still not complete)
2002 – 14 (2 still not complete)
2003 – 10 (1 still not complete)
2004 – 3
2005 – 1
2006 – 1
2007 – 1
2008 – 3
2009 – 6
2010 – 18 ("The Commander and The Borg" Community formed 14 Dec 2010) (4 still not complete)
2011 – 35 (6 still not complete)
2012 – 29 (8 still not complete)
2013 – 35 (3 still not complete)
2014 – 28 (4 still not complete)
2015 – 18 (3 still not complete)
2016 – 19 (1 still not complete)
2017 – 15 (5 still not complete)
2018 – 12
2019 – 1 (not complete) (still ~7 months left)
The drop off in frequency includes me (both reading/reviewing and writing). Not sure when my next C/7 story will be, but in the meantime, thanks to all who read, review, favorite and follow and thanks to the other C/7 writers on the site.
The 50 C/7 writers are (in order of first published story) – Raven12 (9), SpacedOutAnna (1), Ananke (4), Teya (8), Layla-V (3), Monomania (1), Djinn1 (1), Meddie (1), angeldream (1), Brenda Scafter-Shiring (3), DianeB (3), Gimpy1 (1), Listern (1), CaptainTmir (1), Christy Tortland (1), protejerinnocencia (2), sehrezad (1), Anniexus (13), Pettie (1), Larua Schiller (10), hellfrz (2), scifiromance (78!), DesinChild (2), lisac1965 (5), TheFoundersDaughter (2), tiamat100 (1), Sweetdeath04 (3), Mtwapa (3), Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay (4), psychichusky (1), MahoganEffie (6), Teal06 (1), battlevalcyrie (4), XXDragons-ShadowXX (2), Khrom (1), Data01 (1), MissSarahG1 (2), NikkiB1973 (8), serenmawr (1), witah (1), The Cheshire Cheese (15), seraphim2db (1), cojack (31), Alaster Boneman (1), KristaPetal (1), Keflavik319 (1), Soquilii (1), The Lady Mage (5), christinasesok (1), and Rule 23 (2)