Hello everyone! Long time no see! I'm starting a new little mini-series of one shots for Magnus and Alec from Shadowhunters. The show has been leaving a little too much to the imagination, and their scenes seem incomplete. Not to say this is what 'actually happens' after the pan-aways, but I'd like to expand on their story and put my own spin on it.
This is my first fiction about Malec, so be kind! Let me know what scene from the show that you would like expanding on! Hope you enjoy. Also! There is no rhyme or reason to the order in which these are posted, so feel free to suggest even stuff from season 1!
Cheers
(Season 2 Episode 12 expansion)
The pain on his face is plain. He doesn't even try to hide the darkness behind his eyes, the tension that wracks his body and exhausts him. Wandering into the living room, he finds Alec there, picking up the pieces of a glass vase, broken in the struggle.
The young shadowhunter's presence doesn't bring on the usual calming feeling that Magnus has gotten used to over the past few months. Alec has been a kind of balm to a burn in so many situations; it disturbs the warlock when he doesn't find that peace in this moment. In fact, Alec being here is making it next to impossible not to dwell on the events of the past 72 hours.
Instead of approaching his companion, Magnus opts to take a seat on the sofa, each muscle sore and painfully tense.
Alec watches him with careful eyes, unable to think of anything profound to say that could possibly sooth his boyfriend in any way.
With a low sigh, he abandons the task at his feet and stands up, turning towards the broken looking man, perched carefully on the edge of the couch, as if he might be a flight risk.
"Magnus, I'm so sorry." Alec finally says, because the silence is killing him. "For everything that you had to go through." The words are heavy, and not enough. But Magnus takes a deep breath, appreciating the effort that Alec is making. He reminds himself that these past few days have been difficult for Alec as well… Just not in the same ways.
"That agony rune…" Magnus finally speaks, his voice feeble and slow, like each word hurts him a little. "It made me relive memories from my past that I have spent… centuries trying to forget."
Alec watches Magnus's ancient eyes, flicker and glaze with dark thoughts, pulled from the graveyard of rotting memories in the back of the warlock's mind. Forgotten skeletons locked in his proverbial closet, now being dredged through his mind, stuffing his head full of unspeakable thoughts and stale nightmares.
Alec tries to catch his eye. To bring him back. But he's a thousand miles away.
They both remain, stuck in the moment, unable to see a way forward or around this situation. Alec needing desperately to reach his far away companion, to apologize until he's out of breath. To hold him until his muscles relax and life returns to his bones. His helplessness overwhelms him, grips at his throat and chokes him.
All the while Magnus is swimming. Gasping and reeling in his own personal sea of confusion and pain. Years of repression spilling over his mind in an uncontrollable bleed. It leaks through his veins and through his skin, making him numb. Turning his hands to ice and his throat to sandpaper. The more he tries to pull through, to reach for the light at the blackened tunnel, the more his own mind seems to drag him under, keeping him from the one thing he needs right now.
To touch, to feel, to grip and move. To remember the good. To remember the real. His body doesn't feel like his own. As if when he was moved out of Valentine, he got stuck somewhere in between. Like his bones are one size too big and his skin is one size too small. Like each day of the last 400 years are coming into question.
And he doesn't have any answers.
Alec, defrosting, moves forward to take the space next to Magnus on the couch. Magnus registers the movement, his body instinctively wanting to move closer.
He doesn't.
"Magnus. What can I do?" The desperation in the shadowhunter's voice is thinly veiled. He counts the rings on Magnus's fingers, breathes. "Tell me what to do to fix this, please."
The words are simple enough. They're also impossible to answer in this moment. Magnus's expression clouding over, his dry eyes burning. The dehydration from days in a jail cell making tears next to impossible.
The left over pain from the torture runes that never marked this body, this skin, somehow still burn and sting.
Finally looking towards his agonized partner, Alec's eyes tight and filled with worry, he opens his mouth, but no words come out. There is nothing he can say. No one he can blame (besides Azazel, but there's nothing he can do about that now.) He almost wishes he had something to hold against Alec. Something to justify the irrational anger coursing through him, making it difficult to think clearly.
A part of him wants space.
Another part of him wants to press so closely to the man sitting next to him (like crush your insides, bruise your ribs, take off all your clothes so there's nothing keeping us apart) kind of embrace, that he curls his hands into tight first, being careful with himself. Afraid he might do something he will regret later.
