"Growing Up" - Written for InuKag 2016 week on Tumblr
*Takes place during the Three-year Separation
"And then he'll take me to the top of Tokyo Tower" the teenage girl crooned, her black pigtails brushing her shoulders as they rose and fell with a sigh, "and he'll get down on one knee like they do in the movies, and present me with the biggest diamond ring you've ever seen! And I'll gasp and start crying, and everyone around us will clap and cheer."
"And then you'll speed away in his fancy convertible, right?" One of the other girls laughed, waving an octopus-shaped hot dog around with her chopsticks as her perfectly curled brown hair bounced with the move. "Personally, I like the restaurant proposals, where the guy hides the ring on the desert tray or something."
"No no no!" A third girl chimed in, brushing her silky black hair over her shoulder, "Those always end up with the girl nearly eating her engagement ring! The best place" and her finger lifted in the air authoritatively, the other girls sitting at the desks around her listening intently, "is a field of flowers. Either after a nice picnic, or after reading some poetry, or maybe… after making love." At her wiggling eyebrows, the teenage girls around her erupted into giggles; all except one dark haired girl who listened in amusement but was preoccupied with her lunch.
Noticing her distraction, the girl in pig-tails spoke up "What about you, Higurashi? What's your dream proposal?"
Kagome looked up from her omelet, and gave the girl a somewhat disinterested smile. "Oh, you know" she started, "it really depends on the guy. I mean… as long as he says it, that's what counts, right?"
"Oh come on Higurashi" the brown-haired girl chimed in, "it's not like we're making predictions! It's just for fun! Every girl has a dream proposal."
"Yeah! I mean, I know you were sick a lot, back in junior high" added the girl with long black hair, "didn't you ever, you know, dream about finding love and getting married in case… something happened?"
Kagome grimaced at the teenager's tactless remark, not for the first time feeling much older than her age group and terribly out of place. She was saved from having to comment by Eri, who spoke up beside her "How can you talk like that?! Kagome's been through a lot, and I don't think she should have to share something so personal!" Sending Eri a warm smile, Kagome turned back to her other classmates, who were looking slightly abashed and more the slightly judgmental. If only Ayumi hadn't had choir practice, and Yuka hadn't been home with a cold, she wouldn't have bothered to expand her social group. As it was, she'd felt obligated to mingle with the other class members, and now she was starting to regret it. "It's okay, really. I guess I'm just not… the romantic type."
Two of her classmates, whose names she couldn't remember, gave each other looks as if to say 'what a weirdo' and Kagome couldn't help but smile and think 'you have no idea'. The black-haired girl in the group was one she'd known from junior high, and she lacked the subtlety with which the other girls were treating their lunch guest. "Really Higurashi? You? Everyone knows you were dating Hojo-kun back in middle school. He was bringing you gifts every day and always asking about you and stopping by your house! It was common knowledge you two were going steady."
"But they weren't!" Eri said emphatically, her cheeks pink with embarrassment because at least some of that gossip had stemmed from her and her other friends' meddling, "Hojo just had a crush on Kagome, that's all. Besides, Kagome already had a boyf-" She cut herself off abruptly, darting nervous eyes at her friend over her near slip-of-the-tongue.
The gossipy girls caught on quickly though, and the 'field of flowers' girl squealed out "Oooh, Higurashi, were you dating two guys at once?" The other girls gasped and giggled, beside themselves with amusement at their classmate's supposed scandal. The pig-tailed girl added "I never would have pegged you as the 'boy-crazy' type, but they always say it's the quiet ones that'll surprise you!"
"You guys, it's not like that!" Eri cut in, her tone distressed as she glanced at her alarmingly unresponsive friend. "C'mon, can we just let it go?"
"Thanks Eri, but it's alright" Kagome said firmly, her fake smiling falling more and more but still determinately in place. "It's not like they could understand. I'm just… gonna go finish my lunch on the roof, if you don't mind." And with that she stood, smoothing out her navy blue patterned skirt and grabbing her blazer from the back of her chair, completely forgetting her lunch in the process. Her classmates watched her go with varying critical looks, before turning back and rounding on Eri.
"Alright, spill! What's Higurashi's deal?" The girl with pigtails asked. Eri bristled at the comment, snapping back "what's that supposed to mean?"
"You know" their junior high classmate started, "why's she so uptight nowadays? She used to miss class so much for her illnesses, but now she's in class every day and nothing's wrong with her, other than the fact that she acts like an old lady."
