EVIL DEAD: THE SERIES "Junk Mail"
FROM: truthbnown@wildmail.com
TO: EldStone@houhnym.com
SUBJECT: Make Money Now! Here's How!
TEXT OF E-MAIL FOLLOWS:
Sorry for the fake subject line, but you never know who's monitoring these things.
El! Big news. The biggest. Trust me on this.
Have you ever heard of a show called "Mysteries of the World" on the Z-Net? Lame show, overall, hosted by one of those guys off one of those Star Treks, I think, or maybe Babylon Nine or whatever it is.
Anyhoo, this show looks at supernatural phenomena. Mostly, the lame stuff that we all know the Skeptical Enquirer bastards use to discredit believers in the supernatural: we're talking UFOs abducting rednecks, Chumbawambas sucking goats, mothmen, psychic flashes, the whole nine yards. Usually, nothing but New Age crap and second-hand gossip.
But they had an installment that got pulled by the network, and it's big. I've heard that a bootleg tape is circulating somewhere out there, but I haven't been able to lay my hands on it yet. Still trying to get my pal Frohike (you know, the one that came on to your daughter that time) to come through. Cross your fingers, because if the actual show is anything like the transcript I'm sending you in an attachment, this is a real mindfucker.
Some guy with the screen name "AmIAlone" sent this one out to the alt.supernatural groups. Here's part of what he said:
The following is a verbatem transcript of one segment that was filmed for Episode 6,
production number X106, of the TV series "Mysteries of the World". The facsists at
Z-Net decided it was "too disturbing" and "unsubstanciated" and crap like that.
They wouldn't let the show run it, and they even ordered that the show have all
the tapes destroyed. Dont ask me how I got my copy. I won't tell you.
Just remember, the truth is out there.
Peace.
I went in and cleaned up the text some for you; the guy who transcribed it can't spell for shit.
Take a look at the transcript, and let me know what you think. You ever heard of this guy Williams? Think he's the one we're looking for?
Lemme know what you think. Love to Rosetta.
--- Billy
"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time." -- George Iles
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
TEXT OF FILE ATTACHMENT:
(shot of strip mall)
V.O.: (narrator of the series)
This is the Pleasant Springs Shopping Center in northern Detroit. A quiet row of stores, half of them now closed. But while one was opened, it was the site of an event that has never been satisfactorily explained... truly, one of the mysteries of the world.
(shot of one of the stores, a Kresky-Quinn Unfinished Furniture Mart)
V.O.: (a differerent voice)
"It was about five, maybe six years ago. They've shut the store down since then, replaced it with a furniture store I think..."
(photograph superimposed on the screen of the same storefront, but several years earlier, when it was an S-Mart)
V.O.: (narrator)
Why did the S-Mart store at this location close? Some claim it was because a bigger, newer S-Mart store was being built just a few miles down the road. But others say it's because this store was haunted.
(shot of a man identified as Eugene Pfassbinder, store manager of Kresky-Quinn Unfinished Furniture Mart)
PFASSBINDER:
"Haunted? This place? I never heard tell of any such thing. But it would explain the blood stains that keep showing up in the floors..."
(shot of a man identified as Frank Tresby, relative of hauntings victim)
TRESBY:
"That store... it killed my wife. She just went in to get some cleaning supplies, and a big tin of popcorn for a birthday present for my cousin Joe..."
(photo of Madeline Tresby, deceased. She is a pretty woman, smiling for the camera)
V.O. (narrator)
"What happened at the S-Mart on the night of June 8, 1993? If you check the police records, you will find that Mrs. Tresby was the victim of an accident involving a rack of rifles that had been inexplicably left on display while loaded, and fell over, firing a volley of bullets into her..."
(photo of Ashley J. Williams, staring incredulously at the camera from a side angle as if caught by surprise)
V.O.: (narrator)
"But others say she was killed by this man, identified as S-Mart employee Ashley Jeremiah Williams, who was acting in self-defense."
(shot of a lanky figure in silhouette, identified as 'Anonymous Store Employee')
V.O.: (narrator)
"This man, who asked to remain anonymous, worked in the store and was an eyewitness to the events that transpired that night. He says Williams shot the woman, but only after she had undergone a strange transformation..."