After the silence has stretched to an excruciating length, Alec pushes a hand through his hair. Sliding off the couch and onto his knees, he turn so he's looking up into the far away eyes of the man that he loves. His knees press to the carpet at Magnus's feet, his hands reach out, resting on Magnus's knees (that he didn't realize until now, are shaking.)
"Magnus," his name is practically an exhale on Alec's breath. His voice hitching in his throat, he squeezes Magnus's knee, pulling his eyes his way until Magnus finally looks at him. Really looks at him.
Alec's heart breaks in his chest. Sure of internal bleeding.
"What can I do?" Alec tries to speak clearly, but his throat it tight with the tears that get stuck in his throat and never make it to his eyes. He helplessly lowers his forehead to his hands that rest on Magnus's knees,
The moment feels extremely final. Like something within their relationship has been severed, and now their happiness is spilling all over the floor. Sinking into the expensive rug and out of their grasp.
When Magnus's fingers brush the back of Alec's neck, the hunter stop breathing. His entire body frozen with the long awaited touch from his defeated lover. Lifting his face, he finds Magnus's golden eyes peering down at him, an unreadable expression on his face.
His usual cloaking spell to hide his warlock mark gone. A true sign of how drained he really is.
Magnus takes a moment here, swallowing. His adam's apple bobs wildly. His fingers gripping hard to the back of Alec's neck and his other with a handful of the front of Alec's jacket, as if he were trying to keep him from leaving with his bare hands.
They stay this way for ages. Alec, kneeling on the ground in front of Magnus, while Magnus holds onto him as if his life (or sanity) depends on it. Like if he lets go, this haven that they've built around themselves will turn to smoke and drift out the open window, tricking Magnus into thinking it was all just a gorgeous dream with a sour aftertaste.
"Stay," The word barely moves the warlock's lips. Quiet enough that Alec would have missed it had they not been inches apart. It takes a moment for Alec to come back to himself, realize that Magnus has defrosted enough to speak.
It takes him another moment to realize he's answering his question.
Stay.
Alec nods carefully, pressing up on his knees so the two boys are eyelevel. Magnus's hands release his boyfriend and fall between them and into his lap where he finds Alec's callused fingers.
"I will," Alec assures quickly, eager to keep Magnus's gaze, to keep him in this world, in this room. Keep his mind away from whatever monsters from his past that now plague his present.
Keep him talking, keep him here.
"I'll stay here," Alec continues, lifting his hands to each side of Magnus's neck, pressing a thumb under his chin, forcing him to look the young hunter in the eye. "As long as you need. As long as you want me here, I'll be here,"
Magnus swallows again, closing his eyes and nodding. As much as he can with Alec's hands on him.
"I'm sorry," Alec adds, because there is nothing more to say. Because he'll keep saying it until the day the Magnus gets sick of it. (And then he will say it some more.)
"I know," Magnus nods, because it's not his fault. Because Alec saved his life and he should never apologize ever again.
"I'm sorry..."
"Stop."
"I'm so sorry-"
"Shut up-" Magnus hisses into the air between them before he's leaning in, closing the space.
The kiss is rushed and almost painful with Magnus's intensity. His need for Alec outranks his need for clear thought and stable coping mechanisms. Gathering fistfulls of Alec's clothing, he pulls him closer still, the young hunter having to brace himself on the couch to stop from falling forward. Magnus's knees press hard into Alec's ribs, the warlock's teeth snagging Alec's bottom lip, with a sharp intake of breath at the sting, the hunter draws closer still.
"Mmm," Alec hums, trying to communicate without words, because Magnus is not allowing him the space he needs to speak actual words. Heavy breathing and a tongue asking for access, Alec presses up off the ground, keeping his head stooped, his jacket still in Magnus's grip. His knee lands against the cushion next to Magnus's leg as the Warlock practically pulls him into his lap; Alec only catching himself with his hands on the back of the leather sofa, bracketing Magnus's shoulders.
It's within a few hot minutes that Alec finds himself on his hands and knees above Magnus, his jacket thrown to the floor while Magnus's is crumpled underneath them; their legs tangled and their hearts beating in time against their ribs as Alec presses the warlock into the couch.