Slamming her chopsticks onto the desk, Eri quickly bundled up her lunch box, putting together Kagome's forgotten box as well and pushing her chair back with a loud scrape. Rising to her feet, she picked up the stacked boxes and glared down at teenage girls wearing matching looks of discomfort. "For your information, Kagome is the coolest, bravest, kindest person I know, and I'd say she's got a better head on her shoulders than the three of you put together." Before the girls could do more than sputter indignantly, Eri was storming off toward the door to join her friend on the roof, but just before leaving the room she paused, then turned back and shouted "And you're lucky her boyfriend's not around, because if he heard you say that, he'd send you home crying like the little babies you are."
She just barely heard one girl ask incredulously "Is she talking about Hojo?" before speeding off down the hall. It didn't take her long to reach the roof, and she found Kagome leaning against the wall, staring out over the city and looking more melancholy than she had in weeks. "Hey" she said in as casual a tone as she could, holding up their lunches as Kagome turned to her with heavy eyes, "I thought you might still be hungry – you forgot this."
Something ghosted over Kagome's expression, and Eri worried for a moment that she'd said something wrong, but then her friend smiled and sat against the wall, patting the space next to her and saying "Thanks Eri!"
The girls sat in silence for a while, finishing off their food, when Kagome finally spoke up in thoughtful tones "You know, I used to talk like that too."
Turning confused eyes at her friend, Eri swallowed her mouthful of rice before asking "What do you mean?"
Kagome smiled ruefully, staring up at the sky, and said with some humor "I mean I used to have dreams like that: about romantic proposals, and candle-light dinners and all. We used to talk about those kinds of things, remember?"
Eri swallowed again, but this time it was only nerves. It wasn't like she tried to walk on egg-shells around Kagome, but… what kind of friend would she be to purposefully bring up painful subjects? "We all grow up… there are more important things in life than talking about boys."
Kagome shook her head, smiling as she said wistfully "But it's normal for girls our age, right? There's nothing wrong with those dreams… even if they are stupid and unrealistic." She snorted out a small laugh, saying in a lighter tone "Sorry, I shouldn't be so cynical… I guess I kinda grew up too fast, huh?"
"Nah, you keep the rest of us grounded" Eri answered with her own laugh, though deep down she couldn't help but agree. She knew enough about her friend's circumstances to understand why; even she had felt a little more jaded after that experience over a year ago, when she and Yuka and Ayumi had heard the voice of Kagome's biracial bad-boy boyfriend echoing up out of the dirt in the old well-house. Eri was glad to be entrusted with the truth, but things had never been the same since. They'd all grown up a little after that day.
"I remember" Kagome started, lacing her fingers around her raised knees and leaning back to look at the clouds, "one day in particular: it was the first day Hojo brought me a gift for my 'ailments'." Eri giggled beside her, and Kagome smiled widely. "You were all grilling me about him in class, asking why I was so hesitant about him, and asking if I already liked someone else. You asked me what my dream-guy was like. Do you remember what I said?" She turned mirthful eyes on Eri, who merely shook her head, anxiously awaiting the answer, and Kagome laughed before continuing "I said the perfect guy was someone who would be calm and keep his temper, who would bring me flowers and poetry, and always be sensitive and understanding." She shook her head at her old self, a reminiscing look in her eyes as she followed with "Basically, I was determined that the man of my dreams would be everything Inuyasha wasn't… or at least… everything I thought he wasn't."
Her gaze became distant, and Eri placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. Kagome looked at her gratefully, and with another smile continued "So you see, I just can't make dreams like that anymore, because you never know how life is gonna turn out. The details are so insignificant. Inuyasha wouldn't see the point in giving someone a dying plant, and poetry coming from him would just sound weird. Honestly, I don't even care about getting a ring anymore: Inuyasha could hand me a worm in the middle of a blood-soaked battlefield and ask me to be his wife, and I'd marry him on the spot."
Eri laughed and pulled a face, saying with mock disgust "If that's not love, I don't know what is!" as Kagome laughed along with her. After a moment they quieted down, both still wearing amused smiles, when Eri ventured to say softly "Kagome… I hope you see him again. I bet the guys in this place stack up pretty poorly in comparison, don't they?"
"Yeah" Kagome said simply, closing her eyes and leaning back against the cold concrete wall with a smile. "They do."
*Author's Note:
I've always thought Kagome would be more mature and a little jaded after all her experiences in the Feudal Era. Obviously she's still a teenager, but she's been through a lot.
