Okay this is a simple one shot that I thought of watching the news. Just a completely ridiculous made up stuff. There will also be mention of a joke from the comedian Kevin Hart. Also if you are looking for a decent Naruto fic about Naruto being a Jashinist Check out my other story Naruto: Blade of Jashin very small bleach elements. I do not own Naruto

A sixteen year old Uzumaki Naruto was sitting in the Hokage's office waiting for his baa-chan, Tsunade Senju to come in and give him his punishment for his latest... 'prank'. A couple minutes later and Tsunade walked in with a box of sake in her arms which she placed under her desk as she sat down with a sigh. Naruto chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head and gave a little wave.

"How are ya baa-chan?"

"Don't baa-chan me Naruto, you have been gone for three years and the first thing you do when you get back is this. And in front of almost all of Konoha, fifty different Daimyo, the Raikage, the new Mizukage, their shinobi, and one-hundred potential clients. I even have a video of your little... performance." Naruto tried to hold back a laugh which came out as a choked noise in the back of his throat. Tsunade sighed as she pulled out a tape and unsealed a TV from a seal on her desk and out in the video.

Flashback/Video

It was another chunin exam finals in the village of Konoha, almost all of the village were sitting in the stands of some of the Chunin and Jounin were using chakra to stand on the ceiling. ANBU were everywhere In the shadows and even in plain sight, people were making bets, vendors were selling goods, and some of the more paranoid Daimyo had extra samurai guards as they remembered the last chunin exams in Konoha. This one in particular was supposed to happen in Kiri but they didn't have the man power to rebuild, guard their village, and host an exam of this size and importance at the same time.

Currently two Genin, one from Kiri and another from Kumo were fighting to prove that they are ready for Chunin rank. In a display of fantastic Kenjutsu which both villages of Kumo and Kiri, mostly Kiri, were infamous and famous for. As the crowd was cheering someone from one of the VIP boxes dove out of it's now open window and landed on the ground, showing that it was a shinobi. And as the ANBU tensed ready for another attack, the form stood up revealing a head of spiky blond hair, calender blue eyes, and whiskered cheeks revealing it to be Uzumaki Naruto... In the nude. He took a breath and yelled out as loud as he could.

"Look out Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto has returned!" Naruto then started running around the field as ANBU, Jounin, Chunin, Genin, and even Samurai in the stands chased him while yelling at him to leave the arena. Naruto then leaped up and stuck to the low hanging ceiling of the Daimyo stands and ran around then stopped at the wide eyed Daimyo of the new land of spring. "How are you doing Koyuki-hime, haven't seen ya in a while. If you aren't doing anything later maybe we could... Oh shit, sorry gotta run!" Naruto then ran around and stopped occasionally to make passes at the women in the stands. Though most were distracted by the large package hanging from between his legs. One of them managed to say the word penis, wrong word.

Naruto rounded on the women who said penis. "Hey, that ain't no penis that's a long dick! Ain't you ever seen a long dick before? Why don't you go ahead and spell long dick, I'll help. L-O DICK!" Naruto ran off again and ran past the Konoha 12 accidentally hitting Hinata in the head who immediately fainted and Kiba and even Shino were laughing at the event. As Naruto passed Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi who passed out Konohamaru and Udon looked at each other then tore off their clothes and followed. Some other people, shinobi and otherwise joined in the streaking and hitting on others. Orochimaru who was hiding as one of the Hokage's guards had removed his disguise and had unsealed a camera and was taping all of the nude teen boys, before he left and ordered his army of Edo Tensei shinobi to dispel as he had gotten a better prize than Konoha's destruction.

Naruto who sensed Orochimaru leave stopped where he was and made one-hundred clones and made half turn into his sexy jutsu form and made them dance with some Naruto's turning into stripper poles. Then Naruto was knocked out and the ANBU who did it heard him mumble out.

"Ultimate Streaker no Jutsu."

Flashback/Video end

Tsunade glared at Naruto who chuckled nervously as Tsunade paced behind her desk. She then sighed once again as she looked out of the window.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Well you did see the part where Orochimaru left who was planning another invasion only with Edo Tensei soldiers. Ero-sennin had caught word and I made this plan and with me being the fastest came as soon as possible." Tsunade could only nod with a sigh as this the kind of hair brained plan Naruto and Jiraiya would come up with. It was then when she noticed Naruto become very serious. "Also you seem to have forgotten the most important thing in the world..." Naruto paused for effect. Tsunade leaned forward to hear this thing she apparently forgot. "The most important thing is that: Every good public event has a streaker." Tsunade only face vaulted to the floor as she saw the ANBU in the farthest corner nod his head.