It's Alec who finally breaks away for air, but he doesn't go far. He presses lazy, open kisses down Magnus's jaw and across his throat with his numb lips, catching his breath in the crook of the warlock's neck, his tongue tasting salt there.
Magnus savours the closeness, his body reacting to each small tilt and shift that Alec makes above him. The dark clouds that fill his mind beginning to break apart, leaving room for slivers of clarity to shine through.
The heated moment slowly morphs into something calm and quiet. Alec's aching lips brush back and forth across Magnus's shoulder, the soft cotton against swollen lips brings Alec's heart back to it's pace, his breathing slowing to match the man's beneath him.
Magnus eventually shifts closer to the edge of the couch, allowing Alec the room to sink into the cushions alongside him, their narrow frames running the full length of the couch. The two boys facing each other in the dim light.
Alec blinks slowly, watching Magnus's troubled gaze with fascination as each emotion runs across his face like the world's most excruciating slideshow.
"That's probably not the best way to fix this…" Alec whispers, embarrassingly breathless. His tongue swiping along his bottom lip, tasting blood there. Magnus has never been so rough with him (not that Alec minded the sharp bite of Magnus's teeth. The tightness in his jeans proving that well.) but it worries him that Magnus might not have been as present minded as he seemed to be in the heat of the moment.
The young hunter focuses hard on calming himself. Though his mind might be worried and distracted with today's events, his body is responding to Magnus's touch and proximity in it's usual wild ways. He almost feels guilty for it. He has to remind himself that keeping his body in check with Magnus's hands on him has never been a talent of his.
Magnus allows the smallest of smiles to pull at the corner of this mouth while a gentle hand searches between them until soft, long fingers are lacing with strong callused ones.
"Probably not," He agrees, his voice hoarse, eyes hooded, exhaustion making another unwelcome appearance.
They stay this way for ages. What was left of the sunlight that filtered through the deep windows of Magnus's home disappears completely. The various lamps placed around the room being the the only things illuminating the space.
Magnus's eyes flutter closed after just a few minutes, his grip on Alec's hand becomes looser as he falls into a peaceful slumber. Alec can't look away as he watches the tortured man unravel and relax next to him. His mouth soft, his eyelids shifting and fluttering with what Alec hopes isn't a nightmare.
Just in case, the shadowhunter rubs soothing circles into the back of Magnus's hand with the pad of his thumb. He watches with a childlike wonderment, as if each sound and breath that belongs to Magnus is something he can't bear to miss.
Eventually, the consequences of Alec's tall frame contoured to the shape of the couch begin to set in. His right shoulder and hip begin to ache and the urge to straighten and stretch his long limbs overrules the desire to lay here forever and watch his boyfriend sleep.
With as much gentleness and grace as he can muster, he lifts and shifts his body up and over the sleeping warlock next to him. Of course with the softness of the cushions and his complete lack of finesse, Magnus ends up stirring anyway.
"Hey," Alec whispers, picking up his crumpled jacket and draping it over his arm before kneeling down in front of his half asleep boyfriend. "I was going to run you a shower. Do you think you can stand?"
Magnus blinks slow, as if he thinks he might still be dreaming. He focuses and defocuses on Alec's face, the groggy warlock lifting his hand to run it through his own hair. It's still perfectly styled, if not a little flat on the side he way lying. The floral pattern of the decorative pillow beneath his head is pressed into the skin of his neck.
Alec becomes mesmerized once again.
He's beautiful.
Magnus's brows pull together slightly, as if trying to remember what Alec asked him just a second ago. With a moment of hesitation, he gives a small nod and lets Alec help him into a seated position, his feet sliding off the couch and back onto the floor. His whole body sags, he feels like jello covered lead.
"Good?" Alec asks, afraid to let go, in fear Magnus might fall over.
"Fine," Magnus assures, nodding a little more convincingly and forcing himself to sit straighter as he tries to wake himself up.
"Okay," Alec nods, cautiously releasing Magnus's hands and standing up. "You can stay here, I'll be back." He set his jacket on the side of the couch before making his way to the kitchen.
There he finds Magnus's collection of herbs and potions. Pulling open a few strangely labelled cupboards, he tries to remember the names of the painkillers Magnus has used on him in the past when he's come back from a hunt with sore muscles and migraines.