ANONYMOUS: (voice electronically distorted)
"Ash had just finished boring me with this long-winded, stupid story that made, like, NO sense at all, when this woman turned into a thing."
INTERVIEWER: (off-camera; same voice as the narrator)
"What do you mean by 'thing'?"
ANONYMOUS:
"She was floating in the air, screaming, yelling about killing him. And she looked pug-ugly."
(narrator/interviewer previously heard, Brice Levitson, appears on camera)
LEVITSON:
"Our anonymous source described the scenario that took place. Here is a Mysteries of the World re-enactment of the events of that tragic day. Bear in mind that these events are based on the sworn testimony of the miserable souls who survived these tragic events."
(cut to: soundstage re-enactment of the events of June 8, 1993. The housewares department of S-Mart)
(we see actors presenting Ashley J. Williams -- a bit bland-faced, and bearing more resemblance to a young Ken Berry than to the photograph previously shown of Williams -- and a coworker of his, played by a handsome, muscular blond-haired man)
ASH:
"I thought about staying. They offered me the chance to lead them, to teach them, to... to be king."
CO-WORKER: (bored)
"Uh-huh"
ASH:
"But my place is here. So I swallowed the juice, said the words, and here I am."
CO-WORKER: (still bored)
"Did you say the words right this time?"
ASH:
"Well... maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah... basically."
(Ash resumes price-tagging items)
(pretty girl from the cosmetics counter approaches him)
COSMETICS GIRL:
"You know that story about how you could've been king. I... ah... think it's kinda cute."
ASH:
"Yeah...."
(customer nearby, an actress representing Madeline Tresby, spins around. Her face is, through rather inexpensive makeup, made to look demonic, complete with red horns. She knocks Ash out of the way and moves toward the cosmetics girl. Ash breaks open a display and pulls out a shotgun, then loads it and fires at the demonic woman)
ASH:
"Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store."
MADELINE (voice raspy and evil)
"Who the hell are you?"
ASH:
"The name's Ash... housewares."
(they fight)
MADELINE:
"I'll swallow your soul!"
ASH:
"Come get some."
(as Ash and the demon-possessed Madeline clash, Ash's blond muscular co-worker shuffles a bunch of children and nuns to safety, using himself as a human shield to protect them).
V.O. (narrator):
"When the smoke cleared, Madeline Tresby was dead and the demon that many say possessed her had, presumably, been banished back to hell."
(shot of Ash standing triumphantly over Madeline's dead body. He takes the cosmetics girl in his arms and kisses her.)
ASH:
"Hail to the king, baby."
(cut to Brice Levitson, standing at a grave marker for Madeline Tresby)
LEVITSON:
"Incredible as it may sound, this was one of several documented cases of people apparently possessed by demons in the same S-Mart location. In all known instances, they made attempts to kill Ashley Williams."
(shot of the real Ashley Williams getting out of a Pinto and looking over at the video camera. He is clearly startled)
LEVITSON (off-screen):
"Mr. Williams, can we talk with you about the demonic attacks at your last job, four years ago?"
WILLIAMS:
"Leave me alone, whoever the bleep you are."
(Williams picks up the pace of his step, trying to outwalk Levitson and his camera man.)
LEVITSON:
"Why won't you talk about it, Mr. Williams? Were the demons there because the store was built on an ancient burial ground, or were they after you?"
(Williams spins around)
WILLIAMS:
"What part of 'no comment' isn't getting through your thick bleeping skull?"
LEVITSON (off-camera):
"What would say if you met the widower of Madeline Tresby, the woman some people say you shot when she became possessed by an evil ghost?"
WILLIAMS:
"Them, I'd give my condolences to. You, I'll tell to Bleep off."
(Williams lifts his right fist, which is mechanical, and swings it toward the camera lens. The image cracks, then goes black)
(cut to: Levitson standing beside Madeline Tresby's grave)
LEVITSON:
"The truth may never be known. And for the survivors of Madeline Tresby, there is no sense of closure."
