Title: After the Fall - Post Scene to Letting Go
Author: Lynne Facella
Category: Drama/Angst
Email: lynne1919@aol.com
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero. I wish they were mine but unfortunately they're not.
Summary: Ty's thoughts after the episode "Letting Go"

Spoiler Warning: Contains spoilers through the episode "Letting Go" and also some based on info in the NBC preview for the upcoming episode "Last Call."

******

Falling...

I'd never really experienced anything quite like it before. One moment I was hanging off the edge of the building, desperately clinging to Sully's hand, praying he'd somehow find the strength to pull me back up again. The next, I was plummeting down to what I thought was certain death.

I was lucky...really lucky. Instead of being smashed to pieces on the sidewalk, I'd landed on an airbag. Thank God the fire department had been there. The wind had been knocked out of me and I was a little bit shaky after it happened, but aside from that I was in pretty good shape.

I was okay...but Sully wasn't.

I'd known something was off with him when he didn't want to ride to the hospital with me. But my head was still a little fuzzy and I hadn't thought too much about it. He was late picking me up though and when he wouldn't even come inside the hospital, I realized that something was very wrong. The moment I got into the RMP I knew what it was. The car just reeked of alcohol. Once again, Sully had been drinking.

I knew he was blaming himself for what had happened. He admitted as much. He felt guilty because he let me go. I told him it wasn't his fault...that I didn't blame him... I did blame him for the drinking though. He said the drinking was no big deal, that he just did it because he was so upset about almost losing me. He said it wouldn't happen again. I would have liked to believe him, but it seemed there was always something to set him off. I was worried about him, scared that something bad was going to happen unless I did something drastic. I hated feeling like that but the truth was, I could no longer trust my partner.

After a lot of thought, I did the only thing I could think of...I called the union and explained the situation. The guy I talked to said he'd look into it for me, let me know what could be done. I hoped a solution would be reached and that it would happen quickly. The pressure of this whole situation was finally just getting to me. I knew I needed help - I couldn't handle it myself any longer.

I felt sick all the way home and it had nothing to do with the fact that I'd fallen four stories earlier that day. I'd betrayed my partner. I'd turned him in. Sully was going to be mad...really mad. I just had to hope that we'd be able to get past this, that he'd be able to forgive me. I knew there was a good chance he wouldn't, but I'd had to do it. I couldn't just stand by and watch him drink himself to death. It just wasn't an option.

I entered my apartment and was relieved to see that Carlos wasn't home. I just felt like I needed to be alone. I went into the kitchen and put on a pot of tea, something my mother had always done when I wasn't feeling well. I thought about calling her to give her a heads up on what had happened to me earlier, but she'd likely be asleep and I didn't have the heart to disturb her. She'd find out soon enough. Hopefully she wouldn't be too upset over it.

When the water boiled, I poured myself a cup of tea and settled down on the couch in the living room. I wondered what Sully was doing, if he was okay. I hoped he hadn't gone home to drink himself into oblivion, but I had serious doubts. I wondered what the union was going to do. I wished I could have thought of something else, but I just hadn't been able to come up with a good alternative.

The cup of hot tea had its desired effect, helping me to calm down considerably, and it wasn't long before I drifted off...

******

"Sully, don't let go of me!" I was hanging on to him for dear life, desperately trying to get back to the ledge of the building. I could feel myself beginning to slip from his grasp and then it happened. I felt him let go of my hand and saw his anguished expression as my body twisted and turned on my way down. I could see the pavement coming closer and closer and I began to scream.

******

"Davis! It's me, Bosco. What the hell is goin' on? I'm gonna break this door down if you don't open it!"

My heart was pounding wildly as I opened my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and wiped the perspiration off my forehead before I shakily got up from the couch. Shit, that dream had been even worse than what really happened. For one thing the building was a lot taller. It seemed like I'd been falling forever before I finally woke up. I made my way to the door and opened it. "Hey Bos." I looked at him in confusion, more than a little perplexed as to what he was doing here. I couldn't' remember Bosco ever coming to my apartment before. It was usually Sully who arrived at my doorstep at all hours of the night.

"Hey Davis. Are you alright? Jesus, man...I could hear you screaming all the way down the hallway."

"Yeah, I'm alright...bad dream," I mumbled, more than a little embarrassed as I stood aside so he could enter the apartment. "Come on in." I led him towards the living room and resumed my place on the couch as Bosco slumped down in a chair. "You want a beer or something?" Somehow I didn't think a cup of tea was Bosco's style.

"No thanks," Bosco replied, gazing at me intently. "Hey, you sure you're okay? I heard what happened to you today. Helluva drop."

"Yeah it was, but I'm okay." I looked at him curiously wondering why he was here before I was struck by a frightening thought. "Bos? Did...did something happen to Sully?" I asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear his answer.

"No, no Sully's fine," he said quickly, "Well...except for his problem..."

That got my attention. "You know?"

"Union rep called me tonight. He's a friend of mine and wanted to know what I knew about the situation. You could've come to me, Davis. I would have helped you with this."

I looked at him doubtfully. "No offense, Bosco, but why would I have gone to you? You and Sully well...you're not exactly the best of friends."

"That's not the point. I've dealt with this kind of thing before. A few years back there was this cop, Robbie Mueller. He was drinkin' really heavily. Anyhow we took him to this cabin, dried him out. Helluva weekend, but it ended up workin' out. That's what we need to do."

I didn't mean to, but I started to laugh. "You think Sully's willingly going to do this? Man, no way. He'll never do it. If this is the plan you've come up with, you're going to need another one."

"It won't be just you and me. We'll get some help. It's the best way to handle this, Davis. Unless you don't care whether or not he has a job that is."

"Of course I care," I snapped. "I want him to have a job. He's my partner for God's sake. I want him to be okay."

"Good." Bosco nodded in satisfaction. "That's all I needed to hear." He pulled a slip of paper out of his jacket pocket and handed it to me. "Tomorrow, when you go on duty, you drive. Go to this location and we'll be waiting there with a van."

I gnawed on my lip uncertainly as I stared down at the address on the paper, wondering if I had made a mistake, thinking maybe I should have given Sully one more chance.

"You've got to do this, Davis."

"Alright, alright." I nodded as I looked back at Bosco. "Sully is going to be royally pissed."

"A pissed partner you can deal with," Bosco stated. "You don't want to be dealin' with a dead partner."

"I know you're right," I said with a heavy sigh. "Doesn't make it any easier though." I'd made the call and now I was just going to have to deal with the consequences. Hopefully I'd done the right thing.

"We'll get him through this..." Bosco got up from the chair and came over to me, patting my shoulder awkwardly. "I'll get out of here, let you get some rest. You're goin' to need it...this isn't going to be any picnic, that's for sure."

"Thanks Bos," I said as he opened the door to leave. "I appreciate this."

"No problem..." he replied as he stepped out into the hallway then looked at me with a touch of uncertainty in his eyes. "You sure you're goin' to be okay? I can stay if you need me to..."

I shook my head quickly. "I'm fine. Besides, you'd better think about getting some sleep yourself."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Davis."

"See you," I echoed softly as I closed the door and headed back inside. I decided to take Bosco's advice and try to get some sleep. A short time later, I climbed in between the cool sheets of my bed in hopes of a good night's rest. My mind wouldn't stop processing though, and the sleep which had come so easily before, was suddenly elusive to me. After tossing and turning for half the night, I finally could feel my eyelids getting heavy. The last thought I had, before I fell into an uneasy slumber, was whether or not Sully would ever be able to forgive me for what we were about to do...