Finding the small bottle with familiar looking pink leaves, and another with an orange liquid the consistency of melted ice cream, he closes the doors, keeping them both in one hand as he snags a glass from the counter with the other. Filling it full of cold water, he contemplates making tea, but decides against it.
Alec enters the master bedroom, setting his collection of things on the table on Magnus's side of the bed. The curtains in front of the window move with the light breeze that comes through the screen, the moon shining through the glass making everything glow white.
Making his way to the ensuite bathroom, he flicks on the light and starts the fan.
Alec busies himself with turning on the shower, pulling a fresh towel from the closet and hanging it on the hook next to the glass door that begins to fog up with the steam from the hot water.
Scratching the back of his neck, he glances around the space, satisfied that he's done what he can.
When he re-enters the bedroom, he finds Magnus in the doorway, leaning hard into the doorframe, shoulders sloped and eyes heavy as looks down at his hands. It's then Alec notices Magnus's phone, buzzing quietly in the Warlock's palm, it's screen illuminated with the phone call. Magnus only stares at the screen, thumb hovering over the answer key.
"Everything okay?" The Alec crosses the room in a few long strides, looking at the phone, not recognizing the number on the call display.
"Mm," Magnus hums with a nod, "Client." He answers simply.
Alec frowns, reaching out and and taking the phone right out of his hand.
"Wh-"
"You're not working tonight," Alec says, his tone leaving Magnus little room for argument. The sleepy warlock doesn't try to make excuses or even object when Alec holds the power button until the phone powers down and heads to the nightstand, plugging it into the charger there.
"I didn't know what to get you, I'm assuming you don't have Aspirin? So I just kinda, grabbed stuff." Alec gestures to the vials on the small table, talking a little faster than is normal. Mostly because he doesn't know what else to do. The silence feels empty, and he tries hard to fill it.
Magnus walks further into the room, approaching Alec, startling him a little when he comes up behind him, his hand brushing the shadowhunters side.
"Sweet," Magnus murmurs, dropping an easy kiss on Alec's shoulder as he examines Alec's colourful choice of herbs and potions.
Magnus hears Alec's breath hitch in his throat and smiles against that shoulder, tempted to run his teeth across the muscle there, but holds himself back, knowing he won't be able to follow through with anything he starts. Not with the way he's feeling. Insead, be steps back, making his way to the steam-filled bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Alec lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and heads to the dresser, pulling off his shirt and discarding it to the hamper. Feeling overheated and flushed (all of a sudden.)
Inside the quiet and warm bathroom, Magnus peels off the layers of clothing, letting the expensive garments drop to the tiles floor. He steps under the hot spray, letting the water run over his shoulders and down his back, soothing the tension there.
Next he ducks his head under the stream, lifting his hands to massage his scalp, the carefully styled hair drooping as the water weighs down the strands and washes away the product. He cups his hands under the running water and splashes it over his face, scrubbing away the makeup that still remains there.
It's obvious that Valentine did little to nothing the past few days in regards to grooming or even attempting to take care of Magnus's body. His skin feels dry and the removal of the liner around his eyes is almost painful.
Once his skin is tingling and raw from scrubbing and the hot water that pours from the showerhead, he turns the knob and pops the glass door open, snagging the soft towel from the hook.
When the door to the bathroom finally opens, Alec has changed into a pair of plaid pajama pants and a fresh cotton t-shirt (just a few of the things he's begun to keep in a drawer at Magnus's place.) and he has climbed into what has recently become 'his side' of the large, comfortable bed.
Magnus has a towel wrapped low around his hips and is rubbing another on his hair, causing it to stick up in a million different directions. Even with the partial obstruction of the towel, Alec can't help but stare at the warlock's naked face.
He's seen his boyfriend without the jewelry and his usual meticulous wardrobe. He'd seen him without the glitter and the heavy dark makeup… but there's something about this moment. The absolute lack of pretenses. Something about Magnus's ability to look this perfect, when he isn't trying to.
His bare face and floppy hair paired with the yellow cat eyes that Alec so rarely sees, makes him look younger and softer than ever.
Dropping the smaller towel to side, he runs his hands through his now mostly dry hair, looking into Alec's steady gaze all the while. The young shadowhunter realizes only when Magnus lifts an eyebrow in his direction, that he is leaning forward, mouth partially open while he watches Magnus with unbridled admiration.