(cut to: Frank Tresby)
FRANK TRESBY:
"If there were demons possessing people in that store, they should have posted warnings or something."
(cut to: Eugene Pfassbinder, looking back at his employees in the unfinished furniture store)
PFASSBINDER:
"Any of you guys ever see any demons around here?"
EMPLOYEE 1:
"No"
EMPLOYEE 2:
"Nope"
EMPLOYEE 3:
"No, but every time I close alone I hear these things whispering in the shadows...I thought it was mice..."
(cut to: Levitson)
LEVITSON:
"The family of Madeline Tresby has filed suit against GlobeCo, the company that owns the S-Mart chain --- and, ironically, the company that owns this network --- for ten million dollars, claiming that the store's negligence resulted in Tresby's death. Ashley Williams continues to work for the store, at a new location, and no demonic attacks have been reported there."
(shot of the strip mall)
V.O. (Levitson):
"Was this building haunted? Or were the demons after Williams himself, and only stopped their attacks after he killed them all? The truth may never be known. For 'Mysteries of the World,' this is Brice
Levitson reporting."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: EldStone@houhnym.com
TO: truthbnown@wildmail.com
SUBJECT: re: Make Money Now! Here's How!
TEXT OF E-MAIL FOLLOWS:
Dear Billy,
Very interesting.
I will look into this Williams fellow's background; the name seems familiar to me somehow, but I am not sure from what. The descriptions in the report sound like the creatures described in Tobin's Spirit Guide to me, but I would need more to go on. The line 'swallow your soul' was in particular representative of the creatures we have heard tell of. The deadites are notoriously redundant in their threats.
Rosetta and I will be making a trip to Detroit shortly to research this Williams ourselves, and determine if he is indeed the prophesized 'Deadite Slayer'. . I'm no spring chicken, you know, and with the only vampire slayers we know of being on the West Coast and the only werewolf slayer being down in New Orleans, having a monster slayer in this neck of the woods would be a Godsend.
Even if not, he sounds like someone who knows how to defeat a demon, and it would be handy to have him on my speed dial.
If you get an actual videotape of this, be sure to let me know.
cordially,
Eldridge Stone, esq.
FROM: truthbnown@wildmail.com
TO: EldStone@houhnym.com
SUBJECT: Make Money Now! Here's How!
TEXT OF E-MAIL FOLLOWS:
Sorry for the fake subject line, but you never know who's monitoring these things.
El! Big news. The biggest. Trust me on this.
Have you ever heard of a show called "Mysteries of the World" on the Z-Net? Lame show, overall, hosted by one of those guys off one of those Star Treks, I think, or maybe Babylon Nine or whatever it is.
Anyhoo, this show looks at supernatural phenomena. Mostly, the lame stuff that we all know the Skeptical Enquirer bastards use to discredit believers in the supernatural: we're talking UFOs abducting rednecks, Chumbawambas sucking goats, mothmen, psychic flashes, the whole nine yards. Usually, nothing but New Age crap and second-hand gossip.
But they had an installment that got pulled by the network, and it's big. I've heard that a bootleg tape is circulating somewhere out there, but I haven't been able to lay my hands on it yet. Still trying to get my pal Frohike (you know, the one that came on to your daughter that time) to come through. Cross your fingers, because if the actual show is anything like the transcript I'm sending you in an attachment, this is a real mindfucker.
Some guy with the screen name "AmIAlone" sent this one out to the alt.supernatural groups. Here's part of what he said:
The following is a verbatem transcript of one segment that was filmed for Episode 6,
production number X106, of the TV series "Mysteries of the World". The facsists at
Z-Net decided it was "too disturbing" and "unsubstanciated" and crap like that.
They wouldn't let the show run it, and they even ordered that the show have all
the tapes destroyed. Dont ask me how I got my copy. I won't tell you.
Just remember, the truth is out there.
Peace.
I went in and cleaned up the text some for you; the guy who transcribed it can't spell for shit.
Take a look at the transcript, and let me know what you think. You ever heard of this guy Williams? Think he's the one we're looking for?
Lemme know what you think. Love to Rosetta.
--- Billy
"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time." -- George Iles
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
TEXT OF FILE ATTACHMENT:
(shot of strip mall)
V.O.: (narrator of the series)
This is the Pleasant Springs Shopping Center in northern Detroit. A quiet row of stores, half of them now closed. But while one was opened, it was the site of an event that has never been satisfactorily explained... truly, one of the mysteries of the world.
(shot of one of the stores, a Kresky-Quinn Unfinished Furniture Mart)
V.O.: (a differerent voice)
"It was about five, maybe six years ago. They've shut the store down since then, replaced it with a furniture store I think..."
(photograph superimposed on the screen of the same storefront, but several years earlier, when it was an S-Mart)
V.O.: (narrator)
Why did the S-Mart store at this location close? Some claim it was because a bigger, newer S-Mart store was being built just a few miles down the road. But others say it's because this store was haunted.
(shot of a man identified as Eugene Pfassbinder, store manager of Kresky-Quinn Unfinished Furniture Mart)
PFASSBINDER:
"Haunted? This place? I never heard tell of any such thing. But it would explain the blood stains that keep showing up in the floors..."
(shot of a man identified as Frank Tresby, relative of hauntings victim)
TRESBY:
"That store... it killed my wife. She just went in to get some cleaning supplies, and a big tin of popcorn for a birthday present for my cousin Joe..."
(photo of Madeline Tresby, deceased. She is a pretty woman, smiling for the camera)
V.O. (narrator)
"What happened at the S-Mart on the night of June 8, 1993? If you check the police records, you will find that Mrs. Tresby was the victim of an accident involving a rack of rifles that had been inexplicably left on display while loaded, and fell over, firing a volley of bullets into her..."
(photo of Ashley J. Williams, staring incredulously at the camera from a side angle as if caught by surprise)
V.O.: (narrator)
"But others say she was killed by this man, identified as S-Mart employee Ashley Jeremiah Williams, who was acting in self-defense."
(shot of a lanky figure in silhouette, identified as 'Anonymous Store Employee')
V.O.: (narrator)
"This man, who asked to remain anonymous, worked in the store and was an eyewitness to the events that transpired that night. He says Williams shot the woman, but only after she had undergone a strange transformation..."
ANONYMOUS: (voice electronically distorted)
"Ash had just finished boring me with this long-winded, stupid story that made, like, NO sense at all, when this woman turned into a thing."
INTERVIEWER: (off-camera; same voice as the narrator)
"What do you mean by 'thing'?"
ANONYMOUS:
"She was floating in the air, screaming, yelling about killing him. And she looked pug-ugly."
(narrator/interviewer previously heard, Brice Levitson, appears on camera)
LEVITSON:
"Our anonymous source described the scenario that took place. Here is a Mysteries of the World re-enactment of the events of that tragic day. Bear in mind that these events are based on the sworn testimony of the miserable souls who survived these tragic events."
(cut to: soundstage re-enactment of the events of June 8, 1993. The housewares department of S-Mart)
(we see actors presenting Ashley J. Williams -- a bit bland-faced, and bearing more resemblance to a young Ken Berry than to the photograph previously shown of Williams -- and a coworker of his, played by a handsome, muscular blond-haired man)
ASH:
"I thought about staying. They offered me the chance to lead them, to teach them, to... to be king."
CO-WORKER: (bored)
"Uh-huh"
ASH:
"But my place is here. So I swallowed the juice, said the words, and here I am."
CO-WORKER: (still bored)
"Did you say the words right this time?"
ASH:
"Well... maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah... basically."
(Ash resumes price-tagging items)
(pretty girl from the cosmetics counter approaches him)
COSMETICS GIRL:
"You know that story about how you could've been king. I... ah... think it's kinda cute."
ASH:
"Yeah...."
(customer nearby, an actress representing Madeline Tresby, spins around. Her face is, through rather inexpensive makeup, made to look demonic, complete with red horns. She knocks Ash out of the way and moves toward the cosmetics girl. Ash breaks open a display and pulls out a shotgun, then loads it and fires at the demonic woman)
ASH:
"Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store."
MADELINE (voice raspy and evil)
"Who the hell are you?"
ASH:
"The name's Ash... housewares."