Alec snaps his mouth shut and leans back into the pillows behind him before looking away from those teasing eyes. Though they don't fall far; but instead catch on a strange pattern in blue and purple that draws across the tall warlock's ribs and torso. Small round spots, four in a row, the bruises a contrast on his otherwise unblemished skin.
Alec recognizes the pattern a fist connecting with skin, leaving the abstract pattern that now sprinkles across Magnus's side.
Magnus watches the darkness register in Alec's expression, and allows him to take in the damage, his eyes trailing across the warlock's naked chest, horror clouding Alec's eyes.
"By the angle, what did they do to you." Alec shakes his head, "How?"
"Seems when we switched back, I took a few of the wounds with me." Magnus explains quietly, glancing down at the raised bruises, "Shame. I would've prefered Valentine to hold onto them for me." He sounds far more casual than Alec feels, and it takes everything in the shadowhunter to keep his mouth shut. Magnus doesn't need anything right now except rest.
Magnus walks over to his dresser, changing into a pair of navy boxers and tosses the towel to the hamper in the corner before wandering over to his bedside table. He regards the water and Alec's collection of various magical substances with a slow smile a quick glance at his awkward looking boyfriend, watching his every move.
Picking up the vial with the pink petals inside, he pops the cork and removes two dried leaves, placing them on his tongue. They dissolve immediately and leave a heavy, earthy taste in the back of his throat. Replacing the cork he picks up the glass of water and drinks until it's empty.
The effects of the painkiller begin working on the headache that has settled at the back of his neck. A quiet sigh of relief from Magnus puts Alec more at ease, his grip on the comforter loosening fractionally as he watches Magnus pull the dark red quilt back and slide into place next to him.
"I thought you wanted me to sleep," Magnus murmurs, getting comfortable.
"What?" Alec asks, confused, "I do."
"You keep staring me down like that, I'm gonna have to pick up where you left off on the couch," Magnus relaxes onto his back, his words coming out in one long sigh. His tone is light enough, but with his eyes closed, Alec can't read Magnus's mind the way he usually can. Leaving him hopeless in determining if he's serious or not.
"Sorry," he whispers, quickly mirroring Magnus's posture and shifting onto his back, his eyes lifting to the bedroom ceiling. A warm blush rises into his cheeks at Magnus's words.
"Shhh," Magnus hums quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. Wishing Alec would stop with the apologies. He doesn't have anything to be sorry for.
They lay this way, flat on their backs as the minutes tick by. Alec's eyes comb the ceiling as he chews the inside of his cheek. Magnus keeps his eyes shut, his breathing even and meticulous, though he can feel the tension rolling off his boyfriend almost palpably. It's distracting.
After what feels like ages, Magnus turns on his side towards the bedside lamp and switches it off, leaving the two in the dark room that glows white with just the moonlight.
It hurts to lie on his side, but it'll hurt less in a second.
Reaching behind him, Magnus's fingers search through the open space that Alec has put between them, until he finds what feels like Alec's forearm. Giving his arm a tug, Alec gets the hint and quickly slides closer, turning on his side and letting Magnus guide his arm over his narrow waist and across his body. The warlock shifts and moves until there's no space between his back and Alec's chest. His hand sliding from Alec's arm to his fingers, he holds the young hunter's hand to his bare chest.
Magnus secretly (not-so-secretly) loves the feeling of Alec's callused and scarred hands.
With Alec's body running the length of his, Magnus gives a shiver, the body heat his boyfriend offers seems to radiate through to his core. Alec moves his legs to tangle with Magnus's, his socked feet brushing against bare ones, his nose burying in Magnus's hair that is clean and damp and smells like citrus fruit.
Magnus's eyes fall closed again, his entire body buzzing with the close proximity. The comfortable silence drowning out the loud memories that thump against his temple, asking for his attention. The thoughts that threaten to seep in and further poison his mind and ache against his soul.
But right now they can wait. The world of downworlders and shadowhunters. Valentine and The Clave. The politics and semantics of it all. That world isn't welcome into this bed.
Thanks all! Stay tuned and shoot me a review letting me know your thoughts on this new project! (Sorry for any grammatical errors as well)