(they fight)
MADELINE:
"I'll swallow your soul!"
ASH:
"Come get some."
(as Ash and the demon-possessed Madeline clash, Ash's blond muscular co-worker shuffles a bunch of children and nuns to safety, using himself as a human shield to protect them).
V.O. (narrator):
"When the smoke cleared, Madeline Tresby was dead and the demon that many say possessed her had, presumably, been banished back to hell."
(shot of Ash standing triumphantly over Madeline's dead body. He takes the cosmetics girl in his arms and kisses her.)
ASH:
"Hail to the king, baby."
(cut to Brice Levitson, standing at a grave marker for Madeline Tresby)
LEVITSON:
"Incredible as it may sound, this was one of several documented cases of people apparently possessed by demons in the same S-Mart location. In all known instances, they made attempts to kill Ashley Williams."
(shot of the real Ashley Williams getting out of a Pinto and looking over at the video camera. He is clearly startled)
LEVITSON (off-screen):
"Mr. Williams, can we talk with you about the demonic attacks at your last job, four years ago?"
WILLIAMS:
"Leave me alone, whoever the bleep you are."
(Williams picks up the pace of his step, trying to outwalk Levitson and his camera man.)
LEVITSON:
"Why won't you talk about it, Mr. Williams? Were the demons there because the store was built on an ancient burial ground, or were they after you?"
(Williams spins around)
WILLIAMS:
"What part of 'no comment' isn't getting through your thick bleeping skull?"
LEVITSON (off-camera):
"What would say if you met the widower of Madeline Tresby, the woman some people say you shot when she became possessed by an evil ghost?"
WILLIAMS:
"Them, I'd give my condolences to. You, I'll tell to Bleep off."
(Williams lifts his right fist, which is mechanical, and swings it toward the camera lens. The image cracks, then goes black)
(cut to: Levitson standing beside Madeline Tresby's grave)
LEVITSON:
"The truth may never be known. And for the survivors of Madeline Tresby, there is no sense of closure."
(cut to: Frank Tresby)
FRANK TRESBY:
"If there were demons possessing people in that store, they should have posted warnings or something."
(cut to: Eugene Pfassbinder, looking back at his employees in the unfinished furniture store)
PFASSBINDER:
"Any of you guys ever see any demons around here?"
EMPLOYEE 1:
"No"
EMPLOYEE 2:
"Nope"
EMPLOYEE 3:
"No, but every time I close alone I hear these things whispering in the shadows...I thought it was mice..."
(cut to: Levitson)
LEVITSON:
"The family of Madeline Tresby has filed suit against GlobeCo, the company that owns the S-Mart chain --- and, ironically, the company that owns this network --- for ten million dollars, claiming that the store's negligence resulted in Tresby's death. Ashley Williams continues to work for the store, at a new location, and no demonic attacks have been reported there."
(shot of the strip mall)
V.O. (Levitson):
"Was this building haunted? Or were the demons after Williams himself, and only stopped their attacks after he killed them all? The truth may never be known. For 'Mysteries of the World,' this is Brice
Levitson reporting."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: EldStone@houhnym.com
TO: truthbnown@wildmail.com
SUBJECT: re: Make Money Now! Here's How!
TEXT OF E-MAIL FOLLOWS:
Dear Billy,
Very interesting.
I will look into this Williams fellow's background; the name seems familiar to me somehow, but I am not sure from what. The descriptions in the report sound like the creatures described in Tobin's Spirit Guide to me, but I would need more to go on. The line 'swallow your soul' was in particular representative of the creatures we have heard tell of. The deadites are notoriously redundant in their threats.
Rosetta and I will be making a trip to Detroit shortly to research this Williams ourselves, and determine if he is indeed the prophesized 'Deadite Slayer'. . I'm no spring chicken, you know, and with the only vampire slayers we know of being on the West Coast and the only werewolf slayer being down in New Orleans, having a monster slayer in this neck of the woods would be a Godsend.
Even if not, he sounds like someone who knows how to defeat a demon, and it would be handy to have him on my speed dial.
If you get an actual videotape of this, be sure to let me know.
cordially,
Eldridge Stone, esq.